Jeff W.'s Profile

This is the _best_ 3 star review I have ever written. So why not 4 stars? One reason: I have only been once. OK then Mister Smart Ass, why write a review at all? Because what I had was absolutely one of the best dishes I have had, bar none, in a Chinese restaurant.

Three things were 4 star:
1. The Basil Garlic Chicken -- which I ordered with extra jalapenos was rip-your-clothes-off outstanding. Jalapenos is a tad creative in a Chinese restaurant, and I strongly recommend you ask for extra Jalapenos and if you even marginally like spicy food, you will thank me. Perhaps send me a crisp $100 bill.
2. The Mandarin serves hard liquor. This may sound trivial but as My Devout Followers on Yelp know: I covet a Fine Martini with Asian food which is sadly lacking in Restaurant-land. Why in God's name we must only have beer or crap wine with Chinese food is... well, deeply depressing. The Mandarin also makes an excellent Martini. Gotta love 'em.
3. Max the waiter -- steers you to the plates and is a Righteous Dude. Sit in his section.

My group was extremely happy with food off the Chef Specials page but 2 other plates from the main menu rated 3 stars. So I am reserving a Walker 4 stars until further exploration.

I also have an honest admission to my Devout Followers. I _love_ China Delight ("China Dee") on Emerson a block away so if you don't want a Martini, I highly recommend China Dee.

But for those you like Drinks-You-Can-Light-on-Fire, hit the Mandarin, say "Hi" to Max, and get that Basil Garlic Chicken. And don't forget the $100 bill.

I am writing this review as a member of the Citizen Arts Defense Committee, a committee of one.

I am defending the good name of University Art. To demonstrate some objectivity and restraint, I am giving the place 3 stars. Let me start the defense by asking the Good People of Yelp, how many other art stores are there in Palo Alto? The answer is one, and it's not downtown. Isn't it nice that we have _one_ art store downtown, for Chrissakes?

This place is not perfect. And yes, it's not a Hard Core Gosh-I-must-be-Rembrandt Art Store, for all you Future Gaugins out there. I am a fairly serious amateur artist (http://tinyurl.com/5b2w63) and much prefer getting my hard core Hit-the Vein fix at Utrecht in the City. But that costs me two hours of time, 2 gallons of gas, and the anxiety of city parking (I commit to a scathing review of Palo Alto's Officious Nazi-like Parking Maids some other time, thank you... may they die in Hell).

Sure is nice to pop in for a pad of Bristol or another Ecru pencil I don't need or any Cheap Art Fix. And yes I have done framing here, and they did a very good job for a reasonable price.

I agree half the staff can look like they just had a couple of Ambien. But then there's Doug, who works in the back. He's awesome. He's a God. Seek out the more alert staff, give them a sip of your latte, and you will have a fine experience. Thank yourself we have a (granted-hobbyist) art store in Palo Alto and Lighten the F@#$ up.

The defense rests. Support the Arts. Support local businesses. Breathe, people, breathe.

If you're reading a review before going to the supermarket, you're either ADD, Obsessive Compulsive, a Sick-Wondering-Yelper or a loser like me. Because I am writing the review.

People, I don't get these 3 and 4 star reviews. Case in point:

"Really expensive market in a really expensive town". Duh. Well then, drive your F150 out of town, sweetheart. If you come to Menlo Park for low prices, you need hospitalization.

Whole Foods? Sorry. Yeah, I like the massive size of some of the Whole Foods, but it's _not a local business_; it's Another Chain Invading the Planet with zero local personality. The Draegers family live locally and do an awesome job.

Draegers trumps Whole Foods' meat and fish. Draegers has an upstairs with cooking equipment. Draegers' staff are almost universally great. (There's that one woman in deli. You know who you are. Are you shagging the owner? What's the story?). And the Halogen lighting makes the food taste better.

For those of you who seriously prefer the remodeled Safeway. I suspect you also wish McDonalds took over the Earth. Actually I am sympathetic if you find Draegers' prices high, but it an awesome store. I am also a Devoted Fan of Trader Joe's and one simple reason is Value, baby. Safeway, on the other hand, is the Death Star and should explode into lettuce bits and shrapnel, if I were Straf-Bombing Menlo Park (one of my fantasies).

OK, you read a review of a supermarket. That makes at least two losers.

