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Schlitterbahn Waterpark Resort
- Price Range:
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$$
- Good for Kids:
- Yes
39 reviews for Schlitterbahn Waterpark Resort
Here is my take on this place....
S is for Shyst (trying to keep it German)! This place is crowded!
C is for Car, where is my car? (had no idea where I parked when I was done)
H is for hours, yep, plan on being there for hours....
L is for lost, lost both my sunglasses and shoes but luckily, my shoes were found at the lost and found!! :)
I is for idle time, you must have lots of this when waiting for the slides..
T is for tubes, everywhere, and people were constantly taking them
T is for ta-ta's, meaning, a lot of girls were out in the open....
E is for expensive....this is gonna soak you, take your wallet for a swim, you will want to dive for a discount, etc...you get it....
R is for rain, which we encountered, and they shut the park down for an hour....neat....but they re-opened....and let us stay in.....
B is for bull frog or whatever sunscreen you can get your hands on...you will need it...
A is for all the people....Everywhere....in buses.....
H is for HOT because it is freaking hot there....
N is for necessary.....while it is chaos, everyone should try to come here at least once in their lifetime...it is quite an experience!
I absolutely loved the big lazy river type thing (wave pool) where the waves pretty much just push you around!!! That was my favorite!! I could stay there for days!
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Pros: Lots of fun, good way to escape the Texas heat!
Cons: Busy, crowds, expensive, hot on barefeet
I went to Schlitterbahn over the summer when I visited some old friends in Austin and San Antonio. The waterpark has been rated my numerous magazines and The Travel Channel as the number one waterpark in the country... Does it live up to the hype?
I think the price of admission was pretty steep. Once I got through the gate, we went to put our flip flops and t-shirts into the locker. With temps hovering right around 100 degrees, the cement soaks up the sun and it's pretty painful on barefeet. I'd recommend water shoes as my friends and I all felt like we were walking on hot coals the entire day.
The park isn't shiny or new, but feels very old school. A river runs right through the park, which is very very cool. The rides are fun, but the lines are terrible. It's kind of annoying that after four hours most of us only hit up two water slides. However, we all had a lot of fun and most of us agreed it was the best waterpark we have ever been to.
If you are vacationing in San Antonio, this is an option, but you also have Fiesta Texas and SeaWorld as other choices, plus the fabulous River Walk. It's a nice diversion on a hot, summer day and if you have a good group of friends it's a lot of fun.
Schlitterbahn is opening new waters parks in Houston and KC, but I'd stick with the original, as it has character and charm the newer, shiny ones are going to lack.
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I'm going to be honest and say that their rides are wondrous, as water rides go. But I would go solely for the awesome wave pool at Blastenhoff [where all the 'power player' rides are]. It generates surf-worthy currents, and quite simply, is extremely freeing for me.
Also enjoyed the giant wading pool at the main park area. Plus, BYO ice chest is one of the coolest things ever.
So yesterday I did my motherly (and favorite aunt) duty....i took the crew to Schlitterbahn. I will admit. I am biased. I do not get excited about tourist traps. BUT, i had heard enough throughout the years to think maybe it wouldn't be so bad. WRONG.
If a crowded waterpark is your idea of fun...move on to a review with more stars.
I guess i hadn't really done the math ahead of time. So even with my $10 off for up to five (i got from the tourist board website, i think) i was still shocked at the $185 just to get in the door. Upon entering the "Castle" entrance, i believe my first post to facebook was something about a white trash waterpark.
Thank God I saw that I could bring my own food in. While I wasn't quite up for toting my own cooler, I did pack a bunch of sandwiches in a lunch box with an ice pack and ice waters. I'm certain this saved me at least $50 (for 5 total) and a future bypass. We did splurge on the $6/ea dippin' dots for the kids. (But watchout for the bees!)
The kids ventured out on their own for the first hour and a half while i got my bearings. I was so totally bored that i decided i would get with the program and ride rides with them once they checked back in. Upon their return, they were pretty upset that they had managed to only ride one ride during that time (the hillslide tube chute...or something like that) so we decided to gather our stuff and head for the newer side of the park. Surely it would be better there.
Not so much. This was a TUESDAY AFTERNOON people and it was so overly crowded that I actually wondered if they would stop letting people in at some point?
Two of the four decided to stand in line for one of the other rides (master blaster?). They were gone for over an hour when they came back. "How was it!?" i asked. They never even got to it. After an hour in the heat, the youngest started feeling sick and had to come back down to cool off.
