Rachel "Lil Miss Giggles" A.'s Profile

If you see me waddling, it's because I was impregnated by David Burke Kitchen. I call it immaculate fatception. I'm patting my food baby right now. Oh dear buttermilk fried chicken, I love you even more now than when I first heard you were on the menu.

It happens. I was lured by Restaurant Week. Then I heard that the specials of the day were all part of the plan for me to give in. A glass of Chardonnay was placed in front of me. Upon first sip, cold and crisp with a fruity finish, I fell into the downtown beat. David Burke Kitchen has sort of a rustic farm house swagger. I surrendered to the food party.

We sat in close quarters in a snug two top corner table. A basket of bread (Pretz sticks included) and miniature carrots were placed upon us. The butter, seasoned, was housed in a jar. Throughout the night, I came to learn that David Burke Kitchen loves jars. Our waitress, rambunctious (did she really just yell out *BAM* when they placed down the pork chop?!), was excellent in the art of making us salivate over food. Really, everything sounded good, and I believe you cannot order wrong at David Burke Kitchen. The dishes are huge, the appetizers alone could make for an entrée. Fear not, all three courses are included in Restaurant Week. It's as if they were giving away the food for free. I'm excited to return. Next time, I can eat for two - me and this food baby!

Our meal consisted of:

Appetizers
-The Angry Octopus (This is a trip to Spain with chorizo, white beans, lemon juice, and the most tender octopus ever.)
-Mushroom and Onion Tart (The star of this dish was the bacon wrapped egg. It was slightly runny and provided a nice sauce to the tart. Beautiful and picture worthy!)
-Smoked Pastrami Salmon (This was impressive and tasted better than it sounded. Beer foam? Pretzel toast? Get it.)

Entrée
-Buttermilk Fried Chicken (Juicy chicken in a cast iron pan. Buttermilk biscuits. Cheesy grits. GRAVY!)
-Pork Chop with mango chutney and parsley onion rings (We dubbed this the man pork chop. It was large and in charge. I liked the bright green onion rings. Everything complimented each other on this dish. Win.)
-Short Rib and Cavatelli (I loved the cavatelli. It had a great texture and a mushroom rich sauce. The short rib? I didn't care for it so much. It was dry.)

Dessert
-Butterscotch Panna Cotta (This was amaaaaazing!!! Not your ordinary plain Jane panna cotta. This was custardy and modern. I loved that it was served in a Mason jar. I loved the meringue sticks. The butterscotch is at the bottom. This was like a parfait of panna cotta.
-Plate of cookies. David Burke Kitchen gives Mrs. Fields and Nutter Butter a run for their money.)
-Chocolate Cream Cheese Bar with hazelnut whipped cream (Extremely good. It was beautiful too but gone in a blink of an eye. My friend ate it so fast I swear she inhaled it.)

I would gladly do this dinner over in a heartbeat. So this is what I've been missing out on in the last 10 years... I think I made up for lost time at David Burke Kitchen. And for the record, no I am not preggo. I'm just fat from dinner.

In sixth grade my friends and I were busted for shoplifting a bottle of liquor from the local grocery store. We stood there in front of the store, escorted by a cop, while we waited for our parents to pick us up. It was idiotic and stupid, but boy did it feel good. The rush, the excitement, the feeling of being on the other side of the tracks. It felt good not to be square.

Now don't get me wrong, I am far from being a kleptomaniac but really there is some joy from stolen things... The tip of an ice cream cone, kisses, candy from a baby... And now....

THE TRIPE TACO

The waitress sat our tacos in front of us, "Tripe, tripe, and chorizo for you." Topped with guacamole and rolled like a cone, the Taqueria Coatzingo taco is signature and one not to be skipped. On goes the citrus, a little bit of spice, whatever you fancy to liven up your taco... I took a bite and heard a crunch. Interesting. It was more like eating chicharron than something tender and fatty like chorizo. Bite again. So good. Better than I remembered it. Being the visual person that I am, I took a look and saw a crispy filling than was more akin to fried onion rings than sliced up or crumbled chorizo.

