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Lackluster food, long waits, and "meh" service. Papermoon used to be funky, interesting, and a decent place to grab a bite. The quality's long since gone downhill, the kitchy funk is tired and dusty, and most of the staff don't look like they really want to be there.
There are better greasy spoons in B'more. Papermoon isn't worth the trip and the aggravation of trying to find a parking space that won't get you towed.
I don't get this place, and I don't get this town (and I live here). First things first: Papermoon sucks. The food is bad. I don't feel great saying that because our friends, who live a couple blocks away, insisted we go and couldn't believe that, after six years of living here, we hadn't been to one of their favorite spots in town. Well, I'll tell you. That was two hours and $40 I'll never get back, and I'm sorry about it. I checked out the online menu in advance and, given the slightly high prices, was thinking the diner items might have something of a twist or an update. Not so much. Instead, it was just the same copious quantities of low-grade shit on a plate you can get pretty much any place in town, with cutesy names, in a tacky, obnoxious setting. I ate 1/3 of my chicken sandwich, which came with "tarragon mayo" (I guess), avocado, and bacon, not that you could tell from the taste, and my husband ate less still of his chicken parmigiana on farfalle. He's a big hungry boy, too, so I know it had to be bad. When we got in the car, he asked me what I thought. I said it sucked. He said the missing ingredient appeared to be flavor. When he added salt, fennel, black pepper, and some olive oil to his leftovers, they perked up.
Why, god, why? Why is so hard to get a decent freaking meal in Baltimore? Before the haters all descend to remind me about Charleston, and Cinghiale, and Pazo (more on that later and it has nothing to do with the food), and Birches (more on that later and in that case it also has to do with the food, which is horrid, and I cannot believe people think Birches qualifies as "fine dining" but I suppose that's Baltimore), and Woodberry Kitchen - fine. Let's take the dozen decent high end restaurants out of the equation. What's left? Indigma is nice. Helmand is decent, if overtouted. All those Salvadoran joints on Broadway are great for an inexpensive meal. On a hit or miss basis, some of the places in Fell's Point are good for a burger. Apart from the costly pies at Iggie's you can't get an edible pizza to save your life. And that's about it, from what I can tell.
Baltimore needs to get over itself. I've had it with the tacky quirky places (looking at you, Rocket to Venus and all you other Hampden Hon locales), all the pretentious joints that think they need to have written rules of conduct for their customers (Birches and Pazo, you're not that special - get a velvet rope and a bouncer if you think you're so great), and the behind-the-curve wannabes (Jack's Bistro, not everything has to be cooked sous-vide, and even if it does, Disco Stu doesn't advertise). It upsets me that I can get a better meal at the stand-up bar at Iron Bridge in Columbia than at 99% of the restaurants in Baltimore.
I hate to wait, I hate to wait
It makes me think and contemplate:
"Should I get up, throw empty plates?"
The food is late, the food is late.
My server must be dead in back,
My God, he had a heart attack??!
The cook just quit and won't be back???!!!
An appetizer, something, Jack!!!
It took so long, but I'll be strong
The entrée's cool, not tasting wrong,
I love smoked salmon in my eggs,
But why so long, I hate to beg.
Overall, I've got to say,
The service slow, food a-ok.
I will be back, still like it here,
Their regulars oft do reappear.
When I lived in Charles Village in the mid 1990s, I used to enjoy Paper Moon. Kitschy, cool, earthy, mismatched chairs and the like. Large portions, filling meals, even though the service was a little scattered.
Since moving back to Baltimore in September, twice I have been to Paper Moon, following last call, in the final quarter hour before 2 am. Twice, I have been there with minutes to spare before 2 am. And twice I have been told, that I was too late, to be served. They used to be open 24 hours. Now 2 am.
Last night, the hostess was rude shoving me out the door even though I was there at 1:58.
Paper Moon, what happened? You used to be a fun place to go to or take newbies and out of towners to.
However, surly hostesses are gonna keep me away from this mediocre, overpriced late night grub.
I ended up at the Johns Hopkins Uni Mini buying some pancakes and making my own omelette at home.
Here's a newsflash. You don't keep customers with craptastic front of house service like that.
