Pirate -.'s Profile

I can't tell you how jazzed I am that Lexi & I now have a for-real coffee shop within walking distance of home.

Not only do they do coffee and pastries, they've got a nice selection of sandwiches and salads. They also do breakfast items like eggs & sausage w/ toast. Not having a grill, the eggs are steamed and they use one of the croque/panini grill-presses for the sandwiches. Yum! Any time Lexi &I go out and we BOTH clear our plates, that's some place we're going back to, fer shoor.

The interior is painted in warm, welcoming tones of yellow and terra cotta. The music was at an unobtrusive volume, and the art on the wall today seemed to be the "Bug-Eyed and Hostile Looking Street Animals of the Bay Area" suite, didn't note the artist. But lots of rats and pigeons and raccoons up to no good. Loved it [EDIT: Seems the artist is Yelp's own Bob D., http://www.nervousfing...].

I can see this place becoming a staple for us. And it'll be really nice to feel like there's a neighborhood coffee shop.

p.s. Contrary to Chester's review, Lexi & I both thought the baristas were cute.

I'm sure they serve stuff other than flourless chocolate cake and coffee, but I am so absorbed by the absolute oral delight of such stunning sensuality that is those two items paired together, the other delicacies are peripheral to my experience.

I mean, what more does one need than a slice of flourless chocolate cake and a cup of Crixa coffee? That's the Bogey-&-Bacall of East Bay pastries. It is sublime in its grace, beauty, sexiness, and overall rightness. At least, as far as I'm concerned.

Every time I walk into Crixa, I feel like I should sit up straight and not slurp my coffee. Suddenly, the big ham-fisted New Yorker senses that it's the correct thing to do to stir his coffee with a small spoon and eat with a small fork, and not raise his voice. It all feels so... European.  And not in some disdainfully French sort of way. I think it's some kind of force field.

The decor is pleasant and homey without being exuberant. There are copper baking pans hanging alongside strings of rope-lights. Marble tables sit next to wooden-slat benches with a butt-pleasingly ergonomic curve to them. People sip their beverages, nibble their pastries, converse quietly, tap on laptops, read newspapers, etc., mostly in silence.

The staff are not indifferent, far from it. But they seem to go about their jobs with a quiet, almost monk-like professionalism.

Which makes it all the more glaring when someone comes in like a caricature of the most over-the-top, enthusiastic American you've ever seen: "WOW, THIS PLACE IS GREAT! ARE YOU THE OWNER? I LOVE THE DECOR. OKAY, I'LL TAKE ONE OF THOSE AND A COFFEE. EXCUSE ME, IS THAT COFFEE YOU'RE DRINKING STRONG? BECAUSE I LIKE MY COFFEE STRONG. LEMME KNOW HOW IT IS, THANKS! EXCUSE ME, I DON'T MEAN TO INTRUDE, I SEE YOU'RE WORKING ON SOME PAPERWORK. I WAS JUST WONDERING IF I COULD CLAMBER OVER YOU AND GIVE THAT GREEN MAN DOOR KNOCKER A WHACK! THANKS!"

He was obviously immune to the Euro-soothing energy field that Crixa gives off.

And yes, my coffee was pleasantly strong.

Wow, I really liked this burger joint down San Leandro way.

Lexi & I just went by today while doing other errands in the area. In fact, Lexi picked out BB after reading the Yelp reviews.

This is a stripped-down, no-frills burger joint. There are black & white photos of (as I remember) customers and scenes around the place, but basically there is no decor and I love that. The workers here most certainly do not wear 17 pieces of flair.

I ordered the Best Burger (w/ pastrami & cheese) & Lexi got the bacon burger with fries. The fries were perfectly acceptable, but nothing to write home about. [Lexi: They would have been significantly improved with some Tabasco for the ketchup, but I guess Tabasco is a bit too... non-basic.] The onion rings, OTOH, were really tasty.