"Um, guys... I don't think this is chorizo."  
"Hey, that's my taco!"
"Hey, that's MY taco!"

My bad. So we did the whole switcharoo. The tacos were a fourth eaten but that's okay. Neither of us had any complaints. My one complaint was that I had to give it back.

"Wow. I had no idea the tripe tacos were like that. I thought they were going to be gross boiled pieces of tripe."
"Are you kidding me? The tripe is like fried pieces of goodness! Why do you think I always get it?"
"OH."

*head hangs down*

There is a lot to love about Taqueria Coatzingo. First of all it's extremely casual and friendly. I often sit at the same table every time, can loiter for hours with my friends, and they don't kick me out. They don't mind that my tab barely surpasses $5 or that I divy up every dish (well not the taco... that's mine!). My favorite things to get at Taqueria Coatzingo are really the bigger ticket items: the enchiladas, the beef steak, a cemita... You will leave highly satisfied. I like the rice and I like the complimentary freshly fried chips and spicy salsa.

Taqueria Coatzingo is open at all hours in the night and it's always full and busy. Service is a little slow, but what's the rush? The menu is a few pages long. It's gonna take you awhile to get through it... So linger... Linger a little while longer in Queens.

Somebody stop me.

Never let me into a bakery and expect me to stick to one thing. Funny enough, I was under the impression that Flour only sold sticky buns. My sister told me to go to the front to check if they had anymore left and my eyes popped when I saw all the baked goods. I came back with this report:

I'll have a sticky bun, hazelnut chocolate chip cookie, a coconut macaroon, and a jelly filled doughnut. What are you getting?

Somebody stop me. I was even tempted to get the apple cake.

Flour Bakery + Cafe is a loftlike cafe of goodness. It's definitely family friendly judging from the swarms of families with babies and toddlers that filled up the tables. This is the type of place where families meet up for lunch dates. Flour is not the type of bakery or cafe you go to for a quiet cuppa joe or to read the paper. I recommend just taking things to go.

There is just too much to consume from the loaves of bread and creme brulee to double chocolate chip cookies and portobello mushroom sandwiches.

My box of goodies survived a 4 1/2 hour bus ride back to NYC. I opened it up to have *just a taste*. Nom nom nom. Hazelnut chocolate chip cookie gone. Macaroon half gone. Sticky bun 3/4th gone. Jelly doughnut in tact. Somebody stop me. It's so good. The cookie is smooth with just little hazelnut granules. It's soft, rich with butter, and light on the chocolate side. It's the perfect cookie in my opinion. The macaroon is chewy and made of uniform shreds of coconut. It gives the French macarons a run for their money. Completely different, yes, but so much better. The sticky bun? Heavenly. The jelly doughnut? I want a reason to wake up early tomorrow morning.

I should have got the apple cake. Tomorrow by this time, there will be nothing left in my box. Not even a crumb. No siree.

Of all the gelaterias I've heard about in Rome, Il Gelato di San Crispino was the one with the most fame. It is no joke that there is a gelateria on every corner. Italians love their gelato and there is always room for one more. Ingredients are cheap, the price of a cup or cone is cheap (from a New Yorker's perspective), and even in the Wintertime a gelateria can prosper. I'm baffled and in awe at the same time that such an entity in excess thrives.

I had focused on Florence so much that I failed to map out my destinations in Rome. I figured I would just go with the flow and stumble upon things. I knew that San Crispino was somewhere near the Trevi Fountain but underestimated how difficult it would be to find amongst the short and narrow twisty streets. I walked around in circles for about 15 minutes and asked numerous Italians about San Crispino. No one knew or could help me. I gave up in sadness and decided to walk back home.

It was as if the gelato Gods were on my side because I ended up walking on the street of San Crispino. I stopped in for a taste to go (since the seating area was roped off). I chose the Crema al miele e Sorbetto alla pera. The cream of honey gelato is the signature flavor of San Crispino. Imagine licking a spoonful of honey off of a spoon without the stickiness or mess. This gelato flavor is absolute heaven without too much sweetness. The texture is also very smooth. The pear sorbet is refreshing and was a nice accent to the honey gelato. Gelato at San Crispino is kept in metal tins like Grom. I very much like how the gelato is spooned into the cups. It's proper and shoveled like royalty. It's also all natural. No preservatives.

