Larry Flynt's Hustler Club
Categories: Lounges, Adult Entertainment [Edit]
Neighborhoods: Financial District, North Beach/Telegraph Hill1031 Kearny St
(between Nottingham Pl & Pacific Ave)
San Francisco, CA 94133 (415) 434-1301
Text "Hustler" to 35350 for your VIP pass & free…
Announced 4 days ago
- Hours:
Mon-Wed 11:30 a.m.-2:00 a.m.
Thu 11:30 a.m.-4:00 a.m.
Fri-Sat 11:30 a.m.-5:00 a.m.
Sun 11:30 a.m.-2:00 a.m. - Price Range: $$$
- Accepts Credit Cards: Yes
- Parking: Street
- Good for Groups: Yes
- Wheelchair Accessible: No
- Outdoor Seating: No
- Music: DJ
- Best Nights: Tue, Fri, Sat
- Happy Hour: Yes
- Alcohol: Full Bar
- Smoking: No
- Coat Check: Yes
66 Reviews for Larry Flynt's Hustler Club
One of Larry Flynt's Hustler Club's Favorite Reviews
Larry Flynt is a good man.
Actually, a great man.
Wait, I take it back, he's one of the most historical and astounding men of the 20th centu...no, make that American history.
I'll spare everyone the history lesson (you can either watch Woody Harrelson's movie or read his wiki entry), but how do you not respect a man who helped bring bewbies to mainstream America? Sure Hustler may not have the same sort of name recognition as Playboy or maybe even Penthouse does, but it's been as influential to the bewbie scene as anything else.
And if that's not enough, he's helped bring to San Francisco an equally historic location, located right off of Broadway.
Now among Yelpers the Gold Club is famously known for its 5 dolla Friday lunch time food and bewbie buffet, but not far up here in North Beach is a similar deal--except it's offered on both Thursdays and Fridays.
The food is near identical (fried chicken, pork ribs, mashed potatoes), but they also offer lasagna here as well, and they have serve up a mean eclaire.
The only way to go wrong here is to not go here..
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I am not so sure - but they had only three dancers the whole night. I did went to this club with two of my best friends to get a sexy lap dance. The music is pretty funky and the place is nice. I did love the girls and the lap dance...........
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This is my first ever ever,in my 38 years of existence, time in a strip club and I must say I am impressed. Kudos to Elaine for choosing this joint, other friends recommended Gold and Mitchell Brothers. First the service, From the doorman to the cashier to everyone, everyone is polite, they always smile and mind you their smiles are sincere (or if they are faking it theyre good).
Although its pretty dark, I must say that its not filthy, it doesnt have any scent whatsoever. I am expecting the worse since its my first time and just the notion of the joint but to my surprise, its actually just a place to hang out.
For first timers like me, I was constantly looking around, for everyone, for things. The guys who are at front I guess are the ones who really come there for the show and of course the girls.
The friends I came with are all game, telling me to go down there and put some bills on the counter or something like that.
I got a lapdance thanks to Carlos and Fonzy, Riso was being chicken.
The girls are nice and sweet, the one who gave Fonzy a lapdance even put a dollar on my blouse.
The whole experience was pleasant, I may not do it again but at least.
Sunday afternoons at the Hustler are kinda fun.
There aren't as many girls, we saw the full rotation (maybe 3 girls) in about an hour...but they were really beautiful, curvy, smiling, H.O.T. and enjoyed being appreciated.
The DJ was entertaining and played fun selections. Rebecca rocked my world in her naughty Catholic schoolgirl outfit.
xoxo!
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Two words: Champagne Room.
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The night girls are better looking than the gold club. There are actually real titties here. Yeah like the kind you can imagine yourself humping. Unlike some other clubs where it's plastic city.
$2 Tuesdays are the day to go. Free before 7pm, $2 drinks and titties make for a magical evening.
They have an incredibly cheap afternoon buffet here (Buffalo Wings) if your into that sort of thing....every once in a while its worth it to take a trip over with the laptop and get some work done while enjoying the lunch and skin extravaganza. More entertaining than your average porn movie...and it smells like vanilla in there.:)
I've referred many a burlesque dancer looking for more here for work and never gotten a complaint.
If your in there on a late night do me a favor and make it rain on my girl "Cassandra"
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Another shout-out to the Legs & Eggs breakfast. The dress code is a good thing. There plenty of shitty strip clubs on Broadway. If you absolutely need to wear a baseball hat indoors, then go to the Hungry I.
