Cameltoes and Moose Knuckles

Category: Humor & Offbeat

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8/20/2007 Jen D. says:

I was having a conversation with another Yelper the other day about cameltoes. And no I am not talking about the mammals that live in the desert with humps. See example here - http://en.wikipedia.or...
I am talking about the body parts of men and women who are squeezed so tight you can see the outline of their "jewels". See example here - http://www.vegamax.de/...
Sometimes, depending on the fabric, you can see pubes. *ack*

So this yelper, who is male, said that if the women is hot, then her showing off her cameltoe is hot. If this were on a questionnaire and the options were:

Strongly Disagree
Disagree
Neutral
Agree
Strongly Agree


I would have to say "I FUCKING STRONGLY DISAGREE". Dooooood, I don't care if the woman is Jessica Alba, no person on this planet should be showing off their cameltoe or moose knuckle. I saw an old Chinese dude on the train yesterday and I could see his moose knuckle. I was so grossed out but it's one of those situations where you want to look away but you can't. Why is that?!

So...

Cameltoes and moose knuckles. Hot or Not? Discuss amongst yourselves. :P

  1. 8/20/2007 Tony "Rookie of the Year" L. says:

    *barf*

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    8/20/2007 Jimmy "The Irrelevant" J. says:

    Jesus christ, that image made me puke in my mouth... and then I got a bit turned on.

  2. 8/20/2007 Audrey J. says:

    Ew.

    That's a negatory, Ghostrider.

    In other words, strongly disagree.

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    8/20/2007 Joolie "mzjoolz if you're nasty!" T. says:

    OMG Jen... are you trying to make me throw up?
    lol. you should download the song, "Camel Toe" by Fannypack.
    best song ever! hahahahaha

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    8/20/2007 roderick A. says:

    you can file this under "Strongly disa-freaking-gree".

  3. 8/20/2007 Steve "10 Lemon" M. says:

    Only if it's Camel Toe Annie, Jen: http://snuff3r.com/med... !

  4. 8/20/2007 Caroline A. says:

    Oh dear... that's not attractive.

  5. 8/20/2007 Kemi "Black Coffee" A. says:

    "I would have to say "I FUCKING STRONGLY DISAGREE". Dooooood, I don't care if the woman is Jessica Alba, no person on this planet should be showing off their cameltoe or moose knuckle. I saw an old Chinese dude on the train yesterday and I could see his moose knuckle. I was so grossed out but it's one of those situations where you want to look away but you can't. Why is that?"

    LOL...I strongly agree. I've never heard the term Moose Knuckles before.

    I saw Rent a few years ago on Broadway and at the end of the show(when they lined to take their final bow) one of the actresses had a camel toe.
    I'm on a student budget so I had nosebleed seats but I could still see those babies...so gross. I'm surprised she couldn't feel them

  6. 8/20/2007 Fabian T. says:

    Since I've never ever heard anyone say to me "Dude, check out that hot camel toe" I would have to agree with the peanut gallery. I mean, the reference is to the toe of a freakin' camel! You can put the Jessica Beal of camels in front of me, I mean the hottest camel ever -- I take one look at her foot and I'm thinking "THAT'S ONE F'D UP TOE". So, how it possibly get remotely hot if it's got a woman's leg on each side of it?

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    8/20/2007 Tom B. says:

    Ok.....What is a moose knuckle? Is it saggy balls?

  7. 8/20/2007 Jando "Alex" S. says:

    Jen:  As grossed out as I am, I am DYING from this thread.  Hilarious!!!!

    Tom:  AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA that just made my night.  Tom, its the male equivalent of the camel toe.  http://www.urbandictio...

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    8/20/2007 Becki "New Yawker For The Week" W. says:

    Sooooooo not hot

    My supervisor at work sent me an email of a camel toe implant. Funny, but again... ewwwwww

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    8/20/2007 Tom B. says:

    Thanks Jando! I know exactly what you mean now and it is just as gross as cameltoes. I guess you could say that moose knuckles are just obese cameltoes!!!!

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    8/20/2007 Victor "it was the sound of cheese being cut" L. says:

    HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA



    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA



    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

    The weird thing is, a cock outline was detailed just this weekend in Superbad. And cameltoe makes a prominent joke in The Weatherman.

