coworker battle
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08/16/2007
R T. says:
My coworker just walked in to my cube and told me he practiced karate for five years.
Does that mean he wants to fight me???
08/16/2007
Dilip "Traveler" M. says:
Or maybe you were threatening him in some way...So he has gives u heads up, that you should not pick a fight :)
08/16/2007
Sonia P. says:
LOL
Can you elaborate?
Did he just walk in, state that he practiced Karate for five years, then turn and leave?
08/16/2007
Ari C. says:
5 years of karate means nothing.
08/16/2007
R T. says:
I think this started when i was chatting with him last week around the water cooler and mentioned i would fight him in a cage.
08/16/2007
Sonia P. says:
lol...wow.
Um, I would say it's a warning...I think maybe he's trying to avoid a confrontation.
Maybe you should go tell him that you once kicked a bears ass and you'd do it again.
08/16/2007
Sonia P. says:
Ah screw it, go kick his karate ass.
08/16/2007
Yvonne "down with FUC" C. says:
You need to let that fool know that you are not a leva and that your pimp hand is way strong.
08/16/2007
jamie z. says:
judo chop him in the back of the neck when he isnt looking then walk away as if nothing happend
08/16/2007
R T. says:
he should know not to mess with me! ive got a printed picture of arnold schwarzenegger as conan the barbarian on my cube wall. thats how i decorate
08/16/2007
Christian "I shoot Velvia, not bullets..." d. says:
Tell him Karate don't mean sh*t when you grow up in the East Side. Then throw up a random gang sign to his face with a quick psycho look on your face....hold it for like a sec....then return back to "corporate" mode and nonchalantly go back to spreading cream-cheese on your bagel in the breakroom.
Even IF you didn't grow up in the East Side, and even IF you can't fight worth a damn....this will possibly instill some question as to whether he should even test his Karate against a potential vato loco from the hood.
Because when you add it up, 5-years karate is less than a 187 on a gangsta tip.
Hopefully he is good with math.
08/16/2007
hen "certified 100% usda organic lil' chicken" a. says:
certified black belt.....have my card and everything....(think i got it when i was 6 or 7)....started when i was 3....5 years of tae-kwon-do.....yup....you guys better becareful....
08/16/2007
R L. says:
You should storm his cubicle and tell him you wrastled in cream corn and were the undisputed champ in southern alabama... as you place a can of cream corn on his desk and walk away.
08/16/2007
Sonia P. says:
Christian D
LMFAO..thanks.
RT
Tell him you're really into him and that you'd much rather take him for cocktails sometime.
He'll either love you or be terrified of you, either way, this saves you a fight.
08/16/2007
R T. says:
lol christian d.
you sure know the cube life! I actually did spread cream cheese on a bagel today ... in the break room :(
08/16/2007
R T. says:
yea this coworker is weird
he walks around the building without moving his arms. sort of like a robot
a robot with five years of karate experience
08/16/2007
R T. says:
no hes soft
08/16/2007
Trolly McTroll C. says:
just ignore it - but randomly kick him in the nuts when he's not expecting it a couple of weeks from now and say "you learn how to protect against that in year six"
08/16/2007
Simon O. says:
does he know ken from napoleon dynamite?
08/16/2007
Sonia P. says:
RT, what are you gonna do?
08/16/2007
Dave "Como Ves" M. says:
Dude, look him in the eye, tell him you once slapped Chuck Norris so hard the he cried, then howl like a wolf.
08/16/2007
Arisara "Ari-WHAT?" S. says:
Sneak up behind him and hit him in the neck!
And you MUST say "JUDO CHOP!"
08/16/2007
Simon O. says:
R.T. says:
yea this coworker is weird
he walks around the building without moving his arms. sort of like a robot
a robot with five years of karate experience
--------------------------
so just like molly shannon on Seinfeld??
08/16/2007
Arisara "Ari-WHAT?" S. says:
Angelo F. says:
Sneak up behind and shave off part of his hair w/ clippers.
--------------
Jackass style!...I like it!
If you have a way of playing the "Jaws" theme song, bonus points!
08/16/2007
R T. says:
sigh...
i guess ill just continue being really passive aggressive around him
08/16/2007
Christian "I shoot Velvia, not bullets..." d. says:
If he still wants to get stroke his 5-years of karate ego on your behalf, just let him have his verbal fun while you silently create a corporate-wide email distribution of a not-so-family friendly joke or photo, with a spoofed e-mail of yours-truly. if you have access to a Packetshaper...easy peasy.