This is a walk down memory lane. Sort of. Memory lane, however, does not have Plasma TVs. This barber shop does. But the mere fact that you have chosen a Barber Shop and are spending $15 vs. $40 says it all.

It says a few things about you:
-- You are a cheap ass. That's not an insult. Take pride in this.
-- You hair is  weird and $40 is not going to save you.
-- You hair is so awesome and you could dye it Green and shave half your head, and you would still get attacked by the opposite sex.
-- You don't care. You have supreme Confidence and the World can simply Go F#@$ itself.
-- You like Supercuts but have finally gotten it through your Thick Head that supporting a solid local business is the Righteous Thing to Do.

... OK, you get the point.

I like everything about the Santa Cruz Barber shop _except_ the guy who insists on slapping this Alcoholic After Shave all over my neck. Would you please ask before you assume I want Napalm all over me? I have no pests needing extermination behind my ears -- that I am aware of -- so back off, pal.

I avoid this guy and go with the women barbers. Support your local business.

I humbly submit that The Goose is a Holy Place of Worship. The world needs more local places with tradition and a commitment to the basics. Just look across the street from the Goose and you see the contrast: The Evil Starbucks -- another chain We Don't Need in Our Lives. Make a prayer for the Goose being in our lives.

Better yet: go make a prayer over a fresh Anchor Steam and a burger at the Dutch Goose. Make sure you have a couple Deviled Eggs because these babies are Straight from Holy Heaven.

I will admit something: I am known to stop by the Goose and pick up a half dozen Deviled Eggs to go, just on a whim. They should have a drive-through Deviled Eggs window. I am dead serious, people.

The Goose is a Stanford tradition, a Menlo Park tradition, a Little-League-team-celebration tradition, and just a great hangout tradition for watching a game. The selection of draft beers is good, the burgers are strong, the guacamole burger is a big Sloppy Yumbo Mouthful of Heaven, and the vibe is right. The menu also has some hidden strengths for you pussy Californians like the lobster roll.

Now I admit: I am a Blessed Man because I live walking distance from the Goose. That's right: my life is complete because I can stroll over and not worry about that 3rd beer. Yes, I can walk to my Church.

I will close with a Plea to the Good People of the Peninsula: Support these Great local businesses, in fact favor them over the Crap Chains that Invade our Lives, have a frosty at the Goose, and while you're at it, buy one of those cool Dutch Goose T-shirts.

I see one compelling reason for going to Lucky Fortune: You are standing in front of the restaurant, you just got shot on Geary Boulevard, and if you get into the restaurant, someone might call an ambulance. There might be other compelling reasons but they escape me. Why? Well, if you like Dim Sum, don't torture yourself here.

The words that come to mind to describe Lucky Fortune's Dim Sum are gelatinous, gooey, very large, oily, and average. The real bummer is the Gooey-Gelatinous part. I really like the almost transparent vegetable, shrimp and pork Dim Sums when they are light and flavorful. At Lucky Fortune, you could mop your floor with how thick these babies are. Except because of all the oil, you might not want to try this.

I give them credit in the Large and Cheap department, but even a Cheap Ass like me has to pass on the low oily quality. So don't get shot on Geary Boulevard and you're safe not having to run into this place.

I'm giving New Rivers 5 stars for a few reasons:
1. The food is _without question_ at least 4 stars, and while I prefer to hold back 5 stars until a few visits, I'm just not in Providence often enough.
2. Providence is kinda-sorta happening but it needs places like this desparately. New Rivers needs kudos for its years of service to this community that wants to be cool but has a few, well, issues still.
3. The service all around, in the bar, different wait staff, our awesome waitress were all  deserving of a clear 5 stars+.
4. The vibe is cozy and European.
5. Inez N in her Yelp review was right on and deserves credit. She's from Boston and Boston even should have spots like this.

OK, food, vibe, service all excellent. Oh, and they serve hard liquor which is appreciated, as Martinis are one of the Gifts of God. East Coasters understand the merits of hard liquor. Lord knows I do.

The creativity of the menu is excellent, and _not_ How-Do-We-Invent-Some-Jackass-Combination-Where-Yo u'll-Never-Find-the-Ingredients. The creativity is authentic using local ingredients like pigs shot on the island of Aquidneck. Hey, people shoot things in Providence.

