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Photo of judy p.

"My memory is long and I'm very petty."

Review votes:
99 Useful, 133 Funny, and 91 Cool

Compliments You're Funny (13) Thank You (30) Good Writer (3) Just a Note (6) Great Photo (1) Hot Stuff (12) You're Cool (17) Write More (1)
Location

San Francisco, CA

Yelping Since

July 2008

Things I Love

books, brains, olive oil, squishy babies, aminals, bromances, flipping my hair, stepping on your face

Find Me In

transit, via public means

My Hometown

Jupiter

My Blog Or Website

http://twitter.com/tre...

When I'm Not Yelping...

I'm writing up innovative ways to use eyeliner

Why You Should Read My Reviews

I don't know, but I usually write them drunk

My Second Favorite Website

http://thinkprogress.org, http://notcot.org

The Last Great Book I Read

A Soldier of the Great War by Mark Helprin

My First Concert

Coldplay at the Fillmore

My Favorite Movie

The Big Lebowski, Mary Poppins, The Usual Suspects, Some Like It Hot

My Last Meal On Earth

Buckets of oysters, pitchers of ice-cold beer, friends

Don't Tell Anyone Else But...

Yes!

Most Recent Discovery

http://www.thecrispery...

Current Crush

Audrey Kawasaki

Recent Reviews

70 Reviews

Filter by: Location   Category
588 Sutter St
San Francisco, CA 94102
(415) 834-1555

The UPS Store  

Categories: Couriers & Delivery Services, Shipping Centers
Neighborhoods: Nob Hill, Union Square

1 star rating
 12/15/2009  
This place is unfuckingbelievable. I'm so furious that I'm laboriously typing this out on my blackberry, so forgive any typing/formatting errors.

I've been here about 3-4 times. Every time, the workers have been flippant and apathetic, but it's the closest UPS location to my work, so I kept coming. I've been cheerful and nice even in the face of their obviously skewed work ethic. Today, however, the greasy, ugly, curly-haired man launched an unbidden tirade on me for not making pick-up time, demanding where I worked and that I tell my boss not to come past pick-up.

He also yelled that they used to close at 6 until UPS made them stay open until 6:30, and that he didn't have room to keep the boxes I had dropped off. The time was about 5:30, an hour until their closing time. By the end, he was flat-out shouting at me, totally unprovoked.

Look, douche. I'm sorry that my boxes are taking up your jack-off space and that UPS is trying to cater to customers' needs, but do your fucking job and take my goddamn boxes. If I could stomach seeing your ugly ass again, I would come every day with packages to drop off at 6:20 pm, just to make you hate me more for actually asking you to do your job during your designated work hours. As it is, I realize you saw me as an easy target, what with my being a young lady with a pleasant demeanor and cheerful smile, but I will fuck your face with my fist if you speak to me that way again.

Seriously unprofessional, unreliable, and just dirtbags in general.

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405 Howard St
San Francisco, CA 94101
(415) 593-8920

Peet's Coffee & Tea  

Category: Coffee & Tea
Neighborhood: SOMA

5 star rating
 12/3/2009  
Overheard at this location: "So have you shaved your tits today?" Insert screeching of brakes here.

I am going to STALK this Peet's until I run into the speaker again, and next time I'll be ready with a recording device.

The drinks are good too. Except for the Gingerbread Latte, which tasted like Santa had hit the bottle and yakked into my cup. Also, the dude taking my order said "Awesome!" or "Cool!" (or both!) after every question of his that I answered. Awesome.

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126 Broadway
Oakland, CA 94607
(510) 663-2350

Everett & Jones Barbeque  

Categories: American (Traditional), Barbeque
Neighborhood: Jack London Square

4 star rating
 11/29/2009  
This place is super saucy (in a way that makes you want to lick your plate), and when it comes to sauce, I like it hot. The hot sauce here--while forreal flavorful--was not that hot, so don't be scared to try it. I ordered the two-way combo with beef and chicken and was in no way any match for the mountainous plate that came my way. I tried my darndest, though, and I think I did my eating buddy proud. The meat is more like a vehicle for the sauce to get in your mouth.

Each dinner comes with two sides along with either corn or wheat bread. Obvs I opted for cornbread, along with yams and greens. The yams were almost too sweet for consumption, but the greens were lovely.

The food might not be ALL THAT, but I'd certainly make the trek out here for bbq, if only to avoid Memphis Minnie's. Not to mention the warm, genuine, slightly sassy service that came with my meal here.

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19700 Stevens Creek Blvd
Cupertino, CA 95014
(408) 996-1776

Yogurtland  

Categories: Ice Cream & Frozen Yogurt, Desserts

5 star rating
 11/29/2009 1 photo  
I used to hang in this plaza all the time in high school, but there was no Yogurtland back then. If there had been, I would have missed a lot more Physics.

