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Jupiter Hotel
Rating Details »
Neighborhoods: Lower Burnside, Industrial District, Central Eastside
800 E Burnside St
Portland, OR 97214
(503) 230-9200
800 E Burnside St
Portland, OR 97214
(503) 230-9200
- Price Range:
-
$$
93 reviews for Jupiter Hotel
Whats the deal??? Am I the only lucky person that has spent a night here to get a decent room? Or is everyone just so anti Ikea that they can't imagine staying a night in a hotel room that looks like a roomy dorm room in the movies (because I've NEVER seen dorm rooms like those in real life)?
I was a little nervous when my boyfriend and I opened the door to our room because of everyone's reviews, but we were surprised. A lot of our friends have stayed here and enjoyed it so we figured it'd be all right. The room was cute, roomy enough and they leave you earplugs on the night stand. There's a flat screen tv (we could have brought our xbox and played left for dead 2... auuugh!), the bed is comfy enough, the heater works well, the back of the front door is a chalk board, and the room was clean. We had a room at the opposite end of the hotel, so we didn't hear much noise, except for the giant freaking elephant above us doing hurdles at 830 am. Staff was nice, we got a parking spot right outside our door, and the price isn't bad at all.
One of the only things I wasn't into? The shower is so goddamn confusing. I called my boyfriend in to help and we stood staring at it for a good few minutes. I finally called the front desk and she laughed and said she gets the question all the time.... basically you had to have the water running and then pull down on the mouth of the faucet..... WHAT?!?! Weirdest shower ever.
I'd recommend the Jupiter Hotel to anyone that understands it's not a posh hotel. t's Ikea furniture... who cares? At least their bedding is more cozy than those super gross stiff "comforters" at most chain hotels. And for noise complaints..... you're staying at a hotel attached to a bar. With a patio. With a venue. What do you expect?
It's definitely a refurbished motel, obviously, for the great downtown location. It has a great bar/music venue attached, so if you're there for the music on the weekend, then this is the place for you.
I stayed there mid-week with my family, and we really like it. The rooms were upscale considering the Travelodge type exterior. Plus there was a covered sitting area between the two wings where you could hang out and talk. The bar is nice and they have a good happy hour. I hear the music events are really fun, but loud, if you're not there for the band.
You can get rooms on http://hotels.com, but they're closer to the music. You can book directly for just a few dollars more and be located farther from the dance floor.
I took the train to Portland, and it was a very ideal location for sightseeing for a few days. Because I'm single, I would definitely stay here again. Families may not agree.
Maybe I just got lucky...but I really don't understand all the "haterade" (yeah, I just said that) for the Jupiter.
Pros:
- Location is excellent. It's close enough to downtown, hawthorne area, and VERY close to Portland's most overrated strip club...if you're into that sort of thing.
- It's CHEAP, *if* you book on Hotwire as I did. I got a room for about FIFTY SMOKES a night. That's a pretty insane deal.
Lulz:
- this place is trying so hard to be Portland WeIrD!1!1...and in some ways: succeeds.
- the room comes with a complementary branded condom, complete with a yes/no placard card. I found this incredibly entertaining, but keep in mind I am also endlessly amused by "that's what she said" jokes.
- my room had an entire wall covered with a picture of San Francisco...white ppl points +1
- The soap was a ring...cuz, ya'know you never use teh center anyway.
- As other people have said, this is a no-frills hotel gussied up with Swedish furniture...I didn't really mind that at all.
- As others have noted, the rooms *ARE* small..but really, you should only be in your room to sleep...the city is yours to explore...you lame ass!
The place is very no-frills, for sure...but I can think of 1001 worse ways to spend 50 bones.
I have stayed at this hotel twice and had a good time both times. This is not an upscale place and I would not bring a family here but it is a fun place to hangout with friends.
Ok straight to the point--DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY!! My husband and I love to patronize the little guy-- the independent business, but PLEASE!!! This little guy needs to start telling the truth!! We were soooo fooled by the Internet Site-- the person/company responsible for the website should win "the biggest scam bullshit prize" for portraying this sad little motel as a hipster joint worth staying at ---we came across it because we were seeing a band at the Doug Fir and their website lead us to the Jupiter site- come to find out later they aren't even related!!! So obvious, cuz the lounge is cool, the Motel sucks.
After two tries, I think it's game over.
Like a cheating boyfriend, I've had to let this one go.
