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Are NYC women in their late 20's the black sheep of the dating world?  And do they bring it upon themselves?

Category: Relationships & Dating

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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

My buddy and I had an interesting convo at lunch today (stemming from some lady drama) and came to the conclusion that women in their late 20's are just undatable.  The combination of being jaded by failed relationships and dating in a city where they outnumber single men while many of their friends have either gotten engaged or married pretty much makes them into neurotic messes with way too much baggage and loudly ticking biological clocks.  

By contrast, girls in their early 20's are usually out there to have fun and aren't as demanding.  Women in their early 30's usually have been through it all yet have gotten past the insecurities of their youth and know what they want and how to get it... without the drama or craziness.  

I realize that this is extremely oversimplified and making sweeping generalizations based upon age and geographic location, but I do think that in the broad sense much of this is true.  

Thoughts?
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10/30/2007 Caroline A. says:

I think you are undatable.
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10/30/2007 michelle "champagne bubblehead" i. says:

wow. is this really how men think in NY?

i live in Cali now and dont feel that vibe out here..... i'm in my 30's and have no problems in my dating life. in fact the last few guys wanted something "more serious" than i did.

my goal in life is not to be married. i'm enjoying myself and will settle into a relationship when i'm ready.

i'm wondering now if i should re-consider my move to NY : (
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10/30/2007 Chris J. says:

Jason you're screwed. Yelpers hate debating generalities especially observed female tendencies.  Good luck.  You may have some valid points that I may or may not agree with, but in my humble opinion you are SCREWED!
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

michelle:  Quite to the contrary.  I've dated several women in their early 30's and find them to be wonderful.  It's quite refreshing to date someone who is comfortable in their own skin, is established in their career, and knows what they want out of life.
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10/30/2007 Joe "I pick up poop" O. says:

I concur with J.
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10/30/2007 R "Meat baby" P. says:

If by undatable you mean "unwilling to casually date without thinking about the future" then you might have a point. Categorizing all women in their late 20s as "neurotic" seems a bit off and more than a tad boorish.

Based on your prior posts, it's pretty clear that you and "your boys" are just looking to have a good time and to fuck around. Nothing wrong with that. But I wouldn't then start demeaning women who don't fall in line with your needs.
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10/30/2007 michelle "champagne bubblehead" i. says:

i think all women are very different..... we all want different things. just like men.
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10/30/2007 T B. says:

My thinking on women from New York is this: they always think they can find something better, probably because of how many people there are.  If you're cute you're not hot.  If you're tall then you're not muscular enough.  If you have a good paying job you work too hard and don't have a life.  If you make no money you're a slacker.  I've heard it all.

I def agree with Jason about the girls in their early twenties.  But I'd probably categorize the next wave of girls 27 to about 34 having the mentality I described above.

I don't think it's coincidental that I've never dated a girl from Manhattan.  Long Island, New Jersey, Queens, Brooklyn are all goldmines.  But based on my experience, I'll pass on Manhattan.
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10/30/2007 michelle "champagne bubblehead" i. says:

most women i know arent looking to "land" a guy..... yes i know some who are. i think anyone (male or female) who is desparate to "be in a relationship" is going to scare off potential dates.

i know i've dated a couple of guys like this.... they wanted a girlfriend so bad it freaked me out. i ran as fast i as could.

its a turn off. in either gender..... or at any age
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10/30/2007 Victor "Let off some steam, Bennett" L. says:

As long as they find American Gladiators awesomely appealing, it's ok in my book.
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10/30/2007 Suzanne G. says:

maybe the only women who will put up with you are neurotic.
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10/30/2007 Atif "Mister Dessert" I. says:

Rocky: You rule the relationship threads. Always the voice of sanity. Salud!
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

