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Craigslist NY "what am I doing wrong" and response

Category: Humor & Offbeat

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Photo of Fong L.

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10/5/2007 Fong "all night Fong" L. says:

BAHAHAHA this is fucking great.  from craigslist in NYC.  Can't find the original link but you can find a bunch of responses on there still.  The original post:


What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful  
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.  
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind  
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think  
I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around  
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get  
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as  
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I  
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms  

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my  
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east  
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have  
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story  
there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment  
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for  
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't  
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial
interests  
PostingID: 432279810

[response to follow]
Photo of Fong L.

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10/5/2007 Fong "all night Fong" L. says:

THE ANSWER  
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.  
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your  
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a  
crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my  
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely  
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning  
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation  
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in  
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy  
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case  
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were  
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.  

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,  
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to  
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K  
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.  

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.  
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.
user photo
10/5/2007 Alan S. says:

Sounds like a fair exchange to me! =)
Photo of J A.

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10/5/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

But we got the biggest balls of them all! http://www.youtube.com...
Photo of J A.

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10/5/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

http://www.youtube.com...
Photo of J A.

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10/5/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

In all seriousness, women like that will never find the love that they really seek. Love doesn't have a price tag, that's why if I ever get proposed to, I don't want a blood diamond. I just want him to get down on one knee and ask. just not at a truck stop, that's all I ask. ;D
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10/5/2007 Nelson "Half Nelson" W. says:

Joyita, there are a couple of nice rest areas that I could suggest if you don't like truck stops...
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10/5/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

hardy har har.
really, I'm more classy than that.
Photo of J A.

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10/5/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

I expect at a bar with butch and chuck flanking the scene.
Not.
Photo of Linda M.

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10/5/2007 Linda "Jiminy Cricket" M. says:

Fong, did you write that response yourself, or was it one of the responses on CL?  It's brilliant.
Photo of Nelson W.

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10/5/2007 Nelson "Half Nelson" W. says:

Sorry, I couldn't resist.
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10/5/2007 Nelson "Half Nelson" W. says:

It's the CL response.
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10/5/2007 R "obble, robble, robb" L. says:

hahaa.. sweet.

funny how civil it is on top of the degenerative subject matter.

:)
Photo of CHERiE Y.

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10/5/2007 CHERiE "my plan is to travel the world in a panda suit" Y. says:

I hope the guy who is foolish enough to marry THAT gets a pre-nupt.
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10/5/2007 Mike "UranusDeMilo" W. says:

Wow Fong....that was extremely well put!

You gotta hand it to her though.....there are *many* women that have similar priorities and agendas while they stumble around babbling things like "personality, character, and emotional availability are what I value *MOST* in a man".

I've always said that the science of how humans select their mates is frighteningly simple.  And when you get down to brass tacks, it bears a strong resemblence to the economic theory of supply and demand.

Still, it's interesting to hear from a woman who isn't afraid to put all her cards on the table....
Photo of Gregor G.

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10/5/2007 Gregor "Painfully Single" G. says:

Almost makes me wish I was a spectacularly beautiful 25-year-old girl. bwahahahaaa!
Photo of euge l.

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10/5/2007 euge "fanfuckingtastic" l. says:

im pretty hot myself. any women making 500 bucks a year want a piece of this? *points to crotch* tm mbk
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10/5/2007 KayJay .. says:

I find if absolutely disheartening that a woman would use her beauty as an excuse to be an absolute failure in life.
user photo
10/5/2007

This account has been closed.

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10/5/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

what KayJay said!
did I tell you today that you are fabulous?
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10/5/2007 Bill "Caution: Awesome Awesomeness" S. says:

And who says romance is dead?
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10/5/2007 Sierra S. says:

it'd be great if this started off an epidemic of rich man refusing to marry beautiful gold-diggers


riiiiiiiiiigght...
Photo of J A.

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10/5/2007 J "overgrown with summer foliage" A. says:

Hi,
I'm looking for a sensible nerd.
user photo
10/5/2007

This account has been closed.

Photo of michelle s.

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10/5/2007 michelle s. says:

she didn't mention her stats:(  hehe...
Photo of Fong L.

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10/5/2007 Fong "all night Fong" L. says:

wish I wrote it myself, but it was another anonymous craigslist guy :)
There are responses to him up in craigslist NY too, but neither original post is up.
Photo of Fong L.

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10/6/2007 Fong "all night Fong" L. says:

bahahaha this is another great response:  scroll down to the end
http://newyork.craigsl...
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10/6/2007 Lisa "funk me already" J. says:

wasnt this on the view last week???
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10/6/2007

This account has been closed.

Photo of Linda T.

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10/6/2007 Linda "not a morning person" T. says:

Hahaha! That 2nd response was funny too!

Here's a previous thread on it from yesterday...
http://www.yelp.com/to...

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