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Is neighborly spirit dead in SF?

Category: Local Questions & Answers

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Photo of Bryan B.

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07/24/2008 Bryan "United" B. says:

I felt compelled to write this talk post after my experience trying to get a cab yesterday, it was around 5:15 and I was trying to get from downtown to Pine and Polk to pick up my motorcycle from the shop. Needless to say there were no cabs around (good old SF) so I was standing on a corner trying to flag one. Next thing I notice is that a woman in her late 20's has started to stand two feet in front of me and she's also trying to flag a cab. A cab finally stops and I think whatever, she can have it but here's the dialog:

Me: "Hey, mind if we split this cab, I'm just going to Pine & Polk?"
Her: "No, I can't!"
Me: "Well, where are you going?"
Her: "The Marina"
Me: "It's actually right on the way, would you mind splitting it since I'm just going to pick up my bike"
Her: "No I can't"
Me: "I'm not crazy or anything and as you can see there are no cabs around"
Her: "No I can't!!!"

Anyway, after growing up in Ireland and living in Dublin for many years, I know that pretty much every person there would have agreed to split a cab and said "absolutely, no bother".

So here's my question, "is neighborly spirit dead in SF?"
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07/24/2008 Andrea "Churva" H. says:

It looks like in that person it is.
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07/24/2008 Gregor "I do all my own stunts" G. says:

Yep.
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07/24/2008 Nathan "Considerate Biker" F. says:

Not any more than modern day life in any big city....
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07/24/2008 Bella "FUC my reviews!!  Ride a Whorse, save a cowboy!" W. says:

B- maybe it was just her!  My friend was just telling me how he and this women who lives and works in the same building as him, always share cabs.
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07/24/2008 MakeUp "Riff Randall, Rock 'N Roller" M. says:

She was going to the Marina...enough said.  

Now people, don't get all your panties in a bunch and think I'm starting a Marina-bashing thread.  The above was my attempt at sarcasm but I don't have enough coffee in me to make it funny. Carry on...

Seriously, she was just being a tool.  It's just her.
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07/24/2008 Bryan "United" B. says:

I don't think it's the big city syndrome, there are way more people living in Dublin than here in SF and as I said pretty much everyone there would split a cab.

As for the Marina comment, I should have guessed that's how she'd answer the question lol (disclaimer, I live in Cow Hollow...oh the shame!!! :-P)
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07/24/2008 Elise F. says:

It may have had nothing to do with you and more just that she was trying to be overly cautious. It's sad, but it's hard to be safe a lot of times these days.
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07/24/2008 Patrick "ShamWow" B. says:

were you wearing that big blue costume?
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07/24/2008 May "Lover of the Illustrious Binkster" T. says:

Bryan, I'm sure if this was male-male sharing a cab, it would be a completely different issue and you can proclaim all brotherly love is dead in SF.

In the case of male-female, it's a safety issue first and foremost. Did you know her? Is she really your neighbor? Are you acquaintences even?

Even if you didn't project creepiness or sketchiness, I still wouldn't share a cab with you because I don't know you from Gun Totin' Joe Schmoe.

However, if you asked me and I knew you lived in my neighborhood, seen you around, worked in the same building, had said hello or had some sort of contact with you prior, I'd be more inclined to say, "No problem, hop in."

Does this make any sense? It's all about context.
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07/24/2008 Bryan "United" B. says:

haha, i bet it was because I wasn't wearing the big blue costume...I need to borrow the costume from the SJ earthquakes mascot.
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07/24/2008 Bryan "United" B. says:

Yeah, I get your point about context. I was more thinking that there's a cab driver in the cab, we're both clearing working professionals searching for a cab in SF at rush hour.

Maybe the solve for this is for SF to get some more freaking cabs :)
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07/24/2008 May "Lover of the Illustrious Binkster" T. says:

Yeah well, a "clearly working professional" who sat behind my colleague at lunchtime at Burger Bistro stole her wallet out of her handbag and started immediately trying to withdraw thousands of dollars from her bank account and then using her ATM card on purchases.
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07/24/2008 Peter "fumbling toward infamy" T. says:

My neighborhood is great, I've only been here a month, all the store owners on my block go out of their way to say hi to me if they see me. My neighbor in the upper unit gave me a tour of the neighborhood when I first moved in. I know the mailman by name. Sushi restaurant hooks me up anytime I drop in. Pizza joint gives me a free meal from time to time. People are great here. If you're nice to people and genuinely are interested in them, it goes a long way.
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07/24/2008 James "the Lames" M. says:

