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Pagliacci Pizza

4 star rating
based on 127 reviews

Categories: Pizza, Italian

Neighborhood: Capitol Hill
426 Broadway Ave E
Seattle, WA 98102
(206) 726-1717
Hours:

Mon-Thu. 11:00 a.m. - 11:00 p.m.

Fri-Sat. 11:00 a.m. - 12:00 a.m.

Sun. 11:00 a.m. - 11:00 p.m.

Attire:
Casual
Accepts Credit Cards:
Yes
Parking:
Street
Price Range:
$
Good for Groups:
Yes
Good for Kids:
Yes
Takes Reservations:
No
Delivery:
Yes
Take-out:
Yes
Waiter Service:
No
Wheelchair Accessible:
Yes
Outdoor Seating:
Yes
Good for:
Lunch, Dinner
Alcohol:
Beer & Wine Only

127 reviews for Pagliacci Pizza

Review Highlights   

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"The pesto salad is killer too, and every time I visit home I get my fix." (in 6 reviews)
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"The best delivery pizza I have ever had, anywhere." (in 28 reviews)
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"Love the centioli and the gelato as sides for delivery." (in 9 reviews)
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Sort by: Yelp Sort | Date | Rating | Elites'
Photo of Amy M.

Elite '09

26

75

Amy M.

Seattle, WA

4 star rating
11/22/2009

This place is very convenient and pretty decent in price if you are just popping in for a slice or two. Getting an entire pie is a little pricey but they do make a damn good pie.

For slices they generally have about 4 different types of pizza you can get which is pretty decent for slices. Their bread sticks are pretty ok and the workers are always friendly here.

Great place to stop in if you need a quick, cheap bite to eat.

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Photo of C. Y.

 

3

35

C. Y.

Seattle, WA

4 star rating
11/14/2009

Pagliacci appeared to me like an oasis in the middle of the desert. When I first moved to Seattle in '99 I lusted for pizza anywhere near what pizza is back east. For several years they were my go-to pizza shop on those frequent nights I craved a pie.

The ingredients are always quality, the crust tastes as if it were made from fresh dough, the toppings applied generously, and the cheese and sauce cover the pizza in near perfect amounts. More important than any of that for me, is that the crust is thin but still nice and chewy. As if that weren't enough, they often get toppings from premier local restaurants like Salumi's.

In one respect Pagliacci has been as untouchable as the cannot be touched MC Hammer and that's service. In every instance I can recall the folks at Pagliacci have been unfailingly friendly from cashiers to phone operators to delivery people. Whatever they do to select their employees ... it works.

The biggest drawback I can think of is the price. Jeezum-crow a Stephen King character might say upon hearing the price of their pie. Sure it's good stuff but, though I may be biased by the low price of pizza out east, there are lots of places in Seattle now that make a better pie for a lot less. So while I'll always be fond of the Pag for being my first pizza love in Seattle, my oasis as it were ... that oasis would need to come with a Genie's lamp and 3 wishes to help cover the cost.

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Photo of C C.

 

2

32

C C.

Seattle, WA

3 star rating
11/5/2009

Usually its really good pizza.  Not the best I have ever had ....that would be (Pizzeria Bianco  in Phoenix,AZ ).... but the spicy pepperoni is awesome, and so are most of their specials.  The upcoming pear spacial seems yummy.

they do under cook sometimes, so ask for your pizza well done  (the crust is much better that way)

....if they do mess something up though they offer to bring a new pizza or give you a coupon for a free pizza. Very nice people too.

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Photo of Liz H.

 

3

25

Liz H.

Seattle, WA

4 star rating
11/24/2009

They really have the best crust ever (in Seattle, yeah, yeah).  I am a fresh veggie pizza loyalist.  NUM!

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Photo of Haley M.

 

1

4

Haley M.

Tacoma, WA

4 star rating
11/4/2009

Great pizza. Consistently good. The only downside is they don't have a huge selection to those from if you're ordering by the slice (usually 3 or so when I go there in the late afternoon). But oh well, I am a really boring/traditional pizza eater, so it's no big d. Occasionally the wait staff sort of hurry you along and aren't usually talkative/very warm. But again... the pizza is fab, go here for a classic slice of pizza in a clean, open setting.

I nearly forgot one of my favorite reasons to go: their crushed ice in the drinks! SOOOOO AWESOME.

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Photo of Katy H.

Elite '09

344

323

Katy H.

