Pet Names: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

12/28/2006 Laura "The Italian Scallion" M. says:

I have friends who've been a couple forever and don't seem to use each other's names anymore, they just call each other "honey." And they do it in that kind of 1950's-feeling way where you call someone "honey" even when you're mad at them for spilling your gin and tonic, which just sounds so weird when you're yelling.

My bf and I will use the occasional pet name, but not exclusively. Also sometimes I'll say something like, "Wow, that was a delicious little cupcake!" and he'll go "You're MY delicious little cupcake," which I find endearingly retarded. (I do the same thing to him.) Beyond that there's very little nicknaming, because his parents intentionally gave him a first name for which there are no nicknames. I have nicknames for a lot of my friends, though. And my roommate often calls me "bitchass" (in an affectionate way).

12/28/2006 Allix "granny sunglasses" T. says:

Honey's a wierd one--I don't quite ever feel ok about it.  I had an ex-boyfriend who was the most uptight person in the world (to a comic degree)--"honey" was as far as he ever came to a petname--but he only used it when he was mad or annoyed at me.  Now I can't stomach being called "honey" by anyone--I always feel like i'm being scolded.

12/28/2006 Greg "Dr Giggles" M. says:

They seem to happen naturally in all of my relationships, whether the pet name is cliched or not.  You can't force it. But if you could, I'd call my girlfriend "silly string can"

12/28/2006 Robert S. says:

I am super-guilty of using pet names for a lot of people... "Babycakes" has surfaced more than once.

I like to think of it as an endearing personalization for all the people about whom I care, but whose names escape me from time to time.

12/28/2006 Brian "Methy Hobo" D. says:

I was with my wife for 10 years before we got married, I - all the way up until right this very minute - have never called anything other than Lisa or Li - that's it. I do not respond to 'honey' or any of that shit. We are plenty affectioante, it comes across in tone of voice an dbody language not with stupid names.

I call one of my best friends Hump and another one Fudge Ass.

12/28/2006 Laura "The Italian Scallion" M. says:

Yeah I've never liked "honey" either. I think my preference is "babe," because it's not something my family ever calls me. "Baby" sounds too much like a pop song, though.

12/28/2006 Allix "granny sunglasses" T. says:

Fudge-Ass=awesome.  This might mean story time...

12/28/2006 Dachary "Raspberry" C. says:

I try to keep my pet  names on the humorous side, so as not to smother any poor guys with the cloying affection often implied when pet names are used. However, I'm with Laura on endearingly retarded play on words stuff (i.e. MY delicious little cupcake)... we usually giggle over how silly we sound, but still do it. Some of my former bfs would get a "y" added to the end of their names... i.e. Jeffy, Chrissy, Jimmy, but that doesn't work well for the current bf.

As far as petnames for me... the most offensive one EVER was by one of my ex bfs... he bought me an ipod (after we broke up, but that's another story) and had it engraved with "To the best girlfriend ever - Princess Dachary." EWWWW! Princess? WTF? I am most certainly *NOT* a princess. That was perhaps the most offensive and diminutive name anyone's *ever* called me. When I went through the "i'm way cool" phase, I would let people call me Goddess, but never Princess. Princess just says to me 'daddy's little rich girl, with a pair of pink Victoria's Secret sweats with princess in big letters across the ass' kinda spoiled petulant child. But I'm sure there are many women who would enjoy being called a princess, or treated like one, which just goes to say that it's all in the eye of the beholder.

But, of course, this engraving comes up with all the guys I date and the most recent ones have taken to using it to make fun of me. If I were the violent type, it'd earn my bf a punch in the arm... as it is, I just tickle him mercilessly. All in good fun, right?

12/28/2006 Brian "Methy Hobo" D. says:

ALLIx: Fudge Ass aka Fudgey aka Brownie - my buddy confided in me once that he was having frequent trips to teh bathroom for #2, so i acused him of just enjoying the act of going, like he enjoys stuffing his fat face with chocolate (we make fat jokes back and forth because we both have or had pudge guts)...thus Fudgey and Fudge Ass....

12/28/2006 Jocelyn "I am not Melissa A.!" C. says:

What a coincidence! I call my bf Fudge Ass!!! j/k... we don't really have pet names for each other, so much as just plain ol' nicknames and/or laziness in saying our whole names out loud. He usually calls me "Joss" and I usually just call him "Hey." :P

Okay, honestly... sometimes (and this is only done in the privacy of our own home) I'll call him Monsee, and sometimes he calls me Cheesan. But that's just between us.

Let the jokes begin.

12/28/2006 Greg "yes, but no thanks" O. says:

and here I thought this was about names for your pets... WHAT A LET DOWN.

kidding.