Reasons?
Rooms that do not deliver. Falsely advertised on the website. The rooms are definitely not as contemporary chic as the hotel wants you to believe. The rooms are mostly furnished with cheap furniture! I wasn't expecting 5 star accoutrement for the price the hotel charges, but at least some nice carpeting for my wearied feet, please?
Oh yea, from what I remember, my nights in this hotel were filled with the loudspeakeresque voices of frat boys next door. WARNING: people celebrate their 21st bdays here.
Stayed here for 4 nights while visiting a friend who lives in Portland.
Good location and very affordable. Very friendly and helpful staff (Bri and Danny especially). I'd stay here again. It's fairly funky, not a standard chain hotel for sure. I found it funny that it's definitely just an old motel updated with some Ikea-type furniture and chalkboard paint on the doors, but it was clean and comfortable, albeit a bit small. My friends and I all thought the beds were SUPER comfortable.
Had a nice flat screen on the wall, but the picture kept cutting out and there were lines through it at times. Mentioned it on our comment card and hopefully that'll be fixed promptly.
Doug Fir bar and restaurant attached to the hotel were convenient and excellent. Great food, nice servers, enormous shots, nice fire outside. Love that Portland bars all serve food til closing time!
One big complaint--bike rentals are a cool perk, but they don't offer helmets! Was dissapointed to see this. Rented bikes anyway and had a nice ride down at the esplanade.
Overall, very few complaints. The place is pretty no-frills, but great for the price, with a fun atmosphere. We were on the "chill side" and didn't notice any noise, but also got back pretty late every night and immediately zonked out. However, one night around 2:30 am my friends and I were a little....loud...on our way back to the room and got yelled at by a neighbor. Totally our fault, but seems that people do take the quietness seriously. Consider your party habits when choosing a side.
Man, it's funny... we stayed here almost a year ago and I was showering this morning and remembering it and I got so pissed. I couldn't believe I never reviewed it, so here I am.
The person that described it as hell was pretty much spot on. This hotel tried to be like the Standard or any one of the knock-offs but it is a fail on so many levels.
We stayed here only because the Ace was booked. The price we paid was more than the online quoted price. The flaws of the joint were not immediately obvious upon check-in other than a sort of unclean feeling in the room. Stains on the sheets, a down comforter without duvet (ick), mysterious goo on the wall by the bed : (
We went out to dinner and returned to the hotel to find the Doug Fir in full swing. Our room was right outside the bar's patio but from what I read in the other reviews, the 'quiet' wing is not much better. As the hours wore on, the insane noise intensified. Like, seriously? There is no effing way anyone could sleep there- not even with ear plugs.
I finally called the front desk and they said, 'well all the other rooms are booked.' I asked what they would have me do. They said, 'um, we can give you a discount.' (they never did). Finally, I asked "theoretically, if I were to make this reservation again, what exactly would I have to ask for to not get the worst effing room in this place?" and they said, "ask for the quiet side."
Crazy miserable and to top it off, on the way home, we did end up giving our dog one of the 'treats' from the welcome package that they give you when you pay the pet fee. He ended up throwing up blood all night long until we had to take him to the vet and get him fluid injections. $350 vet bill.
Man, good times.
The staff was really friendly and helpful, but that couldn't compensate for the disappointing facilities. This hotel has the potential to be really hip and cool, but it seems like the management it too cheap to help Jupiter reach its full potential.
The large flat-screen tv in my room had sound, but no picture. The bathroom was really outdated and sorta gross. The carpet was old, stained, and had burns in it.
My first night there I found a dead roach next to the toilet. I purposefully left it there to see if housekeeping would take care of it. When I returned to my room I found that housekeeping had moved the roach, but did not dispose of it. The next morning the roach was gone as if "something" had snatched it up in the night.
This hotel is also a hike from the Pearl District and Nob Hill, so it made cabs a must.
Great location, you can walk anywhere and the bar/music venues they offer are pretty cool as well. I was here with my best friend and we were looking to have a fun girls night out till the wee hours of the morning so location was key for us.
****If you are looking for a nice, comfy room and a good nights rest, this isn't the place.
The downside...the rooms are VERY small. So don't expect much. The decor was funky and cool but damn the room was tiny. The bathroom was tiny as well and outdated. Basically this place was like a motel 6 from the 70's that they converted into a hipster hotel.