Seattle, WA

4 star rating
9/21/2009

Starving and you need to eat NOW? This Pagliacci is a good spot to head if you're in need of an immediate pizza fix. I have to admit though - the main reason I've been here is because I'm a huge Seinfeld fan and loved that they named this place Pagliacci. (More than likely it's not in reference to Seinfeld but nonetheless not totally unrelated..)

Anyway - the pizza is good, the service is super quick, the prices are decent, AND they have Cherry Coke in their soda dispenser. Sweet deal! You don't always see that.

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Photo of Thomas L.

Elite '09

23

105

Thomas L.

Seattle, WA

4 star rating
9/26/2009

Why do I keep ordering from them even though they are $30/pie (tax, delivery, tip)?

Because they are the best option on the hill so far? no.
Because they make good pie? likely.

Hey, can't beat a system that when you call, they'll ask you what you want or give you suggestions, can tell you what's on the seasonal pie, and pull up your last order if you can't make a decision.

I usually get their brooklyn bridge and sometimes some of the seasonal.  It's a solid pick if you are in need/want of a pizza fix on the hill.

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Photo of Jarrod H.

 

1

12

Jarrod H.

Seattle, WA

2 star rating
11/9/2009

When it comes to pizza, people seem to turn their critical thinking capacities off.  Pizza is such a simple food, a pizza joint really has to go the extra mile for me to want to pay for it.  Dough, tomato sauce, cheese, and meat - it's just that easy.  If you want more than a "meh, it's pizza" from me you really need to put the effort into it. Pagliacci's is frankly nothing special.  Pagliacci's does pizza, and pizza tastes good, but that does not mean Pagliacci's is good.

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Photo of Jeremy M.

Elite '09

32

186

Jeremy M.

Seattle, WA

3 star rating
8/27/2009

The parking here absolutely sucks, but that kind of come natural for a business right on broadway. I had to circle the block couple time before finding a parking spot two blocks away. Their marinera sauce for the breadstick lacked of flavor, the service there was for the most part self servce which made me feel kind of ripped off since I tipped upon ordering our food then noticed we had to get our own waters, utensil, condiments, and clean up after ourselves(I thought should have been optional but everyone else did). The pizza was not bad but at the same time it was not great for the price at $25 for a large pizza, the salad was good(almost can't go wrong with tossing some lettuce!), and the gelato ice cream was good.

Final thoughts: Not worth paying 90 bucks for 2 adults and 4 kids if you ask me

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Photo of Uhura J.

Elite '09

87

81

Uhura J.

King, WA

5 star rating
5/17/2009

Stumbling home after a very long day and night in Seattle, I was desperately hungry. Only problem was that it was super late, and my choices were limited. Place after place were long closed for the evening and I was about to hit QFC for some random snack when I noticed Pagliacci's was still open for about 15 minutes. Score!

The guy in front of me snagged the last pepperoni slice so my options were the last slice mushroom or the last slice of cheese. I went with the cheese, figuring it would be the least terrible since I didn't know how long they'd been sitting out, and boy was I wrong! It was hands down the best slice of cheese pizza I've ever had! Fresh, yummy, lightly seasoned mix of cheese, perfect crust, not over-sauced, and a notable lack of grease.

Thanks Pagliacci's!

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Photo of Raj G.

 

0

15

Raj G.

Seattle, WA

5 star rating
8/23/2009

Had a margherita pizza delivered the day I moved here. Um, wow? What else can I say about the best delivered pizza I've ever had (not best pizza, best delivered)? Service was quick, and the delivery guy was really friendly. It was pretty pricey though; 13" for $20. How does that saying go? Oh, right, "you get what you pay for, so don't be a cheapass." I might have adlibbed the last bit.

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Photo of Katie S.

Elite '09

21

63

Katie S.

Seattle, WA

3 star rating
6/11/2009

I found the pizza to be so so. The service is quick, the product consistent. But the pizza never really tastes like magic to me. So ill stop in every once in a while, but I have never been wowed by them.

You defiantly want the pizza that's RIGHT out of the oven if. If its been sitting out its much less tasty. Its interesting to come in and see the different combos though. And you can never go wrong with a slice of the pepperoni pizza. Yum grease and cheese.

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Photo of David M.

 

0

18

David M.