Service was extremely friendly. I'm grateful to San Crispino because they let me use their bathroom which was closed off to the tourists in the seating area. The owner only lets his friends and family use that area but they made an exception for me. It pays to be part of the secret society.

******

Di tutte le gelaterie che ho sentito parlare a Roma, Il Gelato di San Crispino è stato quello con il maggior fama. E non è uno scherzo che c'è una gelateria in ogni angolo. Gli italiani amano il loro gelato e c'è sempre spazio per un altro. Gli ingredienti sono a buon mercato, il prezzo di una tazza o cono è a buon mercato (dalla prospettiva di un New Yorker), e anche in inverno una gelateria può prosperare. Sono sconcertato e in soggezione al tempo stesso che una siffatta entità in eccesso prospera.

Mi si erano concentrati su Firenze tanto che non sono riuscito a mappare le mie destinazioni in Roma. Ho pensato che sarebbe andato con il flusso e inciampano sulle cose. Sapevo che San Crispino era da qualche parte nei pressi della Fontana di Trevi, ma sottovalutato quanto sia difficile sarebbe quello di trovare tra le strade tortuose corta e stretta. Ho camminato in tondo per circa 15 minuti e ha chiesto molti italiani su San Crispino. Nessuno sapeva o poteva aiutarmi. Ho rinunciato a tristezza e decise di tornare indietro a casa.

Era come se gli Dei gelato sono stati dalla mia parte perché ho finito per camminare sulla strada di San Crispino. Mi sono fermato in un gusto di andare (dato che il salotto era cintato). Ho scelto la Crema al miele e Sorbetto alla pera. La crema di miele gelato è il sapore firma di San Crispino. Immaginate di leccare un cucchiaio di miele di fuori di un cucchiaio, senza la vischiosità o disordine. Questo gusto gelato è un paradiso assoluto, senza dolcezza troppo. La texture è molto liscia. Il sorbetto di pera è rinfrescante ed è stato un accento bello il gelato al miele. Gelato di San Crispino è conservato in barattoli di metallo come Grom. Mi piace molto come il gelato è cucchiaio nelle tazze. E 'giusto e spalata come dei re. E 'anche tutto naturale. Senza conservanti.

Il servizio era estremamente cordiale. Sono grato a San Crispino, perché mi hanno lasciato usare il loro bagno che è stato chiuso ai turisti nella zona salotto. Il proprietario lascia solo i suoi amici e familiari utilizzare quella zona, ma hanno fatto un'eccezione per me. Vale la pena di essere parte della società segreta.

So much for laying off Bessie. After devouring a whole cow in the Midwest, I vowed not to eat beef for a year. That lasted oh about... a few days.

I found myself at Mile End for a late lunch. At 2 o'clock, it was still packed as ever. We waited for about 45 minutes and even then and until closing time, Mile End could not catch a break. Consider yourself lucky for even getting a table. Mile End is in hot demand like Cafe Habana circa Lenny Kravitz. Except in this case, I feel that Mile End is not hyped enough. I would make the pilgrimage from Queens time and time again for the smoked meat. I am a believer in cow again.

Mile End is perfect in every way. It's quaint, smells delicious, and the service is super friendly. The tables are communal which is okay because everyone there is in good spirits. I made some new friends.

The food is so much at Mile End you need to share. Half a smoked meat sandwich is enough to fill and the poutine (with smoked meat) arrives gargantuan with eye popping and jaw dropping inducing effects. Frankly, poutine always sounded kind of gross to me but Mile End's version was just perfect. The curds slowly melted away into a faint gooey mess. I loved the gravy and the smoked meat bits. The fries were crispy and everything melded together as if they were perfectly fit puzzle pieces. BTW, there could never be enough smoked meat incorporated into the poutine. On that note, I'm making a new vow. To come back to Mile End and order a whole poutine with smoked meat all for myself. No more sharing. It's gonna be mine. All mine.