This is a diner I use to frequent and love because it was fun and cheap. Coming back a few years later with my 3 year old I was so disappointed. The increase in price was unbelievable. I couldn't find a sandwich under $8 and it didn't even come w' fries (which was an extra $2.50). The kid's meals were all priced at $7, so I think it a joke to say kid friendly at least not for the food or price. I think Papermoon must mean paper as in $$$ moon diner.
Yes, the decor is quite neat, and you have to like all the primary colors, but somehow I never could get beyond the rather average breakfast fare. Miss Shirley's on Cold Spring Lane or Golden West on the Avenue are far better brunch options. But I would not dissuade you from trying the Papermoon for yourself. It's a good experience, all in all.
The first meal I had in Baltimore after 24 hours of driving up from Miami and another six hours of moving in my buds furniture up three flights of stairs
Remember the kid from Toy Story that blew up toys or mutilated his and his younger sister's toys to make crazy looking cross breeds and almost destroy Buzz with a rocket? well this is the restaurant that he opened up
You have to see it to understand it
It could have been that I was a bit delirious but the "Fancy Pants Burger" (I had to have it just for the name) was really good even though the bun was twice the size of the burger itself It wasn't a small patty just a huge bun It came with sweet fries and I love those
The service was great and highly attentive so maybe they have fixed some of the issues that others have brought up They are not open 24 hours any longer but open later than most places in Balmore
Hot simple food (burgers, omelets, wraps pancakes,etc.) huge portions for the price!
I came in late on a Thursday and sat at the counter. The grill cook was really friendly and no one was upset that I came in late as they were trying to wind down and close shop.
The decor is a lot of fun to look at; while your waiting for your food be sure to walk around and look at all of the toys hanging in/on/around the walls - chances are you've owned half of them at some point!
This is really a love or hate it type of place, and unfortunately I'm in the latter group. Until semi-recently it was open 24 hours, which is pretty rare in the northern part of Baltimore. Even though their food was never great, I loved going into a PACKED place at 3 AM with friends. Once they cut their hours though, I haven't seen a reason to go back.
The food itself is nothing special, okay at best. For the price, not worth it. Breakfast food is your best bet, but again, it's nothing I couldn't make myself. As lots of reviewers have noted, service is awful. The staff is actually full of nice people, but they just don't pay attention to you. Paper Moon doesn't assign tables to it's staff members, so anyone walking by is your waiter. While that in theory may be better for a busy environment, it just doesn't work here. I've sat for 30+ minutes before waiting to order, or get a refill on my drink.
It's a shame, as it really is a very eclectic and cool place. I haven't been in awhile, so I may give it another chance in the future, and hopefully it's improved.
unique place that's worth visiting at least once.
the style is very laid back, eclectic. shit everywhere. like barbies glued to the ceiling everywhere. it's cool though.
the waiters work in teams. if you need anything, ask any of them. one person might take your drink order, another your meal.
the food was OK. not bad. not wow. pretty standard diner fare almost...
+1 for the cool atmosphere though.
I walk in and immediately I notice dust all over the "artwork". Well, anyway, grab a seat and order. So we do that and the server, oh MAN, wtf is up his ass? Hipster doofus who is pissed he ain't at Club Charles on a Saturday night.
And the food? Gimme a break. So bland and worthless its not even worth telling you about what I had.
I've been a few times and I just can't do it anymore. When the Peeps say "Lets go to Papermoon", I say, "Thats OK. I'm going home to heat up a Hot Pocket."
Solid breakfast fare in a funky place with pretty good service.
I got a kick out of the bathroom. I went without too many expectations and ended up with an enjoyable meal. I had one of the suggested omelettes, with salmon, cream cheese and black olives. Nothing to write home about but I enjoyed the combination and it fueled me for a long, leisurely walk around the hood and over to the Waverly Farmer's Market.
Coffee was pretty weak diner-standard fare. Still, no major complaints here. I would definitely put this on the top of the list of places to go for the post-drinking, pre-hangover 4 am breakfast feast.
I have friends who refuse to go camping if its going to rain. They just can't laugh about how horribly soaking-wet they are and enjoy themselves. Choosing Papermoon as your dinner destination should be thought of much along the same lines. If you can't laugh about a dirty, grimy dining room, bitchy waitstaff, bad food, etc. and enjoy yourself anyway - don't go.
