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Help me come up with a Drake Equation for finding eligible singles in SF!

Category: Humor & Offbeat

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10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

For those of you unfamiliar with the Drake equation, it was an attempt by a guy named Drake to estimate the number of extraterrestrial civilizations in our galaxy with which we might come in contact.

  1. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    Dammit!  I wasn't done!  So the equation can be found here:

    http://en.wikipedia.or...

    What I need to find are the unknown variables for finding eligible singles in SF.  Let's start with men.

  2. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    N= number of men in SF
    f(st)= fraction of men that are straight
    f(sd)= fraction of men that are single or divorced

  3. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    I'm sure if we come up with all of the proper variables, we can finally put to rest the question of "Where are all the singles at?" on Yelp talk threads...

  4. Photo of Jing F.
    10/16/2007 Jing F. says:

    ok..you are just looking for finding eligible single males then???

  5. Photo of Kevin H.
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    10/16/2007 Kevin H. says:

    The problem is that the universe is infinitely large, and even the TINIEST possibility of life in the universe on an infinitely large scale becomes EXTREMELY likely.  Whereas, San Francisco covers a very finite area of just 47 square miles.

    Maybe if you BEGAN with an equation to find single life in the universe...

    Ahhh...forget it...

  6. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    I'm doing this as a service to the Yelp talk community!  We can mathematically find the answer to where all of the single, straight guys are!

  7. 10/16/2007 John D. says:

    So once we add f(st) and f(sd) we need to just do a lot more subtracting? Is there any division involved. Do we need all of PEMDAS?

  8. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    f(6ft)=fraction of men that are 6 feet or taller
    f(b-)=fraction of men without emotional baggage from previous relationships
    f(emp)=fraction of men that have a good job (or have ambition or drive)

  9. 10/16/2007 John D. says:

    Or do we start with  X being the desired male and then start the checks and balances from there/

  10. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    The fractions involve division...we reduce the total number by dividing by fraction of men that meet the criteria...

  11. 10/16/2007 John D. says:

    Christopher, you've just eliminated all males!

  12. 10/16/2007 John D. says:

    Thankg goodness for beer

  13. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    f(b)=fraction of men who are bold enough to come up to a woman and ask her out
    f(7+)=fraction of men who...well, I think you know what this one is
    f(ea)=fraction of men who are emotionally available

    I think this covers all of the complaints about men I've heard on Yelp.  

    We're ready to start estimating values for these variables...

  14. Photo of Jack H.
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    10/16/2007 Jack H. says:

    $300 Billion in Male's Bank Account/150 = 3 Billion potential females available to male (minus ~10,000 nonmaterialistic females)

  15. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    N = Number of males in SF = 394828

    Wow, that's already not a lot, but it's still more than the number of women.

  16. Photo of J A.
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    10/16/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    All I know there is plenty-but I haven't gotten asked out so according to the Drake Equation, I think X at this moment would be nil. Once one does ask me out, then X=1.

  17. Photo of J A.
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    10/16/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    so, here are the odds 1/394828.
    minus ex-boyfriends 1/394823

  18. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    Up to about 22% of men in SF are gay (from Wikipedia), so f(st) = 0.78

  19. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    Ahh, Joy...I didn't consider the ex-boyfriend factor...

  20. Photo of Jing F.
    10/16/2007 Jing F. says:

    this sounds like an episode of the new tv series The Big Bang Theory

  21. 10/16/2007 John D. says:

    So how does this effect me?

  22. Photo of J A.
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    10/16/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    Eric, the odds in your favor.

  23. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    Uh-oh...

    I just found this: http://query.nytimes.c...

    So if 40% of single men in SF are gay, and there are 69,690 gay men...

    So the number of single men must be174225.

    So now we're down to about 100,000 single, straight men in SF...not bad!

  24. Photo of Jack H.
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    10/16/2007 Jack H. says:

    Eric, All you need is 1 good one.  And you've got that!

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  26. Photo of Jack H.
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    10/16/2007 Jack H. says:

    How many straight single women in SF?

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  28. Photo of Jack H.
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    10/16/2007 Jack H. says:

    IQ {less than} 90

    ?

  29. Photo of J A.
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    10/16/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    so minus the 6000 babies born at California Pacific Medical Center-that would mean that 6000 of those babies have daddies that are NOT Single.
    Plus probably the 6000 or so at UCSF-
    so 12000 are off limits.

  30. Photo of Jack H.
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    10/16/2007 Jack H. says:

    My theorem research is going in a whole other direction - something like

    As the Female's IQ decreases and approaches 0

    And as the Male's Bank Account approaches Infinity;

    Availabe low IQ single females approaches Infinity divided by zero...

  31. Photo of J A.
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    10/16/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    minus 12000 married/engaged/I am my baby's daddy/committed relationship
    minus crazy-myspace/craigslist/match (likes pony girls, posts on craigslist, good on paper)
    minus no common sense--like leaving the engine running while pumping gas
    minus no job
    minus alcohol/drug dependent

    48000 I am estimating

  32. Photo of Jack H.
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    10/16/2007 Jack H. says:

    Crap that is scary I've dated about that many.  but luckily that included the alchies; no common sense mypacer married ponies etc

  33. Photo of J A.
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    10/16/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    so yes, about 120, 000 men that are available.
    oh, but minus the ones in transition
    minus the ones who just want a "fun."
    minus the ones who are commitment-phobic.
    100,000???

