Am I foolish? Do I call her?!?! ...and on VD no doubt?!?! Oh the humanity!

02/14/2007 Skorbo "The Greek" .. says:

Don't call. The things that made it not work the first time are still there. And the Valentine's call is like drunk-dialing. You'll regret it in the morning.

02/14/2007

This post was removed because the yelper who wrote it has closed their Yelp account and is no longer a registered yelper.

02/14/2007 judy w. says:

what? calling an ex after 5 months, ESPECIALLY on V.D.????

mytch - no, don't do it. be strong.

i got a call tonight from this guy i was dating a few months ago and i didnt even answer. he left a msg saying he wanted to take me out. pshaw - calling me ON valentine's day? he was very funny (which is what attracted me to him in the first place), attractive, and h0t even, but i'm not going there.

and as thick of a cloak of self pity i have right now, there is no way i would go out with him. we got along great, but not so much that i would go back and get hurt again.

DON'T DO IT!!!

02/14/2007 G Y. says:

Calling someone today smacks of desperation. Don't be that guy.

02/14/2007 Skorbo "The Greek" .. says:

Case in point, Mytch:

I called a girl tonight that I was dating a few months ago. She didn't answer, so I left a message telling her I wanted to take her out. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm funny (which is how I got her in the first place), attractive and she once called me hot.

But even though she's in self pity mode, there's no way she's go out with me again. We got along great, but I doubt she wants to risk getting hurt again.

Now what the FUCK am I going to do with the dozen red long-stemmed donuts i bought her?

02/14/2007 judy w. says:

hmmm....


*thinking twice about not calling "that guy" back*

02/14/2007 Cidne "The ALPHA BITCH queen" W. says:

Let this be a lesson.  Stay in touch!

02/14/2007 Kyle W. says:

Long-stemmed donuts?  

I like your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter...

02/14/2007

This post was removed because the yelper who wrote it has closed their Yelp account and is no longer a registered yelper.

02/14/2007 J "enny" J. says:

DO NOT CALL- Judy is right. It just smacks of desperation, even if you are not.

Judes, pm with the name of the dude that called you, I think he called me too. It must be an asian fetish thing.

02/14/2007 judy w. says:

hahahahahaa

bleh ;p

02/14/2007 judy w. says:

hungrie.

someone hand feed me a bear paw pls.

02/14/2007 Linda N. says:

still at work Judy?

02/14/2007 Carrie "high and mighty" R. says:

Oh good lord...DON'T call.  If you absolutely must, do it next week.  There's a reason it's been five months.

02/14/2007 Dee d. says:

i think you should call. i'd like to hear how it goes.

02/14/2007 Dee d. says:

clearly, it would make things VERY interesting around these parts.

02/14/2007 Heather "Ginger" R. says:

Don't do it!!!

02/14/2007 Paul F. says:

Mytch, if you call your ex then I have to call mine. Don't make me do that, MAN!

02/14/2007 Dee d. says:

CALL THEM! DO IT!!!

02/14/2007

This post was removed because the yelper who wrote it has violated the Yelp Terms of Service and is no longer a registered yelper.

02/14/2007 Paul F. says:

Mytch first!

02/14/2007 Paul F. says:

Good call Dee, how'd you know I was bluffing? ;)

02/14/2007 Paul F. says:

Good call Dee, how'd you know I was bluffing? ;)

02/14/2007 Dee d. says:

bluffing? damn. i was looking for a good sob story!

02/14/2007 Dee d. says:

you know who i SHOULD call though...the ex who is still on the prowl...he would think...OH MY GOD!!! maybe she doesn't think i'm crazy and i have a chance!!! if he didn't gross me out as much as he does, i would do it for the thread!!!

02/14/2007 Paul F. says:

I have those! There was this one girl...JK! harr harr gotcha!

02/14/2007

This post was removed because the yelper who wrote it has closed their Yelp account and is no longer a registered yelper.

02/14/2007 Lisa H. says:

O.K.  this is what I do if I'm in the same type of situation...  I write a list of all of the things that I loved about the person and all of the things that I didn't love...  In this way I can remember the good and the bad... because we tend to forget the bad sometimes when time passes or when we're feeling sentimental or lonely.