Rocky:  As the result of having a sister in her late 20's in the city I've gotten to see both sides of the dating game.  No matter how boorish i may come across on the talk forum, I do have sympathy for those women trying to settle down and work towards their future with a partner, but at the same time I also know how they approach it and think that is part of the problem.  I hear constantly from my sister, her friends (whom I'm also very close with), and coworkers about their distaste for being single and overwhelming desire to just find someone to settle down with.  I think they put way too much pressure on themselves to conform to their friends who are getting engaged and married left and right, and thus poison many possible good relationships.
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10/30/2007 Lauren "The Prodigal Daughter" S. says:

Jason, are you the friend The R. is always talking with about relationships?
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10/30/2007 T B. says:

Chest I agree with you whole-heartedly.  It's really discouraging dealing with women with that mindset.  It's like if I go on a date instead of being excited for it I already know what the outcome will be lol...
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10/30/2007 Fabian T. says:

This thread is going to be really fun to read. And that is all I'm going to say on this topic.
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

Lauren: nope, but I like him already cause he agrees with me :)
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10/30/2007 JoJo "the Jo-jitsu Master" C. says:

I am a woman in my late 20's and am nothing like what Jason H describes.  And quite honestly niether are my friends but hey if you and your boys want to 'weed us out" us out because of your stupid stereo types I would like to thank you for doing my and my girls the favor of self selecting yourselves out of our dating pool and saving us the trouble.  

There is nothing wrong with having dating preferences, I have my own too. Date who ever you want to date but posting baseless stereotypes as fact however is not cool.
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10/30/2007 Atif "Mister Dessert" I. says:

I love this thread, already. Whenever I am running out of materials for the Mark W diaries, something new presents itself. And I am committed to Chris for the fifth edition. Thank yous, all around.
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10/30/2007 Lauren "The Prodigal Daughter" S. says:

The combination of being jaded by failed relationships and dating in a city where they outnumber single men while many of their friends have either gotten engaged or married pretty much makes them into neurotic messes with way too much baggage and loudly ticking biological clocks.

--

I as a woman in her early 20s do find myself to be your definition of women in their late 20s? Perhaps then I am this neurotic mess that you speak of, but you'll probably never know because I don't date white boys ;)

http://www.yelp.com/to...

in the same vein ... I prefer "sheep of color" as a more politically correct reference. (SNARK)
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

Kitty C:  I was merely pointing out stereotypes as fodder for conversation and debate.... and in fact several times I stated that those generalizations were merely the opinions of my friend and I.
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

Kitty C:  I was merely pointing out stereotypes as fodder for conversation and debate.... and in fact several times I stated that those generalizations were merely the opinions of my friend and I.
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10/30/2007 laura "sorry not around a whole lot" g. says:

Personally, I don't think age really makes a difference. I feel someone could be in their 40's and still be wishywashy. It all just depends on what that person is looking for and finding what makes them happy.
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10/30/2007 Lauren "The Prodigal Daughter" S. says:

feel you. retraction. i would like to have the term boy stricken from the record and replaced with the term guy.
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

Chest.Rockwell: thanks for the support... but as we all know here that although I have the body of a full grown man, I have the maturity level of a boy.  Though, "white boy" did seem overly harsh and demeaning.
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10/30/2007 Atif "Mister Dessert" I. says:

See, now I am totally confused! I thought Jason had talked about his "boys" in an earlier thread :)

Chill, Will. You've come a long way.
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10/30/2007 Lauren "The Prodigal Daughter" S. says:

i apologize. mostly jokes. hope everyone can take to this kind of policing regarding derogatory and demeaning terms. i don't like being called a bitch or ho or chick or girl either. you know ...

for the record.
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10/30/2007 Lauren "The Prodigal Daughter" S. says:

women are a dime a dozen. some will. some won't. who cares?
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10/30/2007 Steven "Snarky™" V. says:

yawn
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10/30/2007 Maria "theShizzknit" W. says:

I thought his name was Snarky?
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10/30/2007 Lauren "The Prodigal Daughter" S. says:

snark
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10/30/2007 daniel m. says:

I could see where you are coming up with this theory Jason and you might be right for a certain girl.. I would say that if a girl was in her late 20's and hung in the Murray Hill drinking every night, still think I am in college, circles they would be pretty used up now..