Seattle, WA

2 star rating
7/1/2009

What happened to this place? I used to like their pizza but stopped buying it because every time I placed a delivery order, the pizza arrived all roughed up and they repeatedly got the order wrong.
So, I tried it again last week. I had the regular pizza with mushrooms. It had a very strange taste, the tomato sauce had no tomato flavor. The crust was pretty good but overall, not worth what I paid for. Also, it is too expensive. Are there any good , basic pizza places in Seattle that are not overpriced ? They are just basic ingredients.

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Photo of Steve o.

Elite '09

75

256

Steve o.

Seattle, WA

4 star rating
2/20/2009

When I lived on the hill..I was here at least twice a week for lunch/dinner. Seeing their 30 yr celebration, brought back good memories of stuffing myself back in my 20's, shit I can still eat a medium by myself.

So we took in there great deal of 90 cent slices the other day. The pizza is still solid..the cheese was excellent..the pepperoni hit the spot, and the pesto salad was the clincher for a great lunch.

Its nice to see this location giving back, and offering a great deal on the pizza. They have added ice cream..when did this happen..pizza and choc mint ice cream..dont tease a fat boy like me..thank you food gods.

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Photo of Thomas J.

Elite '09

13

184

Thomas J.

Seattle, WA

4 star rating
3/5/2009

Happy 30th, Pagliacci.

The Pagliaccio salad is still awesome; for some reason, eating slices in the shop seems better than delivery.  I was in the store for that really small earthquake back in the mid-90s, but it was my first earthquake, so I'll always remember it.  Everyone stopped talking, the lights began to sway, and some dude from California blurts out 'earthquake.'

Right.  The pizza.  The veggie is great, the Brooklyn is great, the crust is the weakest link in the whole deal.  With all of the advances in crust technology you'd think they would have figured it out by now.  Ah, who am I kidding.  If I need pizza delivered, this is the place that I call.

Slightly expensive, but satisfying.

Oh, and I read in another review that the leftovers weren't good - try this the next time.  Put some olive oil in a saucepan, on medium heat.  Put the cold slices of pizza in the pan, cover, heat until warm.  'Frying' the pizza in this way makes the crust crispy and resurrects the pizza the following day.

Delicious.

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Photo of the S.

 

0

12

the S.

Seattle, WA

5 star rating
6/15/2009

Seattle-style done consistant with great chef's specials. Love their delivery, fabulous customer service, love their gourmet toppings, love that they are the hometown champ [well earned]. Great combos, great fresh rich-tasting toppings. Love the centioli and the gelato as sides for delivery. Big fan of the veggie combos and anything of theirs with garlic. Their large is really a large. And yes, it's hells of expensive. You should certainly know that going in; this ain't no crapass gets-their-toppings-all-from-corporate-commisary-c ans Dominos... this is high-labor high-end pizza.

As a former NY'er:  Those comparing seattle-style pie to NYC pizza need to get their heads on straight:  that's like comparing a true NYC deli sandwich to a Subway™ sandwich,  or a cup of Vivace to a cup of Dunkin:  they are hardly the same species, and should be reviewed quite separately.

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Photo of chris h.

 

0

11

chris h.

Temecula, CA

4 star rating
11/21/2009

really good pizza by the slice, big slices and usually always fresh

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Photo of Brian B.

 

7

47

Brian B.

State College, PA

4 star rating
3/11/2009

Got some of this the first day I came into Seattle and I can't really complain. Picked up one of the meat pies, and overall was pretty impressed. Just about all of it was eaten with few leftovers. Only gripe is that the price was a tad high for a medium specialty pie ($18)

Wouldn't mind going back again.

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Photo of Maddy T.

 

2

7

Maddy T.

Seattle, WA

4 star rating
6/17/2009 2 photos

I can say that I've been going to this specific Pagliacci restaurant off and on for almost 20 years.  Crazy!  I saw it go through improvements and remodels, staff changes and neighboring business changes.  (see pictures)

I started grabbing a slice here when I was just starting college at Seattle University down the street in 1990.  Now I swing through whenever I'm in need of my favorite comfort food and a does of nostalgia....a quiet afternoon reading the Stranger, Seattle Weekly, and people watching while eating my favorites...a Pagliaccio salad (light on the onions) and a slice of the agog or spicy chicken if they have it.

Yum.  Please don't ever leave me!  ;-)

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Photo of helen t.

 

17

18

helen t.

Seattle, WA

4 star rating
1/8/2009

I'm generally not a pizza person, but I was here for the free comedy night. I gotta say, Pagliacci was very nice to offer up their location to foster local comedy acts. I thoroughly enjoyed that experience, kudos to all the comedians that performed.