  8. 8/20/2007 Michael "Weatness®™ 2012" F. says:

    This... is... unbelievable.

  9. 8/20/2007 Jaime "Accidental Evildoer" M. says:

    Even less classy than the accidental camel toe ('cause really, who does that on purpose?) is a bar here in Austin called the Mooseknuckle. Just plain gross.

    And wouldn't you know, it's frequented by the frattiest of the frat boys!

  10. 8/20/2007 Kate "bendy straws make drinks great" F. says:

    This is HANDS DOWN my favorite yelp thread ever.

    Squeezedin bunched up junk, of either the camel or the moose variety, makes me giggle.

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    8/21/2007 Brian "no nickname" K. says:

    http://www.mshepherd.c...

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    8/21/2007 Allison "Allie" G. says:

    OMG, Brian.... that's the funniest thing I've ever seen!!!!

  11. 8/21/2007

    This Yelper's account has been closed.

  12. 8/21/2007 Jen D. says:

    Victor: You saw Superbad? Holy shiz. I was laughing so hard!!!! I love that movie!

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    8/21/2007 Gina C. says:

    Will.

    Cameltoe, probably not on purpose no matter how "neurotic" us women are about our "personal appearance."  Also, the other type of woman you mention, your stereotypical lesbians (thank goodness there are only two types of women out there, I don't think I could keep track of which one I am otherwise) are probably also concerned with how they look though it obviously doesn't appeal to you.  In your scenerio, I believe that they could intentionally cameltoe with the best of em.

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    8/21/2007 Gina C. says:

    Can't wait to see Superbad!  It looks so great.  Tonight may be my night!

  13. 8/21/2007

    This Yelper's account has been closed.

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    8/21/2007 Robert L. says:

    could be worse... could be a scruff muffin

  14. 8/21/2007

    This Yelper's account has been closed.

  15. 8/21/2007 Franco "Scandalous!®" C. says:

    Pubes?  Who the hell still has those?  

    As for the aforementioned toe du camel, it really depends on my mood - sometimes it can be sexy if it is more or less unintentional- however, if it is the girl who thinks her crack should be encased like a sausage well then that is just nasty.

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    8/21/2007 beth p. says:

    Ever heard "Camel Toe" by Fanny Pack? Totally hysterical!!


    Lyrics:

    um hmm thats right uh huh uh huh
    um hmm thats right uh huh uh huh

    walking down the street
    something caught my eye
    a growing epidemic that really ain't fly
    a middle aged lady
    i gotta be blunt
    her spandex biker shorts were creepin up the front

    I could see her uterus her pants were too tight
    She must've owned panties that were not in sight
    She walked right by the poor woman didn't know
    She had a frontal wedgie a Camel Toe

    [Chorus]
    um hmm thats right uh huh
    oh no
    fix yourself girl
    you got a
    Camel Toe
    um hmm thats right uh huh
    oh no
    fix yourself girl
    you got a
    Camel Toe

    girl thats gotta hurt
    take some time and adjust can't you see people staring
    and making a fuss
    could not believe my eyes had to take a second glance
    is your crotch hungry girl
    cause its eating your pants
    do you enjoy the comotion and attenetion it brings
    the only lips i wanna see are the ones that sing
    in public putting on an x rated show grossin people out
    with your Camel Toe

    [Repeat Chorus]

    first day of spring and by the looks of things these girls have forgot how to dress
    a little quick to wearin
    wearin pum pum shorts
    and its causin me much distress
    whoomp there it is
    yeha right in the front
    everybody come and get a good look
    i can see everything through the panty cling every cranny
    and every nook
    you better take a quick minute
    before you step outside
    and check the area thats pubic
    or you'll get your panties all up in a bunch all twisted up
    like rubic
    take these words of advice
    cause its not very nice
    i wanna put you al in the know
    girls don't sleep
    don't let your pants creep
    watch out for The Camel Toe

    [Repeat Chorus]

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    8/21/2007 Maria "fabulous yet improving" M. says:

    Camel toes is NEVER ATTRACTIVE.  it takes the hot quotient out of everything and everybody.