  34. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    So we've already discovered something from the first three factors - approximately only one out of four guys you meet will be single AND straight.  

    Already useful info...

  35. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    Oh...only 14.5% of men are six feet or taller

    (source: http://www.gladwell.co...)

    So now we're down to 14, 500 men who are single, straight and tall.

  36. Photo of J A.
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    10/16/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    Though 1 out of four maybe single and straight, I only need one.
    So still the odds are 1/100000

  37. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    Joy, do you want a tall (six feet or taller) man? Because then your odds really drop...

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  39. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    We've got about 5% unemployment in SF....so let's guestimate that 65% of SF men have a good job.

    14,500 x 0.95 x 0.65 = 8953 men

  40. Photo of J A.
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    10/16/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    I want one with a fairly large IQ/common sense/wit/humor, Is taller than 5"5, good in bed,  and likes the fact I'm wierd.

  41. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    Joy, taller than 5'5" is a much easier prospect; we can recalculate the equation for you at the end.

  42. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    Women, help me out - I have no idea what fraction of men are emotionally available, and aren't carrying baggage from a previous relationship.

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  44. Photo of J A.
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    10/16/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    Joyita the Adobo Lady .. says:

    so yes, about 120, 000 men that are available.
    oh, but minus the ones in transition
    minus the ones who just want a "fun."
    minus the ones who are commitment-phobic.
    100,000???

  45. Photo of J A.
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    10/16/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    Out of the 1/40 are emotionally available.

  46. Photo of Gustie L.
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    10/16/2007 Gustie L. says:

    Wow I'm single straight and tall -- I was unaware that I was a statistical freak of nature.  My personal experiences though lead me to fear that my female counterpart is also a rarity.

  47. 10/16/2007 Christopher S. says:

    I also have no info on penis size, though there are a lot of websites that seem to make some interesting claims about size...for instance, that it doesn't matter:

    http://ezinearticles.c...

    http://pressesc.com/01...

    I really don't believe that one bit.

  48. 10/17/2007

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  49. 10/17/2007 Christopher S. says:

    But, find a statistic that 90% of men fall between 5" and 7", so let's say that if you want a guy 7 inches or larger, then you're at 8953 x 0.05 = 447

  50. Photo of Gustie L.
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    10/17/2007 Gustie L. says:

    No to all those, but note I was silent on the good job and emotional availability...

  51. 10/17/2007 Christopher S. says:

    CONCLUSION:

    If you're a single Yelp female, and you're looking for a single, straight, tall guy with a good job and a big penis, then you've got about 450 of them out there to choose from.  They, however, may not be emotionally available, smart, or free of baggage.  They may also have a drug and/or alcohol dependency.  And single means "not married", but they may be dating or have a girlfriend.

    So...

    Yeah.  There may be like 20 guys in SF that measure up.  Get off the computer and start looking!

  52. Photo of J A.
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    10/17/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    wow. 447.
    I met a man with nine. He proudly told me. He talked WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT IT. Therefore, I figured he thought with his smaller head rather than the one on his neck.

  53. Photo of Thomas F.
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    10/17/2007 Thomas F. says:

    Women
    f(bwh) breast waist hips ratio

    Men
    f(i) = income

  54. Photo of J A.
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    10/17/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    I'm not going to look Christopher. I'm going to follow my aunt's advice-don't. You'll know when you meet a good melon. And if you meet a good melon, let him approach you. As much as we have a "modern society," I find we can never get over our hardwiring. Men like the chase. I'm a sprinter, so catch me if you can !

  55. 10/17/2007 Christopher S. says:

    Joyita the Adobo Lady .. says:

    "wow. 447.
    I met a man with nine. He proudly told me. He talked WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT IT. Therefore, I figured he thought with his smaller head rather than the one on his neck."

    I don't believe him.  If I had nine inches (and I'm telling you now, I don't), I would never mention it at all.  I would let it be a surprise to those ladies who were fortunate enough to discover it.

    I sure wouldn't go around bragging about it.

  56. Photo of J A.
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    10/17/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    Thomas. The ideal ratio is 0.7

  57. Photo of J A.
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    10/17/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    for women's hip to waist ratio.

  58. 10/17/2007 Christopher S. says:

    Joy, I went back and recalculated based on your 5'5" or taller criteria, and your number of eligible men goes up to ~3000, and that's if you're looking for seven inches or longer.  If you're okay with between 5 and 7 inches, your number shoots up into the 60,000 range.

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  60. 10/17/2007 Christopher S. says:

    Joy, I know you aren't looking.  This thread really isn't for you, so much as it's for the countless Yelp women who start threads wondering where all the single straight guys are.  I'm sure you'll find the right guy soon enough...you've got 60,000 to choose from...and that's not even including guys that live in Oakland or Berkeley or other parts of the Bay Area!

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  62. Photo of J A.
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    10/17/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    Some of my best boyfriends were from Europe. The possibilities are endless.

  63. Photo of J A.
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    10/17/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    Ruthifer you down for DYK?
    there is no pi, but there is elk. Testosterone filled deer.

  64. Photo of J A.
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    10/17/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

    Okay! Good night fishies!!!

  65. 10/17/2007 Christopher S. says:

    Ruthifer J. says:

    "This thread isn't for me either.  I'm just here for the pi."

    Yeah, we know how many men you have to choose from.  300 Spartans.

  66. 10/17/2007

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