But there are also women in there late 20's who have decided to have careers, travel, have just moved to the city or gotten out of long relationships..There are a lot of women who dont frequent cheese ball bars and look to hook up with any guy who wants to sell them a line of bullshit..

But this certain girl by the age of 30 who has been used by countless guys and is most likely diseased and suffering from functioning alcoholism might not be the best catch.
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10/30/2007 Joe "Pickles" G. says:

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10/30/2007 Steven "Snarky™" V. says:

Chest.Rockwell I. says:

So says Sneery, the 8th dwarf.
------------------------------ ----------
good one!
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

actually the generalizations were based upon both a sampling of those girls (the ones my friends and I meet... though rarely at murray hill bars as we do not frequent them) as well as girls in their late 20's (i.e. my sister and her friends) who are all accomplished professionals with good heads on their shoulders with regards to almost everything but relationships.  These are not girls who go out to seedy bars or hook up with everyone that moves... they are girls who go out on tons of dates via being set up, meeting people through activities and work, and even online dating....
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10/30/2007 Lauren "The Prodigal Daughter" S. says:

daniel ... do you wanna go out sometime?
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10/30/2007 Suzanne G. says:

@Will: weren't you the one who said he hooked up with prostitutes and hoodrats as a teenager?
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10/30/2007 roderick A. says:

Jason H. says: and in fact several times I stated that those generalizations were merely the opinions of my friend and I.
******
ohhhh, much better.
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10/30/2007 Lauren "The Prodigal Daughter" S. says:

hahhahahahahahahahahahahaha... ...
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10/30/2007 Alex "Jando" S. says:

Isn't that a societal thing though Will?  What about the men who "have had COUNTLESS sexual encounters with many, MANY women?"
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10/30/2007 Meg P. says:

Quoting TB:

My thinking on women from New York is this: they always think they can find something better, probably because of how many people there are.  If you're cute you're not hot.  If you're tall then you're not muscular enough.  If you have a good paying job you work too hard and don't have a life.  If you make no money you're a slacker.  I've heard it all.

______________________________ ___________________

I would argue that the same generalization can be applied to the men in this city. If you're not a 10 on all scales, the man is looking around while you're on the date with him for his next option.

Dating is like musical chairs. In small towns, you can see all of your options and you only have a limited time to grab something that might work, if you wait too long, you are stuck without a chair, or one with kids. (not that there is anything wrong with kids)

In this city, the chairs are endless, you could try out hundreds, or thousands and never run out of somewhere to sit, the music never stops and there are always enough chairs to go around.
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10/30/2007 roderick A. says:

Jando S. says: What about the men who "have had COUNTLESS sexual encounters with many, MANY women?"
******
oh yeah, the stories I could tell.

whoops, wrong window.
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10/30/2007 michelle "champagne bubblehead" i. says:

jando is right.

used up man-hoes = no thanks
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10/30/2007 Lauren "The Prodigal Daughter" S. says:

I blame my parents for me being a "sheep of color"
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

wanting to get married is not the problem... the problem is when they put so much pressure on themselves to find the guy to marry that they become neurotic over the process.  It takes time to find someone and weeding through a lot of rejects.  You can either roll with the process and enjoy it or get crazy about it.  I was merely commenting that many girls in their late 20's seem to go the latter route and pay dearly for it.
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10/30/2007 Alex "Jando" S. says:

Jason:  Great point.
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10/30/2007 daniel m. says:

Why do so many lawyers seem so emotianlly retarded...

Is it that they spent so much time studying that they missed some sort of social connection processing?  

Or is the lack of social processing what caused them to do all the studying..

I have many lawyer friends and deep down most of them are good people, they just are so socially ackward and off..

