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The Lusty Lady - CLOSED
Category: Nightlife Adult Entertainment Adult Entertainment [Edit]
1315 First AvSeattle, WA 98101
Neighborhood: Downtown
(206) 622-2120
- Good for Groups:
- Yes
- Accepts Credit Cards:
- No
- Parking:
- Street
- Price Range:
-
$
- Outdoor Seating:
- No
- Music:
- DJ
- Best Nights:
- Fri, Thu, Sat
- Happy Hour:
- No
- Alcohol:
- No
- Smoking:
- No
- Coat Check:
- No
- Wheelchair Accessible:
- No
39 reviews for The Lusty Lady
Review Highlights
"Definitely going to miss the marquee when it's gone."
(in 8 reviews)
"Everyone gotta go at least once."
(in 4 reviews)
"Bring quarters, lots of quarters."
(in 9 reviews)
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39 reviews in English
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Review from Corinne W.
Seattle, WA
6/9/2010
Fun, cheap and friendly.
Bring hand wipes and don't touch anything.
Dared my friend to eat a candy bar out of the vending machine. Really, they have a vending machine in the lobby.Listed in: Hidden and not-so-hidden gems…
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Review from Ana D.
San Francisco, CA
3/20/2011
Maybe I am being a hard ass by giving them 2 starts. But peep shows aren't really my cup of tea. I don't want glass between me and my lady. At the same time, I am a bit nostalgic for this lil sperm hole.
Ahhhh, such nostalgia... this was the first establishment of this sort that I ever encountered. I went on my friend's 18th birthday, we probably had the quintessential Lusty experience: Pockets heavy with quarters, sticky walls, lackluster dancers. But this place will always have a special place in my heart for their mega witty slogans on their marquee:
"Happy Spanksgiving" and "Kiss Me Under the Cameltoe" being two personal faves.
I really want to meet and maybe marry whoever came up with these things. Outstanding! Incredible! Genius!
Major problem here though was the fact that there was no door on the bathroom, it literally just opened up in to the hall. My boyfriend at the time took a shit once unabashedly as innocent LL patrons passed by...
Who does that???!Listed in: Titty Bars in Seattle and…
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Review from Katrina N.
Seattle, WA
5/4/2010
I shouldn't be reviewing the LL, seeing as my mother reads my reviews.
Hi Mom!
Guess this is one you won't be sharing with Grandma.
Anyway! I never had much intention or desire to go to the LL. That is, until I heard it was closing. And because it is an infamous Seattle landmark, I knew I had to experience it at least once before its demise!
I went in on a Monday afternoon, around 5:30 pm. I was mostly alone in the club, with maybe 7 other patrons there (all men).
Nervously and without realizing it, I first went into the "two-way" booth. In these booths, the ladies can see you back. Once I realized this, it was terribly awkward and strange. I tried waving to the lady, but she did not wave back. Because I put a dollar into the booth, it lasted an uncomfortably long time.
After that, I went into a different booth, wisely choosing a "one-way" booth. I only put a quarter in, so the show was much shorter. After that, I went to yet another booth with another quarter. In all, I saw three ladies, and spent about 2 dollars.
After I exited each booth, a staff member hurried into my once-occupied space to clean. It was reassuring.
Overall, it was not what I had expected. It was not nearly so grungy or creepy as I had heard. But it was pretty slow when I went. I can imagine this place gets busier (and grosser) on Friday or Saturday nights. -
Review from Kerrie L.
Seattle, WA
1/6/2009 10 Check-ins Here
Lusty Lady, you've really outdone yourself. Every single thing any perv could ever want, you have...and cheap!
First, obviously, you have the Lusty Ladies. Hawt, flexible, versatile, contortable, shaven, unshaven...something for everyone! Booths that go for miles, one way windows or two, with doors short enough to check what's on the floor before you go in.
Twenty-five cents for 10 seconds (and believe me, those 10 seconds feel like they last a LOT LONGER). See? Cheap! And easy! I was so excited it took me 50 cents to realize the window in booth 3 didn't work.
And along the opposite wall, more booths! No peep shows here kids...at least not the live kind. Here you have videos! Even gay ones! Who knew a place called the Lusty Lady would have guy on guy porn? So completely original...this totally doubles your clientele!
Tissues on the wall too - you really did think of everything. (Although I suppose you could have put it in a more conspicuous place for the original owner of the splooge in booth 8.)
After months and months of talking this up and getting excited about it, Lusty Lady came through with flying colors.
**Thank you Xav H, for buying the Mystery Prize! Thank you Mystery Prize, for finally getting us there - you're the best, EVER! *8P Thank you everyone who showed up, you guys are awesome! And finally, a heartfelt thank you to Irish Car Bombs.**Listed in: My all-time favorites, Lusssssty!
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Review from Riss J.
1/24/2009
Picked up Drue and Paul at the airport and hit the Noc Noc. They'd never been, I'd never been, nothing says Yelp fun like Hard A and de-virginization.