We also had to pay extra for parking downstairs.
Would I come back? Probably not to stay. To check out the bar again....yes.
For the person who commented on this being very LA....um not even close. The women that worked at the front desk had piercing and tatts all over. This is more hipster than anything.
Hotels are made to rest, not to party and play loud music til 3 am.
Especially if you are in a "band", it's is nice to be able get some rest after the show.
this place was hell: staff was rude and unhelpful, our next door neighbors were partying til 3 am, keeping their door open and playing music, while painting on the door and the restaurant started playing music at 7 am.
After calling the front desk to complain, the music from the restaurant got louder.
Keep away, unless you are into this kind of crap.This is not a place for somebody to relax and wind down after a show: it's just a dumbed down, pretentious LA wannabe hotel, that lacks both professionalism and presentation.
avoid at all costs.
This place isn't really much more than an old run down motel that had some cheap cosmetic work done and was then decorated using cheesy modern Ikea furniture (seriously, you could still find Ikea stickers on most stuff), then staffed with a bunch of Portland hipsters.
The live music venue/club is really loud, but luckily, both nighs we stayed there we didn't get back to our room until 1:00am, after which things quieted down pretty quickly.
That being said, the bar was pretty cool, despite the efforts of one surly bar tender (the other guy was pretty cool) who questioned my brother's Texas ID, had a constant scowl on his face, and totally blew making a margarita for some poor woman (used lemon sweet and sour mix, about half a shot of tequila, served it in a collins glass, and then tried to salt the rim after the drink was in the glass). Drink specials during happy hour were good though.
I dug the chalk board doors, but i'm not sure how i feel about the Juptier Hotel condom left on the bedside table.
Honestly, i probably wouldn't stay here again. It's not that our experience was that bad, there just has to be a better place to stay out there.
The experience of rolling up in an airport taxi with a bunch of old biddies and having it swarmed by drunken hipsters was almost worth four stars. The looks on their faces were priceless. Thank you drunken hipsters for scaring corporate white america for me.
I knew going into this that the hotel was going to be loud. But I had a choice between this place or the hotel down the street, that mentioned pimps beating their hos until dawn. I'll take the hipsters...My traveling companion and I went down to the bar and figured that if we had enough beer we could drown out the noise later. Nope, we had the luck of being right next to the room with ten people that decided to party till 4am on a Thursday. If they weren't pretentious asses I would have joined them.
I was afraid the peeling wallpaper was going to fall and suffocate me during the night, but I had my friend "fuzzy green log" to protect me. (see the room pics) The room was clean, you get free condoms and the front desk people are nice. Why the two stars? I paid way to much for the IKEA hipster madness that I can experience at my house for free.
P.S. I would highly suggest staying away from the bathroom in Doug Fir during the daytime if you experience vertigo or claustrophobia.
Ignore everything you've just read about my last review of the Jupiter Hotel cuz apparently I was high when I wrote it. Or just blind.
I wanted to strangle someone during this last visit and I totally would have, if given the chance.
Our room was in the "quiet wing" - what the fuck is THAT lie about? And compared to past visits, this room was small. And loud. Turns out it's by the ice machine and the public bathroom. And by all the drunk bastards that were let loose til 4am, apparently - who were not only smoking right outside our window, but PUKING as well, screaming, throwing things - all we wanted were earplugs (or in my case, a big ass tranquilizer gun) and there was NO ONE at the front desk. NOT. A. ONE. I wanted to cut a bitch - or at least the one puking outside.
For assistance, dial 0 or 911. 911?? ARE YOU SERIOUS? There's no security 24 hours a day? Isn't that illegal?
In any case, I bitched my way thru the next morning and Brianna, who happened to be working the front desk during my diatribe, bless her heart, comp'd our room for the nite. She and the Doug Fir are its only saving graces at this point.
Unfortunately for the Jupiter, I will not be referring anyone there ever again. Nor will I be staying there. Sorry burnouts, but I'm gonna go somewhere else.
1 Previous Review: Show all »
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9/16/2008
Errr...I like the Jupiter.
But I don't love it.
The location is great, the rooms are clean and trendy,… Read more »
The Jupiter Hotel is cheap & centrally located in the same compound with the Doug Fir Lounge. I've stayed here 3 times and it's everything other reviewers are saying: loud, Ikea clad, and small rooms. It IS just a glorified remodeled motel.