Lemme digress for a moment about wall menus (I'll bring it back round in a moment). At Best Burger, the menu reads "All burgers come with mayo, mustard, ketchup, red onions, tomato, lettuce, and pickles." And that's EXACTLY the toppings that come standard. So if I don't want mayo or pickles, I can ask them to hold it and they will.

Dammit people, do NOT f8cking put up a PARTIAL list of toppings and then sneak something onto my meal that I f8cking hate. Nothing makes me want to choke-submit a total stranger into unconsciousness than:

-reading a menu that lists stuff like lettuce, tomato, mayo, etc but does not list something as evil and revolting as, say pickles, and ordering my sandwich based on that information
-Getting a sandwich that has pickles on it
-Being told "Oh, but all our sandwiches come with pickles."

THEN WHY DID YOU NOT PUT IT ON THE LIST OF OTHER F8CKING TOPPINGS THAT ALL YOUR SANDWICHES COME WITH?

Thankfully, Best Burger lets you know precisely what the standard toppings are and will hold them at your request. Bless you, all of you. Ok, you messed up on the Lexiburger and gave her pickles, but you got mine and it's my review. Still...

One of the keys, IMO, is the real charcoal grilling. Mmmm, meat-over-coal-fire. Yeah, Burger King is flame-broiled or whatever they call it. It's still natural gas they're cooking with. Real ozone-layer-destroying charcoal makes the burger taste better and only communists say otherwise!

Our order came up in a timely fashion and, aside from the issue of the Lexipickles, it was damn tasty. My burger was just as I like it; medium well, no pickles or mayo, stuffed full of pastrami and patty & grilled onions & everything else that it has to be wrapped in a sheet of waxed paper or it's gonna fall apart all over your face. That's my kinda burger.

Simple menu, simple food, and they do it right. What more can you ask for from a burger joint?

I mean, not you. You have a filthy mind and might ask for something perverted. But in general.

Best pho in Oakland by my reckoning. Not greasy at all, the beef broth is tasty and juicy and EXACTLY what I want when I'm coming down the back end of a cold or flu.

The portions are GENEROUS and the menu lists all the icky bits... AHEM, I mean authentic ingredients like the tripe and tendon. Beginners should go for just the rare steak, Trust me. The fresh basil on the table kicks ass, although I always prefer it when they can get limes in season rather than lemons.

I give my pho a healthy squirt of the Sriracha hot sauce and the brown hoisin, which I gather is non-trad. Normally, the sauce is served on the side and the beef is dipped into right before you eat it. But I like a beefy, spicy broth that burns the back of the throat.

Okay, the service isn't the snappiest, but I wouldn't call it rude. It's more... perfunctory. And you see a really wide spectrum of Oakland coming through the door and having a meal, which I really like. Plus, they're open much later than most other pho joints.

Yeah, there's other stuff on the menu, but the beef pho is what it's all about for me. Been eating there for over 10 years.

French/Vietnamese bakery that has some utterly tasty offerings. Their coconut macaroons are cripsy-baked on the outside and chewy inside, and at 4 for a$1 ($.80 ea for the large), they're also the best price I've found. So far, DP is the hands-down winner in the Oaktown macaroon game. NOTE: Lexica reminds me that the large macaroons have a crispy/chewy ration that's skewed in favor of the chewy, and she prefers the small ones which are more even that way. I like both.

The pineapple bread are 3 for $1.25 and have this scrumptuous golden crumbly topping. Lexica & I go through these things daily. Great with coffee. Especially the coffee I make. I make damn fine coffee. Oh, and Lexi reminds me to tell you to put them in a ziploc bag if you're keeping them overnight.

The raspberry rings are TO DIE FOR. Flaky pastry, but it still maintains it's integrity and doesn't fall apart when you bite in. Mmmm!

I really like their banh mi sandwich loaves. Around 5 for $1.25, they're just the right size to slice open and stuff full of sandwichey goodness. Yes, your sandwich will be tastier on bread baked that morning within 5 miles of home. Trust me.

I haven't even tried everything in the shop. Cookies of all stripes and cakes as well. Often you can get a big bag of sheet-cake end trimmings for not much at all. They make a great trifle.