It was clear that the Noc Noc had nothing more to offer but full price drinks and music so loud you couldn't even hear charades, we moved on
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to the Lusty Lady, it didn't take much to convince us. Drue and Paul had never been, I'd never been. Let the de-virginization continue on! We strolled down the streets, the tension building.
Everyone knows the basics of the Lusty Lady, but can you ever *really* be prepared for it when face to face with all it's glory...holes?
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Unlike the Noc Noc after 9pm, the Lusty Lady does not charge a cover.
I suggest the marquee of "Our ladies have no cover and neither do we".
Approaching the bulletin board of the talent options, I froze...OH MY.
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FREAKIN GOD! SHE HAS MY NAME! That's right. There is a "dancer" at the Lusty Lady who has my birth name as hers. At this point, I'm unsure whether I am flattered or insulted. I haven't been in yet.
We've only been here under 2 minutes, and I've already heard the "one to a booth", "red light means booth is occupied', and "there is no photography in the Lusty Lady" announcements 5x each.
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Walking into the establishment, the first set of booths are for the live show. Catering to ALL sides of perv, they are:
(a) not fully enclosed, so everyone can see your heels and whether or not you're dropping your paper towels on the floor,
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(b) offer both one-way and two way action..if you want the girls to see you whack off or not, they have you covered, and (c) are not all that spacious
If you turn down the hallway, you have booths that are (a) a bit more fully enclosed, (b) Offer porn that features many of the dancers. Apparently the Lusty Lady "contracts" out their talent to local porn production companies.
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For my experience, I chose a one way booth. As the door slid it's way open, the first thought that came to mind was "The jungle room at Graceland" I swear, that's
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what I thought. I was awe struck at the ladies. Flat chested, flabby thighs, flabby asses, yet crackhead skinny, dead eyes, horrid hair, little/no makeup, those wearing minimal clothing it didn't even look clean, and they couldn't dance for SHIT. I mean, my god. There should be standards, even for 25 cent peep shows. Either you are freakin HAWT and TIGHT, or you can dance.
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No rhythm, no sex appeal. The bonus of the one way, is clearly the girls can tell which is which. The one next to me was a two way and no one was dancing too close to that window. However, as my quarters went in, one dancer made sure she was literally, in my face, for the duration.
The streaks on the windows weren't just from the previous occupants jizz on my side, it's from the pussy tracks on the ladies side too. I can say it's been awhile since I've had a vagina that close to my face and the first time there was Plexiglas between us. I have an odd appreciation for any man who can get his rocks off in this place. That is some skill.
I can't see the Lusty Lady leaving us anytime soon, and that's just fine with me. Been there, done that. Someday maybe I'll replace THEIR Karissa and show them how it's done. NOT.Listed in: Sh*ts and Giggles
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Review from Drue C.
San Francisco, CA
1/25/2009
Wow. I have never seen so many shaking ankles in one place. It made me feel all funny, but not down there.
This place has two way and one way glass. A lovely option so you can decide if you want the bajingo on the other side of the glass to know how ugly your face looks as you rub one out.
15 seconds will set you back a quarter. How many quarters this will cost depends on how quickly you can get off to some chicks who should have kept their day job, but at least, eventually, you will get to make two deposits for the price of one.
To their credit they do have conveniently placed kleenex boxes all over and are courteous enough to have a full time jizz mopper on staff. -
Review from Sarah B.
12/31/2008
Unlike pennies, if you drop a quarter or find one on the ground at the Lusty, picking it up is NOT good luck. That ain't "standing water", homeslice.
I learned that ladies get lots of attention in the two-way booths - naked attention from women in nosebleed-inducing heels. This may not be the best way to see nude women, and it's certainly not the most hygenic, but it's probably the most humorous.
Think of it like a zoo, only cheaper. -
Review from Will L.
6/27/2008
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaagh!!!!!!!!!!
*inhale deeply*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!!
What's that on the floor! Oh my god it's... OH MY GOD! What's that on the wall! Oh yuck you mean I have to touch the door handle? And press a button? Where's my gloves? Where's my full body radioactive anti-nuclear war suit? What's that smell? Why is that guy looking at me like that? Why hasn't that girl shaved or waxed or sugared or SOMETHING... jesus it's like a jungle down there! What's that in the mirror... oh you mean I can see other guys watching, and... watch them? PURGE MENTAL IMAGE!
There's boxes of tissue paper all over the place, but it ain't because people are allergic to anything. And... why aren't more people using it?
There needs to be a sink by the front door with bleach and hot water. And like a mind cleaning device to wipe the permanent scars I just inflicted upon my brain.
Absolutely nothing here that I couldn't get accomplished at home with a fast computer and broadband. Except not being able to clean my hands afterwards.
All right, all right. The Lusty Lady is a 'Seattle Icon.' Everyone gotta go at least once. I went. I'm done. Dear God, please let me never hit that point where I need this place to satisfy my love life. On the other hand, I guess I'm kinda happy there's a place like this for people who need it.
