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Categories: Bars, Music Venues [Edit]
Neighborhood: Nob HillLast night was not the first time I was at Hemlock--we all drunkenly walked over there from Aces at a DYL, and truth be told I don't remember much after that. I DO remember that it was crowded as fuck and the bathroom had a shower curtain instead of a door (because I haven't been traumatized by walking in on someone doing their thing enough) but nonetheless I know that later on that night I crawled into bed and probably made a trip back and forth between my head in the toilet and my head on a pillow.
HOWEVER, last night was Keane's 26th birthday and of COURSE I was happy to be invited/attend/etcetc, so screw that experience and live one up here.
I arrived and immediately pissed some people off by hugging Keane--because when Keane gets drunk he gets ADD and thus cutting off any conversation swiftly for the new shiny object. Which I love about him, because he gets all happy to see you and tells you he loves you and touches your hair while telling you how nice it is--and its HIS birthday. He's so awesome.
I'm really glad I didn't eat that day because then getting trashed would have been *really* expensive, and you all know how much I like to not spend money + be a cheap date. Halfway through the night I noticed there is a SMOKING ROOM!?! Yah know, if I still smoked (which I *clearly* don't anymore), then I would totally love this place even MORE. But I wanted to stalk Jon a little and followed him in despite stumbling home at midnight smelling absolutely fucking TERRIBLE and then you realize your sense of smell is deadened by alcohol and wake up feeling bad for the person sleeping next to you.
But I got a free zippo!
I love the smell of butane in the morning. And the sound of my coworker shrieking as I try to light it off the side of my pants because she thinks I'm going to set myself on fire (which I probably will eventually)
The bartender was gracious enough to help Amanda and I out with presenting Keane his birthday "cupcake". It's a whole helluva less awkward to sing happy birthday at the top of your lungs when other people are joining you (not the case at work, I've learned).
Overall, great bar. And if that super hot bartender from 83 Proof all you ladies are dying to see again comes here on a random Monday night, then coming here would *obviously* grant you a spot at the cool kids table in school.
Oh and they must serve up some strong ass drinks because halfway through the night I put on a long black wig and people came up to me saying "Wow I like what you've done with your hair!"
What, you mean like, from 5 minutes ago?
My superpower: growing hair out at wicked fast speeds and changing its colour in bars.
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I've gone to a lot of shows here, but rarely just gone in for a happy hour beer. Last night I popped in to say hi to Adrienne G and Pam who were on some kind of sex-toy related pub crawl. What a pleasant surprise - the place was not too loud, not too crowded, they have Trumer on tap (my favorite think-globally-drink-locally beer), and they like you to dump your peanut shells on the floor. How awesome is that?
For Trumer, friendly bartender, and a floor covered with peanut shells,
4 stars. Woot!
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If I had known how truly poisonous this place would have turned out to be...I still would have gone. After being forced to drink some mystery beverage in a can, my guide in the pubs of Polk led me here. Drank a few, talked a lot, flirted with the bartender, got poked with a stick, got fed some peanuts, eventually made it home.
What in god's name did they put in my beer? I only had a few, but I fell over the edge long before I anticipated.
Drunk dialed a few people who really should have stayed put.
Holy shit it's now 18 hours post event, and I'm FINALLY ridding myself of the hangover.
Loved the vibe, can't wait to go back. Think I'll avoid the mystery beverage this time.
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It was my brothers birthday and this place was one of the first bars we stopped at. The place was packed with hipsters. That doesn't neccesarily make it a bad place but when you go to a bar and the bartender is ignoring you even though there is no one else ordering a drink at the moment it doesn't make me want to go back. Also maybe it's just me but going to a bathroom that has a fabric curtain around it seems wrong.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA........ AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
I think this is the first time Yelp has failed me. Everyone says this place is so great. Why? Because they have a good happy hour?
I should probably say that some people are not made for dive bars and I am one of them. This is something you should know before going any further. There are a few that I like (The Page, Lucky 13) but I generally go to dive bars having a plan B or just quick one with someone who has insisted.