It was probably all of the winking and that fact that you pointed to your crotch when you referred to your bike.
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07/24/2008 Bryan "United" B. says:

james...i'm rotfl!!!
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07/24/2008 tiffinie m. says:

i've shared cabs with strangers before... she sounds like a freak!!

though, there is something different with SF the past few years as far as people being less neighborly -- now SF feels like every other big city :(
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07/24/2008 Sarah "The Bear" H. says:

I've had incidents a few times in my life in San Francisco where there was a decided lack of cabs around and sharing was the only logical outcome with several people standing around hailing cabs.  I think she was especially paranoid if she had a problem with sharing a cab.  After all, all she had to do was give a very general destination to the driver, not a specific address, but maybe she has no imagination. But, in a more general answer, about neighbors.  I've lived in my neighborhood almost 15 years, and I only am on speaking terms with perhaps 1 in 100 people in the area.  I think that's about right.  Some are fellow dog owners, some I see every single friggin day and we don't speak.  One or two people show signs of mental disorder, some are down right nasty mean and territorial.  I don't want to know anything about most of them.
I am thankful if I really got into a scrape that there's 911 because I sure could as my neighbor for help.
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07/24/2008 Sarah "The Bear" H. says:

could not
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07/24/2008 Sarah "The Bear" H. says:

could not ask... sheesh..  my typing is really off today
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07/24/2008 Deepak J. says:

though, there is something different with SF the past few years as far as people being less neighborly -- now SF feels like every other big city :(
----

scratch that up to the next wave of douches. private equity, real estate, hedge funds, internet bubble 2.0
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07/24/2008 Jessica "Jessica" V. says:

Bryan, maybe you should have tucked your penis back into your pants before asking her.
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07/24/2008 Jessica "Jessica" V. says:

Oh damn, my joke was really just another version of James'.  Fail.
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07/24/2008 John "I'll out drink ya all, I'm Irish" B. says:

Did you notice that she was looking at your crotch and decided you were lacking?
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07/24/2008 John "I'll out drink ya all, I'm Irish" B. says:

Bryan "United" B. says:

Yeah, I get your point about context. I was more thinking that there's a cab driver in the cab, we're both clearing working professionals searching for a cab in SF at rush hour.

Maybe the solve for this is for SF to get some more freaking cabs :)

San Francisco has 1250 cabs on the street everyday( I used to drive one). The problem is not trying to find one, it's that ALL the cabs tend to use the same paths across the city. When looking for a cab it's best to go to a hotel or a high volume office location ( like 555 California st) the cab drivers want airport runs so they can make their gates and gas. It's pretty hard to make the 165.00 it requires to break even when you do 5 dollar runs from downtown to Polk gulch. So,  if your on Sutter and Grant good luck finding a cab.
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07/24/2008 CK "nested homunculus" S. says:

You gotta be kidding me. I've had so many positive experiences with neighbors being kind and helpful in this city than I can count. If you don't know how to get a cab in SF, you must be truly clueless.
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07/24/2008 Shannon "Insufferable Snarkoleptic" B. says:

depends upon the neighborhood. I met my neighbors recently and they were cool, but then, I didn't ask if they would share a cab. That would probably just be creepy.

If you were her type, she may have said yes...
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07/24/2008 Matt H. says:

You could have stopped here:
"Next thing I notice is that a woman in her late 20's has started to stand two feet in front of me"
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07/24/2008 James "the Lames" M. says:

Jessica "Jessica" V. says:

Oh damn, my joke was really just another version of James'.  Fail.
------------------------------ ----------
Yours was much more visual though, so cheers.
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07/24/2008 miriam b. says:

the shift is predicated on newbies from the places as suspect as C++ programming, cash-out newbies from PayPal, Trust fund offspring of Countrywide Mortgage, hedgefund bookies..they suspect that San Francisco is the denizen of thieves and vice...unfortunately...they are carrying poisoned baggage from the myths of film noir and completely frigged up on themselves...sad, but cold hard FOG of WAR in the c-H-itty.....actually seen this shift since the boom of those cyber-nitties of 1998...internet bots...perhaps...deep pockets full of 5 benjies pay-off for them do you suppose...growl

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