  16. 8/21/2007 Jen D. says:

    OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.... That song is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! It is SO going to be my Myspace song now. :)

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    8/21/2007 Robert L. says:

    @Will

    Scruff Muffin= an unshaven FUPA


    and for those that dont know...

    FUPA = Fat Upper Pussy Area

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    8/21/2007 Yumi H. says:

    Jen....the topics you come up with.....^^

    it's definitely NOT hot in any way!!!!!

  17. 8/21/2007 Jen D. says:

    hahah.. Yes, Yumi. I have a dirrrrrrrrty mind. :)

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    8/21/2007 Gina C. says:

    Scruff Muffin is very funny.

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    8/21/2007 Victor "it was the sound of cheese being cut" L. says:

    Superbad was hilarious. Not as good as Knocked Up overall (it drags more, scenes do need to be chopped down, and kind of just has less of a plot), but line for line it might be funnier. I've never seen so many genetalia references out of one kid's mouth.

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    8/21/2007 Ed B. says:

    I have a very nice customer who is probably late forties to fifty, and she is  really quite a looker, and obviously works out. She showed up last week in a pair of spandex work out shorts at the store prominently showing off her "goods". I doubt that she was aware, but how could not be? Considering where the material was heading! And while the term :scruff muffin is being bandied about, last year I was at one of the local malls to pick up some jeans, I noticed a girl in her mid twenties walking toward me in a "belly" shirt, and a pair of jeans riding so low, that there was a good bit of "curly overflow" above the waist band of them. Really nasty.

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    8/21/2007 JoJo "& K" C. says:

    This weekend I saw a cute blond college co-ed walking around in a see through dress!  It wasn't a skanky dress but it was made out of loose fitting white cotton jersey material tand about knee length but it was not blocking the view of ANYTHING!! She was with a friend too!  How could her friend NOT have told her!  

    I was torn.  Should I tell her I could see her bum through her dress or should I just ignore it and keep walking?  I chose to keep walking -  I just felt too uncomfortable telling her.  :(

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    8/21/2007 Jase "dark and stormy" E. says:

    Moose knuckles?  I've always called it a camel nose.

    omg.. in looking for a picture, i found this one:
    http://www.fantasycost...

    I just have to say i busted out laughing!!  ;)

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    8/21/2007 Yumi H. says:

    omg.

    Jase, how will i get that image out of head now?!?!

    hahaha

  18. 8/21/2007 Jen D. says:

    hahahahah.. that is a good one Jase!!

    Victor: "Just to let you know. My back is located on my cock, so you can scratch that." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAH...

  19. 8/21/2007 Michael "Weatness®™ 2012" F. says:

    This weekend I saw a cute blond college co-ed walking around in a see through dress!  It wasn't a skanky dress but it was made out of loose fitting white cotton jersey material tand about knee length but it was not blocking the view of ANYTHING!! She was with a friend too!  How could her friend NOT have told her!  

    I was torn.  Should I tell her I could see her bum through her dress or should I just ignore it and keep walking?  I chose to keep walking -  I just felt too uncomfortable telling her.  :(

    --------

    Don't you think she had to know that was the case and was just going for it?

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    8/21/2007 Soozie "Princess" H. says:

    NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO way is camel toe or moose knuckles "hot"! Ewwww....totally bad visual...

  20. 8/21/2007 Kate "bendy straws make drinks great" F. says:

    Everyone has their own definition of hotness, so why hate on those that might love the visual teaser of what lies beneath, or the sensation of a nice sweaty piece of lycra or khaki nuzzling up our nethers? Whatever floats your boat you lurking camel toe lovers! Thanks for the entertainment!

    Also, Jase, that photo made my day better.

    And though there are some people who enjoy showing off their goods in too tight or see through clothing, I'm hazarding a guess that 90% of the unfortunately dressed souls out there didn't have the proper lighting to simulate the perilously strong glare of Manhattan sun on a breezy cotton/linen ensemble. As a girl who lives in a basement apartment, I can vouch for at least myself the few times I've headed out into the world in a skirt, unknowingly giving people a clear view through my legs to the street ahead of me. Overhead lighting is a tricky bitch.

