JIVE ASS ROLL

Elite '08

558

377

kevo m.

San Francisco, CA

Top ten reasons they'll take your Japanese card away...

10) Speak no Japanese
9)   You have or had an Orthodontist (thanks mom!)
8)   Never helped fold cranes
7)   You don't do the peace sign in photos
6)   No highlights or dyed blonde hair
5)   You don't carry a camera with you at all times
4)   You don't have daikon legs
3)   You don't like rice
2)   You don't have some kind of charm on your keychain, phone, or in your car (thanks to tinna, I now have a pooh in a tigger suit charm!)

1)   You like JIVE ASS ROLLS

I like *some* jive ass rolls. I make jive ass rolls...sometimes. But you gotta try it to say you don't like it. If you're lucky, I might make some for you.

Prease don't take my Japanese card away.

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Elite '08

457

407

nobu k.

San Francisco, CA

Fxxx it!

Well,
So, where was I ? Yah, about Jive Ass Roll.
I didn't mean to post it. Sorry, my mistake.

There is no Sushi Bar calls Jive Ass Roll on Geary Blvd.
I am writing about the Roll in general.

You know, That's not a bad idea to have a Sushi-place calls "Jive Ass Rolls". They should call it in stead of Sushi because it's not.
Well, I'll bet you that there are NO J-SUSHI CHEFS enjoy making it.

I just wanted to say that it's too much.
It is all started from California Roll using Saran Wrap to reverce it.
We all know that.
But It just too far gone using MAYO & HOT SAUCE SHIT!
What the Fxxx with that Crap?
I don't get the idea of using it.
Where the come from?

BBQ ELL is seems like everybody's favor, I think because Sweet Teriyaki Sauce.
At the Sushi bar, I order Anago sometimes but not Unagi.
I've never order Unagi at Sushi Bar only because I like RAW FISH a lot more than BBQ ELL. When I want BBQ ELL, I'll go to have a UNA-DON instead.
Maybe someone who was "CREATATIVE ", put  the sliced AVOCADO AND BBQ ELL OVER THE SUGARED RICE CAL ROLL with the sweet sauce on it.
But,
That's a KOREAN INVENTION.

There is something else.
RUSSIAN INFLUENCE.

Yes, you heard me right. It's Russians.
RUSSIANS EAT A LOT OF SUSHI.
I got this info not from CIA nor KGB.

A Sushi Chef on Geary Blvd told me about this story a while ago.
Some Russians like MAYO on Sime-Saba ( a half day salted vinegared Mackerel).
And they eat the MAYO ASS ROLL with FORK.

I'll get nervous just thinking of this combo. EWWW! Help me!
It's like eating rice noodle and dropped it and picked up and eat it inside of 30 Stockton.

I think that is very disgusting havit but I eat Natto so, do you think that makes we are even?
HELL NO! Even though Natto smalls like shit.
( Is there anyone Russian Sushi Eater Yelper? I just like to sit down and talk to you. I just want to know WHY. I'll tell you why I like Natto.)

MAYO + Korean Hot sauce + Tonkatsu or Teriyaki Sauce = What The FXXX Sauce for a Jive Ass Roll with sugared rice.
Even though Japanese QP Mayo is not same as US kind. Taste different.
This reminds me of that when I had Okonomi-Yaki with MAYO 1st time at Bote-Jyu, Osaka, Japan about 30y ago. But in Kobe's Okonomi-Yaki, No Mayo.

I don't call it CREATIVE.
It's just making a big mess.
It is very hard for me to call it "Sushi" anymore.

P.S.  I just heard that Unagi + Cream Cheese combo! What the hell? and Paemesan Cheese too? Oh Shit, I gotta go to bathroom so badly.
Another one from Carol L, Spinach, Peanut butter and Chicken roll!This is over my head.
sigh.....
So, MAYO, CREAM CHEESE AND PEANUT BUTTER  DON"T GO IN SUSHI, PERIOD.