02/14/2007 Paul F. says:

thanks Lisa...I just called her.




NOT!

02/14/2007 Ali W. says:

Hi Mytch,
I don't know you but I saw this and felt I had to say my peace for your own greater good.  Don't do it! I echo sentiments of everyone above (except Dee :) ).  Its worse than a drunk dial today.  You'd feel like algae after calling, trust me.  Its like the little devil on your shoulder making up some song and dance about how great it/she was, when it really wasn't!  Whenever I get in the place of considering things I shouldn't, I think about the most angry I ever was at that person and why, and that's a solid cure.  Or you can write it down like Lisa said.  Yeah!

02/14/2007 Lisa H. says:

Oh yeah... I'd write the list and then give it a couple of days... if I still feel like calling...  Feelings can be fleeting...

02/15/2007 Ryan B. says:

Just leave her a message telling her you got a test back and need to talk.  That way she'll definitely return your call.

02/15/2007

This post was removed because the yelper who wrote it has closed their Yelp account and is no longer a registered yelper.

02/15/2007 Marisa F. says:

well? Mytch- did you call?

02/15/2007 Aaron "I'm Roman so I speak Latin" R. says:

Oh lord... please please please no!!!

02/15/2007 Mytch P. says:

And now, it's time for the reveal... (I'm  a "great" story teller... maybe I'll make a VH-1 show one day...)

On my walk home from (hazaaah, I can walk to/from work now, since I've moved,) I was contemplating this call. And for you, my closest confidant-Yelpers, I've been waxing and waning on calling her for low these many months, 2 to be exact; and decided to place an intervention call to a friend. I asked for a reason not to call her. The question I received back was, "Why shouldn't you call her? Life is short. If that's what you want to do, why not?"

So I thought, I can make the call, and put "it" out there (no, not "that"-you dirty minded Yelpers.) I mean just letting the ex- know that I was thinking of her. Yet, I'm no fool, and I'm FAR from desperate. I simply wanted her to know that I was indeed thinking of her, and I still want to know she's doing okay, and she is well.

So yes, dear Yelpers, I called. I left a message on her home VM. I don't regret calling. I'm glad I did it. And she now knows that I was thinking of her. Repercussions be damned.

Happy VD to you all. And thanks for the words of encouragement and warning.

02/15/2007 Skorbo "The Greek" .. says:

We did everything we could to talk him off the ledge, but he jumped anyway.

02/15/2007 Joan "of Yelp" S. says:

I wouldn't want to get a call like that on Valentine's Day, sorry Mytch.  It would be unsettling.

02/15/2007 Aaron "I'm Roman so I speak Latin" R. says:

Mytch, I like your view on this... its refreshing... you did what made you feel better, if she digs it great if not, then nothing changed... You already had the NO but you tried for the YES... nothign ventured nothing gained!!
While I myself may not have dones this I commend the cojones it took to do so!!!

So mytch, HERE's to you!!!

02/15/2007

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02/15/2007 Gail H. says:

Yes, Mytch, good for you!!  No matter what happened previously in your relationship with this woman, you were just being YOU yesterday, and did what you felt.  Too many people play games, hold back, and who really benefits from that??  No one.  Please let us know if she responds, if you don't mind.  :)

02/15/2007 Skorbo "The Greek" .. says:

Aaron-

To quote Bill Murray in Kingpin: Nice flip-flop.

02/15/2007 Runt T. says:

but the larger question now is:  "Will she call back?"

02/15/2007 Skorbo "The Greek" .. says:

Well, Mytch is a self-proclaimed catch, so it would seem his chances are good...

02/15/2007 Heather "Ginger" R. says:

I agree - I like your attitude.  You'll have to let us know if she called back.

Like Joan said, I know from past experience that a call from an ex is usually unsettling.  Of course, the "ex" I'm referring to still knew what was going on in my life a good 2+ years after we broke up.  Can we say stalker?  You, however, sound pretty level headed.  So, I wish you luck, and, if nothing else, maybe a nice friendship with the ex.

02/15/2007 Joan "of Yelp" S. says:

Calls from exes are fine.  I just wouldn't want one on Valentine's Day.  It would creep me out.