This is also something I have known about myself for a while and so generally don't judge because who am I to judge if I already have a prejudice?
But NO!
This is as divey as it gets WHILE being hipster enough for people to think it is hip. Ugh. To me it was just screaming "We serve alcoholics. And if you aren't an alcoholic, well you just haven't been to a meeting yet." I walked in and immediately walked out; I could just feel the happiness being drained out of my body. Depressing bar syndrome was setting in. Get out quick before you feel you NEED to buy a beer instead of WANT to!
I'm already close enough to going to a meeting. I don't need Hemlock pushing me over the edge.
P.S. One extra star because I didn't actually stay around and give the place a well rounded shot because I was so put off by the atmosphere. If someone can buy me a few rounds here to convince me that I will not immediately start crying into my beer and complain audibly about why life is so unfair, I will most definitely update this review.
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I always go to this place when I'm in the Bay area. It's pretty cool, a little punk rock, there's a pool table, the drinks are strong, the crowd is laid back and down to earth, they serve peanuts in brown paper bags..score... and they have a smoking room, so you don't have to freeze your ass off in the winter.
Last time I went the magic sort of died. It was New Year's and I had been inside for a few hours. I walked a friend out just to say goodbye and when I turned to walk back in the chick at the door wouldn't let me in without paying $20. I literally didn't step more than a foot away from the door. F-ing ridiculous.
I hadn't even closed out my tab, but she wouldn't let me come in even to do that. She was really rude to me too, like she was something special working the door at a bar. Whatever, will I go back...I don't know...maybe, but if I see her working there still, no way.
Canceled the credit card and ended up not paying my tab. Oh well.
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i have a crush on the HOT lady bartender there. kind of really packed, definitely hipster central, but not bad for a local bar.
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Solid bar and music venue. Came here when we discovered that Vertigo across the street was closed on Monday nights, and it was a good alternative. Notable features include a pool table, small stage and extra seating in a separate room, and a patio area. The bartender was nice, charging us happy hour prices after happy hour officially ended, so I forgive the fact that it took him a full minute to figure out how much to charge us for 3 drinks. Don't let the run-down exterior fool you--the bar's in pretty good shape and the bathrooms were well-maintained.
I can be a bit of a beer-snob sometimes, and tonight reinforced it. In addition to the selection of good beers on tap, they also have Racer 5, which I tried on a dare/recommendation. The rest of my night was thrown off by the queasiness normally associated with the high-G turns Speed Racer and the Mach 5 take on the racetrack.
TRIVIA: Maybe my queasiness was karmic... the hemlock herb (genus: conium) was the official state poison of ancient Greece and the method used to execute Socrates in 399 BCE. I'd much rather focus on the Muppet character of Sherlock Hemlock (http://muppet.wikia.co...), though.
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Any place that makes it easier for me to smoke (even if I do plan on quitting in the next month or 3) kicks ass.
It's unpretentious and not difficult to get to at all. Cool bands play here too, but if you're not in the mood for that, not to worry - they play in a separate area from the bar itself.
Drinks are reasonably priced - it can get loud on the weekends, but I've only seen it uncomfortably crowded once or twice.
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A punk band that plays pirate tunes on a Monday?!
Cool!!!
I was thinking... Yo ho yo ho....
But the band fricking rocks!!!
They freaking spoke to me man!!
"This goes out to people who have to work tomorrow!!"
Yo that's me man!!!
"This goes out to people who loves Whiskey!!"
Yo that's me man!!
The bar is busy on a Monday!
There is a seperate smoking room to the side. And the stage and lounge area is in the back.
Oh man there is a catchy verse I wanna tells ya when I'm sober...
That'll be on my update. Oye!!
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Nice place to see a band. Spacious bar out in front that has a classic, old fashioned look to it. Small stage and space in the back for the band, with a mirror along the side so even if there are tall people in front of you, there's a good chance you can still get a view of the stage. Good graffiti in the bathroom.