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Elite '08

463

304

omar b.

Santa Clara, CA

Fusion my ass
Unagi and cream cheese is nasty as hell
Chamchi kimbap is not tekka maki
Kill me now
'Neo-sushi my ass
Lobster and salsa is nasty as hell
A**holes
Maybe inventive and creative is not always needed
Eradicate it

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Elite '08

185

216

Akiko T.

Westwood, CA

SCREW jive ass rolls!  They ruin my dining experience and make me into a rude Tokyo chick.

These are LA places that make some serious jive ass rolls:
* Crazy Fish (Completely takes the cake home)
* California Roll Factory (on Santa Monica Blvd.)
* Koi
* Sushi Roku
* Blowfish Sushi to Die for
* Geisha House (evil name)

And practically all other Pseudo Japanese Asian fusion crap you find on every street corner in LA.

Tempura does not belong inside a roll. And neither does teriyaki sauce, Philly cream cheese and smoked salmon.

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211

377

Asil T.

San Francisco, CA

Jive ass rolls leave me feeling bloated, salty and unfulfilled. Screw that!

The worst involved PEANUT BUTTER!!! In a sushi roll! WTF.

Edit:  Ok, for those of you who don't know...there is NO PLACE called "Jive Ass Roll".  Sounds like a business destined to fail.

For the origin of this name, please see ALL of Nobu's reviews on bad sushi places: http://www.yelp.com/us...

;)

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Elite '08

142

113

Gin-Chong T.

Westwood, CA

WTH is up with women wearing shirts that are at least three-sizes too small for them? Did you run out of clean shirts? Did you shrink your shirt by putting the washer on hot instead of cold? And don't get me started on those jeans. Please don't sling those rolls around while you're blasting "My Humps" and microwaving your (third) Lean Cuisine for lunch, because the other two just didn't satisfy you. Lady, you'd have to hunt down and devour a small gazelle to be able to satisfy you.

Now that's some seriously JIVE ASS ROLLS! Err, wait. What were we talking about again?

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Elite '08

73

154

Frederick G.

Venice, CA

In defense of the Jive Ass Roll
Commentary on the anti Jive Ass roll postings 7/11. Purists beware!

I was surprised to come upon 4 simultaneous reviews of "jive ass rolls" yesterday, surprised at the outrage generated by these evolving creations.

I don't get it? Why the outrage? Why not? They were created in CA, after all, not JP. Not that it even matters. It's culinary creativity.

Food is influenced by the regions it travels to. Hence, Nobu Matsuhisa started making sushi with Peruvian accents, as he worked there for many years, and was inspired, heaven forbid, to try something new. The result? An empire. And endless imitators. Asian fusion is now a new style of cuisine.

Why be rigid and stuffy when it comes to food? The French would not have created Nouvelle Cuisine and endless restaurants from France to Europe to America would never have happened, restaurants reviewed on Yelp, chefs that are revered world wide. Let's not even talk about Wolfgang Puck and his pizza bastardizations. And to go back a bit further, we would not be eating sandwiches now, had the British rose up in horror against the inventor of that fabulous brainstorm.

While a Jive Ass Roll (I like the name, I see one being built) may not be Nouvelle Cuisine, the California Roll that predates it is a lasting addition to Japanese cusine. After all, it was created by a Japanese chef here in LA and thanks to him and his enthusiastic followers, it took on a life of its own. And it has contributed to the world wide popularity of Sushi. Why, they even make it in Japan, kashu-maki. Why not rolls, Jive Ass rolls with Korean, Russian, American twists? Put whatever you want in them, see what happens.  If they weren't liked or successful, restaurants would not make them. But they do because they sell. People, 'gasp', like them.

If you don't like it on principal, just don't eat it, in fact. But it's not going away. Nor is the creativity that birthed it in the first place. That endless search to amuse the palate that has plagued man since the beginning. Thank Gawd. It's why we're all here, right?

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