It certainly helps you be a better lawyer but, often times a lonely person..
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

dan, I'm assuming that is a crack at me being a lawyer (as it says it in my profile).  I actually do very well socially and have had several emotionally rewarding long term relationships.  However, at this point in my life that is not what I'm looking for and I don't give women the illusion I am.  I don't see how bringing up a discussion point for further analysis on a discussion board is being socially awkward.
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10/30/2007 Kate "bendy straws make drinks great" F. says:

Maybe your sister, her friends, and the women you and your buddy know seem neurotic because of their proximity to and relationships with boys like you and your friends. If I had friends who made sweeping generalizations about women like you did, or rather, held sweepingly general opinions of them, I'd probably get a bit neurotic too.

Why do you care about women who fall into the baggage laden, clock ticking demographic you speak of? Not enough flighty 20 year olds or sexually peaked MILFs out there for ya?
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10/30/2007 Lauren "The Prodigal Daughter" S. says:

who's a lawyer?
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10/30/2007 R "Meat baby" P. says:

daniel...how did this turn to lawyers? (not that I'm disagreeing with you).
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

Kate F:  I thought it was just an interesting conversation i had at lunch and figured it would make for a lively discussion on here.  Judging from the responses, it obviously has.  

Lauren:  I'm a lawyer
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10/30/2007 bO w. says:

Lawyers have time to yelp (at work)?
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

bOb in a bOx .. says:

Lawyers have time to yelp (at work)?
------------------------------ --------------------------
most days... helps to pass the time when i'm taking phone calls.  I like multitasking
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10/30/2007 Lauren "The Prodigal Daughter" S. says:

oh cool. one of my good friends is in law school.
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10/30/2007 Dana "Don't front, act like ya know" H. says:

Im 31, not single anymore, but when I was single and in my late 20s, I was not nutso about falling in love and living happily ever after with a man.

I always spoke of the horrible stigma that followed women in their late 20s and early 30s (actually im a bit suprised its gone as low as women in their late 20s, as it has always been associated with women in their 30s) - and how insane it was to find a man, just to "hang out and see what happens" because either they were dead set against ANY sort of emotional commitment from the get go and even the remote possibility would be ludacris or ready to have a baby next week.  Sound familar?  Women are exactly the same.  Only difference is, women dont seem to gloat about the fact that they arent looking for a relationship and dont have the attitude that follows it...like "AS IF....ughh"  Men seem to look down upon women who want to get emotionally close to a man and are often perceived to be weak or needy for doing so.

Oh well, this debate will never end.  Feel how you want, do what you want and dont worry about anyone else.  Just live your life.
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10/30/2007 Lauren "The Prodigal Daughter" S. says:

why aren't any hoodrats policing will for calling you such a derogatory term. hoodrats of the world stand up for yourselves dammit.
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

Lauren:  they're too busy making babies in their parent's bedroom while they are at work to be policing yelp
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10/30/2007 Joe "I pick up poop" O. says:

Jason - whats your sister and her friends look like?!  ha ha....just kidding (suprised none of the single guys here haven't asked yet).  

anyho - when I was dating I detested the very typical -"too clingy too fast" girl.....there were many and as TB so eloquently mentioned, I am with him on the date any chick OUTSIDE NYC.  they've watched too many episodes of Sex and the City they think the red head is remotely cute (busted if you ask me).
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10/30/2007 Heather H. says:

I blame everything on Carrie Bradshaw.
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

The R:  My sis is actually very attractive, though she's actually seriously involved with a great guy now.  Can't say the same for most of her single friends (though their numbers are dwindling lately), but that may just be due to the fact that I've known them all for too long to be attracted to them.  

