Two Mile Hollow Beach

Elite '09

56

350

Daniel S.

New York, NY

6/9/2008

This USED to be my favorite beach.  It's the "gay" beach in East Hampton, which means that there are a bunch of Manhattan-ite gay men and their husbands and their adopted children, dogs and extended family on the beach.  Dogs are allowed before 9 and after 6, so avoid it at those hours especially during summer weekends because it's like a who's who of the East Hampton gay dog owner circus...or maybe that's your thing.  Another time to avoid it would be once the sun goes down.  Two Mile Hollow is to East Hampton what the Fens is to Boston, or what pretty much all of Manhattan is to New York...for you straighties, that a gay public sex meeting area.
So why did this USED to be my favorite beach?  Well, I love Main Beach, but it's too crowded and hysterical during the summer.  No straight males want to be caught at Two Mile, the gay beach, so it's always pretty low-key, clean, and beautiful...plus, the men are much more attractive...and presumably gay.  Goi!  I loved grabing a book, spreading out a towel across the grass on the lee-ward side of a sand dune and whilling away the afternoon.  It's quiet, it gorgeous, no dogs shaking out sand and salt-water on your towel.  No way-ward volleyballs landing on your sandwich.  Just peace.  Until last time I was there.  Apparently, the gays aren't waiting for the sun to go down anymore.  Yes, I realize that I'm alone and probably look like a faggot and on a gay beach, but that does not mean I'm looking to get with you, or watch you rub yourself, or watch you watch your boyfriend rub himself, or watch you watch him watch me rubbing you.  Last time I was there, before I even got to the beach some guy driving away from the beach passed me, did a u-turn, and in his haste to come ask me "if I wanted a ride" hit a fence post and dented the bumper of his beautiful green Jag...nice, idiot.  Once I finally got to the beach some guy came up and stood uncomfortably close to me while I took off my shoes, said "Nice day, huh?" and then proceeded to stalk me out onto the beach.  I hiked down the beach a bit, hoping he would give up, but he was still toiling behind me after a few minutes.  I cast him a dirty look, threw down my towel, opened up my book and was promptly approached by two more guys.  Seeeeeeeriously, people, when I want sex that bad, I'll go out and drink until my standards are lowered incredibly...not go to the beach to work on my tan.

It's sad, because it's really a lovely beach, and it never used to be like that, but apparently now to avoid being left alone at the beach I'm going to have to sit creepily close to some un-suspecting family and endure their inane chatter, yapping dogs and sand in my sandwich.  

Darn.

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