Jayd "Jayd Lovely" L.'s Profile

unPHOgettable is quite PHOnomenal
For being Asian, service is remarkable
Get filled up for less than ga$ in your abdominal
No MSG, no trans-fat makes it responsible

Summer rolls and pork taste so verrry nice
Add some Sriracha and chili for that extra spice
Oh! Love me long time, I need more rice!
If ya don't have yellow fever, you'll be enticed

Even my round-eye BF began to slant
Clapping his hands in a chant
Tried ordering more, though his pants can't
Calm down cracker, no need to take a chance
On a food coma, me want some late night romance

Being Vietnamese, I'm keeping it PHO-real
Eat here for an authentic PHO-bulous meal
Situated next to an Asian market
For that trustworthy PHO-king feel

PHO-shizzle, PHO-sho, this ain't no faux-Pho

Your service SUCKS and is s-l-o-w
Why don't you drink a cup of Joe?
Or just do a line of blow?

To help with the logistics
Preparation of bagels should be quite simplistic
Or maybe I'm being too realistic?

Good thing your "breakfast bagel" is delicious!
Employees snicker, "Oh she was merely being capricious."
Add some bacon for THE meal that's most nutritious

Surprisingly, your coffee was pretty strong
I really don't want to complain for too long
Wish this was a more upbeat song

So hopefully you'll get your sh*t together
All doubts gone forever
CZ' I really am about to sever
And say never, ever, ever
Be stuck going to Einstein's even though your bagels are better

OooO, baby, you treat me so well
Givin' me that sloppy, juicy kind of nail
Makin' me scream and yell

Oh! Turkey Sloppy Joe!
You're my favorite type of Hoe
Even my friends can't say no

To your perfect, round tan buns
Hide yo underage girls and sons
CZ "Joey" is far from being a Nun

Taste so good with that poblano
But could be much spicier down low
The type of caliente that makes you say, "Whoa"

I think I'm in love with you
And your turkey spew
Dripping on my tattoo

James, our server, was the best
Certified Food Digest
Was very attentive to his guests

Room décor was warm and dark
Seasonally inspired is their trademark
Diet-friendly restaurant for you to bookmark

Blackened Fish Tacos were racy
As in spicy-not hussy like Ms. Lacey
Chipotle cream was hard-hitting like Dick Tracy

Had a slurp of buffalo chili
Bona fide good, if only I had a Willy
Portions are healthy, not large and silly

Dessert sampler was flavorful and dreamy
Mocha Macchiato was caramel and creamy
Mmmm Mmmm-Smile so big, it's gleamy

Lunch menu less than 475 calories
Price points easy on your salary
Entrees change as often as Facebook galleries

Will have to come back for some more
Trying new things is never a bore
Especially if it helps my washboard

Sat in the new bar and had me some rum
Flight and vanilla mojito was mighty yum, yum!
As it raged down my throat and warmed my tum, tum
Made my body go numb, pervert hands now rubbing
my baby's booty bum...

Ordered the appletin rum, sea scallops next
Definitely THE BEST, in the Southwest! With a spicy kick of zest!
The crispy mango fish rolls, which were only so-so
Still craving dem scallops-give me some mo! Give me some mo!

Curry chicken with dumplings was my main meal
Texture is dense if you like that type of appeal
Comfort that'll make ya re-invent the wigga-wigga-wheel
And kick off your hood rat heels!

Boyfriend ordered the jerk chicken off da grill
Finger-licking the last of his meal
Damn, can I get a bite or do I have to steal?
Prices, not too bad of a deal
This rum has got me coping a feel!