Oh yeah, and my sis met her bf after years of serial dating in manhattan when she decided to just relax with it all and went up to her college reunion to have fun with some friends.  There is something to say for just going with the flow.
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10/30/2007 Vi "Va Va Voom" V. says:

This is such an interesting topic! i'll definitely be reading

The R. - Funny you brought up Miranda (the red head in Sex and the City). It appears to me that the super feminist women,who are super cynical about men and relationships, tend to love her. And i know many guys who find her personality absolutely unbearable.
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10/30/2007 Lauren "The Prodigal Daughter" S. says:

Jason H. says:

There is something to say for just going with the flow.

--

I absolutely agree. I live in my head way too much to say honestly that I go with the flow. Maybe I'll work on that. Any tips that don't involve illegal activity?
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

Lauren:  when I find myself starting to overanalyze things, I just get out and do something to take my mind off it.  Usually that involves hitting the gym or going for a bike ride.  I used to find that yoga helps as well.  Hopefully you find something that works for you, but I always see things a little clearer after I step away from the situation for a while.
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10/30/2007 Lauren "The Prodigal Daughter" S. says:

Working out has been great for it, I think I'll work it into my daily routine instead of just going when I have time.
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10/30/2007 Jennifer M. says:

I gotta say Jason, I'm a woman, and honestly - I don't find you're comments all that unreasonable or untrue. They're generalizations - but you admitted so yourself. The same can be said for men of the ages you mentioned above.  

Although, I'd disagree with you on one point: I think the older you get the more neurotic one can become especially if you haven't found "the one" or had a string of unhappy relationships. This, I believe, feeds neurotic thoughts and behaviors. The older you get, the more you become more aware and reflective of your mortality - and that makes some people scramble to find a mate! (male or female).  And if years of not settling down you start to wonder what it is about your behavior that may be driving people away - another factor which feeds the neurotic beast.

I'm in my early thirties, and to be completely honest, I do find dating harder and I find myself more neurotic than in my carefree early twenties.  For all the reasons above.

Dating. Good times. Good times.
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10/30/2007 Adrian P. says:

what the hell is this?

it's like bob b. reincarnates every other month...
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10/30/2007 J O. says:

Too true, Adrian, too true...
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10/30/2007 Cheryl D. says:

WTF?
im in my late 20s and perfectly datable
my married/engaged friends love their life
and I love mine...

Jason I suggest  you and your friend instead of dating by age stop dating women w such bad self-confidence
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

Cheryl:  neither of us actually discriminate based on age... we were just making conversation at lunch today and sharing some observations and making far reaching generalizations based upon those observations.  Just conversation fodder really...
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10/30/2007 Cheryl D. says:

mmmm... lunch whad you eat? im hungry
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10/30/2007 Cheryl D. says:

LOL Joe you goin to VT
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10/30/2007 Cheryl D. says:

valley tavern
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10/30/2007 Vi "Va Va Voom" V. says:

I recall earlier in the conversation, the early 20's girls got quite some bashing for being flighty and slutty.
i completely disagree.
i'm in my early 20s and so are most of my friends. and i can't say any of us are dating just for fun, meaning no one's sleeping around mindlessly. Yes, we know how to have fun and we do have a hell of a good time when we go party (i love to dance) but we always leave the bars with those we come with.
i just don't think its fair to say early 20s girls are slutty.
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10/30/2007 Cheryl D. says:

valley tavern
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10/30/2007 Joe "Pickles" G. says:

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10/30/2007 Dana "Don't front, act like ya know" H. says:

Marie:  Its not hate or jealousy.  You will know what is is when you turn 30 or so.  

Most people (that I know and myself included) hate growing old.  No one wants wrinkles or grey hair.  No one wants the metabolism of a 80yr old or the stress trying to find someone to settle down and have babies.  

I already have kids, so Im not hard up to have anymore.  And I am dealing with my age.  Im going to be 32 in a few months.  But I have  been told TWICE in the past two weeks (once by a friends out of town guest and once by another parent at my sons birthday party) that I looked around 24-25.  That made my week!  