The women here were gorgeous, and the lap dances expensive. If you only go to strip clubs to celebrate your buddy getting married or divorced, you won't mind spending the money.
This is is a good club for a "mixed crowd" meaning guys and girls...it is clean, not too raunchy and the drinks aren't too overpriced. Unfortunately, ladies, they do charge us to get in...Can you BELIEVE that???!!!!
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Good crowd and again, it was 'raining'...lol.
As my boys from Vegas would tell me...yes....it was all about the rain
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Only abouyt 20% of the tittays we saw here were knockoffs. The rest were REAL nice. Most of the girls had amazing acrobatic pole skillz, except this one chick who just bugged because of her poor taste in music. Each performer gets two songs---the first one is for basic titillation with undulating moves.... the second one is the same as the first one, except their tittays are exposed. You'll know when they have to take it off too, because the DJ will say.... "here's the second song for [name] and she'll do this TOPLESS." $15 cover. Really good buffalo wings.
( | )
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I remember when this place was the Palladium dance club. I'm glad those days are over.
Hustler is nicely designed & decorated and has some of the best bar staff you'll ever meet in ANY kind of bar.
I have always been given the best service here from the door staff to the bar staff to the dancers.
Another bonus: they offer a Legs & Eggs breakfast after 2am, which is when I get off of work.
Downside is their strict dresscode: no hats. Which is what I wear to work. :(
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you suck a big one hustler. 0 stars.
sis' b-day nite, we go out for a fab time. Dj's cool and chats all night about the b-day girl. some girls were totally hot, some got beat by the silicone stick but were still pretty and only one or two were "eh."
bad stuff: my sis' fiance got kicked out of the bathroom by one of the ugly-white-girl-silicone-stricken dancers. Not only did she scream for security and call my soon-to-be sis a "fucking bitch" but all 10 of us got kicked out for it. uh excuse me ugly dancer, her boobs are bigger and realer than yours. how did you now know? so the "manager" Ernesto refused to give an apology or his business card--way to go guy. The cops came and it's confirmed, we can totally file a suit. So we're in the motions for a big fat discrimination case.
Don't go to hustler. they don't like women.
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I went there twice and I did not think the girls were beautiful at all. No wonder the admission is free but once inside you buy a beer or a bottle of water. The environment is boring, the stage is small and the action is dull. I only liked one girl who dance there, but after I got married, I stopped going there. Now I spend my money at my house with my wife, but this place is not interesting at all. The worst part is that a private lap dance is sixty dollars. A lap dance for twenty dollars is bad because they give it to you right in fronto of everbody and you can't touch at all. Avoid it and spend your money on a bottle of Don Julio tequila and rent a Dvd movie.
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Excellent girls, great service, I don't think it gets better than this place. They are making a regular out of me.
Care To Share Larry Flynt's Hustler Club With Friends?
5 star rating
1031 Kearny St
San Francisco, CA 94133
(415) 434-1301
"If you're ever visiting SF come check out the Hustler Honeys! Hustler has an array of sexy girls. However the girls do appreciate being appreciated, so come on in and don't forget to tip the girls! Only stripclub open till 5am Fridays-Saturdays. So come in and relax , sober or party with your favorite hustler honey! I recommend Jordan (she's amazing on stage) and who's that tall blonde asian........ ;)
+on music, they "don't " just play techno trance!"
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Larry Flynt's Hustler Club... $5 all you can eat lunch buffet (11am - 2pm) on Thursday and Fridays. Nuff said! What about the girls you ask? I don't know and don't really care. $5 ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET! Ribs, fried chicken, salad, pasta, mashed potatoes!!!
Yes, this is the second Gentleman's Club I have reviewed, probably won't be the last.
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Of all the girls on the Strip, I love the girls on the weekend here Arcadia is a special favorite... LOVE the hot wings, sliders and french fries, but dont let a bitch eat your shit, those shysty ladies with the little silver boxes will eat and eat and eat, and god damnit they arent there to eat!! They are there to take you to the champagne room and take off their clothes!!
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We went here for our anniversary. One girl came and asked if we wanted a lap dance and that was it. The girls (Other than Indiana and Lo when it was about time to close) never even tried to work the crowd for their money. Happy we got in here for free otherwise it would have been a total bust.
Hot girls, which is nice, but here is why I won't go in to another strip club again(unless accompanied by a female)
1. no full nudity with alcohol sales. fuck. that. shit. I want my jack and vag, dammit.