For the awkward brunch hours and tiny smidgen of space left in the yummy tummy, I highly suggest getting a cheese bagelach. I had no idea what it was but it turned out to be the best pastry/dessert type item to top off a meal. It was so good I convinced our table neighbors to get one to go for their afternoon tea time. The cheese bagelach was like a croissant tube shaped and filled with soft cheese. It was served with sour cream and a fruit compote (raisins, peaches, etc.). If that is what Montreal pastries are like, then I'm off to cross the Canadian border, um,  tomorrow.

In the meantime, Brooklyn will do. And as long as there is smoked meat, poutine, and pastries ready and waiting for me, I'll be there. It's all I want and all I can think of at 2 in the morning.

Excuse me while I get a life. A life filled with cured and smoked meat beef brisket. Fries. Gravy. Cheese. Cheese. More cheese. Need I say more?

For me, Uncle Zhou metaphorically lies somewhere between a poor man's Fu Run and an upscale Henan Flavor. Physically, Uncle Zhou is also in between Fu Run and Henan Flavor (the happy medium of Elmhurst, Queens). In other words, Uncle Zhou is juuuuuuust right according to Asian Goldilocks.

It always hits the spot. Filling and gawd awful cheap, I'm almost convinced there is no better bargain on Broadway. Where else can you go to town and indulge in shaved noodles, a big tray of chicken, pork buns, and dumplings for under $10 per person in your group? Go with an even larger group and I guarantee you will spend even less.

I've been a few times now and have been working my way through the menu. Each visit comes with a new discovery from XLB soup dumplings (aka Steamed Little Bun for American Goldilocks) and Cumin Powder Fried Lamb (less pungent and boneless in comparison to Fu Run's version but JUST AS GOOD) to House Special Fried Chicken (they really make it look special and it tastes like homemade Filipino style fried chicken) and Baked Noodle & Fish in Sweet and Sour Sauce. The house special dishes are a bit more expensive but they are definitely of high quality and cooked with LOVE to feed your SOUL. The noodle and fish dish is pretty impressive and I guarantee you have never had a fish like that before. Sometimes you just have to see to believe it for yourself as well as taste. Pictures omitted on purpose SO YOU WILL GO!

Soon enough I will return to Uncle Zhou to have the grand daddy feast of a dinner the Four Treasures meal... Quaigenuck.  Who wants to eat with me to figure that one out? The party is brewing.

There is not much to conceal when you give me a plate of Taiwanese (not to be confused with Korean) shaved ice. The expression on my face says it all. My eyes light up and I have the biggest smile.

First of all, I have to say that Snopo is no The Shaved Ice Shop. You know, the one from Hester Street Fair. You don't know? Well hurry up and be first in line next Summer. The Shaved Ice Shop is the bizness. When that is not available, Snopo satisfies even though it is second best. Sometimes you do have to settle.

The shaved ice at Snopo is literally like powdered snow. It's like stuffing snowflakes in your mouth and then it all melts into a chewy goodness thanks to the milk and condensed milk drizzles. I was joking the other night saying this is what my dreams taste like. Like Heaven, floating on a cloud, so light n airy with enough sweetness but not rich and sickening. Yes, my Heaven resembles something like Candy Land.

I've tried a few variations at Snopo and I must say that simple is best. I found the magic formula of mango pure snowy with just tapioca and wafer sticks. It's refreshing, has texture, and is sweet from the chocolate wafers. That's all you need. It won't make you thirsty either. I'd skip the snowy snowy princess or the romantic snowys... They're just crowded with junk and look like a pile of mess. Actually you might want to get the romantic snowy. Maybe it works? The guy and girl behind the counter have matching hickies. Add a scarf to your uniform Snopo!