If you know what you're getting into and aren't expecting too much, I think it's worth it. During the week I've gotten a no frills double double for $100/night. Pretty damn reasonable for the middle of Portland.
Worth it because:
If you go to a show at Doug Fir or hang nearby - you can get drunk & walk back to your room
The decor & cleanliness are a little better than similarly priced spots nearby
You can get a good breakfast in the morning at Doug Fir a few steps from your door
If you are a toy geek like me, you can walk across the street to Bwana Spoon's Grass Hut shop/gallery
But:
It IS noisy at night - you will hear all manner of partying or its after effects
The rooms are very small, the bathroom seems to always be freezing
The beds are not very comfy
CAVEAT EMPTOR!
I didn't have high expectations given the reviews, but I was excited to check out this hip, in the middle of everything joint.
Buuuut...The Jupiter is on another planet. It was so LA that I couldn't comprehend that we were actually in Portland anymore.
I chose to pay in advance online which they said had some sorta savings. I don't think it was really worth what I paid. I asked for a mural room because I saw the lovely online picture with the mural of trees.
We got a design-on-a-dime white and orange stenciled bamboo mural. Ugh. Not cute and not classy.
The Doug Fir was gorgeous so I don't know why they can't spend a bit more improving the hotel itself.
That said, it was still a pleasant stay, but I'd probably just do the after midnite special if I stay there at all again.
It wasn't loud like others have commented, but the front desk lady said we were on the quiet side so...
If you had a room closer to The Doug Fir I would totally understand a noise issue. If you stay there, you better plan on drinking until last call and then passing out.
I stayed here on a business trip recently. After reading the reviews, I was nervous about getting a really nasty room. Everything actually turned out fine for me. My colleague however, had to put up with a few mishaps. My room was a decent size. I'm used to boutique hotels...so size doesn't matter as much (ha!). The tv worked, bed was comfy, AC cranked and not a bug to be seen. I'm not sure if I'd stay there again, knowing that it can be kind of a crapshoot. I'll definitely hit up the Doug Fur again though!
The price is right but this is not a hotel, it's a motel with a face-lift. Really noisy, which I expected from the Doug Fir Lounge (awesome music venue downstairs). I did not expect noise from that tent (featured as one of the photos). We stayed right next to it and were woken up each morning to it flapping loudly in the wind. The metal parts of the tent kept hitting other things. They need a permanent structure or nothing at all. The wind makes that thing go crazy.
The bar, restaurant, memorabilia, room decorations, etc., were all very trendy and great! The price is cheap, but again, the rooms are noisy-ass motel rooms, no larger than 10x10 feet. Complimentary coffee and convenient parking. Across from great shops!!!
We did not get the after midnight deal even though we checked in at 2:30AM. Additionally, the guys at the front told me my card was DECLINED even though it was simply not working. I paid cash and had a more friendly lady swipe my card the next morning for night 2 and it worked. Thanks for embarrassing me, dude. I took your word for it even. Next time, take the extra minute to swipe it again.
Lets be real. Its a motel with a makeover. That doesn't mean it isn't rad. Also, its more than a hotel. its like a hipster vacation compound featuring a restaurant, bar, venue, salon, tattoo parlor, and a place to sleep all in one.
The Good:
The rooms are all done up with modern paint jobs and cutesy Ikea junk, but it works. I was just happy the bathroom was clean and there was no funky bugs or creepy weird stuff you generally come across in a motel. They offer room service (presumably from Doug Fir) and have a parking garage. Its pretty central and right next to the Burnside bridge so its easy to get in and out and around town. Weird outdoor tent thingy. Fire pit. They have free coffee in the morning.
The Not-so-good.
Its loud. The venue downstairs leaks sound pretty bad and the place fills up with drunks and concert goers occasionally. Also, when there is a show, the garage can fill up and leave you stranded on the street. This really sucks when you've just come back from a long wedding, are totally drained and just want to park and sleep instead of circling the block for half an hour - AFTER paying $8 a day for garage access (refunded!). The really weird thing to me was the blue exterior lighting which makes it constantly feel like sunrise even at 2 am. Makes it easy to party, harder to sleep. But you don't come here to sleep do you? Ok, I guess you do at some point.
Still, I would stay here again if I could get a double room on the quiet side. Its still fun and a cheaper alternative to the Ace.