I have corny nicknames for the ladyfriend, but always done in a cute and lighthearted way.  To each their own.

12/28/2006 Brian "Methy Hobo" D. says:

No way Greg O, share with the class....come on now....I bet she calls you something like Tinky...;)

12/28/2006 Jocelyn "I am not Melissa A.!" C. says:

Awwwww.... Tinky. Is that short for Tinkerbell?

Wait... who am I to make fun? I just admitted my bf calls me Cheesan!!! :P

12/28/2006 Brian "Methy Hobo" D. says:

Fudge-Ass calls my wife (jokingly) Aunty Rum Drunk and me Uncle Scotchy around his 2 year old.

12/28/2006 Laura "The Italian Scallion" M. says:

Names for pets are another story. I like pets that are named after people. My cousin's dog is named after the ballet teacher she had when she was 4: "Miss Sarah." They have pictures of the dog in a tutu. The original Miss Sarah was puzzled but flattered. The same family used to have a dog named after their friend Mr. Curtis -- Curt the dog.

When I was a kid my grandma had a Siamese cat named Little Shit. When I got old enough to talk he had to be renamed "Little Bit."

12/28/2006 Brian "Methy Hobo" D. says:

Laura - could't agree more.

Pets - my cats Mr. Blue and (she came with this name...I SWEAR) Mandy (but shes obese so we just call her Fatty) and the dog is Jonesy

12/28/2006 Jocelyn "I am not Melissa A.!" C. says:

My cat's name is Sylvie. If we get another cat (I'm hoping!), we'll name it Parker. Pets with human names rock.

12/28/2006 Allix "granny sunglasses" T. says:

My dog's name is "Emme."  My youngest brother was "supposed to be" a girl, (bad sonograms) so my parents prepped their three children for the arrival of their sister "Emily" for months.  When William was born we were all surprised, but no one so much as my brother Tommy, who for months afterwards asked where his sister, "Emily" was (although he was very happy to have a little brother).

When it came time to name Emme a few years ago it seemed obvious that she should take the name of that long lost baby sister...

12/28/2006 Allix "granny sunglasses" T. says:

oh and Dachary--I hear you on Princess.  I never felt so awkward as when I was dating a guy who insisted on calling me that...

12/28/2006 steve "i'll give you an hour to stop that" n. says:

my g/f is tiny so i call her Pea, or Sweet Pea. i used to be with this chick who called me her personal ass licker which she shortened to PAL, well i turned it around to mean Playmates and Lovers. OMG! i sound so gay.

nevermind...

12/28/2006 Rob C. says:

My most embarassing name for a pet was the cat I named "Corky" when I was three. I loved the TV character, and didn't quite catch on the all the subtexts. So in high school (kitty lived to be 19!) my friends would make fun of my cat for having Down's Syndrome. Jerks.

As far as relationships, most of mine have been petname-free, except for the irritating nickname of "Bobbo" when I was 17. Ugh. I had one girlfriend who called me "hun," but it was more because she was a gentle Canadian who called everyone that. I don't really pay them too much mind, sometimes they happen. The only thing I hate is "Daddy" -- happened during sex once with an old gf. Please, please, please leave me out of your psuedo-incest, mmkay?

12/28/2006 Jocelyn "I am not Melissa A.!" C. says:

Being called "daddy" during sex must be super-disturbing. Why do people do shit like that?! That's crazy talk.

12/28/2006 L D. says:

I've been known to let the babe/baby/sweetie slip out on occassion, as does my fella. For some reason I just can't help myself. Sweetie usually sneaks through clenched teeth when I'm pissed off. That prevents me from saying asshole mother-you-know-what.

Jocelyn, a guy once asked me to call him daddy during sex. That guy was quite the head case.

12/28/2006 Allix "granny sunglasses" T. says:

Ditto on the babe/baby--that's what sparked this whole conversation in the first place.

12/28/2006 Dachary "Raspberry" C. says:

Oh, names for pets, eh?

Well, my first doggy was named Tyler, after a Quaker Oats commercial (hey, I was 7, gimme a break.)

Second doggy at 19 was named Gir, from Invader Zim (because he sounded like a robot puppy when he used to growl as a wee doggy.) Third doggy was named Serendipity, but we called her Sarah (and Serendipity-do-da, and random other variations) and fourth doggy was named Amstel. We got him from the humane society, and his name was already Amstel when we got him... he struck us as not the brightest boy, so we were afraid that if we changed his name he wouldn't figure it out.