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    8/21/2007 Yumi H. says:

    Kate F. says: I'm hazarding a guess that 90% of the unfortunately dressed souls out there didn't have the proper lighting to simulate the perilously strong glare of Manhattan sun on a breezy cotton/linen ensemble.


    hahaha....i think you may have hit the jackpot.

  21. 8/21/2007 Michael "Weatness®™ 2012" F. says:

    Kate F. says:

    "nuzzling up our nethers"

    ----------------

    Classic.  And furthermore, I concur.  Whatever floats someone's proverbial moose knuckle/cameltoe.  It's what makes the world an interesting place.  How would it be if we ALL hated cameltoes?  There would be no cameltoes to hate.

    Besides, there are more and less subtle versions.  That picture way up above is like, um, cutting butter with a chainsaw in the visual imagery department.  Woof.

    P.S.  I can't believe I used the term "moose knuckle" in a sentence.  Ha.  "Cameltoe," while totally disgusting, I somehow have blended into the modern lexicon.   This one's new for me.

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    8/21/2007 Jase "dark and stormy" E. says:

    Yumi, Jenifer, Kate:  I aim to please.

  22. 8/21/2007 Kate "bendy straws make drinks great" F. says:

    Now Jase, if you would please just sit across from me on the subway wearing too-tight light denim on a hot day, you'd have my heart forever.

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    8/21/2007 Joolie "mzjoolz if you're nasty!" T. says:

    haaaaaaay! I MENTIONED THAT SONG FIRST!!! recognize! lol
    but yes, it's a horrible horrible thing. *shudders*

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    8/21/2007 William "The Social Whore" C. says:

    while tacky, i wouldnt care if Jessica Alba showed the outline of a 12" cock. She's just that hot.

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    8/21/2007 Diana B. says:

    not to speak of aardvark ankles

  23. 8/21/2007 Rachel "Lil Miss Giggles" A. says:

    Thank you all for the lovely images. I will now wash my eyes with soap and water.
    And what about when ppl have their pants riding in between the cracks as in @ss cracks. not cute either. nor when pants ride so low like plumber's crack.

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    8/21/2007 Joolie "mzjoolz if you're nasty!" T. says:

    oh god, i see that everyday, Rachel! girls with big-ol' booties... are SOOOO guilty of that. tis NOT hot, ya'll. wear some undies, too. pleh!

  24. 8/21/2007 Kate "bendy straws make drinks great" F. says:

    I walked up the steps in the subway tonight behind a man in skinny jeans. Every time he stepped up his ass crack was revealed to my oh-so-lucky eyes. Sigh.

    It ain't just big girls who think they can wear clothes that just ain't right.

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    8/21/2007 Joolie "mzjoolz if you're nasty!" T. says:

    so true, so true.
    blarrrrrrrrrrgh!

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    8/21/2007 Meg P. says:

    Anyone ever heard of a GUNT?

    I learn a lot on http://urbandictionary...

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    8/21/2007 Claire Y. says:

    oh my eyes... OH MY EYES!!

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    8/21/2007 Jonathan "Duck and Cover" K. says:

    Oh god, everything in my being told me not to click on this thread, and yet I did.  Oy.

  25. 8/21/2007 Michael "Weatness®™ 2012" F. says:

    I've heard of a GUNT.  Yup.  My friend has another term for it, not dissimilar.  :-)

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    8/21/2007 Joolie "mzjoolz if you're nasty!" T. says:

    omg- you people are convincing me to throw acid in my eyes!
    related to this topic= i SAW a moose knuckle today on the subway. *baaaaaaaaarf*
    how did i see it? the dude was standing while i was sitting... NOT a good time to look up.

  26. 8/21/2007 Kate "bendy straws make drinks great" F. says:

    Gunt is my new least favorite word.

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    8/21/2007 Jimmy "The Irrelevant" J. says:

    Hahahahha, this thread is hilarious.

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    8/21/2007 Julie "™ to THE" K. says:

    OMG OMG OMG!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  27. 8/21/2007 Michael "Weatness®™ 2012" F. says:

    Kate F, you're killing me.