Did not have pizza (since I'm not that kinda gal), so I ordered the calzone instead, with italian sausage. It was delicious, not to mention very reasonably priced.

I'd definitely recommend the comedy night, apparently it happens once a month, and I definitely recommend the calzone.

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Photo of Zachary Sam Z.

Elite '09

76

229

Zachary Sam Z.

Seattle, WA

4 star rating
1/5/2009

I came here for the first time because the Event page mentioned the free comedy. And two blocks from my place! I was sold.

This is a cute pizza joint with some interesting pies (along with some standards). I got a slice of cheese and a slice of the... was it the PAG Primo?... it had goat cheese, proscuitto, artichoke, and tomatoes. Both were very good. Since it was my first time here, I wasn't super clear on how things were supposed to flow. I went up to the cash register at first, and was totally confused when I didn't see a menu. I figured it out eventually, and kudos to the folks at the counter who were super patient with me while I was having a brain-dead moment. Or five.

I always have a soft spot for places that support local talent. It was a great excuse to try a new restaurant, and now... new favorite pizza place! And so close by! I will be back often.

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Photo of Nicola L.

 

9

42

Nicola L.

Seattle, WA

5 star rating
7/3/2009

We love Pagliacci!  We went last week on a Sunday afternoon, after going to the pride parade in downtown. We decided to avoid the junk food at the Seattle Center and to have lunch in Capitol Hill. Simple and good the pesto pasta salad. Great as always their pepperoni pizza. We tried the pizza with gorgonzola and fresh tomatoes that was also very good.  It was a good choice to have lunch on Capitol Hill in a day that used to be the busiest day on Broadway.

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Photo of Stacy E.

Elite '09

13

83

Stacy E.

Seattle, WA

5 star rating
12/20/2008

Pagliacci just delivered to us.  In heavy snow.  

It was quick, efficient and delicious.  

Just like they always are.

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Photo of Michelle B.

Elite '09

1372

1134

Michelle B.

Seattle, WA

3 star rating
Updated - 10/30/2008

The holidays have inspired Pagliacci to make an above average pizza! The Pear Primo Pizza is simply delicious. Huge slices of pear contrast nicely with the Gorgonzola cheese and make me a believer in fruit on pizza.

It's a Christmas Miracle!

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1 Previous Review: Show all »

  • 3 star rating
    6/14/2007

    I'm not inspired to write this review.

    Nor is Pagliacci's inspired to make above average pizza.… Read more »

Photo of Alison L.

 

0

4

Alison L.

Seattle, WA

5 star rating
8/21/2009

Pagliacci is GREAT!  You can order by the slice at $2-3 each, and there are four flavors to choose from everytime.  You can never go wrong w/ the cheese or pepperoni.  Even the crust is delicious!  If you are at all curious about the rotating pizza selections, you should try it...it'll probably taste good.  Don't forget your stamp card!

Their salads are really yummy too.  I've had the ceasar and the pesto pasta, both are tasty.  I get the most excited when they have the chicken gorgonzola pasta salad with grapes in it.

The place looks clean and the staff is nice too.  Definitely one of my favorite places to eat on Broadway.

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Photo of Jessica L.

 

14

7

Jessica L.

Seattle, WA

4 star rating
11/2/2008

I am writing this as I stuff my face with my third slice of Spinach & Chicken. This is GOOD DELIVERY pizza. Light on the sauce, real cheese, loaded with fresh spinach and chicken.

And everyone complains that it's expensive but come on, a large supreme at Pizza Hut is $18.99 and it's only 14 inches! The most expensive Pagliacci's pizza is $23.99 for a 17 inch. While I don't mind a Pizza Hut slice after a night of drinking, I would never order it sober.  Also, they have a second 11" for $5.99 deal. So I got 2 pies for around $20.

Oh and great customer service. Really friendly. I really need to try Veraci, but for delivery, I think I'll stick with Pagliacci.

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Photo of Jessica H.

Elite '09

162

314

Jessica H.

Seattle, WA

4 star rating
11/14/2008

The delivery line is always a good choice as their delivery guys are friendly, on time and willing to go the extra mile. We ordered pizza there the other night and although it was super expensive, as all Pagliacci pizzas tend to be, we felt like it was worth it for the quality ingredients (we had Salumi sausage on one) and our hilarious and charming delivery guy.

We are housesitting on Lk. Union and our house boat dock is not easy to find. The guy called me from a dock adjacent to ours and was super patient whilst I dashed out in my bare feet and pitter patted down to retrieve our pizzas.