Wow! Y'all have been having a rough time at this spot, I'm sad to hear that. I am a fan of the decor in the rooms, though I was disappointed that we did not get a mini-fridge, and that we had to pay extra for parking in the garage. Perhaps we had a better experience since we stayed on Wed night vs. the weekend when the drunken crowd from the Doug Fir emerges. Overall, I enjoyed my stay. No, it's not fancy, but for $100 a night I don't expect the staff to fall over themselves to please me. The gal at the front desk was super nice, she even took our photo with the mannequin in the lobby.
Just ok, was looking for a decent place to spend the night in Portland. Has a great location and the bar/restaurant is much better than the hotel. The hotel rooms are small, but clean. Not sure if I would stay here again.
Cool location. Cool decor... But it used
To be a travel lodge... So all they did was add a fresh coat of
Paint and some hip modern furniture. The bathroom was still old but clean. They had cool Eco friendly toiletries. Full bar of
Soap, face soap etc. Chalkboard door. My lovely boyfriend thought the whole room was chalk friendly... Hahaha as far as noise we didn't hear any. We were on the quiet side. But we were out past 2am so things were winding down at the bar. It was $120 for a room I think so I'm
Not sure how that adds up compared to the other downtown hotels. Overall it was pretty cool if you were looking
For a " different" motel. It was the only motelish place I stayed in on my 2 week road trip where things actually matched. Also the staff was super nice... Maybe they fired the grumpy ones.... I liked
it though .
I didn't get the kitchenette part though ... We were locked out.
Maybe it cost more... We were too drunk to care.... Oh and they remodeled I guess so we had a giant flat
screen so a little baby ghetto TV like some
reviews say. If u need an iron go get it at the front desk.
This is definitely the hippest hotel I've come across in Portland. If you want to visit Portland and rock out and meet lots of people from all over the world, this is the place to stay!
I only stayed here my last night in town and was already partied out by that point but I would have loved to join in on the party going on outside our door until the wee hours of the morn.
The standard rooms are small but have cozy down comforters, simple scandinavian style furniture and a complimentary Jupiter Hotel condom! The door is a big chalkboard that you can draw on and have fun with. DO NOT SMOKE IN THE ROOM or you'll be charged a big hefty fee, as I saw happen to the people checking out before us.
The room has a directory of all sorts of good restaurants and things to do while in Portland which I found to be very helpful. I also enjoyed the food in the Doug Fir Lounge, I think that was the richest Macaroni and Cheese I have ever tasted. It's just a few blocks from Old Wives Tales, a restaurant which I really enjoyed, and if you are willing to walk about a mile to just across the bridge you can take the Max line all over Portland.
I like the concept of the Jupiter Hotel and I love that they have nightly live music in their adjacent restaurant/bar/venue (Doug Fir). But, this is a really average place to stay. Jupiter claims to be a hotel, but it's really a motel with IKEA furniture and uncomfortable beds. If you're not here to party, then don't even bother. This place gets noisy, especially since a lot of people travel here specifically for shows (like me).
Things I did like - the chalkboard doors and the easy access to see live music. It's not a bad thing when one can just stumble across a driveway after a show. With that said, I absolutely loved the Doug Fir...but I'll save the rest of my comments for its own review.
Doesn't get better for this price.
This is a very cool hotel. Fantastic architecture and design. The Room has a platform bed with one of the best mattresses I have ever slept on. This would be a cool hotel to hang out and have drinks with the other guests. I would drink, but the last time I did I woke up in a cow pasture with a arrow in my leg.
Make sure you check out the Doug Fir too.
One star for the neighborhood
One star for the front desk service
The rest just sucked. Without going further I must explain that I was not aware that this place was a rock venue/motel before booking. My travel agent (a friend of mine) said he booked a few people there before who loved it, so I trusted him as he has rarely let me down before. It is also important to note that I was on my honeymoon with my non-drinking husband when we stayed here....NOT the type of place for that.
It could be fun if I was 5 years younger, not a designer, and traveling with a group of friends who liked to party. But really this place is all shine and no substance. Case in point: who the hell picks a bed with sharp wooden corners jutting out 12" in an already small motel room?