Sooooo....the moral of the story kiddos? If you're ok to pay an average of about $35/pp to float in a river with a wave pool (with sooo many people that you get shoved up against walls and into the water grates) then this may in fact, be the place for you. And if you happen to sport a mullet or a rat's tail, then you may even run into some of your kin (wish we'd taken pictures of some of this!)
Oh, and one other reviewer mentioned the free peep show? Sure, if that's your thing, but keep in mind there are probably MORE people you'd rather NOT get that peep from vs. hot babes in bikinis. Oh, and that goes for overweight dudes in speedos, too...ewwwww!
I for one, think we'd have been better off at the Comal with tubes and a rope swing....I KNOW my pocket-book would have.
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Not a lot to say that hasn't been said...
I will say this, we went on Sunday the day before school starts, tax free holiday, and 104 Temp! The only reason this review isn't hurry up and wait. I can't say we planned to be here on this amazingly slow day for them but, HEY! bring it. We rode the rides and had fun showing my Chicago friend around for her first visit to Schlitterbahn! It is what all the people are saying and evidently the Travel Channel as well. Good time for all and the shade is awesome to keep you from frying.
A little note:
The lockers are 5.00 bucks
Cement is HOT! Wear water Shoes!!
Beer is expensive and cold
Take a waterproof camera
Last but not least! If they have this "Splash Cash" thing then why is it that they don't round all of their sales to 2.00 or even to .25? Boo, on the change in the park...see, I think it is all a way of collecting extra revenue! They have got to collect all the change you lose in the park!
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Schlitterbahn is the Grand Dame of waterparks. Or perhaps I should say the Grand Frau.
In either case, Schlitterbahn is 1) expansive 2) inexpensive 3) FUN! They offer a military discount on tickets, do discounted tickets after 3pm, allow you to bring your own cooler/picnic lunch, have free parking and shuttles that run constantly between the *TWO* parks.
The downside are the wait-times. They allow SO MANY PEOPLE in, that the wait time for a slide can be anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours. Yes, two hours for a water slide.
So yes, Schlitterbahn is inexpensive and expansive and FUN, but you will also wait and wait and wait. So bring your friends and good sunblock.
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Best water park hands down. Granted I am a bit bias going every summer since I was a child but that doesn't really change much.
I am a big fan of the original park which is right on the river and is like tubing but with more fun parts. It is easy to get around in. And yes there are lines but compared to other amusement parks and water parks they go pretty fast and most things actually last a good bit.
The new parks don't seem to move as fast and are more like what I expect when I go to your average water park.
How awesome is that you can bring your own food and drinks (no glass) in! Since we pretty much always bring our own food I can't say much about the food there but all of it looked good.
I love Schlitterbahn!! I turn into about 10 years old when I get within viewing distance of waterslides. When I was little and lived in Chicago we used to go to a place called Noah's Ark that was a HUGE waterpark in the Wisconsin Dells. I've not been to a place that compared until we moved to Austin. Have I mentioned that I love this place?
So the way we roll is spending the day mostly doing the tube rides. They're usually about a 5-20 minute wait for a 20-30 minute ride. The super thrill rides are fun and all, but I hate waiting in line. We usually do one of those, max, and then go back to the tube chutes and lazy rivers. I think the best time to do the super popular rides are first thing in the morning.
The food is actually pretty decent and not too expensive, considering. I got a nummy grilled chicken sandwich, fries, and a drink for about 8 bucks.
Parking is free, they have a free shuttle between the two parks, and I can't think of much bad to say about it, because the 10 year old in me just wants to go back now!
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In and of itself, Schlitterbahn doesn't rate five stars--the "new" rides are just reworked versions of the old ones. Food (and more importantly, beer) prices are in line with other parks (e.g. ridiculously high). The concrete in most parts of the park are absolutely not conducive to walking barefoot. It's like walking on molten hot Legos.
That said, it's still a great place to kill a day or two. Compared to other amusement parks, Schlitterbahn is a great bargain.
Free parking? Yes.
Bring your own cooler? Absolutely
Discount tickets? Yep--stop in an HEB on the way down and get them for $5 less.
Tits & Ass? Fuck yeah! If you hang out at the Boogie Bahn, you'll get a free peep show.
My advice is to not go on a Saturday--take a day or two off during the week. The crowds seemed to grow exponentially on Saturday.
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Oh Schlitterbahn, how you've lost your sparkle.