  28. 8/21/2007 nikki c. says:

    moosenukkles  - name of a garage band in highschool i did a guest spot with;p

    moose knuckles...ben and jerry ice cream experiment that never made it to the shelves...nuts kept shrinking when cold

  29. 8/22/2007 Jen D. says:

    I sat down today on the train in the little 2 seater bench next to the door.

    la la la... dig in my purse to find my ipod.
    la la la... put the earbuds in my ears...
    la la la... hear the sexy voice of Park Hyo Shin fill my ears
    la la la... Look up..

    and BAMN!

    2 fat cameltoes staring at me.

    *gag*
    *barf*
    *ack*

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    8/22/2007 Jase "dark and stormy" E. says:

    Jenifer:  what were they saying to each other?

  30. 8/22/2007 Jen D. says:

    Jase: probably agreeing on the fact that they both need air because they feel like they are sufficating. Oh and, I think one mentioned something about the crappy weather. :/

    I mean seriously, I've seen enough cameltoes in the last few days. Enough to keep Vagasil in business for many years to come.

  31. 8/22/2007 Jen D. says:

    *hump*

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    8/22/2007 Joolie "mzjoolz if you're nasty!" T. says:

    fo reeeeeeeeals, though.
    don't they get madd infections and such if you keep fabric all up in your crevices all day? that's sick, son.

  32. 1/8/2008 Moby D. says:

    here's a youtube video that covers all the Yelp bases: Cameltoes, asian men, etc

    http://www.youtube.com...

  33. 1/8/2008 Mel F. says:

    STRONGLY FUCKING DISAGREE DON'T EVER SAY THAT'S HOT AGAIN EVER

    that's my response.  
    now i'll go fix my camel toe so i don't get fired.

  34. 1/8/2008 Jando "Alex" S. says:

    Dude, I'm dying just reading this thread.  LOVE it.  hahahahaha!!!!!!

    Tom:  You're still the man, I love it.

  35. 1/8/2008

    This Yelper's account has been closed.

  36. 1/8/2008 John "uncle JO" O. says:

    Like the word Gunt, it is the same as my other favorite word, Fup.

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    1/8/2008 Danielle "Sky*" C. says:

    Jen "The Gijibeh" D. says:

    *hump*

    --------

    lololol your hilarious!

  37. 1/8/2008 andy t. says:

    Geeze, the things you see on the subway?

    Still, if it's a hot woman and she's showing it, I'm a-looking.....

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    1/8/2008 Teddy "Locovore" N. says:

    Jessica Alba DOES NOT have a moose knuckle........There goes my day dreaming ;)

  38. 1/8/2008 Jando "Alex" S. says:

    Andy:  Tickle Tickle.

  39. 1/8/2008 Jen D. says:

    i can't watch that video from work, but I'll check it as soon as I get home. :) Thanks CB!!!

    Andy - EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

  40. 1/8/2008 andy t. says:

    Haha, Jen, sorry!

  41. 1/8/2008 andy t. says:

    It's like you said, hard to turn away, plus educational....(-;

  42. 1/8/2008 Kate "the present king of france" T. says:

    This meshes neatly with something i noticed today walking down 8th avenue: in men's underwear poster/magazine ads, the men are always, of course, sporting a large bulge in their tightie-whities... and it always looked odd to me. Then i noticed today that the bulge is always perfectly, completely smooth. No mooseknuckles at all, not even the faintest hint of non-uniformity. Very fake looking, at least to my fairly unpracticed eye.

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    1/8/2008 Miguel "Is HELLA Back" d. says:

    i strongly disagree. you want to leave SOMETHIN for the imagination, right?

    and OH MY GOD call me oedipus rex because i just gouged my eyes out with plastic spoons.

  43. 1/8/2008 euge "fanfuckingtastic" l. says:

    i heard camel toes are good steamed and dressed with a little balsamic reduction.

  44. 1/8/2008 euge "fanfuckingtastic" l. says:

    moose knuckles are good in gom tang... you are looking at some good eats yo. do gani gom tang... yummers

  45. 1/8/2008 euge "fanfuckingtastic" l. says:

    damn why cant i find that camel toe parody song to flo-ridas low.

    babys got a camel toooo oh oh oh oh ohhhh.

  46. 1/8/2008 Jen D. says:

    you got issues Euge...

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