Not to be a granny, on many other nights I would be tempted to go join the party. But like I said, traveling with a non-drinker on my honeymoon didn't really put me in the mood for booze with a bunch of hipsters/emo strangers attempting depressing esoteric conversations outside my door at 2am when we had to get up at 7 for another day on the road. Even with earplugs and the air conditioner on I could make out every conversation going on 5 ft. away from our door, as well as smell the never ending wave of smoke. This wouldn't have bothered me so much if the people at the front desk gave us a choice of staying in the room closest to the patio/stage or possibly one further away.
Plus they had very few parking spaces, which is just one more indicator of how they really feel about their customers. Like I said, it's all show and no real attention to the stuff that makes a hotel nice.
tattooed, dirty hipsters running a hipster hotel.
we arrived at check-in time, our room wasn't ready. left our bags behind, went to eat at a nearby restaurant (also run by hipsters, what the HELL, Portland?!?!?!) came back 2 hours later.. room STILL not ready. thankfully, there's lots of good vintage shops on Burnside where we were able to kill more time before FINALLY being able to check in. I was so annoyed by the time we finally got to the room.
I should mention.. this place is LOUD! thank goodness that our room was one of the corner rooms and it wasn't AS bad, but definitely more of party-hotel than a peaceful, tranquil one.
the decor of the hotel and rooms are nice, very minimalist. which is about the only nice quality about this place. definitely way too hip for me.
What a serious dump.
The 'modern' remodel that was done maybe 8 years ago or something is now starting to look like what it was- a bunch of white paint and some cheap ikea furniture. You know what doesn't age well? Cheap ikea furniture. The nightstand was at a slant, the lamp just looked old and ugly instead of mid-century modern, and the blue dentist office berber carpet looked institutional and depressing next to the peeling white walls. The chair had scary stains on the fabric. The nasty green fur log pillow on the bed just looked like a vector for disease. And they had a yellow-gray down comforter with no duvet for a bedspread! Now, I know they aren't washing these very often, cause you don't wash down comforters regularly. So combine that with the lurid free condom that they leave you, and you just feel like bodily fluids are everywhere. The sheets are paper thin too, of course.
Then there's the bathroom. Cracked gross tile, a dirty toilet, everything looks like someone who doesn't give a shit cleaned the place halfassedly. Which is probably what happened. No hot water either. It just looked like a nasty $40 interstate hotel bathroom. I think it missed the remodel.
In the room we were in, the wireless signal didn't work. I desperately needed to get some work done on line. I called the front desk, who sort of tried to help, but their main recommendation was to go outside (it was pouring rain and freezing), or for me to walk across the street to Grendels' Coffee Shop, BUY A CUP OF COFFEE, and ask them for their wireless password! Are you freaking serious?
Then, we tried to order some room service. The phones in the room are not hotel phones, they're regular house phones. so I dialed zero for the front desk and asked them to connect me to the doug fir for room service. They said THEY CANT, because it's an entirely different business, but they could give me the phone number? Not a big deal, but just kind of stupid. Then I placed our large room service order, and was told that I couldn't charge it to the room! Now, the Doug Fir, which is actually a lovely restaurant, is located inside the Jupiter. Whether or not they're different businesses, could you 25-year-old stoners make the effort to figure out a simple accounting system where your hotel guests can call direct from their rooms and order food charged to their rooms?
Be warned- the way things look on the website is NOT the reality! Stay away, unless you just don't want to drive home after a show, and even then you should sleep with your clothes on!
I like this place a lot. I didn't give it five stars because the beds aren't all that comfy and there's a little trouble regulating water temperature while in the shower. Ei yi yi! But hey, I come here to hang at the Doug Fir. What a great looking bar! They have huge blackberry martinis that I would happily ingest for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (if that didn't result in my being continually inebriated). The food isn't bad either.
The outside area is a groovy place to sit in warm weather. You can stretch out and enjoy the wi-fi, working up an appetite for your next blackberry martini. And I think you can get a tattoo at the same time. The rooms are clean, supercool and mod looking, and ridiculously affordable. We reserve the most expensive (but still cheap) rooms, not sure what the cheapy-cheapy rooms are like.
Across the street there is an excellent coffee shop serving a wonderfully spicy chai and some kitchy art shops featuring local artists. Makes for a nice little weekend.
The story is probably quite different in the summer time. We went during Thanksgiving and I was happy as a honey bee. The place was EMPTY and we owned that shit. We of course did not let the clerks know we had a dog in the room, or else that probably would have jacked up the price.