I perfected my soft serve swirl back at the dining halls in college, so I delight in the self serve M.O. they've got going on. I revel in it. I secretly compete with others in line with me to see who swirls the best. It also comes with the added bonus of being able to choose how much of each flavor you want without pissing off any counter-chained employees.

If the fro-yo is the rainbow (and with their variety of flavors, I'd argue that it is), then the cornucopic (shut up; I know it's not a word) offering of toppings is its conclusive pot of gold. Even though it's only thirty cents an ounce, I try to hold back on heavy substances like mochi balls, though it's hard to convince myself not to get condensed milk. This is because the condensed milk looks like drizzled jizz, and I'm not the kind of person who can pass jizz stylings up. I don't even know if I'm allowed to say "jizz" here. JIZZ. Also it's delicious. The condensed milk, I mean.

ILU, Yogurtland. I wish your lines weren't so long in the summer, but nothing is more perfect on a hot summer night than sitting out on the plaza's patio tables with a jizz-coated cup of self-served fro-yo.

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4288 24th St
San Francisco, CA 94114
(415) 821-7652

Firefly  

Category: American (New)
Neighborhood: Noe Valley

4 star rating
 11/29/2009  
I'm writing this with a stomach ache, so if I sound unduly cranky, it's not because of the restaurant.

Eating at Firefly is kind of like eating at home (if your mother is Martha Stewart), except they cook better than you and demand payment for it. The real kind of payment, not the "Good for 1 Free Dinner :)" coupon crap that stingy bastards dole out on special occasions. By "stingy bastards" I mean children.

What I mean to say is that you can feel comfortable here, and the wait staff are a big part of that. Our server was knowledgeable without being condescending and made wonderful recommendations when asked. I came months ago with my family and again more recently on a date, and out of two visits I have zero complaints.

The first time I came, I had the duck breast. I distinctly remember thinking at the time, "This duck is good." Moving forward to this more recent visit, we started with the recommended shrimp and sea scallop potstickers, which were very nice. Then we had the grilled pork chop for him and the fried chicken for me.

Ok, I have to say it. On the menu, the fried chicken is listed as "The Fried Chicken of Your Dreams with Mashed Potatoes & Gravy, Peas & Carrots and a Damn Fine Buttermilk Biscuit." Adorable. I like little touches that show thoughtful attention, but more than that, I love stuff with silly names.

I do dream about fried chicken, but I never dreamed that the fried chicken here would be cooked to such DELECTABLE PERFECTION. GIVE ME YOUR RECIPE. The biscuit also proved to be so fine I almost demanded that it back its ass up. And multiply into mass quantities I could shove into my purse.

I would love to talk about dessert, but we didn't have any because I'd baked strawberry shortcake. It was divine, in case you're curious.

Quirky, rustic and warm, Firefly certainly makes for a fine meal. The minus one star is for not always having fried chicken on their menu.

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150 Stockton St
San Francisco, CA 94108
(415) 249-2720

The Rotunda  

Category: American (New)
Neighborhood: Union Square

4 star rating
 11/10/2009  
I'm very fond of afternoon tea, and The Rotunda serves it nicely. I've been here twice for tea and once for lunch, and all three times it's been a pleasure. As a minimalist, I enjoy the simple elegance of the decor, although running breathlessly up the escalators when I'm late to meet someone somewhat negates that clean feeling.

I believe afternoon tea was $35, which is a fair price. The teas are excellent, and the selection of sweet and savory treats is ridiculously filling. I seriously applaud you if you are able to finish even without having eaten lunch, and this is coming from a veritable sweets enthusiast. In actuality, the sweets somewhat overpowered the savory portion, and I grew a little sick towards the end of teatime.

The one time I came for lunch, it was as a break from shopping. I had the lobster club, which I savored the shit out of. We're talking holy delicious, here. Granted, I was famished, but it really took the edge off my "Omg I'm unemployed" shopping spree. (Counterproductive? Maybe! Fun as hell? Mos def.)

The waitstaff obviously know what it means to work in the industry. Everyone has been lovely every single time, which is not easily accomplished. Professional, accommodating, and very sweet. Thank you!

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5800 Geary Blvd
San Francisco, CA 94121
(415) 752-2222

Aziza  

Category: Mediterranean
Neighborhood: Outer Richmond

4 star rating
 11/3/2009  
I really enjoyed eating here. Just stepping inside was a pleasure, and everyone was kind and knowledgeable. The drink menu is interesting; I had the cucumber gin, and it was perfect.

We got the five course tasting menu, which was a very relaxed and pleasurable eating experience, perfect for people who enjoy each others' company. By the time our entrees rolled around, I was full from the fantastic soup and interesting spreads. Everything was so rich and evenly paced that I really felt like I needed a nap before I could even think about starting in on my scallops, not to mention dessert. There were some dishes I enjoyed a lot more than others (the basteeya I could have done without, for example), and I don't think I'd be able to tackle the tasting menu again, but I do recommend it to first-time patrons!