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What makes this place super cool?
Smoking garden/patio/room
Pool table
Free Jukebox
Great beer selection
Cool crowd
Live music
Cool bartenders
And a big ass marlin hanging from the wall...or is it a tuna?
Sometimes you gotta get out of the Mission, and this is a great alternative
Overall, nice.
The smoking room is a good touch, even though I don't smoke. My friends wanted an Irish car bomb, but we had to settle for kamakazis since they "don't do" bombs. Which is a little sad.
I saw at least 5 attractive people, and the bathroom had some intellectual graffiti and stickers.
Yeah, that's how I judge my bars.
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I came here on a Sunday night and it was really busy. Not my type of crowd a bit too much facial hair and too many tattoos. The smoking area was cool though.
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#1800.
Hemlock's is the kind of bar that you'd let put you in a chokehold...and like it.
I was hanging with a guy for a small spell of time who swore by this place, so last night, while in the area, we decided to check it out and see if it was as cool as he said it was. And sho 'nuff, it was.
I really dug this place for a lot of reasons. The vibe, the tunes, the cocktails, but what I loved most about it, was how much it reminded me of New York bars and how several of the guys hanging here and playing pool looked like hot New York guys with scruff. The clean, polished and vanilla variety of chaps that seem to dominate so many scenes in SF were nowhere to be found and that was a fun change.
Not hatin' on that type, but I think I am just more of a dirty, scruffy, big nose, sexy ugly lovin girl.
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Cash only?! Really? In a world full of plastic you choose paper, tsk tsk tsk... However, the drinks are reasonably priced, so all you need is a bit of cash on hand.
I am loving the indoor/outdoor smoking patio - whoo hoo! More places need to have a special section for the stanky ones ;)
Oh, and I recently found out that they have a cool small little back room with liver performances! Lovely!
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Just kind of wandered in here, because we were in the area. Drinks were good, but not that strong. Saw a room in the back with dancing and live music so we were gonna go check it out, but it was 7 dollars...on a thurs...so we skipped that plan. Good thing, because 2 minutes later the music stopped for 15 minutes. Feel like the average age was higher about 30, but it wasn't too crowded.
Hemlock Tavern is like comfort food. You feel comfortable when you are there. Okay that's kind of lame. Anyways, considering the current declining state of the Mission staple bars (Delirium, Casanova, etc.), Hemlock (same owner as Casanova) saves me cab money and is a better designed hipster sports bar than say Delirium (i.e. a claustrophobe's worst nightmare).
If you're on the prowl and have a thing for dudes or girls with tats, then come here. My friends claim that if people are looking to "have fun" they're pretty much guaranteed to find someone at the Lockster. If your not on the prowl and just want to have a beer with your friends, then come here (preferably early if you want to snag a table).
One star deduction for the always pissed-off spiky-haired bartender dood (you know the one) that always looks and acts like he is coming off a bender or on the verge of wanting to kill someone every time a drink is ordered. Cheer up lil fella and do your job.
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I am feeling bitchy... so I am giving 3 stars, when I really want to give 3.5 but I wiil not round up to 4...
Anyway, this place is really nice and big... and good drinks.. really low key and chill... great place to go for a beer and hang out... there is a lot to in this neighborhood ( Nob Hill) so you can just stumble onto this place like we did on a bender...
the doorman was a bit of a douche but I think he had a Napolean complex... anyway early on I was complimented on my style... so you know i was happy... The beers were more expensive than the well-drinks at VERTIGO across the street-- say what?