Then keep that little gem in your pocket for a rainy day. Rainy day being when Mr. Ralph "Karate Kid" Machio decides to go too far and really piss you off. When it gets to the point you really wish you didn't have to see his smug punk-faced so...smug....go ahead and launch that little silent but deadly salvo of yours....pour that hot cup of coffee, make it exactly the way you like...even with the extra sugar you know your doctor says you shouldn't, and wait for the fireworks to explode in his cube. Oh yeah...you don't have to even see it happen, because you'll hear it happen down the hall where he sits.
Go ahead and sip your mocha slowly...enjoy it...because it will be a VERY sweet day.
08/16/2007
Sonia P. says:
Makeup...haha...sweep the leg johnny!
RT...
You could wrap everything on his desk in foil when he's not around...
Blame it on a bigger tougher guy...or his boss.
08/16/2007
Trolly McTroll C. says:
Whisper in his ear at a meeting "Your dragon style is good, but it is no match for my godfist"
08/16/2007
Arisara "Ari-WHAT?" S. says:
MakeUp M. says:
Chill, Arisara. It *was* Cobra Kai. Damn, I am rusty on my 80s karate movies.
-----------
LOL. Only reason I know is because it was just on TV...totally forgot how cool that movie was.
08/16/2007
Sonia P. says:
I used to freegin' LOVE Ralph M...MAJOR crush action.
08/16/2007
Ron Jeremy "will be your freakazoid, c'mon and wind me up!" R. says:
Dude. I think you need to escalate and arm your cube.
http://www.thinkgeek.c...
The USB Missile Launcher is the latest desktop weapons platform that elevates your status from mere code-monkey or BOFH Sysadmin to a true Digital Dictator.
Laugh maniacally while you zero in on your unsuspecting target using your own computer. Rain down foam punishment upon him with a click of the mouse. Watch as, one by one, three spring-loaded missiles arc 5 to 8 feet gracefully to your targets.
Show him you mean business - "mercy is for the weak".
Peace through superior firepower.
http://www.thinkgeek.c...
=)
Otherwise - ala Karate Kid......"Just sweep the leg..."
08/16/2007
Angelo "Solo Cholo" F. says:
freeze a can of shaving cream....then cut off the bottom w/ a can opener...put it in one of his drawers....as it defrosts...it will get all sudsy and foamy and make his cube a mess. (got this from Maxim)
08/16/2007
Darin "Here's the deal, I'm the best there is." E. says:
Go over to his cube, put your hand on his shoulder, whisper in his ear that you think "Karate is hot". Then say something random like "5 weeks". Then walk away. He will be so weirded out by you he might just take a peter pan dive off the GG bridge.
08/16/2007
R T. says:
GG Bridge has those suicide fences now, right? He doesnt look physically fit enough to climb the suicide fence.
My other coworker says he knows tae kwon do. Seems like all software engineers are martial art masters
08/16/2007
Darin "Here's the deal, I'm the best there is." E. says:
Not physically fit enough? Well then you know what to do! Give him a real bad Indian burn and make a championship belt you can wear around the office. Create a WWE persona and only talk to him in that voice.
R T. says:
GG Bridge has those suicide fences now, right? He doesnt look physically fit enough to climb the suicide fence.
My other coworker says he knows tae kwon do. Seems like all software engineers are martial art masters
08/16/2007
Sonia P. says:
Darin E
have you actually done the wwe thing??
You have, haven't you?
08/16/2007
Art "Kiss my Converse!" O. says:
All you have to do is quote James Brown (RIP):
"I don't know karate, but I know KA-RAY-ZEEEE!"
08/16/2007
Gregor "I do all my own stunts" G. says:
Probably just his way of telling you that he would never wear an ugly brown belt like the one you have on. He's encouraging you to wear more black.
08/16/2007
R T. says:
he likes to wear these purple jeans and this green t shirt.
it always makes me think of the ninja turtles (donatello)
08/16/2007
Setareh N. says:
I would tell him you are a ninja and walk SLOWLY away ....OR ..... tell him you just got your blackbelt in crazy and your graduation ceremony is tonight
08/16/2007
Darin "Here's the deal, I'm the best there is." E. says:
Nice, I think I will use this for my next eval with my boss
Setareh N. says:
I would tell him you are a ninja and walk SLOWLY away ....OR ..... tell him you just got your blackbelt in crazy and your graduation ceremony is tonight
08/16/2007
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