One extra star for whoever comes up with the signs on their billboards, those have cracked me up for years. I just thought of one they could use:
"We came, we saw, we came again!"Listed in: Stay the %^#@ AWAY
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Review from Xav V.
4/21/2010 9 Check-ins Here
*Untz untz untz untz*
Oh yeah baby. There are very few things the ex and I agree on, let alone both like. One thing we are totally on the same sticky page over is our love for the Lusty Lady. All sorts on looks, whether you're into the bushes the size of this guys afro (http://tinyurl.com/afr...), tatted Bettys, cracky Mc crackheads, or just regular pretty gals, LL has it.
So there's spooge on the floor. Wear rainboots. How many things in this day and age cost you a mere quarter? Not much my friend, and most of the other 25 cent options aren't going to make your pants tight (or panties wet). I'll miss you Lusty Lady, but will make sure to visit a few times before you close that crusty door for good. Kisses!Listed in: Let's Talk About Sex Bay-Bee
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Review from Brien H.
Seattle, WA
1/2/2009
When you just wanna see some tittays and some ayass, and you have but a measely quarter, well hop on down to the Lusty Lady for a well spent 25 cent piece.
When $.25 can't buy anything else in this economically troubled time, it is hard, so very hard, throbbingly hard, to debate the value of the peep show.
If you don't mind splooge on the floor, walls, and perhaps ceiling, go ahead and step into the cozy booths for a hot one-way or two-way voyeuristic show. Just mind your step, keep your hands at your sides, and don't look up! Remember your safety goggles!
For more of a cinematic feel, try the "videocade" booths, complete with a peek-a-boo window to wave to your friends outside! There are channel "up" and "down" buttons, and channels varying from blowjobs to hardcore blowjobs, to gay blowjobs. Bring your own popcorn!Listed in: OMG I'm like, so cool WTF
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Review from Victoria T.
Seattle, WA
1/9/2008
This is a chain.
Sure, it's well marketed. It's owned by women, employs women. Big deal.
So the signs out front are all innuendo and hilarity. Big deal.
It's what's IN the box that makes the difference. Lusty Lady is no different than every other establishment of it's kind in the world.
The dancers are bored and it shows. Imagine, if you will, the surly 7-11 clerk with a stripper pole.
The accommodations are questionable. It's dark in these places for a reason. If you could actually SEE what's on the floor, walls, seats, you'd run screaming out the door while clawing off your own skin.
But, really, isn't that dirty, dirty feeling half the reason you went in the door in the first place? Don't lie.Listed in: Must Be 18 To Enter
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Review from Nina N.
11/29/2008
This review is dedicated to my fellow yelper friend
DFENS DAN!!
So yes I've been here.. once... There up on the sign.. let me take a looksie in that memory bank.. oh yes.. it was the year of y2cum.. oh yes.. y2cum..... something along those lines.... well here is how it went..
I was turning 18, in college, and my friends at the time were nice enough to take me here for my birthday celebration..."friends at the time" past tense
Gross.. let me sanitize my hands for this review...
Nina let's go to Lusty lady.. wtf? why? it's fun.. let's just do it... you have to go at least once.. come on.. it's your birthday....
fine fine.... don't tell my mom
here's a bag of quarters by the way.. *scratches head* why? don't ask questions just go with the flow and show your i.d.
wait there's a line? are you f'n kidding me.. there's a room we go into.. holy snike's.. let's put quarters in.... omg this girl is naked! why is the floor sticky GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS it's cum.. it's cum.. it's nasty filthy dirty cum.. I am going to barf.. holy crap... she's naked, and just touching herself.. omg.. even more gross.. I can see other people! gross gross.. double gross...they are doing the same movement.... I would faint but I don't want to faint in someones fresh couple mins. cum... so dirty....
please let me wash my hands, and take a really long shower!!!!!!!
exit scene.. I hate my friends.. they need to die for taking me here.. but it was a sight to be seen, and I saw.. and I am never going back....
btw five star for the gross factor.. and five star for being across the street from s.a.m. -
Review from Kiki M.
1/9/2009
I always feel so let down with strip clubs in Seattle. I always feel like a giddy little kid before Christmas when I'm about to go. Oh, new cool gifts! Then Christmas comes and my dreams are shattered when all I get is a travesty of a sweater I will never wear yet have to act like I love it. The Lusty Lady treated me like that let down kid.
My attempt to go to First Thursday at SAM fell through. I suggested to my friend we go to the Lusty Lady since I hadn't been there yet. He agreed so off we went. As soon as I walk in I get all sorts of embarrassed looks from horny middle aged men. Don't mind the girl with the only covered up vagina in the place. I'm here for the show too, fellas.
You walk past the counter and the quarter machine to a big collage of girls dancing that night. I pointed to a picture and jokingly told my friend "Oh my god! I know her!" Just jokes but it would be some serious funny if I did know a girl stripping there.