I wanted peanuts but we got there really late and fries were calling my name so I waited...but I will have to go back because I love warm nuts.... (insert obvious pun now)
I loved people watching here because everyone was really diverse.. obviously there were a lot of sub-culture/ hipster peeps but also other kool kats.. some in particular: two marina lookin' fellas in their vertical striped dress shirts (untucked) with boot cut jeans square-toed dress shoes and way too much cologne.. they stuck out like a sore thumb and I loved it...I gave them both back stories... I think they have a fetish for hipster girls with tattoos.. they like it rufffffff in the bedroom... middle-management guys always like to be dominated in bed
overall: definitely a chill hang out with friends over a beer and warm nuts (hehehe) good indoor smoking area and pool table (if that is your thing)
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I vote 3 stars and not zero starts just for the fact that this place is decent during the non-regular-drinking hours. Like say 4pm on a Tuesday.
But if you dare go here during their regular rush hours you're gonna hate it if you like being around people who aren't covered in bad tattoos, don't have bad hipster hair, and who generally don't suck.
I met some quality people during happy hour times.
There is definitely a witching hour where things just go down hill.
Oh my God! I went here last night for The Pirate Band show, and had sooo much fun. The bartenders were really sweet, and the drinks were (possibly too) strong! The back room where the band played was really friendly. It's so intimate, totally breaking down my expectation for the too cool for school vibe I sometimes detect at music clubs. For the most part, a very friendly staff.
Definitely a fun, fun night. Thanks Hemlock!
Everyone Loooooooooves The Hemlock. Maybe I'm just "different," or I guess i'm just not scenster enough. Not to be a grump, but to me the Hemlock is just an average bar. Maybe even less, because the " outdoor smoking room" to me seems more like the inside smoking room. Yuck, no one wants to inhale second hand smoke, isn't that worst than first hand? Heck hand me 20 packs if that's the case.
Come here if you don't mind shouting over 823734 other voices to be heard, and huddle tightly because the sea of people in here is enormous. Don't worry though I'm sure as long as you have fun friends to hang out with, it'll be all g double o-d good. By the way, they don't take plastic. Are we in the 1800s?
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Not exactly my scene at this bar, not even really sure what scene this is. Straight young hipsters perhaps? Normal people who want a drink after work? Anyways, who cares, it's a good place to have a drink. If you have never gone to the Hemlock Tavern then check it out because it's a cool spot. It might become your favorite bar, who knows.
One thing I like about this bar is that straight and gay people mix here really comfortably and naturally. So if you have a group and half are gay and half are straight then this is a good place to go that everyone will like and feel comfortable at.
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It's too loud, too crowded, bathrooms suck, and there's almost nowhere to walk.
I don't know, maybe I just didn't like the crowd there. And, i don't think they take credit cards. PLastic is the way to go fellas... catch up.
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I like lists, so here are some lists relating to Hemlock:
Pros:
1. Nice door guy
2. Interesting crowd, not really heavily favored toward anything
3. SMOKING ROOM INSIDE (though it was the first of these unbelievably nice warm days we've been having, so it didn't seem as cool, but I know when it gets cold again how novel it will seem)
4. Close to other bars I guess?
Cons:
1. Bartender was a serious dick. I asked for a beer that wasn't on their list but is on every other bar list in the USA, Bud Light. I'm not defending Bud Light or putting down Hemlock for not having it. However, I ordered it, he glared at me, grabbed a list slammed it on front of me and said "THIS IS WHAT WE SELL" then refused to serve me a drink for the next 15 minutes. Honestly, all of that was a bit much.
He's not a Cop or a firefighter or anything else important, he's a fucking bartender. LOOSEN UP UK-ACCENTED BARTENDER GUY FROM HEMLOCK.
2. No Bud Light (sorry I had to)
3. I think there were a lot of sad shallow people doing coke, which is usually a sign a bar has gotten too hip for it's own good.
Overall, it's alright, and maybe Fridays are a lot different than other nights of the week. But it was cool, I guess.
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Mixed Feelings about this place. I guess it's just standard. I don't love it nor do I hate so 3 stars it is.
They have a good HH, and I've seen a good band or two here, but other than that it's a not really my scene. I find the place cold and rather uninviting. Oh, and I don't smoke so the smoking room doesn't do it for me.