Growing old sucks, but I quote a magnet on my fridge I bought in Portsmouth NH -- "The trick is to grow old without getting old" -- Casey Stengal
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10/30/2007 Cheryl D. says:

aww Marie B - your beauty is undeniable!!!
agree w Dana (who looks abs fabs too)- and id like to add

maybe they just didnt have as much fun as you are now and looking back, are mad at themselves
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10/30/2007 Sonny D. says:

thanks to this thread and a couple of others, i did NOT get anything done today at work!
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10/30/2007 Carrie C. says:

Sex and The City did ruin everything for single chicks.  The only reason Carrie was so obsessed is because she had all day to think about this crap.  Blame her for the back-backlash against women who do not get married when they are 24.
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10/30/2007 Liiisa "Facebook Fiend" C. says:

Jason H. says:

By contrast, girls in their early 20's are usually out there to have fun and aren't as demanding.  Women in their early 30's usually have been through it all yet have gotten past the insecurities of their youth and know what they want and how to get it... without the drama or craziness.

- - -

What exactly do you think happens during the undatable years between early 20s & early 30s?
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10/30/2007 T B. says:

Quoting TB:

My thinking on women from New York is this: they always think they can find something better, probably because of how many people there are.  If you're cute you're not hot.  If you're tall then you're not muscular enough.  If you have a good paying job you work too hard and don't have a life.  If you make no money you're a slacker.  I've heard it all.

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Quoting Meg C:

I would argue that the same generalization can be applied to the men in this city. If you're not a 10 on all scales, the man is looking around while you're on the date with him for his next option.

Dating is like musical chairs. In small towns, you can see all of your options and you only have a limited time to grab something that might work, if you wait too long, you are stuck without a chair, or one with kids. (not that there is anything wrong with kids)

In this city, the chairs are endless, you could try out hundreds, or thousands and never run out of somewhere to sit, the music never stops and there are always enough chairs to go around.
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Nope as I mentioned in another thread I look for 7's or better lol. Seriously though I don't think I'm a 10 so I don't necessarily look for a 10.

The games girls play are RIDICULOUS.  They all complain how there's no nice guys to date but when confronted with such a specimen they say irrational things like "Oh he's just a friend," "Oh he puts up with so much from me," or my favorite "Oh it'd ruin our friendship."

In my personal experiences if someone could just accept me for who I am instead of who I'm not, then there wouldn't be any games and I wouldn't still be single.
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10/30/2007 michelle "champagne bubblehead" i. says:

news break: whoa, just had an earthquake in san francisco...... it was small so dont worry. just wanted to break up the thread for a minute.

ok please carry on.
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

Melinda V. says:

Jason H - don't hate. You think you are a player when you are with the almost immature, inexperienced women in their early twenties.   Women in this age group probably don't have too many expectations to be met and in so doing fit into your scheme.
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I don't think I'm a player and I don't play games or mess around with girl's heads.  I am actually pretty open minded about who I date and thus have dated along a very broad spectrum of age and race.  The last 5 women I have dated have ranged from 22 through 31 (22,26,31,28,23).  They have been med and dental students, a lawyer, an artist, and one in the fashion business.  All obviously smart, some better in bed then others, some more emotionally stable than others, etc.  I found that the 28 and 31 yr olds were the only two to talk incessantly about their friends getting/being married and having kids and how they are fed up with the dating world and all the assholes out there, blah blah blah.  Not exactly the light hearted conversations I'd like to be enjoying with a woman I'm seeing.  The problem was that they were so wrapped up in the race with their friends to achieve the "family dream" that they lost sight of the road to get there.
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10/30/2007 Jason H. says:

Marie B. says:

I think Jason H is the black sheep of the dating world. But his absolute acceptance of his stance on women and dating is starting to grow on me... it is almost adorable, like the little dog that won't stop jumping up trying to take your food, and eventually you just can't help but give it to him. Undeniably obnoxious, yet endearingly unashamed.
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just be happy I'm not humping your leg
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10/30/2007 panayota "i am serious, and don't call me shirley" p. says:

methinks you and your friend are a couple of douche bags.
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10/30/2007 Tom B. says:

