John L.'s Profile

A patty melt must have four ingredients or it isn't a true p-melt:  rye bread, onions, swiss cheese, and, of course, a hamburger patty.  Additions to this recipe are acceptable.  Alterations are not.

J's Cafe makes an awesome patty melt, the likes of which I haven't seen since Georgianne's shut down, got torn down, and made way for a Starbucks/Noahs/Jamba Juice/Una Mas.  J's has the essential ingredients and adds mushrooms and a slice of American cheese to the mix.  You wouldn't think American cheese would add anything to a sandwich that already has Swiss, but it does.

Furthermore, the p-melt is so full of stuff that it can get messy.  I ate mine with a fork.

Don't let its hole-in-the-wall exterior or its hospital-like interior send you packing.  J's is clean and surprisingly odor free given the amount of frying going on.  J's is a long narrow hallway were guests can peer over the sides of a high counter and watch the saga of all things fried play itself out.  The tables are always full at lunch, so I'd recommend showing up close to the end of the noon hour rather than the beginning.  During lunch, expect to wait a bit for your order.

Prices are reasonable.  Vegetarianism is not.  Lacto-Ovos might find a way to get by, but vegans will fall violently ill.

"Hey, we didn't have lunch today!"
"Yes we did."
"What?"
"Joe's Crab Shack."
"Oh yeah, I forgot."

Worst calamari appetizer ever.  The meat was tepid and mealy, the batter was hard, thick, and bland, and the dipping sauce tasted like yesterday's canned spaghetti sauce.  Appetizers are, I believe, a window into a restaurant's soul.  It is their first opportunity to let you know just what you've gotten into by eating there.  In that sense, the Crab Shack did not disappoint.  

The rest of the meal was also bland; in fact, the cole slaw was virtually inedible.  I had a crab cake sandwich that was nothing special.  Despite advertising hordes of crab meat in their cakes, I couldn't tell.  Sure, they were meaty enough, but I have to wonder if maybe they could add just a few more herbs and spices.  Like maybe salt.

My dining companion fared better; she ate the bacon cheeseburger. At Joe's Crab Shack.

Service was barely civil and definitely flaky.  Despite the fact that the table was set for two, and two of us came in together, the server decided to come by my table when my companion was not there to recite the specials and ask for a drink order.  Perhaps I should let it slide.  The servers during my visit were uniformly very young women who all seems a little ill at ease, as though this was their first real job.  Too bad.  

I also suspect that JCS skimps on its customer service training in order to make sure that all of their servers can shake their groove thangs during the impromptu dance numbers.  My lunch was marred by one such number to the tune of Will Smith's "Wild Wild West."

Yes, JCS is that kind of place, where birthday boys and girls are sung to and/or made to humiliate themselves, where the service is expected to provide entertainment in addition to (or instead of?) good service, and where the whole restaurant is involved in this fiasco of entertainment.

JCS is what it is, and for that one star seems appropriate.  I imagine it could be a fun place to go with a large group of rowdy friends in order to get hammered on mixed drinks and participate in drunken one-ups of humiliation.

A few final notes: JCS feels like someone put some restaurant tables in a gift shop at the Santa Cruz Boardwalk.  In addition, lame jokes about crabs doesn't make you look cool, it makes you look desperate.

I have no desire to go back.

Je suis francophile.  That being said, I still think Rolle is worthy of five stars.

This little spot across the street from Sellands is unabashedly francais, from the red checker table cloths to the yellow walls to the Edith Piaf CD on constant rotation (If I have to hear "Milord" one more time I think I'll go crazy).  And M. Rolle himself chatting constantly in French and English and singing along with the music.  As far as I can tell, there are at least two people who work with Rolle as wait-staff and both are also friendly and efficient -- one even remembers my son's name and my son is only six weeks old, mais j'espere qu'il parlera francais.

The lunch menu is an extensive selection of sandwiches and salads, with variations on the venerable croque monsieur, several kinds of pate, and, of course, salmon, the specialty of the house.  The lunch specials tend to involve a salmon sandwich and a croque monsieur with a special ingredient sauce -- watercress or wasabi, for example.

Dessert is usually creme brule, mousse au chocolat, or tarte aux pommes.  The tarte is very good, with the apples resting on a creamy layer of something and a brittle, sweet crust.  But I almost always go for the raspberry creme brule if it is available.  Magnifique!

I've eaten dinner here once, shortly after Rolle introduced a dinner menu, something I don't know if he is doing consistently.  Although a bit pricey for the portion size, it was still a fine meal made better by the chatty waiter and a surprisingly good vigonier.  Rolle has a very limited wine selection, but he won't serve you swill.

I probably should, but I refuse to dock him a point because he tends to close at random times. Sometimes this is because he goes on vacation, but sometimes it is because he has a catering client.  I will not insist that M. Rolle be in two places at once, as annoying as it can be to get myself all worked up for the Stacy's Favorite (roast beef and brie sandwich with caramelized onions), only to find him shut.

Sacramento's selection of French-based cuisine is paper thin.  We need more like Rolle.

I was a member of Alhambra Athletic for almost two years, and only gave up my membership because it was getting hard for me to find the time to go.

The good:

Your membership includes an occasional visit with a trainer (but if you want regular trainer visits, be prepared to pay) who can show you how to use the equipment properly and help you design a workout plan.

They have two weight machine circuits by two different manufacturers. And even during the busiest times there aren't enough people on the machines to slow down your workout, unless you are unwilling to skip a machine and come back to it later.

There are a fair number of cycling and pilates classes.

The pool is rarely crowded and very nice.

Good racquetball courts.

The bad:

Locker rooms need work.  The lockers stick and there never seem to be enough seats to go around.

Don't look in the corners of the ceiling in the mens shower area.  Just don't.  

