Suzie's Adult Superstore

 

265

110

Candice D.

San Francisco, CA

The following is based on a true story.

Circa 2003

[ext. night, Kalakaua ave.  Candice and her boyfriend at the time are taking a nice stroll down Waikiki checking out random stores.  After visiting thrift store 88 tees, they stop in front of Suzie's Adult Superstore...which is exactly what it sounds like.  Although the name is prolly derived from its bigger branch, as this one is more like a Suzie's Adult Inn N Out.  But I digress.]

C:  Weird how they got this smack dab in the middle of a whole bunch of tourists locations...isn't it?
BATT(boyfriend-at-the-time):  [Nervous laughter].....yeah...weird huh?
C: I'm going in!
Batt: [Suddenly smiles]  YES!

[Candice gravitates towards the counter]

WorkerBee: How are you doing today?
C: [Surprised at how friendly one working in a sex shop is]  I'm doing great!  How are you?
WB: Fine!   We got a special on these glass [censored] here.  They're hand-blown glass.  

BATT:  [Nervous laughter.]

C:  Really?  I'm took a glass blowing class last semester!!!!  I had a lot of stuff that came out looking like this but they were mistakes and I threw them away!  I was trying to make vases but the glass kept falling....

BATT: .....

WB:  Really?!? That's soo cool!!! i was always wondering how they made these.  

C: Can I see them?
[WB hands one to Candice.  Candice examines the craftmanship closely.  BATT gets confused about what emotion he's supposed to be feeling.]

C:  Oh wow!  See these color swirls here?  Those are really hard.  I never really got to that level in my class.....sh*t had I known I coulda sold these for friggin $300 I wouldn't have thrown them out!!!!

[Candice puts them down.]

C: Well, thanks!  Try not to work too hard!!!!

WB:  You too!!!

[Candice and BATT leave the store and Candice keeps walking down the street like nothing happened.]

BATT:  [Laughs]  I swear to f*kin god that was so "Candice."  Only YOU would go into a sex store with her boyfriend just to talk about glass blowing.  

[He pauses in front of a street performer]
I love you.

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