It seems all the reviews say pretty much the same thing and yet the star counts are either very high or very low. I think there's a psychology lesson in here somewhere. Some people love to have a great story about how weird or crappy an experience they've had, and some people just want a good meal.
That said, I personally love to go camping in the rain. All my most memorable trips were the "worst" ones. I WOULD go back to the Papermoon with friends. However, as i feel my rating should accurately reflect the effort and food provided by the establishment, they're getting a single star from me. It's not to say you can't have a good time there, it's just that if you DO, you're having it because you can thrive in adversity.
Great food. Try something diffrent like Lucy Fur. The decor in this joint is like none other.
Our local friend took us to Papermoon Diner the other night whilst giving us the grand tour of Baltimore. The place is...trippy. Primary colors and bright greens everywhere, toys stuck to every surface that's not a dining table. Weird, weird decor.
The menu isn't "diner extensive" (a War and Peace sized menu), but I bet there's enough to keep many people satisfied. Truth is, I didn't pay much attention because we were there for dessert. There wasn't a huge dessert selection, admittedly, but what was there was stellar.
Boyfriend had a lemon mousse-y type cake thing - looked like the crust was made from ladyfingers or something. Whatever is was, he devoured it!
I, being a fan of peanut butter in all forms, had the Peanut Butter Bliz. It's a cakey thing made of peanut butter mousse, maybe some chocolate mousse, a bit of chocolate syrup and a chocolate cookie crust. Light, yet heavy. Delicious, yet...who'm I kidding? Just plain delicious!
Our tour guide friend had the Triple Chocolate Mousse cake - I think there's actually cake in there somewhere amongst the mousse & chocolate syrup. Again, it was gone pretty quickly, despite the big dinner we'd just had at Cafe Hon.
If you like good desserts, at least, in a trippy atmosphere, head on over!
Oh, and a note to wheelchair-users: It doesn't look like there's a ramp, but it's there in the back. When you park in the diner's lot (the right side of the diner will be perpendicular to you), keep walking to your right to get to the back end of the place.
The decor here is definitely fun, but it's also very dirty and dusty. They should really pay someone to clean it because it's kind of gross to eat in such a dirty establishment.
The food is sub-par and overpriced. Hell, they aren't even open 24 hours anymore.
The service is DREADFUL. You never have the same server throughout the meal and it's nearly impossible to get refills on coffee, soda, etc. Also, they won't split checks.
They serve packets of syrup and honey mustard, like it's IHOP or something, but then they charge you like you're eating at Miss Shirley's or some other, better breakfast establishment.
Since they stopped being one of the only 24 joints in the city, I've stopped going. It was fine when it was 4am and the only option, but now, when it's 10pm and I still haven't eaten dinner, I'll go to the Dizz instead.
AVOID,
Now, I have a lot of beef with this place....where to begin.
Firstly, I'm over this Baltimore kitsch styling...and if this is the case for you...that the Bawlmer failed artist kitsch, and bad art (lame craft) triggers your twitches and OCD compulsions STAY AWAY FROM THIS PLACE. All this handmade funk folk art stuff is really just junk....and, plain old dirty.
Now, my real issue is with the food. While this place claims to provide pure goodness from the fine home-made country of mom in the kitchen...FORGET IT....it's all pre-fab SYSCO franchise fare......keep your eye on the open kitchen and see for yourself....these guys are far from anything actually made by themselves....this is not cooking...this is preparing, ummmm heating up like airline dinners....the only reason I bring this up is to break all of these illusions people have that this Papermoon is some kind of unique find.
Here's a perspective: Papermoon is Denny's with dirt.
AVOID (unless hung-over and still boozed enough to not-drive to Double-T)
Now its not everyday you come across a diner as unusual as this one. And I don't just mean the food! This place looks like a child's toy box splattered all over the place! But still, the food really is awesome! This is more of a sit down dinner place than a diner, but you really have to go there just to understand (there isn't a word to describe a place like this)!