Ok, anyone who's a waterpark fan will love their first few trips to the Bahn. How can you not? A plethora of rides, more than most parks and a beautiful setting.
Now, how about a waterpark that's sat on its laurels for 15 years and done next to nothing for its customers except take their money? That would be the Schlitterbahn of today.
How about a park that hasn't added a new attraction in 15 years? 15 years?!?! Can you imagine an amusement park that added nothing for that long? It would be shuttered long since. However, Sch(l)itterbahn has screwed its customer base for a decade and a half now with no end in sight.
Wait, you say! How about the Dragon's Revenge? Nope, they added sound and a couple of weak effects to an existing ride, the original blaster., which had long since become tired. Wow, how underwhelming.
More recently they did another retrofit on a very boring section of the tube float river. Add fog, craptastic animatronics and water guns and voila! Another super crappy 'new' ride for us sheep.
What gets me mad is how they've spent millions and millions building state of the art parks in South Padre, Galveston and now Kansas City while all the time ignoring their mothership in New Braunfels. Yet they still raise their prices EVERY year to astronomical rates and refuse to allow a pass holder to visit their other parks.
Take a look at ANY of the other 3 parks and notice how they have multiples of all of the best rides, rivers floating you from one spot to the next and multiples of the new state of the art attractions. We, the ones who put Schlitterbahn on the map, however get a fresh coat of paint and fog. Wow. What a slap in the face.
So, is it reasonable to expect them to retrofit the entire park in NB? No, but had they upgraded and added to the park on a regular basis, every few years, rather than spend their money elsewhere, we wouldn't have a severely overcrowded, ridiculously long lined, hot footed nightmare that we are left with today. Is Master Blaster seriously worth waiting in line for an hour, every time? Of course not.
This place stinks to high heaven of greed and complacency. They're pretty much giving their customer base the finger every time you visit. Add duplicates of the Master Blaster and add some NEW rides not just crappy retrofitting.
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THIS is the "best waterpark in the country"? You've got to be kidding.
The good news: Parking is free, busses between the two sections are plentiful, the staff is reasonably cheerful, and there are some excellent rides for very young children.
The problems are numerous though:
1. We were admittedly there on a busy summer weekend, but 'crowded' does not begin to describe it. 10 minutes to get on a basic slide. We spent 2 hours to get on a ride in the Blastenhof section. We never did get on any of the tube rides in the old section of the park because the lines were so long. We spent 5 hours for 7 slides.
2. I have never seen any amusement park as run down as this one (OK, maybe New York's Coney Island at it's worst). Peeling paint, cracked plaster, cobwebs in the rafters, you name it.
2.A. It seemed like a good idea - they put green indoor/outdoor carpet over much of the concrete walkways. This makes the pavement comfortable to walk on, even on the 100 degree F day we visited. Unfortunately it also means the park stinks - literally. There is the distinct smell of mildew in sections of the park that have this treatment.
3. The layout of the park is extremely bad. The older section is squeezed along the river in such a way that it's difficult to tell where each ride starts. The new sections are laid out better, but you have to take a bus from the old section to the new areas and the walk between the new areas is long and unshaded.
4. Service areas, such as lockers, are very cramped, even in the newer sections.
5. The park has been running for 30 years, you'd think in that time someone would have figured out how to set up queues for lockers, etc. The crowd management definitely needs some work.
6. They advertise proudly that they use unfiltered river water, but then in the kid's section they say the river water has been 'UV filtered'. If the water is so clean, why do they need to filter it for the kids? If they have to filter it for the kids, why not for the rest of us?
In short, if you live in San Antonio or Austin, this is the only game in town and it's not terrible. It is definitely not a destination park - if you live outside the area, spend your vacation somewhere else. For example, Water World near Denver is about the same size, has as many rides, is clean, and you've got a view of the Rocky Mountains.
I'm glad I've seen Schlitterbahn. My curiosity is satisfied. I'm in no hurry to go back.
This used to be an annual trip when I was younger. I haven't been going as often but it's still a good time. The lazy river is my favorite part but ever since I found out about the comal river literally next door it's not as cool to pay to use it. This location is still much better than the one they opened up in Galveston.
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Ooo Myyy Loorrdd!!! Rollercoaster on water, hell yeah!!! I came all the way from LA to this water theme park for this specific coaster called Master Blaster after watching on travel channel that this was the #1 water theme park in USA. I totally agree with it!!! I may be biased since I haven't even been to Hurricane Harbor or Raging Water (ranked #10 in USA) locally, but boy oh boy, this water theme park totally blew my mind!!!