He even handed me two mini candy canes, saying that the candy cane crop was sparse this year and so the first shipment boasted only smallish sized specimens. He got a good laugh out of me and a compliment on his awesome emo mohawk.

Yes, Pagliacci's employs people with character, ladies and gentlemen and that's nothing to be sniffed at.

Oh and p.s., the election is over, our guy won it. You need to get new boxes, Pags.

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Photo of dash E.

 

2

9

dash E.

Seattle, WA

3 star rating
4/14/2009

I wish they would go back to making the white pizza... they never.. ever have it.. it's been about 3 years since i've had a white slice from them.  That's personally my favorite of theirs.   Oh well.  

Furthermore, the pizza itself isn't bad, however, the size of the slice is rather insignificant compared to the price of a slice... and the respective amount it actually costs to make a pizza.. i'm not impressed.  I always get stuck with the little retarded slice... kinda like that little retarted leg on the end of a chicken wing.  boo to that.   Those slices should be discarded or "half price" to say the least.

They need to make LARGER pies for the "take out/sit in" slices.  The larger the pie, the less of a difference between the "smallest & largest" slices.  

Another thing I can't stand is the "DOUBLE PEPPERONI"  WTF happened to the regular pepperoni?  Putting one extra slice of pep on an already tiny slice constitutes DOUBLE the meat?-I think not.  

Their breadsticks are absolutely terrible.  I think about 2 - 1/2 years ago they decided to switch up the recipe for them, and unfortunately it was for the worst.  They use to be thick and crunchy and now they are doughy and practically tasteless.  The same stand for the marinara sauce....it's gone downhill.  

Let's just be thankful their pies are always fully cooked ;)

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Photo of Robert S.

 

43

328

Robert S.

Seattle, WA

4 star rating
1/6/2009

Pizza by the slice and a salad .......

so that about sums it up here, I love that I can go and get a couple slices of pizza ,and a fresh salad, I like there pasta and pesto salad the most

and they are always changing up pizza they have by the slice so its not the same old boring sausage and pepperoni that most places have

I have always gone in for pizza so don't know about there delivery, but I see people all the time walking out with a whole pie

and they have lemon-aid need I say more

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Photo of Doug M.

 

1

67

Doug M.

Portland, OR

4 star rating
1/1/2009

When I'm in another town and want pizza delivered to my hotel room, I have to go through some processes, beginning with the Yellow Pages and then (if I have web access) Yelp and other web info.  Both the Yellow Pages and their website pointed me to their votes on Seattle Weekly's annual reader poll.  

They've been so consistently voted the "Best Pizza" in Seattle by Seattle Weekly that the category last year was "Best PIzza (Besides Pagliacci)".  

What we needed was a good delivery pizza while Seattle streets were still clogged with snow.  The guy that took our phone order paid attention and clarified that he had our order right.   The delivery came to our hotel room sooner than promised.   The best part of the pizza was the cheese - a rich mixture of mozzarella and some sharper type.  In a delivery box, the crust was a little steamed but what do you expect?  If it were a crisp, cornmeal crust, they'd get the fifth star.  

It's a great choice for delivery.  Look no further.

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Photo of Natalie W.

Elite '09

175

427

Natalie W.

Seattle, WA

3 star rating
9/17/2008

This location rocks (ie BETTER than the others)! I didn't want to head home from the Hill and wanted to stop off- grab a bite- and read a little- when I spied this Pagliacci.

The whole experience from ordering- to paying- to chillin' out was warm and nice. I got lots of smiles and a great slice of AGOG pizza. The AGOG slice (oil base- cheeses-olives-mushrooms-cloves of garlic) was good- the crust was my favorite part. The slice was a little old but that is what you get when you buy by the slice.

Side note- My chair did seem like it was going to break at any moment just like the chairs back in high school that snapped when you tipped back in them. Interesting...

Best pizza= No
Good place to grab a slice and do some reading (while people watching OF COURSE!)= Yes

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Photo of Denice R.

Elite '09

44

219

Denice R.

Seattle, WA

4 star rating
4/4/2009

A yummy pizza whether delivered or eaten in. I don't go for the creative pies, I like to keep it simple with the Margherita and they do it well with fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, fresh basil, sea salt, and olive oil. Every now and then I'll add some black olives. My delivery service has always been prompt and the delivery people have always been friendly (even the ones who are afraid of my little doggie). Oh wait ... they also have some really tasty seasonal sorbets, etc. so be sure you hear about those.