Kitties - first kitty was named Kitten. Second and Third kitties, which we had simultaneously, started out to be Kit and Kat, but became Longsox and Shortsox, because that was the only way we could tell them apart. "Which one do you have there?" "This is longsocks." "Which one was longsocks, Kit or Kat?" "I don't remember." Longsox and Shortsox it was.

12/28/2006 Sarah R. says:

I had an ex ask me to call him daddy in bed. I looked at him and said, "No fucking way."

12/28/2006 Laura "The Italian Scallion" M. says:

I'm glad no one's ever asked me to call him "daddy." Especially since one guy was borderline old enough to BE my daddy... ahem. TMI.

I'm tempted to take this thread into "weird stuff you've overheard the neighbors yelling during sex" territory, but that doesn't seem work-appropriate. Or fair to my neighbors, who are nice enough.

12/28/2006 Allix "granny sunglasses" T. says:

I kind of feel like asking:
   "Is anyone out there ok with calling/being called daddy?" (or mommy as the case may be?)

12/28/2006 Laura "The Italian Scallion" M. says:

Dirty talk yes, daddy talk no.

12/28/2006 Brian "Methy Hobo" D. says:

Are we all old enough for the adult section of Yelp?

I don't EVER want to be called, daddy or tiger or anything along those lines during no-no time.

12/28/2006 Jim O. says:

My girlfriend calls me 'pumpkin'.  I have no idea why, other than my vague resemblence to a gourd.  I have referred to her as 'my little frenchie'.  Babe and baby go back and forth as well.

I call my dog 'pooper' sometimes.

I will immediately stop what I am doing (yes, that!) if ever referred to as "daddy".

12/28/2006 Allix "granny sunglasses" T. says:

so is "baby" a petname, or is it just being affectionate?

12/28/2006 Jocelyn "I am not Melissa A.!" C. says:

I call my bf "baby" when I want something, i.e. "baby, can you get me something to drink from the fridge since you're already standing up? Thanks!" :D

I'm not sure if that's being affectionate, but it's definitely not a petname.

12/28/2006 Mark "Strungout On Booty" S. says:

I know this girl and I call her "Polpetta" which means "meatball" in Italian. I think its funny. She doesn't like it so much but who cares about her opinion, she's a woman. :)

12/28/2006 Mark "Strungout On Booty" S. says:

Just kidding ladies.

12/28/2006 Greg "yes, but no thanks" O. says:

We actually call each other pewp/poop/poopy/poopa.  It stemmed from a joke about "Katie-poo" and poo-bear, etc.

And I can't believe I just admitted that.

And Brian, wtf is up with Tinky? o.O

12/28/2006 Allix "granny sunglasses" T. says:

Greg: you call each other that in FRONT of other people?!  To each his own I guess.  

and Mark, "polpetta" sounds cute--until you realize that you are calling a girl a big tubby hunk of meat...but I guess it's all in how you say it.

12/28/2006 Mark "Strungout On Booty" S. says:

Allix : Women are meat, silly. :)

12/28/2006 Brian "Methy Hobo" D. says:

Greg: I have no idea, it just came out.

12/28/2006 Greg "yes, but no thanks" O. says:

Alli - no, it's a private thing... but now it's as private as the intarweb... so....

And thanks, Brian.  or should I call you SHMOOPY PANTS?! ( no clue either )

12/28/2006 Melissa "Fuckin" A. says:

Everything is "moops" to me and I have no idea why. My roommate's cat, my boyfriend, cute toys, etc...

It gets confusing: "Moops go get the moops over there and her little moop toys."

I think I was dropped on my head. I'm also a girl, so I've got that going for me...

12/28/2006 Allix "granny sunglasses" T. says:

Melissa you're a girl?! ::gasp:: I thought you were a moops...i'm so friggin' confused...

12/28/2006 Melissa "Fuckin" A. says:

Moops T.,

I'm also a meatball.

Sincerely,
Moops A.

12/28/2006 Jocelyn "I am not Melissa A.!" C. says:

Schmoopy moops-pants.

12/28/2006 Mark "Strungout On Booty" S. says:

WooHooo! I am telling you guys meatball and/or Polpetta is gonna catch on like a mofo.  Next thing you know some Hollywood power couple is going to name their daughter, Polpetta. You'll see, you all will!

12/28/2006 Melissa "Fuckin" A. says:

If I didn't know what Polpetta means now, I'd think it was cute for a dog. That and Pamplemousse is good.

12/28/2006 Erin G. says:

Brian D: Aunty Rum Drunk and Uncle Scotchy. perfect. this is what i'm talking about. those are spectacular.

Along these lines I call two friends Stabby McWadsworth and Crazy McPsycho, and toss around Whiny McCries-a-Lot for particularly annoying people.