As you continue the tour you come to a bunch of doors and your complimentary Kleenex. I grab my quarter and head into the room. Whoa! Talk about claustrophobia. How in the hell does a person jack off in here? Whoever does has some real talent and its shown with the piles of crumpled Kleenex on the floor. I put in my quarter and get ready for the show. The window opens and I get an eyeful of semi-attractive bored girls slowly moving to music I can't hear. Rats. I was expecting more. After about 10 seconds the window closes and I'm alone again in my dark small room. I felt so jipped.
I met up with my friend and we promptly left.
Go to The Lusty Lady just to experience it and say you've been there then go to any other place outside Washington and go to a real strip club. Or better yet save yourself the trouble and just take a picture in front of the marquee.Listed in: Are you over 18?
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Review from Daren D.
5/5/2010
dot dot dot...
This is one lusty lady that failed to impress... *ouch!*
Oh you long-time-Seattle-staple-you, how could you do this to me, so?
In one booth, my left foot felt tacky floor, my right felt slicky floor---both possibly from-------naaah, no way!!! Dudes/fems would do that here?! Holy sheeeeyit! I'd imagine it's from left-over moisture from staff mopping the booth floors... could it be... *HUH*.... both? o_o
I was having a hum-drum afternoon, so I thought, fluck it, the place is closing soon, let's see what this place is made of.... dammit! what shows for Channel 47 in the display case isn't even on that flucking channel! And none of the girls Made Contact with my booth window... they just drifted from afar, like it was 0.2x Earth's gravity or something.
partial GG for you. -
Review from Steve O.
Seattle, WA
Updated - 12/3/2008
Note to self..do not drive my car down 1st ave..good chance of hitting another car or person due to laughing at the marquee..
Keep up the good work.1 Previous Review: Show all »
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6/1/2008
Right on for the lusty lady...much, much better that that place across the street...SAM...cost alot… Read more »
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Review from Bert H.
Seattle, WA
1/25/2009
Dirty....just Dirty.
When you walk into a place and the first thing you notice is the guy walking around with the booth mop, you know you're in a classy joint.
From the "menu" board of the dancers, to the bored attendent rattling off the rules to us, to the scattered tissues littering the hallway you get a full sensory experience of seediness. I want to say that I handled it with verve and casual grace, but i couldn't even muster the courage to take my hands out of my coat pockets for fear of touching any of the surfaces near me.
Mop man did not look like a thorough cleaner and I'm pretty sure I would have freaked out if i touched anything slick or sticky. All i could think is "When you're mopping out jerk-it booths, you really ought to re-evaluate your life goals."
Other folks at the Lusty Lady did not have that qualm, as was attested to by the vigorously shaking heels poking out from under the booth doors (seriously, why not have full doors? Do we really need to see that?) as some poor schmoe got his rocks off at 50 cents a minute.
If you're feeling the need to masturbate to a real live girl who's just as dissintereted in you as your porn collection is, and you want to pay for the privilage - Then the Lusty Lady is for you! -
Review from Hatfield M.
Seattle, WA
5/27/2010
The first time I headed down to the Emerald city's municipal cockwash I was 15 years old and rolling on a buddy's older brothers Navy ID.
I dropped approximately $10 bucks to see what can only be described as a beat up 40 something monkey's chin that resembled a lower-mid-thoracic axe wound get smashed up against a window. Her lady bits were covered with an old nappy fur pie adorned with stained piss flaps. Luckily my face was firmly pressed up against the glass partition, had it not I wouldn't have been able to faintly discern the outline of her catcher's mitt sized meat wallet. In place of the professional maintained Velcro triangle I had become so accustomed to seeing in Penthouse before me slowly gyrated a rusty brillo pad reminiscent of a burgundy hued bear trapper's hat.
I awkwardly stood in that humid bleach soaked sticky little spank tank mumbling curses upon the management. I was fuming pissed. Who were the charlatans that ran this place that had completely neglected to inspect the wool level on this dancing vixens love cavern? Through all the she-pubis you couldn't even see the little bald man in the boat; was it a big clit or perhaps a small dick? I'll certainly never know.
Cigarette burns, c-section scars, long expired boob jobs, stretch marks, gapping baby cradles and pale naked gingers. I'll miss you old friend. -
Review from jessica i.
Oakland, CA
9/6/2006 1 photo
Holy crap! I had NO idea the Lusty was a chain and existed in Seattle! Being from the Bay Area, this was much to my pleasant surprise upon a recent visit.
So a few things here -- my basis for comparison being the SF Lusty Lady.
Ok it smells nice, and there doesn't seem to be any random stains or substances on the floor.
But ugh, no tissues coming out of the wall! And it's way small! No merch for sale! Creepy goth drawings in the hall!
And the doors are only half doors, like changing rooms, so you can see who's in there. It feels less private. And there are no booths to seat more than one person, and if you try to bring someone else in the booth, the girl comes on the intercom to yell, and there's signs posted about how if you proceed to go in the booth with a 2nd person you are in violation of WA law. Sigh, oh gawwwd.