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Photo of Jessi B.

Elite '09

68

110

Jessi B.

Capitol Hill, Seattle, WA

4 star rating
5/9/2008

Wait...

Wait a minute...

Someone in *Seattle* made a pizza that my DYG actually *mildly enjoyed*???

I thought my feet were colder than usual this morning. Hell must've frozen over.

[boring details]
We ordered a margherita. They said they'd be to Chez DYG in 45 minutes. They were there in less than 30 and no trouble figuring out how to buzz the apartment. (You see, it's really complicated to some pizza mongers how you have to push the button for a second and then listen for a buzzing noise.) I also love that Pagliacci sells those little glass grenades of Martinelli's apple juice.
[/boring details]

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Photo of james s.

Elite '09

32

69

james s.

Seattle, WA

5 star rating
3/28/2009

I love pagliacci pizza - there was a guy down there that said "$3+ per slice" blah blah.  I get slices all the time - pepporoni slices for $2.50.  So there:)  Anyway, always fresh, very fast pizza.  The whole pies that end up on your door are much different it seems, but always good as well.  Haven't tried the other food options there - usually stick with the pizza.

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Photo of cathy g.

 

382

1008

cathy g.

Seattle, WA

4 star rating
12/4/2008

It's big. It's pizza. It's busy.
I like their food.

It's Broadway.

I  really appreciate what they do in terms of  conmmunity development.

This one is a bit too busy for me, but the service  s fine. Imagine how much work and how many people that work there and how many people who go through their lines..

YIKES

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Photo of Chris T.

 

1

30

Chris T.

Seattle, WA

5 star rating
6/20/2009

My god this place is GOOD! Definitely worth the price! Way better than hot mama's.

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Photo of Emily B.

 

7

60

Emily B.

Seattle, WA

5 star rating
3/13/2009

Best pizza in Seattle, hands down.  Romio's is a close second.  The only complaint I have is the price, but it's well worth it every time!

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Photo of tony g.

Elite '09

274

407

tony g.

Seattle, WA

3 star rating
3/11/2008

I have no problem eating 3 star pizza.

Zipzap Zubidy Bop!

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Photo of Starr J.

Elite '09

13

67

Starr J.

Seattle, WA

3 star rating
3/5/2009

pizza is a strange thing, especially in Seattle.  people always compare every single pizza place to New York pizza and how it's not "authentic" unless it resembles a NYC pizza.  well okay, that's fine, but there are different pizzas out there and different taste preferences.  

I lived in Boston for several years, I grew up in the Midwest and have spent time in Chicago.  the main thing about bigger, older cities is that they have more mom & pop independent we've-been-making-it-this-way-for-years pizza places and those tend to be better.  so if that's "authentic", then yeah, I can agree with that.

but let's not discount Seattle's own authentic pizza style.  to me, that pizza is Pagliacci.  it's good, I like it, they've got the business side of it down.  I love how they already have my credit card number on file as well as my pizza-topping history.  makes things easier.

my one complaint is that they seem to undercook the crust which can therefore be sorta gummy.  but then, I told them that one time so now they have in my file that I like my crust cooked a little more!  okay, one other complaint is that Pagliacci pizza is not so good the next day.  again, the crust.

but as pizza goes, I think it's just fine.

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Photo of Shera M.

 

7

17

Shera M.

Seattle, WA

5 star rating
4/5/2008

Dear Pagliacci Pizza,

I love you.  I love you and your quirky, indie but still polite and not at all indifferent staff.  I love your Pagliaccio salad and that no one balks at the fact that I prefer it with no meat and half the dressing but order my slices with extra pizza sauce on the side.  

I love you so much that my lactose intolerant self takes anywhere between 4 to 5 Lactaids to consume your almighty goodness and fight the entirely embarrassing and very painful rumbly-tumblies that ensue after I consume cheese.  My gluttonous, sadistic taste buds take the reigns when I'm ordering and add a pint of savory but all too damning coconut (and/or chocolate) gelatto so conveniently offered on your regular menu.

Pagliaccis, you and me have got a groovy kind of love.  But it is a love that can only be pursued within the sanctity of my own home due to the bevy of consequences associated with me consuming you.  To sum it up, all I can do is close with these very apropos words,

"Come on baby, make it hurt so good.  Sometimes love don't feel like it should; you make it...hurt so good"?

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