Dearest friends are called Peanut, in a high pitched voice if i am really happy to see them.

and the only petname that has ever universally stuck for me is Princess. hmm, wonder what that could imply?

12/28/2006 Jocelyn "I am not Melissa A.!" C. says:

My best friend sometimes calls me Pumpkin and Darling for no reason other than that she's weird, but that's why I love her. :D

12/28/2006 Brian "Methy Hobo" D. says:

Erin G: Holy shit, I know this guy who my friends and I have renamed: Sir Dandy Whines-a-lot!!

12/28/2006 Lauren "Wino" W. says:

My friend and her, now ex, boyfriend used to call each other "Pookie Butt". What is that!? The worst nickname ever. I wanted to gag. SO glad she's moved on from "pookie butt".

12/29/2006 Allix "granny sunglasses" T. says:

Pookie butt?! Are you serious?

Two of my close friends are about to get married--for years they called eachother "Putty" (short for "potatoe") and "Pineapple."  Now, thankfully, Pineapple is out---Putty has stuck but become an inside joke amongst all of our friends.

Also gross--too friends who shorten their own names and add "ey" to the end.  They're fellow yelpers, so I won't elaborate too greatly.  But too illustrate, if their names were "Marvin" and "Tarin" they'd become "Marv-ey" and "Tar-ey"---said in really high pitched squeaky voices while they were baby-talking to each other.

12/29/2006 Kirs P. says:

Alex calls me 'baby' or 'girl.' (Never together, though).  I usually call him 'love' or 'sexy' or 'handsome' (ex: "hey handsome/sexy/love, come over here and get some lovin'")

12/29/2006 Becki "Puts on lotion with a Mr Magoo paint-by-number kit" W. says:

I ask two things of people naming their cats..... no names that sound like baby talk and no names that are physical descriptions (ie Silver, Spot, Stripey)

I was in  a Shakespeare mind when i named mine (Othello, Portia) but I am not making that suggestion... in fact they usually go by their nicknames now (Lenny, Meatloaf)

12/29/2006 Alex "Prom Queen" R. says:

I only do that because I can't remember her name.

12/29/2006 Becki "Puts on lotion with a Mr Magoo paint-by-number kit" W. says:

Oh... oops.... just went off the title... my bad.

I keep with the no "baby-talk" nicknames, but basically anything that doesnt make YOu want to gag and you are willing to answer to for a long time...    Personally, princess and pumpkin make me want to barf, but it is a personal taste thing.

12/29/2006 Mark "Strungout On Booty" S. says:

Becki W.
Sweetie, Honey, Darling, dollface. I think you misunderstood the thread. :(

12/29/2006 Becki "Puts on lotion with a Mr Magoo paint-by-number kit" W. says:

Mark - hence the retraction and update

12/29/2006 Allix "granny sunglasses" T. says:

Mark--just curious, what does "Polpetta" call you?

12/29/2006 Mark "Strungout On Booty" S. says:

She calls me Marka, I think. I don't really listen when she speaks.

12/29/2006 Melissa "Fuckin" A. says:

haha...Mark you sound exactly like my brother--who is also named Mark.

12/29/2006 Natasha A. says:

I had a friend that called her bf "pookie" as well and it was wierd and gross. In general, pet names make other peopel feel wierd when used in public. It should be a totally private thing. And yes..things like honey and sweetie are especially gross.

12/29/2006

This post was removed because the yelper who wrote it has closed their Yelp account and is no longer a registered yelper.

12/29/2006 Becki "Puts on lotion with a Mr Magoo paint-by-number kit" W. says:

but were those popular with them before they became your ex.

I actually affectionately referred to someone I was dating as "jackass" because of the Jeremy Piven-spewed tirade in Serendipity where he encourages jackass-behavior when it comes to expressions of love.

12/29/2006 Dachary "Raspberry" C. says:

See, the thing is...

I think pet names are annoying and syrupy and dripping with retarded affection.

But, especially lately, I find myself using them with distressing frequency. I just can't seem to help myself. I need an AA for pet names... someone get me a shock collar, please.

12/29/2006 Allix "granny sunglasses" T. says:

I think sometimes they just end up being an accidental extension of your personality.  I have no *real pet name for my current beau, but everyonce in awhile I catch myself (not in public) pulling the "baby" or "babe," card.  I just can't help it.  When I do start using things like "shmoopy," or "my man" or whatever (in public or private), I give all Yelpers free license to severely admonish and/or beat me.

12/29/2006 Allix "granny sunglasses" T. says:

...especially "Moops," "Pumpkin," and "Princess Dachary"