Snopo is not the prettiest dessert. It looks like an ice monster, sometimes a pile of doo, and frankly if you've never had it before you will say, "WHAT IS THAT?" But it's good. Trust me. Good in the way where the most hideous treat is loved by elementary school children. In other words, it's a pile of fun.

I got in trouble for bringing my crew over to the "bad side of town". Hey, if you want to do barbeque, then you gotta do it right. Apparently, the hotel complimentary shuttle won't even bring you to Gates even if it is just a mile away. Sure the preferred choice would have been Jack Stack since it is a little nicer and in the Plaza but if you ask a bunch of locals, they will say Gates all the way.

We arrived to the yelling of "HI, MAY I HELP YOU?!" It wasn't alarming as we were warned this is how they do things. Of course we had no idea what to order but the ladies behind the counter were extremely helpful and friendly. They also had a great sense of humor and we were both laughing during the ordering process. It was pretty late (almost 9 PM) when we arrived. Gates was out of beer and no more yam pies but that didn't stop us from doing some damage. Our table was filled with burnt ends sandwiches, a platter of ribs, burnt ends, and sliced beef, 2 pounds of sliced beef, a giant vat of bar-b-q beans, bread, fries, and salad. I still feel like I ingested a whole cow.

The barbeque was so tender and even without the sauce, there was so much flavor in it. It wasn't dry but to have that extra kick I do recommend one of their three barbeque sauces from sweet and mild to spicy. I was full but I kept on eating. It was just too good.

Gates Bar-B-Q is family owned and it sure feels that way. The restaurant is sort of a dive and fast food oriented but it still felt homey almost as if you are at a family party. The staff comes over to chat and check on how you are doing. Just make yourself at home and sink into your barbeque. I guarantee you will be wishing you wore your fat pants.

...Loosens the belt a notch.

If you're like me and occasionally tend to think business travel tends to lose its novelty and can get a little depressing, request for a room on one of the higher floors with a view of the Plaza at the Kansas City Marriott Country Club Plaza. During the holidays, the Plaza is decked out in lights and you will feel like you are staring down at Disneyland (the happiest place on Earth) rather than flat land Missouri.

This is a decent hotel but nothing to come back running for. In other words, it does not have my loyalty. The hair dryer is practically powerless and the hallway carpet had a stench like damp laundry on the verge of dirty diapers. My complimentary high speed internet did not work on my iPod Touch. This did not bother me so much as there were computer workstations in the lobby free of charge. Other than that, the hotel meets basic needs and is actually quite pretty.

We had breakfast in the restaurant on the second floor. On most days it is a buffet, complete with a Belgian waffle maker, but on days when the hotel is not busy, the buffet is removed and everyone is to just order off of the menu. Service is good and there is a complimentary shuttle service to/from the Plaza. The bar is decent for drinks and mornings are met with Starbucks coffee. In short, you will have good nights and good mornings for what you pay for ($116/night).

Hotel Kursaal Ausonia is in close proximity to the train station Santa Maria Novella and the Duomo. How close? About a 6 minute walk to the train station and a 10 min walk to the church. This is good just in case you want to take a day trip to a nearby town/city/village or need to be near the shopping district and pretty much everything. There is also a grocery store down the street as well as numerous restaurants and a local pub frequented by most of the young people in town.

The hotel itself is very nice and serves any need you have. The room is spacious as far as European standards go. The bathroom is updated and modern. However, the in-house hair dryer is terrible. It gives off less heat than a hand dryer. Bring your own if you don't air dry your hair. Also, there is a string in the shower. Do not pull this string unless you have an emergency. I found this out when the front desk called my room to ask if I was okay. Oops.

Hotel Kursaal Ausonia is set up like a house. You can wander the halls and sit in the living room as if it were your own. Complimentary breakfast of coffee, croissant, juice, and ham is provided each morning. There is an extensive library of guidebooks for Italy and nearby countries available to read. I spent practically every night going through the books to properly plan my days.

The front desk staff is extremely helpful and nice. They answered all my questions, gave me advice, and googled places when I needed directions and addresses. I highly recommend this hotel.

-There is a Florence city tax that is collected. 3 Euro per person per day.