2. Overly expensive...like holy shit woman, am i paying for your college tuition or the college itself....
3. Blond barbie dolls....not.hot. stop with the plastic surgery and bulimia. it's not hot.
so yeah, screw the titty bars in this city
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I recently have been checking out the strip club scene in SF and I came across this club last week. The club has a $25 cover charge but text "hustler" and get in for $20. The club layout is pretty nice with a fair amount of small tables and lounge chairs close and offset from the stage. There is only one stage and the private dance areas are in back but what I didn't care for was that there are no private booths for dances. BUt then again this is a topless club only. Their VIP area is typical of the ridculous prices for a half and full hour ($300 for a half and $500-700 for a full)
The girls are pretty hot but remind you of a camp of cheerleaders who basically did not go on to college or decided the beauty school route.
The drink prices are pretty steep but every tuesday they have $2 beers and well drinks.
Standard lap dances are $20 for a dance in the main room at your table and $40 for a dance in the back area. $100 for 3 songs in the back but remember there are other people there as well. Didn't care for the lack of privacy here. The condor room has a nicer private booth area. Overall OK but nothing to write home about on this one. If you are into the Orange county cheerleader types then this is your spot.
I was a bit iffy about going into a strip club with my boyfriend, I heard about them, and want no part in the scandalousness.
I found out this was a panties on place, so what the hey?
Hot girls (if you like the plastic surgery Barbie doll type), got a seat by the main stage, spent a hooplah on a lady named Jordan, who by the way I deemed through all my boys as MY GIRL.
Stuffed cash in buttcracks and got boob raped. Of course i threw money on my shy boyfriend as well ( HA ).
LADIES, I RECOMMEND THIS PLACE. If you go to a strip club with your man, or homegirls, let it be this one. I saw no ugly femmebots in here. I apologize to the males that were there last night. I may have stole your boner bait. Place is classy, girls are cute and their tricks are worth the stay. Except theres no point in staying after last call for alcohol.
Minus one point for the coked out indian lady who kept stomping her heels like a mule. And also for some of the no butt having ladies, Larry Flynt, LET THE GIRLS EAT!
but plus one point for the COZY chairs!
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Office Christmas party at the Hilton inevitably bleeds over to the Hustler Club.
Some of my loves:
Alcohol.
Boobs.
Butts.
Cheap Perfume.
Finding out that my ex-girlfriend, who I brought to the Christmas party 'cause we're still cool like that, got fake boobs since we had broken up and they looked phenomenal!
Alcohol.
Russian Chicks.
Hustler Club had it all. There were very accommodating and I was very comfortable.
Gold Club seems dirty trying to be upscale. Hustler Club seems upscale trying to be dirty....not sure which is better.
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the girls are 50-50. some are thick and fine, the others look like crackheads. their limit is topless, they keep their underwear on.
i've had their steaks before, and they're pretty good, i came here a couple of times with friends for their $5 thursday/friday buffet...it consists of fried chicken, ribs, pasta, and salads...not bad for $5. and the girls don't bother you for lap dances while you're eating. $5 for bottled water, though.
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Friends come from NYC and want to see a "good time." I suggest renting 2 lanes at Jackson Arms and $100 bucks of ammo. They suggest strippers. Friend #1 gets me in an arm bar while friend #2 beats the resistance out of me... And so the saga begins...
The club was nice enough, but it was really dead @ 3pm (don't ask). 1 guy at the bar, 2 at a dark table in the far corner, and us three (a.k.a. REALLY dead). Girls instantly pounce on us and feign interest.
90 Minutes and $200 dollars later we escape with dignity intact. This is my first strip club in SF, and I am chuckling, remembering St. Catherine Street in Montreal...Club Supersex is maybe the best place on earth for a 19 year old. Drinks were cheap and legal. The dollar was double it's Canadian counterpart, and the dancers were fully nude...those were the days. Did I even mention the poutine? This place was nice enough, but couldn't get an erection out of me if it had a gun to my head.
Tip: "Two Dollar Tuesdays."
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eric the door guy and tommy the bartender are nothing but class!