I still am close to my boyfriend I had when I was 16.  We have been writing letters for *cough cough* years.  He's in Chicago.

02/15/2007 Ryan B. says:

Kinda reminded me of Millionaire (remember when it was on every freakin night for 60 minutes?) where somebody polls the audience, it's like 90% one way, but the contestant decides to Call-a-friend and they're like um yeah, what is the question, and time expires before they can say anything.  Then they go 50/50 and still get it wrong.

So, Mytch I commend you for being a contrarian and going against the grain.  I love that carpe diem, life is short stuff, but it really only works in a relationship if both people feel that way.  When (if) she doesn't return your call, just make sure you don't lose any confidence and become gun-shy the next time.

02/15/2007 Lisa H. says:

I learned something from a very smart somebody some year's back and it's changed my life for the better so I thought I'd share it with you.  It's about chemistry:  Once we hear the voice of an ex (that we were crazy about OR just had lots of chemistry with, or both)  or see them, smell, taste or touch them,  there are chemicals that are released in our bodies that make us feel "high".   That is why so many of us at one time or another,  have felt compelled to call an ex to hear their voice on their answering machine...  It makes us feel high.

IF we want to truly get over someone, we shouldn't call, see them (this also means taking their photos down, touch them, taste them or smell them for a couple of years.  If we don't?  Then generally,  it will take another cycle of a couple of years to get over them...  Sometimes longer...

I know that I've fooled myself many times over in the past by thinking that "I'm only calling to say hello or to see how they are...."  The outcome?  Either we ended up seeing each other again and of course, it didn't work out...once again. *moan  OR I'd feel the high when speaking to them on the phone and later on feel like I wanted to talk to them again  (because what happens is that our body wants their body (so their voice is a trigger) and it doesn't care if the relationship won't work out in the long run.. or care that we will have to go through the pain of yet another breakup with the person.  It's kind of like having this little child inside of us that wants what it wants and wants it now and it doesn't care about the outcome.  It's very primal. Our body wants their body.  Period.

Think about it...  How many times have we been really attracted to someone sexually that isn't even our type or they are Really really wrong for us.. but after meeting them..we have an urge to see them again..  lol

02/15/2007 Lisa H. says:

bump

02/15/2007 G Y. says:

Very well put, Ryan.

02/15/2007 Lisa H. says:

bump

02/15/2007 Mytch P. says:

Lisa you are spot on. And I'm aware of this dangerous chemical game our physiques play. And I took that into account. This wasn't a flippant thought-I deliberated for well over a month and a half.

So the die has been cast; the glove has been tossed (or is that the salad?,) and I've put it out there. Simple. Short. Sweet.

My consensus is she will not call back. The fun facts I left out was I sent her a birthday card in December while I was out of state for the holidays, and didn't hear anything about the card. So I can't imagine her returning the call. Let alone an email.

So - who wants to go dancing?!?! I'm digging 60s Soul these days... boogie!

02/15/2007 Lisa H. says:

Cool Mytch!   I'm glad that you could relate.. ;-)

I just thought I'd share because someone out there might benefit from it and possibly not have to go through months or years of agony.  ;-)

02/15/2007 Marisa F. says:

Mytch..I'm sure the minute you get her out of your head and heart a sweet young thing worthy of you will come waltzing into your life.
I hope she doesn't call back. you need a girl who's goin to want to send you birthday cards!! there's plenty of them out there !

02/15/2007 judy w. says:

mytch! let's gooo! haven't gone dancing in a while. i could prolly use it cuz i feel all this junk in my trunk massively expanding..... dancing is always a good workout

02/15/2007 judy w. says:

also ditto to what marisa said

i feel like some of you yelper dudes just have not met the right girl but yet sticking to one that does not appreciate you is just going to post-pone mtg one who will.  time to move on to bigger and better things!

02/15/2007 G Y. says:

Bigger?

02/15/2007 Joan "of Yelp" S. says:

When one door closes, another one opens.  Closing doors can be a very good thing.

02/15/2007 judy w. says:

greg i was referring to my ghetto booty. it may be bigger, but it's also ....  better! (???)

shaaaaaaa - wing!

i need sleep, niteynite

02/15/2007 G Y. says:

Oh my goodness.