It's so huge that we had to ride a bus from East part to West and then the park was splitted again into another 2 different sections where they had the slow river and some boogie bahn attractions and the other was the extreme rides such as Master Blaster and Black Knight and Wave Pool. The waiting was pretty long for Master Blaster, just like waiting for a rollercoaster at regular theme park, but for me, it's totally worth it. No other water park has this kind of coaster on water!!! Where others have slides coming down only, this one gave you a ride of a lifetime, ups and downs and sideways, just totally an awesome ride.
East side was more of the original Schlitterbahn where all the rides are pretty short and not challenging enough for me, but my first ride, that sliders with holding on to the floaters was a great start for the day, luv it, but after that we saw longer lines, decided to skip it, we went to the West part where more new rides are featured.
There's a new ride called Dragon's Revenge, it's more gentle than the Master Blaster but had the same foundation of a rollercoaster ride, but with more laser-high-tech-effect along the journey, but the waiting, oh the waiting was so much longer than Master Blaster. I guess new ride always got more attention.
Overall verdict, I luv this theme park and definitely would come back for it. It's so much cheaper than the ones in here and more rides to offer as well. It also got ICEE for all different flavors from Pina Colada to regular Blueberry. Just like other theme parks, it sells Turkey leg as well and I luv their Roasted Corn. The one coolest thing that they adapt is wearing waterproof bands instead of having your money wet in your pocket, you can purchase wristbands that worth the money you owe. Another best part, you can bring your own meal and drinks and you can just put your stuff on the seat you found and it's there when you came back. Like I said, this park is not expensive and it has all the great thing water theme park could offer. Lastly, parking can be a pain, but I came like an hour late, we still pretty good parking site, so can't complain at all!!!
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Unbelievable Water Park
This is the best water park in world. The park is so large that it is divided into two parts with a tram to transport you across. The water rides defy the imagination. After having experienced several first-rate water parks, this one outclasses them all. There is nothing better than spending a hot Texas day at Schlitterbahn.
Friends and family aside, Schlitterbahn (and the surrounding rivers) are the sole reason why I'd think about moving back to Texas. I love water and this waterpark is like my personal Mecca.
One day I will get on my knees on the Boogie Bahn!
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I am a big kid. That is not a secret. Therefore, I always make the annual pilgrimmage to Schlitterbahn in the summer. However, I try to pick the day that nobody else is going to go. What a joke!
In Texas, when it is over 100 degrees, everybody comes out of the woodwork every single day. That is the only negative in my opinion, assuming you are able to dismiss the common waterpark issues like obese people in thongs, waiting in lines with kids that smell like cheese and feet, and the cost and hassle of trying to eat, drink or do anything that involves money inside of the park.
As far as the park is concerned, everybody knows that this is one of highest rated waterparks in the world. The river running through it is pretty cool, and provides a unique setting. They have the Master Blaster, which is a really cool water roller coaster, as well as the surfing machine and some new things that I have yet to try. With kids pools and lounge areas, they really do have something for everybody.
I will likely make my trip down in the following weeks, and will write an update after I do. Stay tuned...
I went here for my 20th birthday and I gotta say, this place is so fun I wish I could afford a season pass
Do NOT pay attention to the "levels" they assign rides, assess them yourself. My 8 year old brother went with me and was able to go on all the "super scary" red diamond rides that I did. I have scoliosis and am a total chicken liver when it comes to rides, so I didn't go on the three super tall slides in the West park, but everything else was great.
They have funnel cake and turkey legs which totally make my life, best food everrrr.
If you want to have a cute little weekend getaway with a few friends, rent out one of the houses across the street from the west park if you don't want to stay at the actual park itself.
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The Mother of All Water Parks. A really perfect place. Lots of trees make for lots of shade. The whole thing feels very "family" run. and the variety of attractions makes for a great, great day. The highlight was The Torrent, a not-so-lazy river powered by a giant wave machine. Love how the place is tucked in a residential community. Like if you were visiting friends and instead of there being a local park, you stumbled upon DisneyWorld.
Only complaint, the food sucks. But, they have even solved that by allowing you to bring in your own grub.
Oh, another nice touch. Pre-paid cash wristbands to allow you to buy stuff without lugging around soggy bills.