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ok...i dont even know if im entitled to review this place since i stumbled in there completely drunk after having went to 2-3 bars prior to that. but hey, it was my first time at a strip club and left with pretty interesting and lasting impression.
my local friends took us here to kind of show us the night life in frisco, i had no reservations cuz hey, i'm from out of town, i'm having a great time, why the heck not.
the cover...omg, $15 per person. oh well, spent so much on drinks that night already, who cares. but i heard you can get free passes on their website. the place....well, it was dark and blurry (for me) lol. there was a good crowd, it was a saturday night and probably @ 1:30am already. had a couple of drinks, a shot and had to chugged down the beer cuz it was last call and they wanted all the drinks off the table. sat down somewhere near the main stage in nice comfy chairs. soooo comfy that.....i almost knocked out a few times! (lack of sleep from partying and sightseeing so much couple days prior).
i wasnt too impressed with the girls there at first, you know, typical blonde, big boob, big booty, lotsa make up wearing, dancing on the stage sticking their bootys in your face. thats probably why i was dozing too......wasn't too interesting enough to keep me awake lol. well then there was one girl, who my friends pulled over to give me lapdance. ummm.......i was a bit embarassed about it at first but then why not? and ya....she coulda been latin, asian, or even indian maybe, but either way she was pretty hot. so hot that i believe my friends bought like 3 more lapdances for me! lolol i think the girls in our group got more dances than the dudes! Sorry guys!
for my first time in a strip club, i was very satisfied with it. im just glad it wasnt one of those trashy, cheap perfume smelling, full of fuglies type of place.
oh! why only 3 stars? well.....cant remember the other 2! LOL will have to go when im not totally hammered.
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Great place! The most beautiful girls! Very nice!!!
What Happened? Where are all the fake boobies at? Not that I like fake, I prefer the real tiny ones too.
The girls here used to be HOT, well, the last time I was here was with some friends from out of town, they were. This past weekend, I got the chance to come here again and was not thoroughly impress. The girls were not friendly and demanded us to buy lap dances and drinks for them.
However, there was one who was sweet and pretty. She gave this place a chance. The drinks are expensive though. The cocktail waitress was slow in getting us drinks. It's no Gold Club nor Condors. I think Condors is the new up and coming place. They got hot young talents. If you come here, be sure to print the coupons, you saved money and you can use it to buy drinks. If you want a dance, bargain as Peter M puts it, be hard to get.
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I enlisted the help of my brother and his wife and we managed to surprise my husband with a trip to this strip club for his birthday. With the exception of my brother, none of us had ever been to a strip club before!
Apparently girls that take it ALL off dance in clubs that are called "dry" which means no alcohol. That won't work for us - we want some cocktails! In this club they do serve drinks and the girls go topless.
Obviously like anywhere you go some girls are prettier than others. it was pick and choose through the girls to find the sexiest one in there to give my husband a lapdance - we found her. Yep, she was hot!
I mean, none of the girls were homely or nasty - just some sexier than others. Depends on what you define sexy as.
Anyhow - we had so much fun here. The drinks were not over priced and they were strong. The atmosphere was fun and entertaining. Nothing like a pole in the middle of stage and girls in stilettos. There is a cover charge - it was 10 bucks per person but they let my husband "the birthday boy" in free! Extra star for that! My husband enjoyed his lapdance - but he enjoyed watching the one i ended up getting even better! I learned that night you are not supposed to touch the girls - OK, now i know!
It was a fun experience and someday perhaps we will go again - if we do, i hope Mercedes is dancing!
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I heard through a friend of mine that they had a free lunch buffet here on Thursdays and Fridays, before two. Five dollar cover to get in. Five dollars for buffet wasn't bad, we decided, especially since the food was reportedly fairly decent. If we showed up around noon, we could really fill stuff ourselves by two. But two hours is a long time to just sit around eating, and we wondered how we might entertain ourselves during this time. I suggested that perhaps we might get together a group of friends, and play a game of Dungeons & Dragons.
And so it was that five of us (three players, one nervous observer, and myself the Dungeon Master) got together and played D&D at the Hustler Club. The elderly gentleman working the door seemed very friendly, and didn't ask any questions about the stack of books and binders we were carrying.
Once there, we hit the buffet hard (we were there kind of late, so it was mostly picked over, but whatever), and the overpriced drinks just a little. Then we opened the books and started going.
We gamed for a good three hours. Intermittently, one of us -- usually me, because my friends are mean -- would run up to the stage, toss a dollar, and run back to our seat while the dancer wasn't looking. This was our method of ensuring they wouldn't get sick of us and our shenaniganery... It seemed to work a bit too well, however, as the dancers kept interrupting us (during some pretty mean battles, too) to ask us to dance with them. Which pretty much blows the "chicks don't like geeks" myth right out of the water.