Just got home after a 16 hour day and I am going to save this one for tomorrow. Good night people.
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10/30/2007 Rhonda J. says:

i think a lot of our experiences with the opposite sex and largely due to our own choices/issues.  if you're meeting a-holes, then ask yourself what attracts you to these types of men.  if you're meeting desperate women who are looking to latch on to the first available man, well maybe, you're insecure and are looking for validation.

i think either sex can make this argument.  i've known many a desperate man in his late 20's look to settle down too quickly.  i've talked with them, dated a few and have had many friends who have as well.  I wouldn't however say it's due to an "age group" but rather they're just insecure regardless of gender.
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10/31/2007 Chris J. says:

@ Melinda: with all due respect, it didn't seem like he was seeking advice on how to deal with this "species" of women.  It appears he was simply trying to state an observation.

While his tact and word choice were certainly questionable, he seems to be providing a topic for discussion rather than searching for coaching tips.  

I don't think Jason is the "Next Pickup Artist", and I can see how many people (women of all ages in particular) would find this thread offensive, but keep in mind that he doesn't appear to be soliciting dates.

Ohh and Jason, me still thinks you're screwed.
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10/31/2007 Joe "I pick up poop" O. says:

Some of the women with venom on here need to chill.  Listen to Chris man, its just a thread and some of what people say (Jason included -you're STILL screwed bro) need to be taken in jest.  I think most comments are pretty accurate but also keep in mind that they are people's experiences.  

The few years I was dating in NY I felt the same was Jason does - most women in the early 20's just wanna party and get laid, mid 20's is in between and late 20's to early 30's were ready to find "the one." This is a FACT for me - not saying its like that with all the aforementioned age groups, just saying this is what I found in dating across the age spectrum.  The one that I am dating and living with now was very, very aloof right off the bat.  She was not looking for a relationship (she's early 30's btw) and neither was I - it worked perfectly.  Point being, date variety and date often - everything will work itself out in the end....
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10/31/2007 Jason H. says:

Chris and R, thanks for being voices of reason here.  This was NOT meant to be a post looking for advice, rather it was just musings on a particular subject.  Obviously many people here have difficulty detaching themselves emotionally from the topic and I apologize to anyone who felt wronged by this discussion, particularly anything I said during it.  However, I posted it to hear other people's opinions on the points being brought up and did not intend for it to become a thread where others feel the need to bash me personally.  I was not talking about anyone personally and would not stoop to that, and I would appreciate the same respect from members of this board.  

Hell maybe it was just my philosophy background rearing its ugly head... but I thought there could be a meaningful discussion without resorting to name calling.  Eh, methinks I'm still screwed anyhow.
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10/31/2007 Suzanne G. says:

Yelp is snarky. If you post a thread calling women in a certain age group neurotic, don't be surprised at the backlash that follows.
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10/31/2007 Chris J. says:

Jason, the damage you've caused isn't anything that a few beers couldn't remedy.  I enjoyed the thread and reactions. I still wouldn't recommend posting a thread entitled: "Who Wants to Take a Chance?"  You've undoubtedly struck a nerve with the ladies of yelp who go into pro feminism lecturing at the hint of someone describing the way they feel about situations (and in your case female dating tendencies). No yelp dates for you, not that it seems to matter for you as you didn't come on this forum to pick up a dime-piece yelper.  The bruises hurt, but not nearly as much as your bruised ego. Good luck.
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10/31/2007 Joe "I pick up poop" O. says:

Suzanne - I don't think he really gives a shit about the backlash, as mentioned he was just posting this to get some feedback.  Was some of the animosity warranted?  Sure, but if you read through, he pretty much defends most of what he's saying with respect and admiration towards the age groups singled out.  It's a talk thread - nothing to be taking personally.  If thats what floats your boat, great but it also makes great conversation....as you can clearly see in the number of replies.
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10/31/2007 Lauren "The Prodigal Daughter" S. says:

