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"You guys want some Iron Maiden? Just kidding, we're an AC/DC cover band."
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- 119 Reviews
- 6 Review Updates
- 33 Firsts
- 37 Fans
- 2 Local Photos
- 4 Events Submitted
- 9 Lists
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Rating Distribution
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Review votes:
687 Useful, 2042 Funny, and 882 Cool
New York, NY
Yelping SinceMarch 2007
Things I Love Find Me Inclose proximity to various locations from You've Got Mail
My HometownHereford, Texas
My Blog Or Website When I'm Not Yelping...I'm _really_ offensive.
Why You Should Read My ReviewsI'd never quit you, Yelp.
My Second Favorite Website The Last Great Book I ReadKilling Yourself to Live: 85 percent of a true story
My First ConcertAerosmith in the un-air conditioned Lubbock Municipal Coliseum
My Favorite MovieThe Big Lebowski
My Last Meal On Earthdust
Don't Tell Anyone Else But...I know what you did last summer.
Most Recent Discoverygetting off at the right subway stop.
Current Crushyou do not want to be here.
DateNew York, NY 10024
(646) 747-8770
Shake Shack
Categories: Fast Food, Burgers, Hot Dogs
Neighborhood: Upper West Side
New York, NY 10024
(212) 579-7246
Duane Reade
Category: Drugstores
Neighborhood: Upper West Side
I called my parents once from Lala's while enjoying many frosty cold beers. That's how they answered the phone.
"Yellow Polka Dot Bikini!"
Excuse me?
"Is this Shirley?"
This is your son. Your only son.
"Oh, we thought you were Shirley."
That still doesn't explain why you answered the phone 'Yellow Polka Dot Bikini'.
"Well, we like to call Shirley when we've solved the puzzle on Wheel of Fortune. We thought you were her."
Do we have to turn into our parents?
New York, NY 10023
(212) 712-9800
Crumbs
Categories: Bakeries, Desserts
Neighborhood: Upper West Side
Me: so, kelly just pointed out a hotel and listed off some of the people who have stayed there over the years. i'm going to list them and you tell me how many you've heard of
Dad: OK
Me: Joni Mitchell
Dad: no
Me: Bob Dylan
Dad: no
Me: Alice Cooper
Dad: no
Me: Jimi Hendrix
Dad: no
Me: i win
Help me.
New York, NY 10016
(212) 725-1420
Cafe Charlie
Category: Delis
Neighborhoods: Murray Hill, Midtown East
4 Previous Reviews: Hide »
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1/2/2009
Avoiding you is my 2009 Resolution.
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12/2/2008
It's been 12 days, Cafe Charlie. Twelve days since I ended our relationship.
In that time, I reckon I have cost you somewhere between $26.25 and $29.75. But, specifics were never your strong suit.
I'm seeing someone else for breakfast now. I thought you should know. And I've traded lowfat blueberry muffins and Sweet Leaf Tea for a banana and oatmeal. It's healthier and always the same price. Just like I always wanted you to be.
It's for the best. -
11/20/2008
So, you're running an unremarkable business with no pricetags and with no barcode scanners. And when a very regular customer provides you with credit card statements to show you that you charge differing amounts for the same thing. You accuse him of not always buying the same thing.
MY WHOLE POINT IN SHOPPING HERE IS BUYING SWEET LEAF TEA. THAT'S ALL I BUY.
Look, I can get my Sweet Leaf Tea addiction satisfied elsewhere. A place where, confronted with cold, hard evidence, can admit when they're wrong.
I mean, seriously, how hard is it to say, "oops. i gave you 50 cents off a couple times."
No biggie. At least it wouldn't have been.
Bye, Cafe Charlie. It might not be much, but my $4.25 (sometimes $3.75) a day are going elsewhere.
Have fun. -
11/19/2008
I must average grabbing breakfast here four and a half mornings a week.
Every morning, I get the same thing: A lowfat blueberry muffin and a Sweet Leaf Tea.
Every morning I go through the same checkout.
And every morning, it's always exactly $4.25. Except for those mornings when it's exactly $3.75. Which happens exactly one-third of the time.
Last night, I had a come to Jesus with my finances. They told me to fuck off.
Granted, there are no price tags on any of the drinks. So, when this morning was a $4.25 morning, I asked, "why is it $4.25 some mornings and $3.75 other mornings?"
"It's always $4.25."
So, I'm a liar? Is that it, Cafe Charlie? Is that what you're saying? I'm a liar?
Now, I don't know what it's like where you're from. But where I'm from, you call someone a liar and they meet you at high noon down at the corral. There's a three count. Pistols get drawn. Someone gets a ride in a pine box up to Old Boot Hill.
"I can bring my credit card statement in and show you."
"You bring your credit card statement in and show me."
Printed with account numbers and balances blacked out. Let's see what you have to say tomorrow morning, Cafe Charlie.
New York, NY 10024
(212) 724-2282
Cava Wine Bar
Categories: Wine Bars, Tapas Bars
Neighborhood: Upper West Side
So, clearly I got dragged to Cava against my will.
I've been back of my own volition 6 or 7 times. I can think of no higher praise.
The first time we walked in, my captor asked the guy behind the bar for a recommendation. I prepared for a $40 glass.
Instead, something surprising happened. He recommended something cheap. It was actually good.
Ernie is my favorite bartender in town. The prices are great. The food is surprising.
Liking a wine bar has totally rocked my worldview. Words escape me.
New York, NY 10024
(212) 721-2818
Essentials Plus
Categories: Drugstores, Toy Stores, Convenience Stores
Neighborhood: Upper West Side
New York, NY 10009
(212) 673-8908
Marfa
Category: Gastropubs
Neighborhood: East Village
They have Lone Star and Tito's Handmade Vodka.
Clearly, I have to say no more.
-Colby B.
New York, NY 10016
(212) 689-1245
Chipotle Mexican Grill
Category: Mexican
Neighborhood: Murray Hill
9 Lists
Part One - May 15, 2009
It was standing in line at Shake Shack when I finally determined there was no chance that I am the Incredible Hulk.
Because if you can stand there while a total stranger walks up to you (and I swear to God this happened) and says, "Yeah. It's a single Shack burger. It's pretty good. You'll get one in 20 minutes or so." And not turn green and beat the shit out of said dooshbag, your anger is never going to cause you to turn green and go on a rampage.
I seriously should have pushed that fuck knuckle down the stairs so he could wear his single Shack burger.