Oh, also love the weird, non-English names for almost everything. A touch of Europe inside Texas.
FOUR stars for the water park less one star for the 30 year outdated motel rooms. The rooms were not expensive just kinda funky with easy access to the water park.Going back and forth all day to the room and water park is awesome ! Bring your cooler full of food and drinks into the park and keep the alcohol in your car or room.
This is a must do place when near New Braunfels
I LOVE the Schlitterbahn. I prefer the older section of the park to the newer ones. The older section is very quaint and right on the Comal River. There are a lot of trees and tube rides that are long. The newer section is concrete and plastic with hardly any cover. I waited in line for 90 minutes to ride the "Master Blaster" which is one of the signature rides. It is a water roller coaster. It was fun but definitely not worth 90 minutes.
The outdated rooms are the only reason it does not get five stars. I stayed at the Inn at The Bahn in a small room and it was $160/night. It was great being able to go from the room to the park so I will probably stay there again but please update the rooms. I think the comforter on the bed was circa 1970.
The park is VERY kid friendly with many areas for small children and the rides are kid friendly as well.
Great people watching!
Tips to enjoy your day:
GET HERE EARLY! They will let you in before "opening" time but that's when you get in line. If you get there an hour before opening you'll be able to hit the Trio on the NEW side of the park a few times(Master Blaster, Wolf Pack and Family something).
Don't bother with flip flops or anything of the sort. (Sure, wear water shoes but I didn't feel like looking like a dork all day)
Wear whatever YOU will be comfortable walking around in all day. I wore black capri yoga pants with a bit of stretch to em and my bathing suit top and was super comfortable. Just make sure whatever you're wearing will stay put when you're being torn apart on the rides.
Pack a cooler! I know it seems risky to pack a nice big cooler full of food and just leave it unattended at a picnic table but it's what everyone does and no one messes with your stuff.
I recommend the splash cash. It's a bit bulky if you buy a lot but it's really convenient.
Skip the bar in the spa on the new side.
You can NEVER put on too much sunblock.
Invest in the 2 day tickets. Totally worth it. You can't do everything in one day.
Ahhh! I love the wave pool below the Master Blaster! It's SO FUN. I spent most of my time here relaxing in a big ol tube.
I love this place and am hoping to visit it again this summer. The older side of the park is a bit dank and odd but I really enjoyed the newer side. Maybe when I pop a few out we'll make a annual thing of it.
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Hands down, best water park in the Southern States! Almost drowned here when I was younger, to my avail I was rescued from the endless river by a parent. Still, this place rocks!
We spent most of our time at the Blastenhoff section of the park, the newest part. So here's what it is - a 300 yard river with waves in it that circles around the parks rides, all THREE of them. Only one of those rides, the Master Blaster, is what I would consider a great ride. We went on a Wednesday and still had to wait 90 minutes to ride the Master Blaster. So if you like standing in long lines all day to ride a few mediocre rides then this might be the experience for you.
The river was alright I'll admit, but it was wall to wall people with no room to breath. Still, we spent most of our time there because it was the only place to stay cool, because going on the rides meant standing in line for at least an hour to experience a 10 second yawn fest.
Then we decided to stroll over to Surfenburgh. This area actually looked decent for those with small children as it had a nice kiddie pool, then again not sure that would be worth $30 a person. Anyway, our venture to this side of the park consisted of waiting in line for an hour for the Family Blaster ride which took all of 9 seconds. But that WAS long enough for two of the people on opposite sides of our raft to get airborne and headbutt each other. Then we tried Boogiebahn. Again, a looong wait for about 4 seconds of "fun".
Save your money and go somewhere that isn't packed to the gills.
I live near Noah's Ark Water park which is in the Wisconsin Dells. And I was excited to go to Schlitterbahn since it is supposed to be just as good. Well it isn't. It isn't even close.
The park is too spread out. I would have liked to go back to the first part of the park after a while but didn't because it is a hassle having to take a bus. Also, there are play lands for babies all over and not enough real rides for us "big kids". On the new side of the park there are four "real" slides that have about a two hour wait each (even though we went on a slow day). We went on only three of the four because we wanted to see the other side of the park too. Two of the three (Dragons Revenge and the Master Blaster) kept breaking down (making the wait time even longer). At one point they had to stop the Master blaster and go in and get the people off the ride. These were the "biggest" rides they had and even though they had a long wait they were still not very thrilling. Actually, Dragons revenge was quite slow.
