- Restaurants |
- Nightlife |
- Shopping |
- Movies |
- All
Uptowner
- Hours:
Mon-Thu 11 am - 2 am
Fri 11 am - 2:30 am
Sat 12 pm - 2:30 am
Sun 12 pm - 2 am
- Accepts Credit Cards:
- No
- Price Range:
-
$
- Good for Groups:
- Yes
- Outdoor Seating:
- Yes
- Music:
- DJ, Live, Music Videos, Juke Box
- Best Nights:
- Fri, Sun, Sat
- Happy Hour:
- Yes
- Alcohol:
- Full Bar
- Smoking:
- Yes
- Coat Check:
- No
- Wheelchair Accessible:
- No
10 reviews for Uptowner
10 reviews in English
-
Review from Stephen M.
Milwaukee, WI
1/22/2012
Even have one of those moments when you walk in the door of a bar, the music is quiet, and a dozen people all turn and look at you in the doorway? You pause for a second thinking "This isn't where I parked my car" and there's this long awkward eyeballing going on, then they sort of accept you and go back to their drinks and conversations? That was the second time I went there. In it's own weird way, it felt like I was allowed into some sort of collective. It also made me wonder what could have transpired differently.
My friend Greg brought me here the first time. I'd worked a ridiculous long shift from open the upstairs bar at brunch straight through to closing the downstairs bar at dinner at Roots. Since this was done as a favor to him, he met up to buy me drinks after and we went here around midnight.
Four of us downed a bunch of shots and beers and played pool really, really badly til they shut down. It's not a big bar, but it's a bar with a lot of history, including some of the guys who might as well have plaques with their names applied to the barstools they've been occupying for centuries now. Sober bartenders are a pleasant change. Meeting people who you'd never even think to seek out or talk to in normal daylight is also a plus.
I like this as a local spot, and I like coming here with people who aren't necessarily down with bars that exist off the beaten path. Watching them have those same sorts of moments in the door is amusing as all hell.Listed in: Version 2012, The Yelp 100
-
Review from Ben S.
Fit in like a regular
Gather some good yarns to tell
Have a shot with the bartender
Witnessed a long conversation-inducing traffic accident here. And a World Cup qualifier. And some solid billiard games. And heard some great classic jazz tracks. All before heading out for a pontoon riverboat cruise.
Early afternoon drinking at its near-finest. Worth seeing and experiencing to create your own stories - guaranteed you'll gather some, and smile to yourself as you recount them. -
Review from Nelson S.
7/14/2010
This place is an absolute Dive, and I mean that in the best way.
My favourite haunt for awhile, you never know what you'll find here. There are always interesting characters in here, ranging from an old man who can barely speak hitting on me at the bar, your large amount of hipsters, alcoholics, pool sharks, and underage crowd.
Beer is cheap as hell. 5 dollar pitchers make anyone holler if you drink enough of them. Mixers are also a steal and strong as hell. Your mixer is just a garnish for the cup full of booze waiting for you. Shots are also fun, and if you get to know the bartenders well enough, you're set for service here. This is a place I'd also be afraid to come to if I was:
1. WASP from the southside, or [insert MKE suburb here]
2. Out of town WASP
3. A bro who has ventured out of his North Ave haunts and randomly stumbled into riverwest.
That said, the crowd is definitely a mixed bag, but you can always meet someone new and reconnect with other alcoholics. I've danced with a 50-something grandma who told me my true calling was a dancer. This should give you an idea of the place.
One of my favorite bars, ever.Listed in: Milwaukee Dives
-
Review from Jamie B.
Milwaukee, WI
8/14/2008
One of the last bastion's of the $5 pitcher of Blatz in Riverwest, this is a bar I have always enjoyed, but have had to struggle over the years to get anyone else to join me in a night out there.
Thankfully, that has changed.
One of the diviest dives that has ever dove for change under a table, The Uptowner never changes and I love it for that.
Disclosure: I like dives.
This bar is dark and dirty with the usual row of regulars planted at the bar [who use pick up lines like "Hey! You are wearing Converse! *I* am wearing Converse!"]. The TV usually is showing an appropriately awesome B- or 80s movie or a concert video [punk, metal, hip hop, classic - music runs the gamut here].