The Doug Fir patio thinger is a cozy little hangout. Yes, it is trendaliscious, but isn't that just cause to drink more? Stop your whining and get your whiskey on. Pretty soon everyone looks and sounds the same after a little whiskey, isn't that the beauty of alcohol? If you're going to bitch about the entire world being trendy.. well.. you're just going to turn into one abominable bitch, and you should call me, I need more of you in my life. Just belittle those hipsters and get over yourself.
Anywho, the room is totally exploding with IKEA, and that is... weird. But comfortable. They also leave green apples at the front desk, which I think we made into some kind of... uhm.. inhalation device?
Kids leave your bongs at home!
This hotel was great. My husband and I were in town for the NIN concert and this hotel was in the perfect location.
It's basically a souped up old Howard Johnson, but I enjoyed it.
Perks:
-Cool soap.
-Chalk board Doors
-Small rooms.
-Comfy bed.
-CONDOM!
plus, the adjacent restaraunt has the "Fir Burger". Can't get any better than that!
Why did I expect to get any kind of sleep in a place like this?! Maybe when I made the reservation I assumed I wouldn't be such a grouchy biotch the night I pulled up to check in. They gave us the noisiest room in the MOtel, upstairs from the Doug Fir Lounge. My bedmate and I turned up the air conditioner as loud as it would go, not intending to freeze ourselves, but to drown out the enormity of sound coming from outside AND downstairs. Those drunk smokers thought they said such prolific shit at 3am! Wish I could've regurgitated that word vomit back to them the morning after!
Got my hair done the next morning on the Jupiter grounds, that was cool. Also, some sort of Miss Latina Transexual Pageant was going on when we were checking out, so we hung out and enjoyed the show before we left. That in itself bumps the rating UP to 2 stars! Those bitches were fierce, and they dug my platinum dye job!
Sometimes you want to stay at a place where you can party, wake up late, and have rock star stories to tell your friends later.
Sometimes you want to stay at a place where you can sleep, wake up rested, and get on with your trip.
Make your choice before you make your reservation here. If it was the latter, keep looking. There are some decent motels and hotels around Portland that will provide that nice, comfy, quiet room.
If it was the former, the Jupiter is your place, and my rating is based on that. If I were looking for a comfy spot to rest my eyes and awake refreshed and renewed, this would be a 2 star review. I was warned before hand that it was an... 'alternative' hotel. The Jupiter Hotel branded condom and the two sets of ear plugs next to the speakers with the iPod friendly jack on the table between the beds solidified that warning.
Honestly, thank god for those ear plugs. Our drummer passed out quickly and was sawing logs by the time I got back from the Doug Fir lounge for a night cap. That was about 2am. Within minutes:
a) I had discovered I had forgotten my travel bag that contains my ear plugs that I carry exactly for snoring band mate scenarios (as well as toothbrush, deodorant, toothpaste, condoms, shampoo, razor, etc. etc. etc.)
b) Our upstairs neighbors plugged in their mp3 player and started jamming out techno and having loud, rough sex. I'm not sure how many people were upstairs. I was tempted to head up there and join in, but we had a long weekend of driving and shows ahead of us.
I heard Phil rustling around with something on the night table and wondered if he was thinking about grabbing the condom to head upstairs too. I muttered, "That's quite the party" and he said, "Yeah, thank god this place came equipped with two packs of ear plugs."
Thank god indeed. Those ear plugs stayed with me the entire trip and provided me with several nights worth of restful sleep. I think Phil kept the condom.
The fellow working the desk at night was named Josh. He remembered me calling to find out if they offered special rates for Alaska Air members or rock stars, and allowed us to both park our car in the 15 minute guest parking where he could keep an eye on our gear all night, AND didn't charge us for parking. That was pretty fucking awesome of him.
They also had a pile of green apples in the lobby, which was breakfast. It took us some figuring out, but we also finally got access to the Jupiter Hotel wifi and were able to check some last minute stuff on the computer.