When I first moved to Baltimore, I heard all these great things about Papermoon diner: 24 hour service, great place for food after a night out, really trippy decor, etc. I've been there a few times, and the food is acceptable. It's good if you have the late night munchies - or a craving for brinner (breakfast for dinner). Their milkshake flavor is subpar (chocolate, vanilla, strawberry), so that's kind of disappointing. Also they've in recent months ceased to be a 24-hr diner, even on weekends. Which is kind of lame considering their website url is still http://papermoondiner2...
to comment on the restroom (since it's on my list). it wasn't so much cool as scary. The mannequin as you turn the corner on your way out freaked me out. I guess I forgot it was there between the time i went in and came back out, but regardless. freaky.
Im only writing a small paragraph about this place because to me, thats all its worth. bad food, bad service, overpriced, and annoying. I cant understand how people frequent this dump to look at stupid things nailed to the brightly painted walls. Get over it, this place sucks
note to other readers: i am not trying to be rude so please dont take offense, I just loath this place and it has always been crammed down my throat by tourists, and people who are new to Baltimore. there are many other great places to go in Baltimore
Fun decor and food was better as a less-picky student.
Eight years ago, I'd be giving Paper Moon five stars. They were always open, and as a JHU student it was a fun place to get big breakfasts at 4am after parties or studying.
I've had plenty of good food here, but the service has always been lacking. Years ago, I guess we didn't care as much - we were tired, up too late or too early, and just happy to have coffee and a menu big enough to please everyone that we'd shown up with.
The waits for a table used to feel like a rite of passage, but now they just seem annoying - probably because we know that at least three of those tables are waiting for their checks, trying to leave, but the waiters haven't brought them yet.
The last few times that we ate here, though, the service has been awful. Rude when we ask questions about things, forgetful of refills, and slow enough that eggs were cold. I'll pass. It was great while it lasted, and is still good in the middle of the night if you want something other than "traditional" diner food, but it's not somewhere we'd recommend during lunch or dinner.
Coffee is consistently excellent, but good luck getting a server to refill it.
3.5 stars for the food (the roll my sandwich came on was AWESOME and the onion rings were nice and crunchy) but 5 stars for the decor (because I LOVE weird shit) = 4 stars overall.
Fun Facts:
1. The door to the ladies room has a door that says you should knock first. Um, okay. I knocked. I didn't hear anything, but I didn't really try to hear anything so I entered and realized that the door didn't lock. If I had known that I would have put more care into listening for an "I'LL BE RIGHT OUT!"
2. I walked in and immediately thought that this place must be a BITCH to dust.
3. Aren't Pez collections OVER?
"This place reminds me of that demented kid's room from Toy story," whispered one of my dining companions as we sat down. Located near the Baltimore Museum of Art, Papermoon Café walks a fine line between creepy and eccentric, and I personally think it's creepy. The décor is a collection of someone's old basement toys but arranged in an unusual way. For instance, right above our table are plastic dolls pasted on the walls, but some dolls have 4 heads, missing limbs, etc. There is a life-size mannequin in the bathroom, which may be a show to those caught unawares. There's something disconcerting about eating with a dismembered stuffed animal head looking down at you.
Our party may have been in the minority that got creeped out by the décor since there were several families dining in relative serenity.
If you can overlook the environment, PMC has some things going for it. My friend's crabcake dish had some acceptable crabcakes, most of it wispy crab and not much filler. PMC has an extensive menu, all items with the typical American bent. I opted for the omelets, which all come with interesting fillings, such as avocado and bacon. The choice of bread included challah and sunflower, which was definitely a refreshing difference. Sadly, the omelet was so packed with avocado that for he first time, I realized there really is such a thing as too much avocado (which I normally love). The average food and atmosphere coupled with slightly steep prices makes it difficult for me to want to return.
Used to frequent Papermoon all the time in college, and have been back a few times since, including a few weeks ago. They've changed their menu, and I wasn't crazy about it; a lot of the standards are still there, but they took away some of my old faves. The service has gotten even worse, which I didn't think was possible -- the servers are surly, apathetic hipsters who couldn't care less if they serve you something completely different from what you ordered. And they aren't even open 24hrs. anymore.
And yet, I'll still go back because it revives old memories. And cause they serve breakfast all day.