The older part of the park is just that. OLD and dirty. It seriously needs a face lift. The tube rides were fun and had less wait times but that is because they were just letting people all go down at the same time and pile up in the tube rides. At one point I was landed on by a rather large man coming down the slide behind me. I was interested in this part of the park because the rides use natural water from the river which is untreated and a few of the rides empty out into the river. This is a cool idea in theory, but it was kind of gross in some areas where algae was allowed to build up on the slides. The inner tubes used for this part of the park are actual rubber truck tubes and mine must have been dirty or perhaps the rubber was breaking down because the black stuff rubbed off all over my bathing suit and skin. The "resort" is located in this area and it quite run down looking as well. It looks like one of those sketchy motels that you might find a vibrating bed at. :)
We ran into another person at the park who used to live by Noah's Ark and his opinion was the same. Noah's Ark is a MILLION times better! Sorry Texas.... stick to the BBQ! :)
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have to agree with Jai as there isn't much to add to these reviews. I remember the first year I lived in the area and we went at least 11 times that summer. My favorite ride (if you want to call it that) is the Torrent River which surrounds the "tower" at Blastenhoff. Its a lazy river but with waves!
If you want to ride the infamous Master Blaster be prepared to wait in line for quite a while unless you get there right at opening, its quite popular and the line gets long. Usually the Black Knight and Wolf Pack have a much shorter line.
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Schlitterbahn is the shizz! I went there twice last year and I'm going next week--weee!
First and foremost, it is AWESOME that they have FREE parking AND you can bring a cooler of your own drinks and food into the park (no glass, no booze). It's kind of crappy when people bring their cooler in the park and then leave it on a picnic table to "save" it for later. That makes me want to steal your chips--esp when they're my favorite kind! Do everyone a favor, leave the cooler in your car and when you're ready to eat, go out and get it. There are definitely not enough picnic tables for everyone to be staking their claim on as they play in the park, but I digress...
I've always gone there RIGHT when they've opened and bee line it for the Master Blaster...an uphill water coaster! I had a waterproof case for my camera and recorded a video of the mayhem, it was a thrill and the wait wasnt terriblely long.
So many chutes, so many water slides, so much fun! When we went during Labor Day weekend last year, it was a bit on the chilly side so the massive hot tub was lovely to soak in.
I dared to attempt the boogie bahn--ladies, just make sure you have a secure bathing suit. While waiting in line, I saw so many boobs and butt cheeks get exposed that it was no wonder that the arena had a male audience. I was able to shield the goods when my suit shifted after I had a wipe out :oD
This place restored my faith in water parks. I was alway grossed out by them as a kid, but Schlitterbahn's facilities were always clean and maintained. Bring water shoes...I still wouldnt touch the ground with my bare feet though...
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REDNECK AMERICA UNITE! Good gravy, was I just there on the wrong day or what? Now it was fun, there's water, and castles, and waves and what not. You will have a good time on both sides of the park...just be very prepared because you will:
1. See the most awful tattoos known to man. I saw a guy with the ENTIRE state of Texas outlined on his whole back. There was little star and out of the star came the giant letter spelling ABILENE! Cuz I guess if you're from Abilene, you're just THAT proud.
2. Have to break up at least one fight. Yep, drunk teens mistakenly hassling handicapped teen, who they thought was cutting in line. I used my Ninja skills to save the skinny little guy.
3. See more bling and gold high heels than you should ever see on a giant water slide. I bet they chipped their teeth on the way down. And how did those girls climb all the stairs? Do they hike in those?
4. Finally...fake boobs. Poorly done fake boobs. Do you know what East/West means? You will.
We did have fun. The park is set into the cliffs, feeds into the river, has a hot tub bar, and the coolest lazy river combined with a wave pool making a giant wave circle ever. But be prepared, and I don't mean just with sunblock. You might want a little hand sanitizer.
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Schlitterbahn is awesome!
Start off by calling in sick to work on a Wednesday or a Thursday. Then, the night before, go to your nearest HEB and get some tickets along with some sandwich stuff, drinks and maybe some yummy fruit. Wake up early the next morning and pack your cooler with everything but alcohol. Try to get to the Blastenhoff entrance a little bit before 10:00 am. Get your wristbands and some splash cash and then stake your claim to a shady picnic table. You and your friends can meet here throughout the day for snacks, lunch, reapplying sun screen, etc.