The room was decent. Modernist and bare, hip. Not your typical generic motel/hotel room. Bathroom was... eh. It also got pretty stuffy in there without the fan blowing. It was a bit pricey for what it was, but I'm glad we stayed there for the experience. I'd stay there again when I come down to Portland to party.
stayed here for a weekend getaway. room was delightfully small. i appreciated the little touches- speakers with jack for ipod, chalkboard doors, nice soap and what, and a big green furry thing which made its way into a few photographs. i couldn't connect to the WiFi, but i seemed to be the only person experiencing this trouble, so i'm writing it off as a fluke. it was probably for the best, as it kept me off of yelp and facebook long enough to actually get me out into the city!
the staff was great- friendly and hip, which was good because i didn't have the internet to tell me where i needed to be. i was directed to some fine eats and the best punk club i've ever been to (http://www.yelp.com/bi...).
the adjoining restaurant served delicious food til 2am, and i caught an AMAZING show in their lounge (KINSKI, Subarachnoid Space, Lickity) and enjoyed a few cigarettes by the fire outside- much appreciated on a night with snow!
i slept very comfortably and warmed up quickly with the big space heater.
i don't do hotels often, but the price seemed reasonable for the location and quality. recommended.
I stayed here in spite of the reviews warning me that I might not sleep at night. Indeed, I stayed here to spite the all-powerful Gods of you're-getting-too-old-to-run-with-the-hipster-cro wd-any-longer.
The first night I felt pretty good about myself in this respect. We got a little buzzed in the Doug Fir, making little inside jokes about the fashion choices of the headlining band. We drew obligatory chalk porn all over the door of our room, and took pride that we were the noisy ones blasting the tunes from our ipod into the speakers provided by the hotel. After finally passing out, we slept through the night, having felt like we showed the Gods a thing or two.
The second night was the Gods' revenge for us thinking we could hang with the Youth of Portland. The thumping techno of the high school prom outside in the courtyard vibrated our room prevented our weary bodies from falling asleep until after midnight. On a Saturday, no less. Touche, Gods.
Cool hotel and a good place to stay if you want style on a budget. The rooms are a cross between IKEA and the living room display at Urban Outfitters, but once you get past the initial surface impression of the furniture and decor, you realize it is all basically cheap and flimsy crap. That goes for the walls too which are paper thin, and since the hotel is attached to The Doug Fir Lounge, a live music venue/restaurant & bar, you can clearly hear the music coming from inside the venue, the music they pipe out to the patio, and every word of some of Portland's finest hipster dork's pseudo-intellectual conversations, stretching into the wee hours of the morning. So you probably don't want to stay here if you want to get any sleep.
On the flip side, its a stylish and I guess 'hip' place to stay for cheap, the staff is very nice and helpful, it's attached to a cool venue and excellent restaurant/bar and is within walking distance of downtown Portland. Great place for bands on tour to stay as they give a discounted room rate to bands. Bottom line: for the money, you aren't going to get anything nearly as cool as this.
If I could give it ZERO stars I would.
When the owner of the hotel dumps a full glass of wine on your date and claims he'll make good on replacing the purse and paying for the dry cleaning...one just assumes that he'll keep his word.
Hey Todd Breslau...read the book you include in your rooms!
Don Miguel's The Four Agreements
Anyway hope to see you roaming around the Triangle.
Karma is a b!tch.
First Impression: Remodeled 70s eyesore hotel in a don't walk in dark alleys area of town!!! But they did a great job with the design. Very cool, young, artist and fun. It was super convenient to go and see a band at the Doug Fir while staying there.
Bad points:
1)They say they are dog-friendly but they charged me $25.00 per dog per night. Effectively doubling the nightly rate with two dogs. I mean I could of stayed downtown at a Fancy hotel on the river for $100. Plus, the hotel is a post-modern concrete jungle with Astroturf. I had to walk to find a small patch of grass for my dogs. Not really dog-"friendly" but dog-tolerant.
2)The rooms are loud from the drunk smokers hanging out after shows that they give you earplugs in your room. A noisy hotel? Definitely for a young crowd who's ear drums are already shot, have stayed up late partying and are exhausted from using the free condom that they crash aggressively into dream world.
It's the only place I stay in Portland now - the rooms are reasonable, and the area is landing restaurants with some of the best food i've had in a long time!
This is not the Ritz by any means, but for the location, great mid-century / modern design....it's where we've been staying for over three years now.
Minus a star for being difficult to navigate in terms of getting there and not getting hopelessly stuck on one of the crazy one-way bridges that connects the two sides of Portland.
Plus four stars for being quirky, and not kid friendly- I especially liked the condoms provided on all the pillows and the chalk board doors.
The service was good, reasonably priced and the beds were pretty comfortable. I'd come back, but there are so many awesome boutique hotels in Portland that I'd hate to pass up a chance to snootily review all of them...