The girls are a little different. Way less suicide looking, way nicer skin. And they HELLA twerk they asses! They're all like rap video girls. Which is great in its own right I guess.
This one chick blew me a kiss from her nipple, which felt nice.
But they seemed less.....willing to interact with me though. More shut off. I was only there for like 15 minutes and had already seen everything I needed to see. No action or craziness whatsoever. Hmmph.
Also my friend inisists these Mexican dudes on the outside of our booth were all calling to me, "...Heeey bonita...." but I was apparently oblivious.
This place is aiiiiight, but not really anything to write home about if you've been to SF.
I wonder about Deja Vu up the street! It costs to get in though. But Rat City Rollergirls were having a party there last weekend! Haaaay roller derby. -
Review from Pity D.
Compton, CA
7/16/2008
Holy sh!t! How could anyone give this place less than 4 stars?!
I thought places like this only existed in Madonna videos. Seriously.
Never before in my life (and probably never again) have I ever put a quarter in a slot and for 25 cents gotten to peer through a window, through the legs of a chick who is bending over in front of me spreading her cooch, and through another window at the face of my cousin who is in another booth cracking up and pointing at the dude 2 booths over who is furiously giving his weiner a massage.
Seriously, a once in a lifetime experience.
P.S. Wear a trash bag over your clothes before stepping into any of the booths.
P.P.S. If ever you put a quarter in and nothing happens, do not touch the button to get your quarter back and whatever you do, do not ever, ever stick your finger in the pocket to retrieve your quarter. Trust me. -
Review from Pieter W.
DeKalb, IL
8/9/2008
It's NASTY!!!
It's FOUL!!!
It's most certainly somewhat unsanitary!!!
But hey, at least they haven't built a @#$&!! Condo there right?!?!
I mean hey, Seattle seems to want to deny it's past as a Wild West town so much that I'm happy some of the scummy, seedy "Skid Road" aspect of Seattle is still around. Seriously, I've heard some rich developers tried to buy the Lusty Lady out and were unsuccessful, hence every other building around them being a sky rise!! God bless the Lusty Lady for having that kind of staying power!!!
But anyway, this establishment is a true "peep show" where you dispense of your quarters in a private booth to gaze upon nekkid ladies, just like in the movies! I wish there was a more female friendly version of this establishment where women would feel comfortable going to, but again that might kill some of the SLEAZE factor, which is great to have in the city of Seattle where boobs and booze cannot legally mix for fear that civilization may collapse, or something. -
Review from Nathan B.
Seattle, WA
6/9/2010
Sad to say, it truly is "The REAR END of an era."
Definitely going to miss the marquee when it's gone.... -
Review from James E.
6/21/2007
My friend was visiting from out of town, and it was his birthday. After a couple rounds at The Chapel, I asked him what he'd like to do next. One word: "Boobs". We grabbed a taxi and I brought him to The Lusty Lady to grant his birthday wish. What neither of us expected to be dancing naked was a pregnant lady.
There is nothing lusty about a dancing pregnant woman.
+1 star because the dancers are union. -
Review from Hannah C.
Seattle, WA
8/14/2009
My friend took me here yesterday and I thought it was great. What an interesting experience and dirt cheap. We had put in $3 and were able to watch about 5 minutes of feminine debauchery and rank strippers.
Luckily we were facing a cute, seemingly clean enough stripper of whom, if me and my friend's assumptions had served us right, was East European. She kept giving me the eye which was sexy enough but again I had seen better for free. Ahem get a girl. haha.
That was great. and I would suggest that 5 minutes of viewing pleasure would be enough. We also saw stains on the window of which I think some guy had ejaculated, so DON'T touch anything in that booth. :) -
Review from Lynsey N.
Lynnwood, WA
5/9/2010
After a failed attempt at trivia night (We walked out mid-round after we realized we were too dumb) we hopped in the car and the five of us got a wild hair to venture down to The Lusty Lady one more time before they close. My wife and one of the other women in our group had never been!! I know, I was amazed by that as well.
The Lusty Lady has been the same as long as I can ever remember. Semi-decent looking naked ladies that will show you all "the goods" from behind a piece of glass for a quarter. I'm not sure how a concept as ingenius as "nudity for pocket change" can run out of steam, but unfortunatley it has here, and they will shutting down soon. R.I.P. Lusty Lady, and thanks for the mammories. -
Review from Sharon S.
San Diego, CA
5/13/2009
Maybe I went on a bad night or something but, I swear I saw so much cottage cheese when I frequented the Lusty Lady. Jesus lady, if you're gonna be showing off your ass (among other things), please make sure it's presentable. But methinks patrons of the Lusty Lady don't have a very discerning eye for what is considered aesthetically immaculate.
I went to the two-way "booth" and was greeted with a look of surprise upon the curtain lifting. Me thinks they're not used to seeing girls who enjoy this kinda stuff. But I wasn't really enjoying myself. Carrying on...
