Lauren "the CRABITAT" C.'s Profile

I've only enjoyed via delivery. Most consistent of the Upper West Side places I've frequented for delivery, as Alachi Masala has been great and/or pretty awful alternately, I was in search of another standby when I didn't feel like chancing it.

Would have liked everything a tad spicier and more complex.

Bouncers at Pacha beat my brother's friend (who is a cop, nonetheless) on his way out of the club so badly that he required substantial plastic surgery to reconstruct parts of his cheek bone and eye area.  Worth it? No. Stay away.

I cannot believe that I am giving a place 5 stars where I paid 5 dollars for a small cone of gelato. But the gelato is seriously THAT GOOD that I did not even hesitate.  

My cone had two little scoops - one of the Crema di Grom which was egg cream flavored with ecuadorean chocolate chips and bits of meliga biscuits and one which was dark chocolate flavored. Holy shit.  It was so rich and so creamy. I'm not sure I could have stomached more than a small scoop, but if you put it in front of me, I might just eat myself into a gelato coma.

As a disclaimer, I hadn't eaten gelato since 1998 when I was last in Italy.  I believe I tried a spoon full of a friend's from a notoriously good gelato joint in Jersey, but it was so disappointing I swore that I wouldn't taint the memory of the amazing Italian gelato with any more shitty American versions.  

Grom is an Italian chain, and it shows.  Great for a summer day date, or to enjoy during one of the many Upper West Side festivals.  Such a great find!

Disclosure: I hate clubs and most of those who frequent them.  Call me judgey pants all you want - but I am a total hater. The music, the scene, the price.... UGH. The Park had the bad music down.  The scene wasn't nearly as bad as most clubs, especially in the immediate area.  The crowd was slightly more casual than those at the neighboring clubs as well, though there was still a serious faction of girls wearing what I must assume were shirts and not actually dresses.  If I can see your birth canal when you bend over, it's definitely too short.

Here's the deal with The Park. Expensive drinks (which I have to admit were at least strong as hell) and average food.  Terrible service in the restaurant area. Mixed crowd as far as age/style for both the restaurant diners and the late nighters. No cover, though.

The selling point of this place was the lounge area, which is dotted with large trees, a high glass/open ceiling, stone benches and cute outdoorsy furniture. Though you can't smoke there, despite the fact that you are TECHNICALLY outside. That was my favorite spot by far. The indoor areas were about 1000 degrees and the upstairs was packed and loooooud. I believe it's uncovered in decent weather, though with this summer, who remembers what that's like?

Like I said, total hater.

I did really enjoy sitting underneath the trees with some distance between me and the grinding/making out faction. Did I enjoy it enough to go back? No.  Neither the restaurant nor the late night faction was all that impressive. Skippable fo' sheez.

If you've just stumbled out of a club full of guidos, B&Ters and otherwise unsavory folk to hang out with and need a place to grab a strong, inventive cocktail where you can hear your own thoughts and not have your ass groped - this is the perfect escape.

Plush couches galore. Especially love the grapefruit martini. Always pretty dead during the winter months, but tends to get a decent steady trickle from the clubs around the corner when it's warm and people are wandering about.  Nice alternative in the area.

Literally 15 seats and a counter.  Good thing there are plenty of parks and benches nearby to counter my inability to stand/walk while eating without making a big ol' mess of myself.  AWESOME deals on dumplings.  Everyone else has posted the price, so I'll refrain. The pork and chive were the best by far.  I definitely want to go back and get the frozen bag.

Stick with the dumplings.  My friend got cold sesame noodles and ended up throwing them out after three bites saying they tasted "gray." Hmm.

When you're lacking in creativity and need a place to sit and enjoy a good sammich, Columbus Gourmet is just what you're looking for.  Friendly counter staff.  Good variety of sodas you love but can't find at most other neighborhood places. Cheap and clean.  Never a bad bet for a quick bite.

Great lunch special.  Two slices and a can of soda for 5 dollars.  Their plain slices have garlic baked into the crispy thinner than usual crust, which is a nice change of pace for your pizza weary taste buds.

Quick.  Cheap.  Good, reliable standby. Perfect for that day when you don't have alot of time or patience.  They have a few tables if you'd prefer to dine in, which rarely are occupied, but will have your slices to go for you faster than you can count your change and grab your can of soda.

In the sea of average yet overpriced restaurants surrounding it, Kefi stands out as both reasonable and delicious.  Wait... great food? At reasonable prices?  On the Upper West Side? Yes. I shit you not.

Reservations are definitely recommended. There's a reason why Kefi is 10x busier than anything else in the immediate vicinity.  It boasts a comfy casual atmosphere on two expansive levels.  Yet despite the relatively large size of the seating areas, there wasn't a free table in sight.  The upstairs is host to bright lighting and long bench tables, while downstairs is stone covered and dimmer with small and large tables shoved in every possible place. Overall, the vibe is light and fun.  

Starting with the selection of spreads was a good call.  Something for everyone's tastes. Nice light start to a flavorful meal.  I had the sheep's milk dumplings which had some nice heat and a delicious light tangy tomato sauce to balance the delicately creamy dumplings.  Yummm.  The next night, I struggled not to go back there and get the exact same thing.  It haunted my dreams it was so good.

Loved the greek sangria too.  Strrrrong.  Yet I champed my way through two of them without much hesitation.  The basil-lemonade combination my roommate had was great too.  Perfect drinks for summer.

I can see myself returning for another casual meal with friends without hesitation.  Loud, fun, affordable and delicious.  Can't go wrong with that. Good for groups.

Docked one star because of how crammed the tables were and the inconsistent service.

Great diner.  Enormous menu thats characteristic of most New York diners.

French fries, you are my arch nemesis.  There are so many fantastic healthy choices (seriously) and yet I end up getting you because you are so sexy.  I tip my hat at you too, home fries.