Leaving room for some dessert
The Blue Mountain Coffee has got me on full alert
Man looking so good, got a girl doing the slurp, slurp
He's trying not to get hurt,
As he reaches for the sweet
Love'n, potato pudd'n

Overall, Breadfruit was the bomb
Felt like I was in Jamaica, passing that bong :)

Damn Lucky Strike Lanes
Had me insane in the membrane
Downing Patron, tasted like propane
Dancing like I got an ankle sprain

Live DJ spinning
21 and over winning
Neon, glowing balls pinning
Munchie menu for the feigning

Great place to par-tay
Don't be tardy
If you want to be a smarty
Cz the crowds be mighty hearty

Sexy, urban-lounge atmosphere
Can't talk dirty in my BF's ear
Music and vibe is loud and clear
Tis okay cz his lips are near

I love nights like these
Where waitstaff is eager to please
Naughty intentions are here to seize
Like laugh, drink, or get a hickey

Time to bowl and kid it up
Let loose and cut it up
Or dance and fire it up

Adults only playground
After 7pm, no kids are found
Get ready to chow down
And clown around

Tequila Influenced Gutter balls and I'm out ;)

Or referred to as "LGO" for short was where I ate lunch on Thursday. Bringing my laptop as my date, I took advantage of their free Wi-Fi service to create some clever rap review, but hit a road block. NOTHING rhymes with "orange!" Sure, I could've came up with something more clever, but I found myself easily distracted with this new tidbit and had to share it! :)

Okay, okay...now back to LGO. I grabbed a fresh smoked salmon chopped salad ($8.25), which had bits of asparagus, sunflower seeds, couscous, tomatoes, craisens, and a side of champagne vinegerette dressing on a bed of romaine lettuce. Not being a fan of the dressing, I was more impressed with the generous amount of fresh smoked salmon, which was delivered at the right temperature mixed with the fun texture of couscous. Adding a bottle of water, it was the perfect and delicate lunch to balance the heavy, 98 degree weather. The portions at LGO don't look large, but they always fill me up. Maybe it has to do with the backdrop of super attractive, earthy, trendy looking people in sunglasses, chic capris, yoga wear, and sandals that keep my appetite in check? Either way, LGO is a great place to grab breakfast, lunch, or dinner with their casual menu. I'm slowly becoming a fan of their pizza as I'm getting use to the taste of sourdough crust, but love, love, love their array of freshly baked pastries, muffins, cookies, cakes, etc. Many slices of heaven await my eager and grubby hands as I fog up the glass case, while admiring their perfection. The price points are a tad high, but considering they use fresh ingredients and bake in-house, it's quite reasonable. When the weather is cooler, the patio is a great place to seat and catch up with friends. A lot of bikes are usually parked along the brick wall, adding a bit more flair and color to the place. The music is always on point with an eclectic mix of Jay-Z, Kings of Leon, indie pop, or electro-often making me want to bottle pop from their large selections of wine. Not only do they carry an array of vino from the floor to the ceiling, they also have a classic candy isle with modern day pricing, pet and kiddy goods and treats, a coffee bar (not a fan of it personally) and lots of other unique trinkets and gift items to browse through while you wait to order.

Which now brings me to the only 2 things I dislike about LGO: The California-like traffic in their parking lot and grocery store/restaurant/pizzeria/coffee bar and...that nasty coffee. If you come during rush hour, you should expect to fight for a parking spot or be cautious of someone backing out (hopefully, not into you), and those randoms (don't assume they're  all Asian :P) driving the wrong way. If you survive that, you'll be entering into a mess of people browsing up at the menu, with those that are annoyed because they know what they want, with the "regulars" who are actually in "line" to order, to the people frozen in place looking at the pastries, in-between the "pick up" area where people are actually picking up their orders, standing next to those who are still waiting to pick up their order, while getting in the way of the people in line at the coffee bar who just want to order their damn coffee and OJ, and the rest are now just trying to grab their silverware and napkins to eat. Just remember to breath...and breath. Kundalini. Some how, some way, you do end up with a seat somewhere and actually enjoying your meal. Otherwise, come in at an off beat time where the place is yours for the taking :) As for their coffee...have ordered it 3 different times and still hate it. They rank 2nd to Pita Jungle when it comes to the worse coffee I've ever ordered, which is too bad since the open air ambiance would perfectly compliment a great cup of Joe.