The fact that the floor was littered with crumpled up tissues soaked with splooge was kinda unsettling. Thank God I was wearing boots...my friend, on the other hand, had flip-flops on =(
And to think you only had to worry about athlete's foot in public places....
The atmosphere was typical 1970s porno film (i.e. dark, seedy, I-hope-no-one-I-know-knows-I'm-here kinda ambiance).
Well, just make sure not to touch anything if your hygienic concerns are important... -
Review from Dan T.
San Francisco, CA
Since 2006 I've waited to make this statement...
5 BONERS UP!!!!!
Now my 5 stiff star review is intended for the casual person who wants to "peep" in for a couple of laughs. If you have hair growing on your palms you might want to "rub the magic genie" somewhere else.
So let's say you want to visit the Lusty Lady but need help on how to prepare. Here's a short guide on how to get ready for your magical boner moment:
1. Get a whole crap load of Purrell and make sure that you don't wear your nice shoes.
2. Go to a local bar and get drunk. I put down 5 drinks to get myself "lubed" up.
3. While you're drunk enough run over to the Lusty Lady. And don't get distracted and blow your load too early. http://flickr.com/phot...
4. Go with the best dirty dozen friends you have. Proceed to do the hump train in front of the Lusty Lady. http://flickr.com/phot...
So when you get there here are additional tips:
1. They check your ID at the window outside. Note the man behind the glass is there to check your ID and doubles as security so no need to pull out quarters and start "dancing with Johnny one -eyed" just yet.
2. Look at the wall of fame! Yes you get to see if "Barbie Biguns" is working that day. http://www.yelp.com/bi...
3. There's only one person allowed per booth so you're going to have to leave the Sarah Palin love doll at home. http://www.yelp.com/bi...
4. Watch where you step in the tiny booth. There's enough liquid on the floor to be classified as a tripping hazard.
5. Beware of broken machines. One had their quarter return slot jammed (I assumed that someone was banging on it with their magic salami surprise) and every time I put a quarter into the machine it would fall on the floor. Which leads to the next tip...
6. If you drop anything on the floor... DO NOT PICK IT UP! Even if it's a $100 bill leave it on the floor. Besides, it might be a trap with a sinister surprise if you get my wanker drift.
I would also recommend this place for groups. We had a hell of good time laughing out asses off. Apparently the regulars weren't too thrilled as they stood around while we goofed off for 10 minutes in this fine establishment. In my drunken stupor I didn't know that security was yelling at us over the loud speaker. From all the warnings the bouncer repeated I realized that there are only 4 rules at the Lusty Lady:
1. No cameras allowed (thanks to Ron M. for risking life and limb for these photos)
2. One person per booth (so you can only stroke the squirming German by yourself)
3. Once in the booth you must keep the door closed (no one wants to watch you "fish for trouser trout" either)
4. No loitering in the hallway (It's hard to play tug-o-war with Harry and the Hendersons when there's a dozen people laughing at you outside the door).
The Lusty Lady does have a quarter machine. I know money is dirty but bring quarters from another establishment. I'm sure all the quarters are being recycled and who knows you'll hit the sticky quarter jackpot.
So this was my first time into a strip club so my 5 balls star review may be suspect. At worst you must go to the Lusty Lady at least once in a lifetime. And if you don't think it's famous don't just take my word for it. There's a Wikipedia page that talks about Seattle's favorite place to wrestle the one-eyed weasel too http://en.wikipedia.or... -
Review from Alison V.
1/1/2009 1 Check-in Here
The top 10 things you need to know about the Lusty Lady (I bet you didn't even think there were 10, did you?)
1. Bring quarters, lots of quarters. No dollar bills at this place!
2. There's a change machine, so if you forgot your quarters, you'll still be able to enjoy
3. They tolerate large groups of drunken yelpers. I imagine they'd also take large groups of other drunk people too. Drunk is good when at the Lusty Lady.
4. Don't look down. You'll thank me later. Or maybe you should so you know where *not* to step.
5. If you drop a quarter....or anything else, just leave it!
6. There are both one way and two way mirrors, so don't worry if you don't want the lovely ladies to see your face.
7. There are tissues on the wall, so if you find yourself with a runny nose you're in luck. That is what those tissues are for, right??
8. The sign outside provides nearly as much entertainment as the dancers do. Okay, not really,but it's nearly always funny!
9. It's a felony to have more than one person in a booth at the same time. And clearly marked. They're not messing around folks!
10. A bottle of Purell (or other hand sanitizer of your choosing) comes in handy after visiting this place. -
Review from Ruth N.
Takoma Park, MD
12/2/2008
Ok - here is the deal. It's a whack-shack and you should know that before you consider entering. That said, you should assume that there are boxes of tissue around, and that not everyone uses the tissues. If you know this, and you are peace with it (or willing to deal with it, anyway), then you can ignore all of the silly rants from reviewers who somehow assumed that people who go to tiny private rooms to watch naked women dancing aren't going there to masturbate all over the place. Really now, get over it or don't visit.
