Orin Z.'s Profile

It's pretty frickin' bizarre that this has such a low rating. The food isn't the bloody Ritz, but it seems some people think it sucks that this place hasn't changed in 20 years. To me the aging but well-maintained bizarre little retro details are a plus. In SF, one can get a little spoiled as far as old restaurants that are still in business. To describe it to someone out of town, you'd have to say "it's like Denny's, if Denny's were actually what Denny's pretends to be. Also, it doesn't suck. But it is 24 hours and not much else is."

The food is quite decent considering all that extenuating evidence. Matter of fact, I strongly recommend their side dishes.

Quite busy at lunchtime, and not that much seating, but still quite a prompt turnaround to get your food. The windows facing the street are fully of pretty people, or pretty interesting people. The gyros ain't half bad, neither. And the fries, well, I didn't even know the Greeks could make 'em like this. All around, not a bad lunch choice at all.

Why do I always have to *describe* things? Why is it never enough to say "they have incredible sandwiches and are very friendly, I recommend the 174 if you like spicy roast beef?" Can't I just let simple pleasures be just that, simple? Couldn't I just admire the classic rock and the paintings by local artists and the little slice of civilization moored in the sea of hobos that smell very badly? I wish I could. I wish things were simple like that.

Kind of a test, this was. See, I hate Chicken Noodle Soup. Despise't. Comes from when I was a kid and was sick then got food poisoning from some damned soup-for-the-soul. That'll knock you off that habit early.

Anypuke, I figured that--since one of a primary objectives here in early 21st century western America is to experience novelty--I might give the old saw a little whine. Pho Ga, #9, seems to be the default get-it-while-it-lasts order of choice. I was skeptical at first... all these years later and still, the chicken bits make me see green... but through persistence of will and refined noodle-trapping skills, I have to say... we have a winner.

If you, like I, must overcome a debilitating Chicken Noodle Soup revulsion, I can strongly recommend Turtle Tower. You can thank me in advance.

(four stars on account that--hey, this is soup we're talking here, not Chicken  la King  la Mode)

Oh, I liked it while I was there. Good sandwich for the money... it's hard to beat $2.50, after all. I was ready to give it four stars--decent place.

Then I pooped green.

And this isn't just "hmm, I paid only $2.50 for a sandwich earlier today and then I had some questionable fecum." This is "oh my god, it doesn't smell like poop, it smells like sandwich... it looks like FOREST GREEN sandwich innards... I just crapped sandwich."

The novelty-seeking part of me wants to give 'em a 5 simply for that color. Amazing, really. Every other part of me... doesn't.

The best burger in Hayes Velley; the worst music in the world. Almost 5 stars, and the garlic fries are excellent, too... but just so you know, there IS a camera on the second floor in case you and the other patrons are conspiring to mute KOIT. "Lite Rawk, Less Talk!" Kee-rhist. That's a 1-starrer. I comprimise on account of the fact that I understand some people might like hearing the early nineties hit "Beauty and the Beast" by Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson while trying to digest.

Eat good burger plug ear-holes.

Hmm... you are difficult to read.

On the one hand you make one mean burrito. Not many stock poblano, and even fewer stock cactus. Your Azteca burrito is awe-inspiring, like a Super burrito but edible by fork only. Spinach tortilla? Praise.

But... no, I'm just *asking* about the cactus burrito, I don't want to... no, no, poblano... ok, well I see now that you just dumped the burrito I wanted. I guess it's loud in here. This mixup does not bode well for your future.

Difficult. Three, or four?  One lost burrito does not a bad restaurant make. I'd edge on the side of caution, seeing as how the only reason I rejected this cactus I see out-of-hand is that it looked like week-old Chinese leftovers--soggy and faded. These are not good signs for your future.

These are not things that are, but things that might be... for you, at least.

Don't ever change, Warm Water. Oops, too late. That's what we get for allowing one woman walking her dog to become "uncomfortable" with all the "defacement" in a public "park." Ceci n'est pas un park.

Here's an idea, Random Whiner Who Caused This Place to be Whitewashed: if you want to move into a yuppie dorm (that was built by exploiting a legal loophole originally created to give artists live/work spaces) please expect that converting portions of an INDUSTRIAL district will necessarily leave *some places* not well-suited for Ikea merchandise. Some of those places have been around for a long time and give the neighborhood a certain feel, and their unique existence is largely an accident.  A lot of people enjoy these rarities, while not too many people enjoy fewer parking spaces or forgotten dog feces or ridiculous noise complaints from people who moved into an INDUSTRIAL district (which is what you bring to the table). Simply an observation: YOU are the trespasser, while the true owners are the people who spraypainted this derelict patch of waterfront land. Perhaps the reason you're uncomfortable is that you don't belong.

Should you choose to complain about Warmwater, save yourself the trouble and just skip to the part where you move away... douchebags.

What wonderful food and service, worthy of five stars!

What a small, noisy space, befitting one. Settle in the middle.

Recommended for un-busy times, like weekdays. Not so much if you want to go there on a Saturday night. My elbows got flashbacks to less-than-preferred airplane seating. Not anyone's fault, just... damn. Between that and the family reunion happening two feet away, I'll take my *fantastic* Spinach Gnocchi in Tomato Sauce to-go next time, gratzi.

Top three reasons to enjoy the Swap:

1) GOOD RIDDANCE. I've brought in bags of clothes I wore in high school, pants from Old Navy and shirts two sizes too big, weird belts that make me wanna dress up like I did when I was 8, books like "The Return of the Jedi" in its original novelization, whole bags worth of thrift store finds that I really don't even think Salvation Army can appreciate (or wants, necessarily). But that's the point! What's not wanted by the lucust-like swarms becomes wanted again, by folks who could hopefully use them more than us, the more fashion-conscious. It's okay to be a style-whore--it's for a good cause. SwapSF is the highest level of the used clothing food chain; eventually my baggy Old Navy cargo pants will be sold by the pound (cause they're awful), end up somewhere in Africa, and be greatly appreciated by someone who'd otherwise be wearing goat-skins in 120 weather.

2) FREE SHIT. Seriously, no, free. Although I bring in a lotta junk, I take out a LOT MORE stuff that I totally want. Sure, trying things on can be problematic. Not exactly a changing room amongst the hordes, so often stuff just doesn't fit once at home... but hey, it gets brought back to the next swap. It happens. But the whole point is that all these clothes are new, and practically free. New to ME... old to some other poor sucker who gave 'em up.

3) CUTIES. Packed to the rafters with young, attractive people, many in various states of undress and dishevelment, sometimes randomly prompting for fashion advice, and often imbibing various liquors and lollipops of questionable constitution. Guess what? You too can be amongst them.