I'd come back here especially for the ambiance, drinks and soup.

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631 Kearny Street
San Francisco, CA 94108
(415) 982-7877

R & G Lounge  

Categories: Chinese, Seafood
Neighborhoods: Nob Hill, Chinatown

4 star rating
 11/3/2009  
This is a late review, considering I can't remember if it's been weeks or months since I ate here. I lack a day job, so the days kind of blur into each other, and it's not so easy to guess season by the weather these days. But I can still say with jubilance that this is the stuff! When my date asked me what I'd feel like eating that night, I responded without thinking, "Crab." And crab is what I got.

The wait was long, but the salt and pepper crab was huge and finger-licking good. We toyed with the idea of "Tender Greens in Supreme Broth" (sidenote: I just can't get enough of some dish titles, other favorites at various restaurants being "Tasty Broth" and "Princess Dish"), but decided on eggplant and a few other things instead, all delicious. Honestly, we could just have ordered the crab and it would have been more than enough to satiate both our hunger and my lust for crab (previously believed to be insatiable).

We obviously came nowhere near finishing, but I had a really yummy lunch and dinner the next day.

I will say that I was severely tempted to get the shark fin soup, because it was a long-standing favorite of mine prior to reading article after article on damaged ecosystems. Happily, my moral values prevailed. I bet it would have been so dericious, though.

Service was good, although from what I hear, it can be hit-and-miss. I wish I had another birthday to celebrate this year so I could come back for their banquet. With a group of people. To watch me eat.

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10690 N. De Anza Boulevard
Cupertino, CA 95014
(408) 865-6970

BJ's Restaurant & Brewhouse  

Categories: American (Traditional), Breweries

1 star rating
 11/1/2009  
My mom and I used to come here for lunch occasionally to down a pitcher while ingesting mediocre food. Those halcyon days are long gone, and I now avoid this place like the plague.

It's not that the food is awful or the service bad (though neither can be called stellar by any standards), but the people I encounter here always seem like they were sent straight from douche paradise.

On one occasion, I was sitting at the bar with some friends. I'd been tipping heavily because I used to be a waitress, and anyone who's ever worked as a food server automatically tips on the high side of the scale. I distinctly remember laying down a $20 for the last drink I bought for a friend as we headed out because we couldn't stand the crowd. One of the bartenders chased us down and yelled with aggression, "Were you planning on paying for that last drink?" I already paid, you total dick, and definitely over-tipped you and your much nicer counterpart for how long you took in getting us our drinks (FOREVER).

Because my friend was gearing up for a fight and the bartender was being such a jerk that I wouldn't have been able to justify breaking up said fight, I handed the bartender another $20 just to get away from BJ's and its douchey clientele and asshat of a bartender. Had I been able to tolerate the atmosphere more than a minute longer, I would have asked to speak with the manager, because that shit is ridic.

The next time I want a decent brew with some good eats in the area, I'll head over to Tied House in Mountain View. The crowd is a little older, but I also never leave wishing I'd punched someone in the face.

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251 Castro St
Mountain View, CA 94041
(650) 969-4847

Zen Lounge  

Categories: Lounges, Dance Clubs

3 star rating
 9/22/2009  
My twitter update from the first time I came here reads: "At Zen Lounge in Mountain View. The music is ridic loud and there are like 4 football games on. Sensory overload."

It was really shockingly loud for a Thursday, and clearly impossible to get a quick drink. The music they were playing reminded me of a 13 year old's iTunes playlist, which--I'm not gonna lie--I found pretty delightful. The bartender was sweet and doing lots of tricks and things, which was neat and all, but such a time suck!

Here's why we came:
Happy Hour! Tues-Sat, 7PM-10PM
$1 Coors Lite
$2 Champagne
$3 Flavored Martinis (apple, lemon, etc.)
$4 Don Julio Shots

I personally believe that one should not call a cocktail a martini unless it is comprised of vermouth, either vodka or gin (preferably the latter) and a garnish, but Zen Lounge begs to differ. Whatevs. We partook of the champagne, then left for better flowing liquors.

We came here another time on a Wednesday and it was much less crowded, which meant a lot more face time with the bartender. Always good! This time, they were hosting a Hurry Date event, so I was able to get in some good heckling in addition to getting my drink on.

The music was again loud and while there is a dance floor, no one danced either of the times I came. There's also a reservable VIP Mezzanine section upstairs, which I went and sat in by myself a few times when I had to use the restroom up there. It was nice!

We met some fantastic people and had a good time. I'll probably be back some other night when I'm in the area. And then eat pho afterwards.

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83 Compliments

  • You're Cool

    You're so cool polar bears wear sweaters around you.

  • Just a Note

    wow

  • You're Funny

    You're absolutely hilarious! I almost want to visit your local UPS store… More »

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