Because of all the interruptions, we weren't able to get through the entire adventure before I had to leave for work. If you're wondering, the adventure was based on an episode of He-Man, in which Skeletor kidnaps an entire circus for his own personal amusement. While we were on our way out, one of bouncers commented: "Hope the best man won." We were polite and didn't laugh at it him until we were outside.
Had to give them a high rating for being such good sports about the whole thing. Minus one star, though, for the poor lighting and loud sound system, which are just not conducive to table top gaming.
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The best part about Hustler is being greeted at the door by your friend who works there, only to be lead into the VIP area where the dancers can't harass you for dances every other song. You have to invite them in. That's right, you get to pick out the girl of your choice and then invite her over to have her dance for you.
The chicken wings aren't too shabby either.
For a place that is in the business of entertaining, they totally miss the mark. I think one out of twenty dancers actually use the pole onstage in some shape or form, other than gyrating it. It's one thing if they incorporate the pole onstage into their routine and make it a fun show, but they don't. And on top of that most of the girls here are fuggly.
This place was so much cooler when it first opened. It was also a whole lot cooler when my friend cocktailed here.
Overall the crowd is young, broke and ghetto and I'm not just talking about the patrons.
You want to see a show with beautiful women who have class? Gold Club is your best bet.
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Im confused!
1. I made out with a stripper for free in back.
2. I've bought one lap dance (I WAS DEPRESSED) and I realized that I could give a better lap dance than her.
The business model for this strip club is ass - backwards! and trust me the ass here ....... not so good.
If you plan to waste your hard earned money on strippers. A. buy a hooker... OR...... B. Go to Vancouver B.C.
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Not as dirty as I thought it was going to be. Not terribly impressed with the ladies. $15 cover. $20 for a public lap dance, $80 for two songs in the private room or $100 for three songs in the private room.
Beaver Bucks, what a scam. 15% charge on top of what you withdraw and each buck is spent at 90% face value.
Open until 5AM.
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A happy, happy wonderland. When life gets too intense or it's a Tuesday or I happen to be nearby or I need to hear Whitesnake and Shaggy songs back to back...I give myself the gift of the Hustler Club. It's a manageable environment and the girls make you feel like a king (or queen). There's a magic about the place. Maybe it's all of the vanilla-based perfume that fills the air. Stay long enough (highly recommended) and you'll see women of various sizes, shapes and races. It's good like that. Ladies - not to worry, it isn't a brothel like many of the other clubs in the city. It's one of the only strip joints in San Francisco that doesn't make you feel like you are going to catch the clap from a visit to the club's ATM machine. They will serve you a meal (nausea) but what the hell are you doing spending your money on food?
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Whoa....I havent been here for like 1/2 a year and did they upgrade themselves completely. We were strip-club hopping for my friend's bday and this is by far the best one of the night. I just have to say that the roster of the girls are completely new. Seems like they did a fantasy draft and picked all the right players from around the bay. Some are from Humbolt (where?) and a few were from SoCal. The girls are a lot friendlier than expected and damn...are they hot. All I can say is....the twins.....are cute.
Not only was it my good friend's bday...we also brought 3 of our girlfriends there (it was their first time in a strip club). The strippers there were friendly to them...and they even got themselves a dance. What can you say....opens to 4am and serves alcohol till 2am. Birthday boy had his fun there with the ladies and we all had a great time. Didn't get a lappy this time around.....apparently all the ladies there have their "NO TOUCH" radar on since my girlfriend was there with me (yes....she was cool with it). Basically, the girls there know who the suckers are and will hover around those guys like vultures.....waiting for their prey. Note to self....check it out on Thursday night!
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If you know the Dude by now, you'd know what he likes best:
Boobies. Beer. Buffet. More boobies.
Three "thumbs" up, my friends.
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Since a lot of people have at least one review of a strip club, might as well add my own.
My experience with the Hustler Club is a little unique. I was good friends (just friends!) with one of the dancers before she joined. She had a normal job, friends, life, all of that, but also went through a really rough breakup and wanted to make extra money so she could travel. Moonlighting as a topless dancer, it is!
The first time I went there, she wanted to sit with me and tell her what outfits work, what doesn't, stage presence, all that. In other words, I was her adviser as to what outfits she'd wear. She had thoughts of appealing to a certain kind of clientele (classy, non-smarmy) an thought that I would be somewhat representative. Also, I was one of the three people who knew she was doing this and didn't have a lot of options.