Go to the tower rides first before the lines get too long. The Master Blaster and the Black Knight are the best. Then spend lots of fun times in the Torrent going around in circles on some tubes. Take the short scenic walk over to Surfenburg where you can ride the Dragon's Revenge and the Boogie Bahn if you are brave or have superior boogie boarding skills. Rest up a bit in the Dragon's Lair where you can purchase a frosty beverage with your splash cash. Check out the Surf Gift Shop on your way back to your shady picnic table and maybe get a fluffy souvenir or some cool board shorts.
Picnic with all your friends and some newly met ones who might be sitting around you and then chill for a few minutes. After lunch, you are off to grab a short bus ride to the older side of the park. Go down the stairs from the Castle Entrance where you will make your most important decision of the day - which tube do I choose as my trusty companion? Tube to your hearts content, but don't miss the Raging River or the Hillside rides. Splash lots of innocent bystanders, make some more new friends along the way and spend some more of your splash cash on nice chilly beverages.
When the day is over, assess your party's energy level. If it is high, go to the Gristmill River Restaurant and Bar. If it is medium, go to Rudy's Country Store and Bar-B-Q. If it is low, drive through someplace on your way home. But try to save enough energy for the Gristmill or Rudy's. If you make it home alive, then call in sick for one more day and sleep in late and then demand that someone make you breakfast in bed.
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Well it IS the World's Best Water Park, right? YES! I can't add anything really- I'm glad that I went in May and I'm glad I went early. I love Schlitterbahn- I've been coming since I was a kid and I feel like a kid when I come back...the little tikes area is really well done and is designed with the kids in mind- my 3 yo and 19 mo had a complete blast and so did their dad when I went down the slides and lit it up!
It's been YEARS! Since I have been back home, and well I love this place! Yady-yah ok so we might be a lil red neck in these parts, but at least for the most part we are courteous. LOL!
The slides are fun, and well hey its a WATER PARK! Can't swim? Don't worry you won't drown! Its not that deep! Just go and have fun that is what it is all about!
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I've only been to a couple of water parks in my lifetime and I have to say that Schlitterbahn tops them all! I was a little nervous at first because I am not a strong swimmer but once I was inside and saw that most of the rides are fairly shallow, I felt better. Also, there was plenty of staff and lifeguards about.
I also thought it was nice that you could bring your own cooler inside. My friend and I left ours in the car in the FREE parking lot and got it later when we were hungry for lunch. In that way we didn't take up a picnic bench and we didn't risk anything being stolen while we were off having fun.
Another thing that impressed me was the cost to get in the park. I'm from Massachusetts and most parks up here cost a fortune to enter and you can't bring your own food inside. It was worth it to me to pay 30 something bux to get into a park with decent rides, little wait time compared to some other parks and free parking!
Overall I had a fantastic time! I loved all the tube chutes and the water roller coaster was quite the experience! Despite seeing some pretty bad tattoos (though it did keep me entertained while I was in line) and boobs in need of more support, I thought the atmosphere was good. One other thing I noticed is a lot of people don't even wear bathing suits but wear regular shorts and tee shirts into the park!
I can't wait to go back!
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What is there not to like about this place? This is the ultimate Waterpark!! Everything from the Master Blaster and Wolf Pack to the Torrent River is awesome!! Oh and the fact you can bring in your own cooler of goodies in is very nice!! Highly Recommended!!!!
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This review really should be split into two categories -- the park and the hotel. Schlitterbahn Waterpark was great and a lot of fun. There's plenty to do for both adults and kids. There are the big, water chute rides that are a lot of fun, and several wade pools with slides for kids and a spray park. We almost couldn't get my daughter off the lazy river.
But -- and this is a big but -- the hotel is awful. The outside was dirty. There were cigarette buts and an empty coke bottle outside our hotel room door. And the inside won't much better. The ceiling had tiles stained from water leaks and the shower was terrible.
Overall, I would recommend the park for a fun, family outing, but don't plan on staying the night. Drive home or go to San Antonio.
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OMG! I LOVE SCHLITTERBAHN!!! They have the best commercials, "Come plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! SCHLITTERBAHN Bahn bahn!" When I hear that song in the summertime, I want to drop everything I am doing and hop the nearest train to New Braunfels. Very effective advertising.
I like to go on a weekday when school is still in session. I once had an employer, a friend of mine, that would declare one May day a year Schlitterbahn Day and we would drive to New Beezfels to go to Schlitterbahn. The line for the Master Blaster is much shorter than in the dead of summer.