Problems?  I have one complaint. I am not a Vertical Food Guy. I always think Vertical is a substitute for good old fashioned presentation. My wife told me to shut up about this, but once again I am right in this relationship: skip the overly vertical statues of food.

Otherwise, outstanding. Go. Don't worry about the pigs getting shot. Have a Martini. And say I sent you.

Granted, not a catchy name. These people probably won't consult Steve Jobs on the next iPhone ad campaign. But they do make great subs.

Also the Hut is not in the greatest neighborhood. But if you are Pathologically Fixated on a great Meatball sub, and you think people who screw up subs, or grinders or heros, ought to be shot on sight, then driving out North Main to the Hut is a Worthy Cause.

Meatball subs should be toasted with cheese on top. People who don't get this (and there are places on Atwells Avenue who don't) should be barred from making subs.

The Hut warns you it takes them a little time to make a sandwich but the wait is worthwhile. Meatballs with great sauce, red pepper relish and if you are inclined, onions... well, I am willing to rip my clothes off for this experience.

Why not 5 star?. I have been once and while the vibe seems right, my bar is high for a 5-star sub shop like Pino's in Brookline, Mass. Go here.

A few words come to mind: Pretentious, Over-priced [vastly], and Disappointing. The strength -- steak -- and the weaknesses -- wine list, prices, pretentiousness -- were polar opposites.

Let's focus on the positive: mouth-watering steak. Incredible. Our table had 4 different cuts and they were fabulous. My rib eye was outstanding. It was also $44.

I am searching, however, for another positive. So let's go through the problems:

Wine list -- Abysmal. We had a $75 California Central Coast Pinot which should be a safe bet and it was an alcoholic, thin, tasteless wine. The somelier smirked when I asked about it. We suffered through it. So we went for a second bottle. His recommendations were starting at $100-120 a pop. I asked if anything was reasonably priced, and $80 was the best he could do. We tasted one he said we could reject, and we passed given it was flat and expensive. He had no strong recommendations for something he stood behind for less than $80. Zero. I'm sorry but that's inexcusable.

Service -- After asking twice if we could order appetizers first while we thought about what steaks, the waitress told us we had to order all at once. WTF? Who is the customer? Can't we take our time over a $1,000 meal for 7??! She was insistent.

Prices in general -- The final tally of $1000 for 7 says it all given we had one bottle of wine. Glasses of dessert wine start at $20. Can't we be a little flexible, Guys? My $16 Clam salad appetizer had -- I kid you not -- one teaspoon of crab. I appreciate the half avocado and the Hollywood presentation, but give me a great dish and skip the BS.

Pretentious atmosphere -- It feels like a place that has to try too hard to charge these prices. I _loved_ my steak, but I'm sorry, this wine list is a Death Sentence. There's a reason the place was largely empty.

This place would be out of business in 5 minutes in San Francisco, and Boston has much much better steak places and vastly better high end restaurants. Skip this fiasco.

Why write the 704th review of Dosa? Because I am perplexed at the high ratings.

Everything started great: cool atmosphere, packed room, great service, great explanation of the Dosas. And the starter, recommended by the waiter, was excellent: Chennai Chicken, boneless chicken marinated in yogurt, spiced and fried, served over greens. So far, I'm liking it.

Problem #1: _Do not_ order the tasting menu. At $39, it's expensive for what you get. My Lamb Kofta had two meatballs the size of nickels. A complete disappointment for what I was paying. My friends who avoided the tasting menu had reasonable servings at reasonable prices.

Problem #2: _Beware_ of going with a party of 6 or more. We had 7 and received a 20% service charge, rather steep, but when Dosa slaps on another 4% surcharge for S.F. Heath Care, you end up with everything on menu really 33% higher with tax, tip, and surcharge.

Paying $85 for one beer, one glass of wine, one tasting menu, where the main is tiny is absurd.

Aside from feeling gouged, I wish Dosa could solve the pricing problem. Some of the food is very good. Some of the Dosas average. It nets out to Decent Indian food in a cool atmosphere for high prices. Pass.

P.S. I too have been emailed by the owner. Although I appreciate his thoroughness in reading these reviews, he needs to take to heart the criticism on price/quality/portion. I agree with Lorraine L's review: http://tinyurl.com/5g5o2k: the owner needs to address the problem, and not write three-page rebuttals. Perhaps the owner could write these rebuttals for the Republican National Committee and spare me.