Anyway, she starts moonlighting there and time passes. I hear about the terminology and how it works backstage. For example, the lip around the center stage is called the tip bar. Dancers typically give 10-20% of their take to the floor manager and the DJ, since either of those two have the ability to make or break their night. Also, they usually have the bouncers walk them to their car afterwords. Many of the dancers themselves are an interesting lot. My friend was well educated, well read, all that. However, many of the girls there were supporting a deadbeat boyfriend/husband, some had kids, and a lot of them had become very, very jaded in regards to relationships with men. Seeing that fraction of a population that frequent strip clubs would probably do that to you.
Because she was a friend of mine, I never went there when she was dancing out of respect. Though, she finally had me come in on her last weekend working there. It was interesting sitting by myself on the side. The girls have different techniques for working the room. Some of them just walk past, put their hand on your shoulder, ask if you want a dance, and move on if you defer. Others will actually sit down and talk to you for a bit before asking. I never did get a dance, but I did tip the girls who sat around and chatted.
Overall, it's a fairly classy club. Because they serve alcohol, they don't do full nude. As with any other strip club, people watching is always the best, whether it be the girls, or the different patrons and their reactions.
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wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, i imagine it's more upscale than others in the area. the girls weren't bad, although truth be told, they didn't really do anything interesting, or worth talking about the next day.
but all in all, i see the effort, so it's much appreciated.
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Letter to Highlights Magazine Forum:
Dear Forum,
I never thought it would happen to me. I mean, I always thought the letters you printed weren't real. But I had to write to tell you about the most incredible experience of my life!
The ship docked in San Francisco for Fleet Week. I'd been on board for more than a month, and was lonely...if you know what I mean. I decided to drift around the town and check out my favorite city, maybe get some action at the local haunts
I was minding my own business, hangin' with my peeps on Lower Sesame Street. I know it's a rough area, full of Snuffleupplegusses and that punk-ass, Tickle Me Elmo. But I can take care of myself, and I hang with the Grouch, so nobody disrespects.
I was feeling a bit down, being recently divorced from Baby Bop, and feeling the pain. I'd only been single a couple of months and was keeping myself occupied with some playground swinging, playing jungle gym, finger painting and singing my favorite song...you may know it. I love you, you love me, oooh baby, baby...
Suddenly, I felt someone behind me. I turned to see who it was and saw a big pair of melons in my face...my favorite kind. Honeydew and Cantaloupe.
It was the local hottie, Maria. Our eyes locked as we both stared at each other with anticipation. She was a hoochie. Brown curly hair, chestnut brown eyes, and a body that wouldn't quit. She was all smokin' hott in those Jordache Jeans and lipstick red Hunter's Club polo shirt. She introduced herself, but I already knew all about her. Everyone on the Street knew the type of woman she was. She winked at me. "I have something you might like..." she said with a smile.
She put up her hands and started smacking me...hard. Patty cake took on a whole different meaning for me after playing it with Maria. She knew all the right moves, and clapped and slapped like a minx.
We said nothing else. We didn't need words. I could tell she meant business. She reached around and held out her hands to show me two big, purple balls of play-dough. I grabbed the balls and began kneading it harder and faster. Ooh, it was amazing. I played with it for what seemed an eternity. Usually, I tire after a few minutes from that kind of exertion, but I was going on forever with Maria's balls in my furry hands!
Soon, there were other furry hands and felted fingers touching my dough. Muppets from the hood were getting in on the action! It was craa-zy...even Kermit had a turn.
All the while, Maria just smiled and offered some of her honeydew. We sucked on the sweet nectar, drank out of her juice box and ate some graham crackers as we finished off the last of the meat of the fruit. The sticky juices trickled down my chin like a trail of naughtiness. Maria kept her eyes on me while I licked the last of the juices off my fingertips. "Takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'..." she said with a sly smile. My eyes rolled back in ecstasy and I cried out, "PUT ME IN THE NAUGHTY CORNER, BABY!"
After we were finished, she got up and left me there, still wet and soaked in sugar water. I'll never forget that day. And I'll always remember that hot little Latina mama and our afternoon delight...even though I know dinosaur/human relationships never last. Baby Bop can go screw herself.
Barney
(cc: Cricket's Magazine Forum)
***
FYI: The three-second version of this review...Bachlorette Party. Amusing idea. Parked car. Paid cover. Walked inside. Looked around. Ran out screaming.
One f%#ked up star.
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