Ok - now thats out of the way, here is my review of our visit to The Lusty Lady. We laughed outside, as it is right across from the SAM (Seattle Art Museum). As we approached, 3 young men ran out giggling. Of course, I pointed at them and said "I saw you! I know what you were doing!" and we all laughed. Well, I laughed, anyway. We went in and the woman at the front table was pleasant enough. She gave us the general directions, after asking if we had been before, and we got our quarters from the machine. The doors are green and yellow on the right - video booths further down on the left. Who cares about the video booths when a world famous old-time peep show is in the building?! I should mention that the desk person did not blink one way or the other that we are a guy/girl couple, so one might guess that women are welcome here. Other reviews back this up. We went in early December (off season) and did not notice any bad smells, or good ones for that matter.
The front of the doors are helpfully labeled by whether or not the ladies (and other customers) can see you through the glass. I chose a window where I could be seen, and so did my friend. He, however, would opt for the other kind next time as he felt a bit odd with the risk of making eye contact. I, on the other hand, smiled away and thanked them through the glass. I'm getting ahead of myself, though. Ok - so you peer under the door and look for feet to make sure the room is empty. There is a good 12+ inches of space to do this, so it's easy even though it's pretty dark in there.
Open your door and you will find a tiny little room. It's not even a room. It's 1/2 of a tiny coat closet. If you're wearing a winter coat, it will brush the sides of the room no matter how hard you hug it to yourself. Look at the wall near your belly button - there is a glowing button by the place for your quarter, just like an old-school video game machine. Put your quarter there, and the shade lifts. You're now exposed from mid-chest up as you stand there, staring into a small mirrored room with 3 ladies in it. The room is perhaps 12 feet wide and 6 feet deep, but it was hard to tell since I was way down at the end by the entrance to The Lust Lady. Yes, you can see the faces of other customers (who chose that kind of room) as the shades go up and down, and they can see you. You cannot see more than shoulder action, but you know what they're doing...maybe you're doing it, too so don't judge.
Just a few seconds later, the shades comes down, so drop in another quarter. Now you're used to it, and no longer blinking at the bright lights and bare bodies. We had three women in the room, one who looked like a former cheerleader, one who was lovely girl next door type, and one with large breast implants. I couldn't see the blond cheerleader on the other side well, so I can't say much about her other than that she had huge heels waving in the air at some points. The girl next door did not shave anything, and wore causal blue striped cotton socks. The woman with the implants sported a sheer, flouncy fringe of a skirt. All were otherwise nude. The woman in the blue socks was the only African-American, and the skirted woman had brown hair. There, now you know the image. The three of them slowly pranced and danced in the room, sometimes looking bored and sometimes teasing the patrons with close-up views, winks and smiles. I assumed they could hear me through the glass, as there is a sign stenciled on the bottom of the window advising that I be polite and not issue commands to the dancers. I was all grins and gratitude, and was rewarded with a smile and wave from the dancer in the skirt as my shade went down the last time. I added one last, unplanned quarter to wave back, but she wasn't looking anymore.
As I exited the booth I saw that my friend had been waiting for me by the door (as we preplanned). You aren't allowed to squish more than 1 person in a room, nor would you want to. Trust me, it would not be sexy. We grabbed some sanitizing gel from the dispenser at the exit, and I asked how long he had been there. He spent only 1 quarter and made a run for it. I said that I spent $1, although I actually spent $1.50.
We left, giggling but not running. A few men stared at me with shy amazement but no one pointed. After that, we did a nice tea tasting down the way. I hope there are no bathrooms to review.Listed in: Unique Adult Shopping and…
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Review from Alex H.
Seattle, WA
4/23/2008
Utterly filthy and disgusting. I'm all for naked chicks, porno, and jerking off, but can't we have the modicum of decency to enjoy those things in our own homes please? There's just nothing erotic about unsanitary conditions. I can see why feminists are so jazzed about the Lusty Lady: it's the average-looking girls who are safe to lounge around, bored, behind protective glass while the men desperately waste their money while standing in puddles of each others' rancid spunk. 2 stars for the marquee outside, which is occasionally hilarious.
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Review from Danika M.
Seattle, WA
5/28/2008
The lusty lady is a real peep show. Put in a quarter, peep for 10 seconds. The booths are gross. There are Kleenex boxes stapled to the walls. But it seems like a good place to work as a dancer. Nobody touches you or anything. The girls kind of operate in big glass cases. Many lovely women work here. That said, this joint is pretty filthy and full of stinky, nasty-ass characters.
Listed in: SHPOCs, Fun For Grown Folks
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Review from Aaron M.
2/9/2007 1 Check-in Here
I am so afraid of this place! Okay I admit it I went in once. I was wasted and expecting a smallish nudie bar. To be honest I was really interested in the drinks, (I had moved from CO they and didn't know they don't serve alcohol at strip clubs here). I walked in and down a dark gross looking hallway with doors to my right. Like a long row of bathroom stalls. Reaching the end I turned left and there were more bathroom stalls and a chorus or moans etc. Inside were small TV screens. At this point I realized I was not in a place I wanted to be. I turned around and realized the doors in the main hall were to the coin operated peep show booths. I didn't think these things actually existed...only imagined them in the movies...Armed and Dangerous and the like. Anyway I ran out quickly and took a shower becuase I just felt dirty...The signs are funny though.