While I really like the presentation of the restaurant, the food left a lot to be desired.
I ordered the "green eggs and hen" omelet. The chicken was really dry, and the omelet itself just sucked. The service was good. I especially liked that when my partner ordered tea, they brought out a big box for him to pick from. Papermoon would have gotten a much better review if the food was anything to write home about.
I am seriously frightened by the volume of people that raves about this place. So there's the decor--big whoop. There's a fine line between artsy/hip and obnoxious. In fact, the Papermoon rides entirely upon its reputation as "the place with the headless Barbies" and it clearly doesn't care about doing anything else well, or even right. What perplexs me is that it actually works. Knock out the walls and dislodge the severed heads, however, and all that remains is truckstop fare and an attitude problem. That's right: the servers are pointlessly pretentious hipsters who are too indifferent (or high) to bother doing their jobs. This place leaves me speechless.
I don't understand the people who say: "You don't go here for the food." Why the heck else would you go out to eat? I'm sure they wouldn't just let you sit there and gawk at the ceiling without placing an order.
I wish there was a place like Paper Moon in DC, but there isn't that I know of. Of course I have to love the atmosphere, which is truly Baltimore, although the mannequin in the ladies bathroom scared the bejesus out of me the first time I walked in there. Their french toast and bread pudding are probably the best I've ever had.
Can't wait to go back the next time I'm home!
Everyone I know who lives in baltimore seems to love this place so after a late night we stopped by for a quick dinner... well i just dont get it....
The decor isn't eclectic as my friends have said instead i see it as just weird and well the naked mannequins by the bathrooms scare me :(
The service was decent for the type of place and it being pretty late.
The food came highly rated by my friends but i wasn't crazy about it. I guess its a good late night spot but for all the hype i was let down.
Why do people come here? Every time that I've reluctantly returned to this place (out of the sheer convenience of it being the only place open at 4AM,) there has always been something wrong with the food. Once, the ketchup was rancid. In all of my life, I have never had bad ketchup and didn't even think it was possible, but at Papermoon, it was rotten. I really do not like this place.
However, the service is always nice so I have a hard time complaining.
The decor is tacky and grotesque. If you want to see a kitschy decor done right, go to Yaffa in New York. Paper Moon is a poor man's Yaffa.
I used to go to this place about 7 years ago when it was first getting some hype, wasn't as expensive, the service was better, and it was open all night. The only real reason to go to this place is the decor. The food is not that good. I'd give the food 3 stars probably but the poor service and high prices are not worth it just to go to a diner.
Wooowwwww...i totally forgot about this place until last month. I used to go here all the time when I was seeing a gf that went to Loyola. Stepping into Papermoon is like stepping into a repressed serial killer's basement. All the toys of his youth are still prominently displayed, albeit in horribly contorted and sometimes sexual positions. Aside from Duke from G.I. Joe giving Teen Fun Skipper what appears to be a rectal exam, the food there is actually pretty good, in my humble opinion. They had a great crab pasta dish there when I used to go many years ago that they unfortunately have taken off the menu, but they have lots of varied options for whatever you're looking for. If you're a veggie lover, they have you covered. Carnivore? They have got some piping hot meat for you too. Breakfast food lovers? They've got waffles! And killer shakes and smoothies. The service? They are definitely on some "now you see me, now you don't" shit. I haven't had a bitchy one yet, but I do wonder if the reason they're gone for so long is to help subdue the mystery meat in the back, in keeping with the serial killer theme. And I thought restaurants stopped playing Nirvana and REM on their sound systems at least 5 years ago...catch up, folks. I don't need to hear Losing My Religion on repeat at 11pm...it makes me sad. So...if you want a quick side-trip into Weird (aka Jeffrey Dahmer's brain), check it out. Don't be in a hurry to go anywhere though, but the food is pretty decent.
I have been to Paper Moon more times during the last 6 years than I would like to admit (easily 20+). I would like to share the following:
1. They are not open 24-hours (anymore).
2. The service can be good, but the service and attitude of the servers are more often disappointing.
3. The food is hit-or-miss. Of course if you're drunk, it can be delicious.
4. They will not accept take-out orders over the phone. You have to go to the diner, order, and then wait for your food to be cooked and boxed.