Not enough basic yoga classes.

Desk staff can actually run out of towels.

Popular equipment is frequently broken and they are slow to repair.

In general, Alhambra is a friendly place to work out.  The crowd trends older so you don't get very many of the "check me out" types or the "I'm checking you out" types.  People are there to work out.  The only conversations you're likely to hear are between people who know each other outside of the gym or who play racquetball together.

It is on the expensive side, but I'm willing to pay a little more for a serious gym that isn't overly crowded than less for one where I have to be self-conscious about the fact that I don't have a six-pack.  You get a small discount if you attend three wellness classes at their facility in Carmichael.  The exercise and nutrition classes aren't great, but it is worth it to do the fitness and body fat testing.

I realize this place is insanely popular, probably because you can get your meat, rice, and sugar sauce without all those pesky vegetables getting in the way, but lets face it, it's a bowl of rice with chicken on top and some teriyaki sauce. Simple, boring, cheap.  Large portion sizes so you do get what you pay for.

The teriyaki sauce is made is bulk and stored in giant buckets.  They pour it over the meat and rice right before they give it to you.

Service is efficient if a tad unfriendly.  Unfortunately, they try to be so fast that, if someone does make a mistake, it can really confuse things.  Word to the wise: always remember your number.  They don't give you a piece of paper, they just tell you what it is.  If they don't, remind them to.  People who forget their numbers can also gum up the works.

I have a slight preference for their noodle bowls, but these do take a little longer to prepare  - don't be surprised when people behind you in line get their meals first.

There's nothing special about Teriyaki To Go but it is inexpensive and filling.

I've eaten here for dinner twice and the atmosphere is pleasant, which makes the red flashing sign all that much more wierd.

The food is excellent and an interesting combination of Mediterranean-inspired flavors.  If you're in a meat mood, try the Osso Bucco with butternut mashed potatoes.

Unfortunately, both times I've eaten here, the kitchen has been slow. Really slow.

Coffee was my muse of fire, ascending to the brightest heavens of invention.

Then my doc said "uh, you might want to cut out the caffeine."

Alas.  Now I drink decaf.  I gave up the jolt, but not the flavor.

Decaf is my pilot light, ascending to the...porch...maybe...

Really, I'd say two and a half stars.  Sizzling Tandoor (the one in Jenner) is a bit of a surprise.  You see it just as you're coming around a curve an just before the bridge over the Russian River outside of Jenner.  There isn't anything else around it, so obviously, they depend on highway traffic.

Ambiance-wise, it almost certainly was a road-side bar or more American style restaurant once upon a time; but step out of the car and you'll get the unmistakable whiff of Indian spices.  The view is terrific and the place does get packed, probably as much because there aren't a lot of choices for Indian food on Highway One.

The food is inconsistent.  I had a lamb vindaloo that was creamy but boring, and the lamb was slightly overcooked.  It was packed with plenty of heat, but I almost felt the heat was there to hide its blandness.  The tandoori chicken, however, was much better.  The meat was tender and juicy, and the spices seemed spot-on, although with a hint of a more American BBQ taste.

The naan was just pizza bread that had been popped into an oven and cooked until parts of it browned.  It was not cooked in oil, it was too thick, and it was too doughy.  It had been spiced with cilantro and something orange, but that couldn't save it.

Service was prompt, efficient, not very friendly, and a little space-y.  Prices were high, but probably reasonable for a small town on the coast. (By comparison, for what I paid for my dish of vindaloo here, I would have received a complete dinner at Pooja in West Sacramento).  Entrees come with Naan.  Everything else is separate.

Two stars is a little too low, but I just can't give Sizzling Tandoor three stars.  Still, if you find yourself in Jenner, it's a good bet for a meal.

Good but not great.  This open and airy place feels just a little too touristy, like most of Old Sacramento, but the food and service are good enough.  Expect to get variations of everything deep fried.

The catfish po'boy was disappointing.  The catfish was deep fried in tasteless breading and the fish itself was a little too metallic -- I expect my catfish to taste like it came from a river bottom, not a sewer pipe.  On the other hand, my side of red beans and rice was tasty.

The fish and chips special was a little better.  Again, the breading was bland, but the fish was excellent (cod, I think).  The cajun fries were soft but not overly spicy.  

Two items stood out: the red beans and rice side dish was excellent and the hush puppies were top notch.  If I go back, I'd be tempted to order a bowl of the first and a plate of the second and call it good.

Service was friendly and efficient.  The overall value is reasonable for a sit-down lunch: sub-ten-dollar entrees.  Two entrees, an appetizer, and a soda set us back about $30 with 20 percent tip.

You see it all the time in movies and on TV.  Some guy in a restaurant goes from table to table playing his violin.  People keep tipping him so he will go away and leave them in peace.  At Cafe Morocco on a Friday night that violin player is a belly dancer and it won't matter how good or bad she is or how close she gets her hips to your face.  You can't help but enjoy your meal.

This place is damned near perfect.  Everything, and I mean everything, is really good.  The chicken sumac and the lamb kabob are among my favorites.  I like to start off my dinner with the mezza #1, which includes falafel, dolmas, humus, baba ganooj, and pita.  That way I won't be able to finish my dinner and I'll be able to take some of it home to savor the next day.

Service is friendly and can be chatty, especially if you're a regular.  Prices are a little high and you're likely to order so many things because so much of it looks good that you're likely to spend a lot of money here.  

The atmosphere is okay.  The restaurant is comfortable but not swanky.  There is frequently middle-eastern pop music playing in the background if there isn't any belly dancing.  The kitchen can be a little slow, but we're too impatient anyway.

Cafe Morocco is a great place to go with a small group of friends if you want to share each other's food and each other's company without feeling like you're trying to impress anyone.