Music: usually DJ'd of sorts, but I have walked in when bands were playing. There is no rhyme or reason as to when a show is, or what kind of music it might be. Except St. Patrick's Day. Some Irish band plays.
The ATM never works, however, I have found more cash on the floor here than any other bar. No, you can't run a tab. Half the time, your drink comes in a plastic cup. Closing the Uptowner guarantees some sort of craziness or debauchery later. You WILL make more bad decisions here than anywhere else. Something in the air, the piss molecules perhaps?
I still haven't figured out if the beer garden is for patron use or not. Hell, it's so dark in there, I can barely see what it's like inside anyways. I mean, I have been there when fights have broken out AND DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE! -
Review from Jake N.
7/29/2009
I went here for a while, tipped well, made myself noticed and still the bartenders didn't know my name. The people in this bar are diverse, and most look like they've spent all day there. At night it gets interesting. Most people are completely faced when I get there and stick around after I leave. There's also a hefty dosing of shady looking individuals and true alcoholics.
The beer, when I'm in the mood, is cheap. $5 for a big pitcher of cold, good Blatz. Though I'm primarily a mixer guy, I do like the vitamin B once in a while. Mixers are typically pretty stiff. Oh and cheap. Really cheap. Bring cash though, the ATM is always broken or out of money.
They used to have bring your own vinyl night every other Saturday. I really enjoyed that. Such a good mix of different types of music. They got rid of it last I heard which is a real bummer.
Sadly, all the reasons I liked this bar (cheap, close to home, cheap) don't make up for the bar itself and lack of attentive staff. If there are 10 people in the bar, it should not take 5 mintues for me to get another pitcher of beer, especially when I tip half the price of the pitcher every time.
I enjoy dives, but I have my limits. The comments about bring your own soap and hand sanitizer are true. The mens room is absolutely disgusting. Last time I was there, they had thrown a layer of paint on to cover graffiti but still, the piss smell remained and can be detected the second you walk in the place. So my typical routine was to wash my hands, dry them on my pants, use my elbow to open the door, and then use hand sanitizer on my elbow and hands. Yes, it's that bad.
I don't go here anymore for the above reasons. I'd much rather spend a little more money and go someplace else, but for people watching or just getting wasted on the cheap...yeah you can't get much better. -
Review from Meena V.
Somerville, MA
12/14/2009
Most entertaining. Ever.
Go here and get the $5 pitchers at any time of day or night. Don't set down the pitcher or your glass, because that homeless guy behind you will claim you have his beer and then you'll be down one beer or in the middle of a huge bar brawl -- during which your $5 pitcher WILL be stolen.
Get the $2 Jameson shots, and certainly do NOT set those down on the bar. Don't set your purse down anywhere either. Just don't set anything down. Actually, don't even touch the tables.
Do you remember whether you touched the tables here last night? Do you know where your keys are? What? You didn't lose your phone?
You're doing it wrong. -
Review from D'nardo C.
Milwaukee, WI
6/24/2009
This bar used to be fantastic, but times change. My guess is a resurgence is coming
The owner Steve (who also started the Gordon Park Pub, now Nessun Dorma) doesn't work there anymore and it shows. I still go there for one in the late afternoons on my way home from work.
I will say this, it's a refreshing change from all the upscale, Belgian beer and $12 hamburger places that are littering our fair city.
Did I mention that Steve is a registered minister and married me and my wife 8 years ago?
D' -
Review from Ingrid G.
Chicago, IL
-
Review from Jessica Z.
Milwaukee, WI
4/28/2008
Historically significant, not-too-recently cool and underground, currently alternates between terrifying, ridiculous, and slapstick-ally dangerous. Bring your own toilet paper, soap and extra-strength hand sanitizer. Always get your beer in bottles, bring cash, and oh, yeah, it helps to either already be really drunk or dirty. Wear shoes. Exact patience and embrace your inner and outer alcoholic. Imagine happier times, when Blatz bars were for after-work commiserations, before canes and divorce, when happy hours really meant something. Don't talk to anyone. Wear sunglasses all the time.
-
Review from Brian W.
Milwaukee, WI
3/4/2009
one time i got a beer in here while i was waiting for the 23 bus. it was pretty average.