The best damn coffee in the desert!
This is a shout and an alert!
Located in the comfort

Of small town Prescott
Who would've thought?
Where red eyes include 3 shots

Got me acting like a crackpot
Baby, youzzz a sexpot
With your caffeine bullshot

Got me all in love, ready to put on a glove
So the neighbors can hear from up above
How orgasmic your taste be
All up in my belly

You go down so smoothly
Better than Bailey
Make a girl wanna drive here daily
All giggly eyed and glossy
Like a stalker/groupie

Please move to Phoenix
I'll set you up with a prefix
Support you and all your kids
No need to work, I'll take care of the biz

Cuz you got it like that
Lookin' all good from the porch and the back
A charming place to chitchat
About this and that

Not to mention, home-baked goodies
Muffins, scones, and cookies
Everything about you is a beauty

I love you more than Starbucks
And even Lux
Awww-shucks!

*Sigh*

I can hardly believe it, but I finally ate at Pizzeria Bianco, one of America's most famous and highly rated pizzerias.

After 5 different and failed attempts to try a slice of Oprah's favorite pizza, I contemplated a plan to get in by calling on behalf of a cancer stricken girl with only a month to live and one dream: To eat at Pizzeria Bianco.

Instead, I took someone's advice and made sure I got there early on a Friday night. And when I say early, I mean not early enough because at 3:45pm, there were already 50 people ahead of me. Estimated wait time? 2 hours!!! And did I mention I got there at 3:45pm and his doors don't even open until 5pm?

2.5 hours later...to be exact, I was seated. Browsing through the simple menu, I decided to start with the Spiedini. The Italian Fontina cheese wrapped in Prosciutti was a little too rich for me. As for the pizzas-did you catch the plural? I decided to order all 6, yes 6 of the listed pizzas.

I figured the chances of me waiting another 3 hours to get into Pizzeria Bianco were slim to none so I better order all of them and get it done! Efficiently, with the help of my BF, we finished 4.5 26" pizzas out of the 6 pizzas in one seating (the Margherita, Marinara, Rosa, Sonny Boy, Biancoverde, and Wise Guy). Told you I could throw down :) The tables beside us were either disgusted or shocked. Out of the 6, my favorite was the Marinara pizza. It stole my heart with its boastful, yet simple flavors of just 3 ingredients-tomato, garlic and oregano. The Rosa was my least favorite because of the overwhelming amount of onions. Being a meat lover, I was disappointed with the protein shakes...I mean pizzas. They were Hoover-daming and drenched with oil. Not sure if they're always like that or if it was just our order? I prefer my pizzas to be moist, not drenched.

Overall, Pizzeria Bianco has amazing dough and tasty pizzas. I don't think it lives up to its hype taking into consideration the ridiculous wait time and my hunger pangs. But it IS an experience-to be able to try such a famous restaurant located in our own backyard. I'd return...as long as someone else stands in line. I've already taken one for the team.

The Vig Uptown
Is the place to get down
A future renown

Ladies be lookin' fine
With plunging necklines
Watch out! There goes a march of dimes!

Sundays, 1/2 priced bottles of wine
Retro, modern, spacious design
Tasty pretzel buns n' brew combined
Are simply divine

Didn't like the crabmeat and artichoke dip
Flavor was out-stripped
By competing with the spicy pita chips

Will be back to try more
After all, there's a new menu to explore
And plenty more beer to pour
Hope I don't pass out on the floor

A great place to flirt
To hear the latest dirt
In the women's restroom
"Who's dating whom?"
"Did you hear what happened to the groom?"
"Excuse me Ms, what's that perfume?"

I'll be stopping by soon
To enjoy an afternoon
With an orange slice in my Blue Moon
On a Sunday before June