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Ross Dress For Less
1 review for Ross Dress For Less
I don't dress for less.
I'm a girl.
I spend too much on clothes and then I can't afford to eat for a few months. So what? At least I look good, right?
Well, that's just the thing....
I looked down at my thighs recently and, well, lets just say I won't be wearing the micro shorts I sported just a few years back, when I was young, in shape college gal....because no one likes an eyeful of saggy cheese leg.
So on my way home from work I decided I was gonna stop at Ross and look for a Yoga mat and then I'd head over to Best Buy to purchase some workout videos....cause I'm poor and can't afford a gym membership. Feel sorry for me...ok go!
And Voila! While Yoga mats cost a minimum of $20 online, you can find a hot pink one that smells like rubber at Ross for $7.99! Score! I could start to feel my love handles getting smaller by the moment.
Oh man, just lifting this thing off the shelf has to be burning like, what? 300 calories? I'm sooo in shape!
As I make my way up to the registers to buy my new miracle mat I run across a display of DVDs, and wouldn't you know it??? They had Yoga DVDs....
And it didn't stop there...
Billy Blank's Retarded Brother Gets Down with Pilates!
Susy Liposuction Groves with Bad Ass Hip-Hop Moves!
Tango with Tangeray!
Abby Assbanger the Ab Queen!
OMG! For the low, low price of $4.99 I too can look like that cracked out whore with a six pack of steel on the front of this cheesy workout DVD! OMG! OMG! OMG! I can totally fit into that dress from 4 years ago....in my head.
In addition to my magic carpet/Yoga mat, I bought a yoga DVD that runs you through the basics and makes your thighs burn while the woman on the TV is telling you to take deep breaths, but all you want to do is reach through the screen and pull her dirty blond hair.
And a hip hop dance DVD that must have been made in the late 90s. While jumping around my living room like an epileptic, it dawned on me that all those times I thought I had rhythm, I was lying to myself. Because seriously, I couldn't follow the steps to save my life. At least I was alone on this workout conquest.
But thanks to Ross Dress for Less I'm able to skip around my apartment like a kindergartener on speed in workout clothes that cost more than my rent to a DVD that was most likely made at the local high school. I love it! I love it! I got it at Ross!