And there are plenty of savory breads; pork, onions, hot dog, mmmmmm!

This place is dangerously convenient to my mornings.

Second-run movies with comfy seats/couches, and they serve beer, wine, pizza, and other tasties. Stop wasting your movie-viewing $$ on those horrid, synthetic, industrialized, corporate movie theaters like Jack London Square and check out the Parkway.

Did I mention the beer & wine part?

I've had better pizza, but I ate New York pizza for 18 years so I'm a snob that way. And pizza at the movies is like sex at the movies; even if it isn't the greatest you've ever had, you're still getting it at the movies. With beer and wine.

Monday nights are "Baby Brigade". Because parents with young children want to go see movies and know they won't be bothering anyone but themselves. Wednesday night is 2-for-1 night. Bring a friend. And don't forget to check out Thrillville, hosted by WIll the Thrill and Monica, Tiki Goddess [http://Thrillville.net]. Wanna find out what Thrillville is like? Read my write-ups of the festivities, http://spiritualmonkey.... Often with peekchoors.

Cash only, 21+, park on the street but NOT in the Kragen lot right next door. They tow.

Best taco truck in the (510). Their carnitas is KILLER. The burritos are FAT and tasty, the tacos are delicious, and it's all not that expensive. Table seating and limited parking is available.  Very much a place where the Spanish-speaking locals go to eat.

Across the parking lot is a second truck, "Mariscos Sinaloa", where they focus on the seafood options, ceviche etc. The Lady Wife is quite fond of the shrimp tacos and fish ceviche.

And there are plenty of hookers available up either direction on International if you're looking for that after-burrito-blowjob. I'm just sayin...

Best pub in Berzerkeley, hands down.

They have a great beer selection (both bottled and an tap), and while they have a comparatively limited liquor selection, there's no crap-ass booze in the well. Skyy and Makers Mark are the well booze and it goes up from there. Seriously.

The atmosphere is nice and inviting, with board games like Connect 4 and Trivial Pursuit,  6 awesome dart lanes (tuesday is league night), a pool table, bottomless popcorn bowls for $.25, they're totally cool with you bringing in your own food (or getting a pizza delivered), and (just recently) a Galaga/Ms. Pac-Man combo game in the alcove where the pay-phone used to be.

Sunday night is Pub Quiz night, free. Come with some friends & test your team's trivia knowledge. Maybe win some prizes like drink tokens. There's also live acoustic music several times a month, usually on Wednesday and/or Saturday nights. Music nights are a small cover.

My favorite fact is that they purposefully keep the stereo down to a conversational level. This is a place to go and hang out with friends and have a good time and do the things associated with drinking. It rocks.

Cash only, but there's an ATM just inside the door and to the left.

On a personal note, the staff there are in large part dear friends of mine. Do tip generously because they work hard to make The Bird the cozy inviting atmosphere it is.

And because God knows when you don't tip. And God takes notes.

This is my kinda gym. The AAC is not for people who want bright, shiney, neon-lit gyms with sparkling new machines. This is not 24-Hour Fitness. No, this is a place for people who want to get in, get a solid workout, and get out. Lots of iron plates and bars in the main room, with solid, functional machines.

Other high points include:
-Sauna & hottub in both the Mens & Women's lockers
-LARGE wood-floored dance studio for everything from karate to yoga classes
-Good cardio machines upstairs
-punching bags and medicine balls upstairs as well
-Women's only workout room upstairs

This isn't a joint to stand around in your latest gym fashions, this is a place to work out. 'Nuff said.

One of our favorite sushi joints in Oaktown. The fish is tasty, well prepared, and definitely go for the Masu Sake, because Coach (the Maitre D') keeps your square wooden cup pretty full.

After a delicious sushi dinner in a pleasant environment, go out and take a stroll by Lake Merritt while you digest. After dark, the Necklace of Lights around the lake is gorgeous.

And yeah, the folded cranes that come on the tray with your bill are extra cool points.