Since they are no longer open 24-hours, the over-priced food is no longer justified by their hours (and with their new hours I have little desire to visit again). I am also not a fan of any menu that begins with a list of 10+ rules that patrons are expected to follow during their visit. Finally, the atmosphere is way over-rated. It looks like my 5th grade bedroom threw up on the walls.
My best friend LOVES this place so naturally this was the first place she took me when I came to visit. I got the Philly cheese steak sandwich with garlic mashed potatoes. I'm from CA and have never had a real Philly cheese steak so who am I to say if it's authentic or not. Regardless both dishes were pretty good.
Now the restaurant itself was...unique to say the least. I can see the intrigue of it and although it was amusing at first, it's not exactly my ideal dining environment. The word creepy comes to mind but that's because I had an eye-less doll staring at me while I was eating.
Yeah, you read that right.
Most of the reviewers are right; I am amazed about the amount of press that this place gets for what it is. It's basically a glorified truckstop diner (I guess if you throw a little avocado in an omelette or offer veggie choices, you somehow transcend into some other realm of dining quality.) with kitschy shit nailed on the wall. The servers look extremely overworked and from what I hear, management makes servers pool tips. Hence the terrible service. At least you can leave a crappy tip and not feel bad. And a lot of the servers act pretty snotty. Example: After a meal recently, my check was brought out listing that I had purchased 2 chocolate milks, three sodas, an iced tea, two coffees and a water. When I informed the waitress that my party of three did not order these drinks, she said, "Are you sure?" Uh... what do you say to that?
It's definitely a weird place: if you come on the right day, you can be really impressed with everything. If you hit a busy night, be prepared to wait 40 minutes for a veggie wrap.
There's a view of Baltimore exemplified by the Wire and Homicide.
Then there is Charm City through the hazy lavender glow of a John Waters lens.
Papermoon, with its Kewpie dolls and headless Barbie's falls into the latter category; it is pure John Waters.
Open 24 hours, consistent, with an atmosphere that is a nice relief for those who seek something different from the anal retentive types over at Hopkins, Papermoon should satisfy all of your late night pangs. As an undergrad, exiled from California, I relied on the fact that I could have avocado added to nearly everything I ordered at Papermoon.
You don't go for the food. It's a diner. You go for the over-the-top decor. Like a mad scientist and plastic toy maker took over the place with a glue gun. Very festive, fabulous, tacky pretty. Waiters are all from planet Xenon. Fun place. Worth the schlep up 95.
Obviously don't come here if you are looking for a fancy dinner but the food is so simple and delicious and there are tons of vegetarian options. The staff and service is great, if you are in a rush then don't come but its perfect for a low key dinner.
After one too many drinks during the Baltimore Music Conference a friend and I needed to eat before making the long trek back to DC. Fortunately for me he new of Papermoon. Well the night was saved since this 24 hour veggie friendly diner was just what we needed.
The eclectic diner menu was so overwhelming as it was a book. I really don't like long menus but hey it's a diner. So I just opted for my usually monte cristo sandwhich. Well I was quite surprised. Somehow they mangaged to make the french toast taste like yellow cake. I still can't figure out if that was good or bad. It was tasty but I was expected a french toast flavor and not yellow cake. The service was pretty decent.
The place is so large that upon exit, we realized that the group of friends we were with earlier in the night were on the other side of the dining room.
Food poisoning and bad service await. Still, it does have an amusing decor. Has the city gotten around shutting this place down yet?
Reading all of these 1 and 2 star reviews upsets me. I haven't been back to Maryland since August, but every time I go home to visit, the Paper Moon is always on my list of places to go. It's where I'd take anyone visiting who has never been to Maryland or Baltimore. I was a vegetarian for a long time and this place has great options for the anti-meat types.
If John Waters' brain exploded and all of his thoughts materialized, I think the result would look a lot like the decor of the Paper Moon. This place IS Baltimore people. Show some love!
Baltimore, MD
Category: American (New)
Baltimore, MD
Category: Coffee & Tea
Baltimore, MD
Category: Vegetarian
Baltimore, MD
Category: Buffets
Baltimore, MD
Category: Diners
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