Why is everybody on their period today? Cool out. We're harmless.
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10/31/2007 Jason H. says:

Good thing it takes a lot more to cut down my ego.  Maybe I'll show up to a yelp event in the future (with my shank proof vest and cup on obviously) and toss back a few with the ladies of yelp to mend the fences.
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10/31/2007 cameron "dairy queen" t. says:

Based on some of his previous threads, me thinks Jason has a natural talent for pissing off the ladies. I don't necessarily agree with his statement but I have no problem with his opinions. I think Chris was right when he said it's the word choices that are offensive.

Jason: I don't know you at all so I don't want to assume anything. It's just that by the way you put things it sounds like you're immature & don't have a whole lot of respect for women. You probably remind most of the chicks on here of some ***hole that they dated or one of their girlfriends dated. Nothing personal, since most people haven't met you.
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10/31/2007 Jason H. says:

cameron:  I agree that my phrasing can often be polarizing and/or offensive but I feel that watering opinions or topics down too much does not create the same environment for passionate and thoughtful discourse.  I treat every person I meet with respect and am certainly not a mysoginist.  However, I also don't tiptoe around subjects for fear that they will alienate someone or piss someone off.  

Much of what I post here is due to boredom at work and the desire to be involved in a lively discussion...
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10/31/2007 Kurt S. says:

"If you post a thread calling women in a certain age group neurotic, don't be surprised at the backlash that follows."

Indeed. Jason is all kinds of wrong. Everyone knows all women are neurotic, not just a certain age group.

*ducks for cover* ;-P
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10/31/2007 daniel m. says:

"who's the black sheep, what's the black sheep, dont know who I am or when I am coming so you sleep"

Anyway, the bottom line is, if Jason goes to a yelp event, he is leaving with a lady who thinks she can change him..Haha..
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10/31/2007 Rhonda J. says:

he could always leave with a man who wants to control him ,,   ;)
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10/31/2007 Lauren "The Prodigal Daughter" S. says:

yowza!
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10/31/2007 Cheryl D. says:

jason no need to explain -
its only internet and yelp people

go to an event its my experience that snarkies are pretty nice in real life and online yelp personaltiies are oft just characters.
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10/31/2007 Julia "hiatus in random parts of Europe" N. says:

Purely biologically, women DO feel the pressure of time more acutely. Mid twenties is already past the optimal time for childbearing, so women with strong biological clocks can get a little desperate.
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10/31/2007 michelle "champagne bubblehead" i. says:

Julia says:

Purely biologically, women DO feel the pressure of time more acutely. Mid twenties is already past the optimal time for childbearing, so women with strong biological clocks can get a little desperate.

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um speak for yourself...... we all dont' feel the way you do. sorry no offense but please dont speak for all women. most women I know dont feel your desperation or need to reproduce.

just so you know : )
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10/31/2007 Julia "hiatus in random parts of Europe" N. says:

M.L.  - I don't think I really got the gist of what you said...?

michelle - I apologize if that did not come across as a generalization - I am merely stating that it is a fact that women are on a more urgent time schedule when it comes to childbearing. Of course, not everyone wants kids, or wants them young. I should have been more clear. :)
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10/31/2007 michelle "champagne bubblehead" i. says:

oh ok. thanks julia for clarifying
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10/31/2007 danny .. says:

wow, and i thought yelp was just for restaurant reviews... good luck with that one man. yeesh.
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10/31/2007 michelle "champagne bubblehead" i. says:

hahaha, exactly danny. intense shite going on here in NY. crazy
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11/1/2007 Mike "The-Boss" V. says:

Ah ha..Jason, you are brave soldier walking into a minefield blindfolded or a masochist.

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