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Joe's Restaurant
Categories: Sandwiches, Fast Food, Chinese [Edit]
3185 Queens Chapel Rd.Mt Rainier, MD 20712
(301) 699-6270
1 review for Joe's Restaurant
How to gain 5 lbs in 1 week: My dietary itinerary last week.
*** Monday - Lunch:
I've been going to Joe's since it first opened. In fact, I've been going to Joe's since before it was Joe's. It was called Queenstown Restaurant (I think) back in the day. This was where I popped my steak and cheese cherry and my arteries have been in serious jeopardy ever since. Either serious jeopardy or total cholesterol immunization as my diet has always consisted of fried crap, deep fried crap, deep fried deep fried, and pork fat.
I've literally eaten everything on the menu at least 10 times each. Sometimes, I'll order Page 3 for lunch. Literally. Almost.
Enduring my 3rd day of working at my parents' store, high noon approaches and the only thing that would satisfy my hunger on this day would be:
Whole steak, ham, egg, and cheese with everything (including hot peppers)
3 wings with Mambo sauce
301-699-6270. Not only have I memorized this number, I also know that the numbers sum up to 43. I've also decided that this is due to my default ordering schema of a whole (large sub) that is cut into quarters (the 4) and the number of wings I usually get (3). 43. I would also include the numbers multiplied in order, but there's no sense in that since the zero at the end will always kill the answer down to zero. Division is also not a possibility as you cannot divide a number by zero.
I digress.
Call in order. In all the years I've been going there, they know my voice and where I'm calling from but have no idea what my name is and vice versa. 5 minutes after calling my order it, it's ready to be picked up. There are 2 tables for eat-ins, but I've never eaten here.
Back to my parents' store with a baby sized sub and wings drenched with Mambo sauce. Open the sub. There's no point in trying to save the pieces of steak or ham or egg that wants to escape, as the sub itself is too too too stuffed overly with this goodness. Just let those go and salvage them after consuming the sub. The sub itself: pure heaven in Mt. Rainier, MD. No, this probably isn't going to be the best sub you've ever eaten, but there's something mysteriously good about it. Add on the fact that this one of the absolute best portion-to-dollar ratio in the history of subs. Hot chopped steak, American cheese, thick sliced ham, and 2 eggs fried hard. Let me make a very important note:
This is the only place to my knowledge that I've felt compelled to NOT double meat my steak and cheese. The amount of meat they put in is seriously ridiculous in proportion to the price. Decent quality as well.
Wings are big. Chinese carryout big. They double fried, meaning, they have a big vat of pre-fried wings that they refry when an order comes in. Big, crispy skin, juicy, and meaty. Damn. This description also seemingly fits a 75 year old Long Dong Silver of pre-Raquel Darrian days.
Monday Dinner (at home):
About 1.5 lbs of pork bulgogi with a heaping bowl of rice. Cilantro added to officially make it a salad.
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*** Tuesday - Lunch:
Basically the same combination of sub and wings, except the steak and cheese was replaced with a Combo Sub. The Combo Sub consists of ham, turkey, and bacon. Got everything on it + extra mayo - hot peppers. Meat portion is just a teeny weeny bit less than that of a steak and cheese. What can you really say about ham, turkey, and bacon except that it's ham, turkey, and bacon? I give myself a high five for ordering this + extra mayo.
Wings: read description above.
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Overall, Joe's is a pretty typical Chinese carryout that offers both Chinese food as well as sandwiches/subs, fried chicken/wings/gizzards, fried seafood (shrimp, flounder, croaker), etc. that you find in abundance in DC and areas immediate to DC. While others may consider this a 2 or maybe 3 star place, I give 4 because they've never done me wrong. Only right. In abundance.
