Customs/Airport Horror Stories

07/31/2006 Gil "chickencat" S. says:

Nothing, really.  I've learned not to buy a one-way ticket the same day i want to fly.  Just like the rest of life, you fly with a girl and they trust you more.  Check your bags so you don't have to get them searched at the SSSS line.

07/31/2006 mokirobinson m. says:

I had my thumb cuffs confiscated.  Not quite a horror story but I was bummed.

07/31/2006 Katie T. says:

I get stopped everytime. Originally I was traveling every weekend with a field hockey team. Being the goalie, I had a hug bag with various sitcks and other equiptment. This is a huge red flag apparently. I would get stopped everytime at the gate. On the way home I would be covered in bruises and have a limp, and get pulled off to the side and asked if I needed help. I thought this would all end, but I think I have a stamp on my forhead.
I was traveling to SD and got stopped and had everything gone through, and I mean everything. There is nothing more embarassing then having a person grab your toiletries bag and before opening asking in a loud voice "Do you have a vibrator in here?" I think I turned brighter then the Yelp button. He pulled out the base of my electric tooth brush and asked if it was some sort of sexual device. I started cracking up, but niether of my enormous armed escorts thought it was funny. Needless to say I don't like to travel with any carry ons.

07/31/2006 luis .. says:

oh man, tell me about it.  After 9/11 i had the worst time flying, and I fly a bit for business.  I wasn't allowed to use curbside check-in, kiosk check-in, when I would finally get to the counter they would have to call a supervisor and they would take at least 15 minutes before they got approval to give me my boarding pass, then sure enough I would have to go through the more thorough security check.  it was ridiculous.  Finally this year I took a very early morning flight to New York on Jet Blue.  With no one around and after the we went through the whole supervisor thing, the lady at the counter told me that I may be having problems because they got a name match from the TSA list which meant I would have to face more scrutiny than your average passenger.  She gave me a website url where she said I could find out how to essentially "clear my name".  I never did it though because I figure it doesn't take much effort for President Bush to find out that I am a law abiding citizen who travels for business and pleasure, at least a lot less effort than I was going to have to put out to prove to the TSA people that I am no threat.

07/31/2006 Tiffany B. says:

airport horror stories..geez, I have a few...I'll write more later...but check out my review of United Airlines...

I'd review the Hong Kong airport...I spent 10 hours there after already having been awake for at least 20 hours prior...but yelp doesn't have international capacity...yet.

I have also learned that wearing a short kilt complete with large pins on it, fishnets and 4 inch heels will get you frisked...twice.

And a button fly may send off the alarm...I offered to remove my pants...but they just let me through...

I've had my dirty dance clothes, panties and other items strewn about Charles DeGaulle airport as I apparently looked suspicious traveling with my former dance partner.  The security officer did not heed my warning about what was in my carry-on and proceeded to extract my items one by one...a bit embarrassing...but I suppose everyone needs to have some fun at work...

Oh, and buying a one-way ticket the day of the flight is a major red-flag, as is traveling with a suitcase that is 6 lbs over the regulated weight...(I was going to ride with friends back from the Pacific Northwest, but heard that a snowstorm was coming and decided to fly back so I would not miss rehearsal and work the following day).  By time I made it through security, I barely made my flight.  I arrived at Oakland to find that my large suitcase was held over for a TSA search and that it would be delivered to me the following day...

08/01/2006 Katie T. says:

Oh the whole I'll deliver your bag to you the following day bit....
I traveled for DC for junior olympics and had by ginormous goalie bag in check. They tried that whole we'll deliver it to you bit. Turns out they had it in the back, but they wanted to go through it to ensure I wasn't smuggling drugs.
It took a phone call from one of the directors to get the bag released. By the time she was done with them they loaded it in to the car that they offered to upgrade to help make up for my disruption. It was pretty funny, but I still felt bad that somebody got yelled at for an innocent safety issue.

08/01/2006 Kevin S. says:

Luis, you're in distinguished company:

http://www.washingtonp...

08/01/2006 Cornelius "Maximus" S. says:

i looked at your picture. all you need to do is trim the goatee and use the force. if you seem nervous, they will stop you.

08/01/2006

This post was removed because the yelper who wrote it has violated the Yelp Terms of Service and is no longer a registered yelper.

08/01/2006 J. D. says:

My friends two sons 13 and 16 years old got taken into a room and interrogated because their last name started with  Laden.

08/02/2006 Marc M. says:

Uh oh. Y'all got me nervous. I'm traveling to Taiwan for work in a few weeks...I've never gone overseas or dealt with having to go thru customs. Any tips to avoid having problems?

08/02/2006 euge "fanfuckingtastic" l. says:

this was before the was a direct flight from sf to kimpo (hahah not even icn) there was a stop over in japan bfore flying into korea.  imustve been in 4th grade, the summer of going into the 5th. my parents sent me off to korea on the two week trip with a bunch of sfers and socal folks. while waiting in japan, a bunch of us snuck under the passport control desk, basically crawled under the gate, tahts it ( it was a much different time then) and went to the toy shops on the other side. when we tried to crawl back, we got stopped.

long story short, our guardian wa about to die crying say oh my god theyre gonna thorw us all in jail (none of us had visas to be in japan) how shes all scared her career is over because the kids shes supposed to take care of will end up in jail in japan then deported to the states...

they took pity on her, escorted us to our plane which was stalled for us.

horror stories, dont take a bunch of korean kids to a foreign land.

08/02/2006 euge "fanfuckingtastic" l. says:

had greatest customs experience last time in icn.

drank a bottle of balentines 17 on the flight from sfo. was so hungover/still drunk, when i got to the customs agent, he looked at me all crazy, i said hello in korean, he said bye.

08/02/2006 Shari "the fairy" D. says:

I'm pretty lucky, but in Feb. I went to New York for a week, lost my wallet in a cab, and had to have a very thorough check at the SSSS station. TSA weren't really that careful, though, in my opinion. They didn't check my hooha for hidden weapons or anything. I was out of there in 30 minutes. Hooha intact.
p.s.
The NY cab driver sent me my wallet back!

08/02/2006 Ed "rib flaps" H. says:

I was in Dallas to switch planes, I went outside only to come back to a security line that was 50 yards long.  So I grudgingly hopped into line.  As I finally approached the metal detectors, I noticed an older gentleman pleading with the TSA to let him bypass the line.

He looked like Wilford Brimley and was walking on the support of two canes.  On top of that, his eyes were red and he looked troubled, yet the TSA agent was a total harpy and refused him.

I told him to cut in front of me, the look of gratitude he gave was palpable enough that NOBODY behind me bitched.  His son was in ICU after having a heart attack at the age of 30 and flipping his jeep and he was desperate to get to his side.

Then to make matters worse, they pulled him aside for search, made him stand in the center in the TSA mushpot, TOOK his canes and made him stand there and wait.

So thank you TSA for allowing me the opportunity to witness low level trumped up guards strip a man of his dignity in public.