Hmm, so you're perusing Polk street, and you're faced with a myriad of drinking options. How do I choose, and choose wisely at that? Hemlock manages to be understated and overstated at the same time.
The lone bar dominates the lower level of the space, and includes a beer selection on tap that is not super extensive but more than adequate, with a balanced range of domestic and european brews, including the personally prized and not too common Smithwick's. Flanked to the right is the much lauded indoor smoking room, which is a nice feature in that you don't have to go outside and leave your drink behind. Smoking and drinking, so hot right now.
What ultimately distinguishes Hemlock from the other bars in the general vicinity is the show space in the back, which is a cool spot when they have small concerts. Now we're talking some synergistic hedonistic stimulation. Booze, beer, smokes, guys and girls for the girls and guys, and vice versa, and live music, all wrapped into one. Success!
I like coming here with my friends and having a COLD beer and HOT peanuts and chillin. I rarely come here during the night but during the day I perfer better.
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A nice casual atmosphere, beers on tap for $4 ($3 during happy hour), a pool table (even though I don't play pool), ample seating, bags of roasted peanuts for purchase, what more could I ask for?
Well, I guess I could ask for real doors on the bathroom stalls, seeing as how the swinging saloon style doors on one stall and the shower curtains on the other both made me a little nervous, but that would just be nitpicky of me, wouldn't it?
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Feliz Cumplenos to you
Feliz Cumplenos to you
Feliz Cumplenos to KEAN...NE!
Feliz Cumplenos to you....
*spanish song for an asian man!*
First..do you realize the expense of using the Happy Birthday song? The person who owns those rights should be swimming in money!..Second..Happy Birthday, Keane..Thanks for inviting us all out to buy you a damn drink..**side note- I expect the same on my birthday!*** ..and third..Thanks Hemlock for offering such a great Happy Hour on this beautiful Monday! Although, I'm not too certain what the actual special was..I only know that I bought six beers which came to be merely $22.50! Sure...that's an expensive 6 pack, but it's still a great deal especially when you're getting quality draft..The best part about the draft was that I could tell that they clean their beer lines..Far too often I order draft beer and within minutes have what some would assume is a hayfever attack...You heard right..I sneeze and get all puffy eyed after ordering most draft brews..It's because their lines aren't cleaned properly..But..oh no..Not at Hemlock..At Hemlock..the only thing I walked out with was a good buzz..as well as very hungry..Which is why I just ordered a pizza..
So..to wrap this up...
Hemlock= large, dark "dive" on Polk St. There's also a seperate kinda-outside area that allows smoking...**holds up hands in a mocking "YAY"..i don't like smoke!
*Pool Table
*Large Bar
*Ample Window seating..which for this evening also offered those at the bar a front row seat for an arresting!
*Happy Hour..Two draft beers=$7.50 (Guinness and something else)
*Bartender who remembered me each time I ordered and even offered a deep discount on my third round! (Thank You!)
Should I find myself in the area again..I'll saunter over to Hemlock...although..if the live show that we witnessed is any indication of the 'hood after dark..I may need to put on my big boys pants the next time..Unfortunately, this time around I wasn't quite prepared for what I was getting into.
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I was watching a punk band play here once and when they were done, I kicked open the rear door to walk out. And then this skinny hipster crawled out of Mordor or whereever he came from and started yelling at me: "Hey! Dammit! This is the fire exit! You can walk out the front like everyone else!" And then he slammed the door in my face.
First of all, let's try to assess who won that stand-off. Look at the facts: a) as he was yelling at me, I was already outside on the street b) I was drunk and he had a beard c) add up A and B and you can see that it was I, yes ME, who won our stand-off.
And why can't you go out a fire escape!? It's an exit too, right? What, if I kick that door open the SFFD is going to come rushing over to the Hemlock?! I got news for you: the SFFD don't like indie rock.