I love the slides, the range of slides and the fact that you can slip into a giant hot tub that feels like warm piss water and get a beer. LOVE that you can bring your own food and non-alcoholic drinks. LOVE that nobody judges you for what your body looks like since the place is crawling with families and not 14 year old girls. HATE that all of the most exciting slides are so short. They need to make a Master Blaster that lasts for 15 minutes. If anyone can do it, Schlitterbahn can.
Touchy-Feely Sharing Time Alert (do not read if you are disgusted by sap): I have a huge fear of falling, especially over water, and I wouldn't ride on waterslides for most of my life. I'm not a strong swimmer and anything where I might be plunged into even shallow water makes my skin crawl. I got over that fear at this park. They make their slides so attractive that you have to get on them, even if you're scared to death of them. Schlitterbahn normalized water slides for me and I love them for that.
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Are you freaking serious?!! I'm seriously the first person to review Schlitterbahn!??!
First of all, they have a water slide, that shoots you UP. YES. I SAID UP. It works great.. just make sure your trunks are tied on nice and tight... otherwise the jets of water that push you up will rip your shorts right off. Now this can be a good or bad thing... depending on what you're into.
Secondly, this place is HUMONGOUS! I have never been to a waterpark this huge. It's quite ridiculous.
The Lazy River is the laziest I have ever been on in my life, i swear it feels like it's ten miles long (okay, fine, slight exaggeration, but it's effing long) - oh and there's a part that dunks you right into the Guadalupe River!! OH! - and there's a lazy river that has WAVES IN IT. What!? you think i'm joking, but i'm really not!!
Oh, and don't like cold water? well there's more than three GIGANTIC hot tubs!!! some with bars attached to them! Seriosuly, this place is pretty rad.
If you ever go to Austin in the hot-ass summer - make this a side trip... it's about an hour away and totally fun.
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What the hizzle? Voted the World's Best Waterpark 9 Years Running! By who?! Actually, this place was a lot better than the defunct place near where I grew up in Virginia, called Water World (which the older neighborhood kids used to refer to as "Africa" for some inexplicable reason).
We went on a Saturday accompained by 3 kids ages 3 to 11. The two younger ones definitely had fun in the (suspiciously warm) wading pool, while the older one had fun on the various tube rides and slides. We benefit ted from a pretty thin Saturday crowd, so we found the visit relaxing.
The park is huge, 65 acres, but facilities are kind of old. Not rubbish, just old. On a summer day, take advantage of their special after 3pm rates where you save $10 off their already overpriced admission fee of $35.
I learned 3 things:
1) Waterparks are definitely for kids
2) It's very hard to mess up funnel cake
3) Texas has the highest per capita ratio of fugly bodies with inappropriate tattoos than any other state south of the Mason-Dixon line (fyi southern Cali has the highest per capita ratio of fugly car bodies with inappropriate body kits than any other state)
I assure you, had I been 10 years old, this would have been the most epic day of my life. Instead, it's definitely a kid's day outing kinda place. Not sure I'd ever book a room at the attached resort.
Parking should never been a problem.
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The idea of going to a water park makes me think of being smashed under a petrie dish, sifting through bloated cigarette butts, hot dog buns, used band-aids and kiddie urine.
Welcome to the Schlitterbahn.
I must admit the kid inside got a little rickety at seeing the mass of rides, despite the lines.
And floating around the "Torrent," I did appreciate the Texas-centric experience of having the Dixie Chicks blaring over the speakers as I tried to avoid bumping into gross looking people.
The 'aggressive' rides are pretty fun, although the ones where you climb 20 flights of stairs can have a long wait. And if you don't like heights, well, may want to skip it.
This park is worth at least one visit, especially if you have kids, but it will cost you. Not just the adult and child admission (kids start at $28.50, but if you go mid-day- after 3:30, it's $19.86), but the lockers are 6 bucks a piece, and if you choose to eat there, well, may the force be with you.
Best way to forget about the diseases you've just contracted, take the Hill Country way back and stop at the Saltlick. There's nothing like gorging to your heart's content after a day of reckless abandon/ challenged immune system spectacular.
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Schlitterbahn...bahn...bahn.
How can you not like the biggest waterpark ever? And if you get tired of lines and rides, take a tube and go tubing in the river.
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I don't thnk I can add too much to everyone else's reviews other than just make sure you wear your flip flops! Some of the still water that gets caught up in the common areas can get a little gross...