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Review from Lauren P.
Seattle, WA
4/27/2010
I have never been in here sober, or even anything vaguely resembling not-fucked-up. Perhaps this is why some of the most hilarious and traumatizing moments of my adult life have been had at The Lusty Lady.
I can never decide if I like it or hate it here, but it's still- pretty amazing.
High on this list of things I will never forgive my friends for is dragging me to the L while I was breaking in the platform heels I bought for my Halloween costume. Pretty much the only things worse than being really high in the Lusty Lady are- being felt-up in the Lusty Lady, and having other patrons walk up to you and tell you you need to start working there. I was treated to both.
The hobopatrons are amazingly gross/creepy/desperate/sad, but somehow also really, really hilarious.
Watching people clamor for the tissues mounted to the wall is comedy gold.
The dancers- are a mixed bag. I have seen bush that went all the way up to the belly-button here, but also, like, girls so fine that I actually caught myself staring and then was uncomfortable.
Actually being in a booth makes you feel like a sex offender (plus the booths smell like- well, the semen that is usually all over the floor), but this place has it's own weird charm.
It's a shame they're closing down. It's sort of a weird Seattle gem.
Plus, man, 'Jizz-mopper' is an actual job here. Any place that creates jobs for people that consists largely of mopping up spooge, being in a building full of naked chicks, and looking surly is doing something right. That's the stuff of dreams.
I am also a shameless fan of random tits, and things that are hilariously gross/sexual, and have a friend who works here, so I may be biased, but- five stars it is. -
Review from Mathieu Y.
2/10/2010
I thought this was amazing, but my girlfriend decidedly did not. We walked in at the same time in to two adjoinhing booths, and she was too disgusted to put her dollar in to the slot. hahaha. Meanwhile, I wwas treated to a minute peep show of a middle aged woman rubbing her tiny tits against the mirror, and then promptly turning around and waxing the glass with her cunt, piercing and all .Very... educational. Then I saw from between her legs a little russian lady with black hair entertaining the booth beside me, so I told my girlfriend what I saw and put the dollar in for her and told her to just stand there and watch. She came out saying "that girl was TOO FAT." I guess she just does not have the same appreciation for a dollars worth of entertainment as I do! ha!
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Review from nikkolina o.
2/27/2010
I went on a saturday night with my boyfriend. Esspecially after reading an article in nthe paper. Saying a man trying to sneak in to the dancing lady part and fell through the ceiling he was on. He didnt have a dollar i assume.So we went in. Inside its really dark and all you see is a bunch of 18 year olds trying to get in the bathroom stalls I went in a stall put dollar in i saw some naked ladys at a safe distance they were milfs. My boyfriend told me to go into this other stall hot lady hot lady eeee eee. So i put a dollar in i seem some ladys then a big large prosteerior rubs against the glass the rest of the time it took up the whole glass i was a lil mad that all i saw was pink but it was pretty hilarious. Good time for a dollar
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Review from Eddy L.
Seattle, WA
5/4/2010
i'm saddened to hear that they're closing. my best college memories were at the Lusty Lady. I used to wander in there drunk with friends late nights after drinking for some cheap-o awesomely fun times. Then I started going there late night after drinking by myself which was still awesomely good times. Then I tried going sober on a weekday afternoon. I remember walking out to a wall of blank stares from a bus load full of afternoon work commuters and I came to the realization that it's not that awesome. and that i'm just a pervert. Regardless, I will never forget you Lusty Lady R.I.P.
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Review from Brian L.
Seattle, WA
10/2/2008
Fuck yes!
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Review from SunShine M.
Seattle, WA
4/21/2010
Lusty Lady as many of you all already know is closing June 11 and 12 are the last days for live stage dancers. Better get it while you can. What other place can offer such great entertainment for only a few dollars or even mere quarters.
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Review from Tiny k.
Kent, WA
6/16/2009
Seattle icon for real! I haven't been in a while I guess but I remember my first visit. So awesome! People were nice helpful and ended up just happy as I left. Later in life I went with friends and stuff. Which made it more awesome. Go and have fun and help that girl through college.
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Review from Andy C.
Shoreline, WA
4/14/2010
I have never been in the Lusty Lady, but I worked for Metro Tranist the Bus company, and I used to drive up and down 1st avenue all the time, for 9 years, and I used to LOVE the signs that they would have, especially in the mid 90's when it was all about if you are in the Military and you are gay, they were wrong and all that, and I just loved the person who did their Marquee, and it said, "Military Gaze welcomed here" I loved it! I always enjoyed their funny marquees, they were a class act, and I hate to see it end! Andy Corona