Sincerely,
Gavin Newsom
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This review is based upon my recent afternoon experiences at the Hemlock. Some of the things that make this place for me they have Racer 5 IPA on tap, cheap shots of Makers, one of the best jukeboxes on the West Coast(if you're into Punk/Noise), the smoking annex(not for me anymore, used to be great). Pete, the bartender I've had lately was great and friendly. This place seems to have changed a bit in the last couple years and as a result the crowd on a weekend night can be a weird mesh of people which leads to a weird vibe.
They've upgraded the stage in the back which was pretty bad & is now passable. I've seen some great shows here & they have a wide variety of acts that they book here. I've seen some great shows(and a couple bad), the entry to the shows always seem to be $6-$10 which is very affordable for this city. Many of the nights are well worth it, if it's a good act it can be nice to be that intimate of a venue.
F.Y.I. for a bonus on Thursday nights there is a needle exchange nearby in Hemlock alley. Stock up on free condoms!
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I really can't go back here anymore...
By the time I've decided to come here I shouldn't be out anymore. Then that leads to memories I'd sooner rather than later like to forget.
My friends bands play here a lot... sorry i miss your shows.
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I came here with a dude in a striped shirt who works as a hedge fund analyst and lives on the fringes of the marina.
He stood in the far corner, looked terrified, refused to touch anything, and made us leave after one drink.
It is a tiny corner of the Haight right in Polk Gulch, drinks are cheap and strong, and leather is everywhere. I will be back for sure, this time with some more suitable company in tow.
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I not so secretly love this place. I walked in and felt transported to a simpler time, where bartenders were surly and poured stiff drinks and the patrons all looked fresh outta the Williamsburg hipster scene in NY. It was, to put it mildly, glorious.
I first came here to see the XyZ Affair play in the back room. I like how it's small and intimate and loud. I like the dingyness of the bar, and the marlin on the wall. It's close to my house and the price is right. Total ace in the hole.
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You: Shoulder-length blonde hair, wearing a black headband and black top/pullover. Sitting at the corner of the bar with a friend, and projecting a mood of extreme boredom.
Me: Just came up with an opening line this morning. I fear I am too late.
2 stars for the following: Peanuts, and the Heffewizen here tastes like bubble gum, seriously. This place is kinda cool on weekedays, but I really try to avoid it on the weekends. It gets full to the point of it being uncomfortable. Not quite as hipstered out as say Edinburgh Castle a block away, but they are still out in good effect.
Also, some nights the DJ's/jukebox plays pretty good punk rock, so thats a plus as well.
I saw This Moment in Black History in the Hemlock Tavern and it was one of the most awesome shows. So, TMBH rocked, but so does the Hemlock's back room. It's about the smallest space you can have both a band and people in; they ain't gonna have no Guns and Roses reunion road tour there, but the prices are pretty dirt cheap for live shows. The sound system is alright, it's definitely loud enough. And, it's just so cool to be in such a small space filled with so much energy. It might a little skanky, but i happen to like that, if you don't then clean your bathroom instead of seeing a show here.
I guess the band really makes the space, I'd loathe being in there with, say, Color Me Badd, or Herb Albert and His Tijuana Brass. But if the music is rocking, I'd be there.
Not that my review matters anyway.
Oh yeah, the bar has drinks, tables and pool, I guess it's got all you need.
This review rocked in my head, sorry It didn't come out so well... I have been asked if English was my second language, by my thesis reader.
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Waitstaff and bartenders in this place are extremely rude to the point of insulting customers. Please do not patronize this business. They treat their customers very poorly and they should not be rewarded for that with your hard earned cash.
I was at the bar at closing time, having ordered several drinks and tipped as well. They were surly, rude, and verbally insulting at closing time, and their comments were unacceptable.
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I went on a road trip in California. Ended up only getting one night in San Fran. The Hemlock was an awesome bar. Smoking room, good crowd, and a music space in the back room. The night we were there we saw the Filthy Thieving Bastards--which was simply Awesome! I never thought I'd get to see them, and I did with only 30 or so other people. It was such a lovely evening!