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Grackles
Rating Details »
- Good for Kids:
- Yes
57 reviews for Grackles
So all true Yelpers must post a grackle review. I'm game.
You know that old saying, wherever you go, there you are? In the case of the grackles, it should be wherever you go, there THEY are. There's not much that hasn't already been said about them, but I do want to give them two stars for one feature. Ever notice when a grackle is walking, his mouth is open? In those rare moments when he doesn't have anything to say, he's still prepared to say it. Grackle Boy Scout motto, Be Prepared. Gotta admire that.
You looking at me?
I was here first, you moron,
don't throw your shit, fool...
Oh, wait, I thought this was grackles reviewing humans.
Every Yelper should do a grackle review.
Were they a problem at 6th and Lamar before the mega-Whore Foods was there? I don't recall that they were... (?)
The Highland Mall grackle scene is an actual horror movie, reminiscent of the feeling of some circle of Hell.
They also appear to enjoy the Olive Garden.
I think they can sense evil and that's why they flock around those three places.
Cockroaches of the sky...
I've had to physically fight you twice now for my food and although you are cunning and strong, I am bigger than you and have opposable thumbs. Ok, how about we work out a deal-I'll leave you alone and let you steal the crumbs or my leftovers if you will please just quit attacking me and my food when I'm eating outside?
P.S. I hate you.
Dude! If you think she's that freaking hot, buy her a drink. Or 12.
And get a room. Geez.
But please use a condom. There are too many of you phuckers around already.
Oh, and here are the keys. You can have it. I don't want it. That berry shit just doesn't come off of white leather.
Alright, Errol, I'll get on the Grackle Train. Years ago while working at a huge x-ray facility in town, a bunch of us would go out frequently for happy hour (or happy 8 hrs). We had a bunch of HH rules. The first being of course "What happens at HH stays at HH". Closely followed by "Never park under the tree at Trudys."
If I had a bigger set of balls and not worry about going to jail, I would buy a BB gun and take one out every time they land in my yard!
Don't get upset I have't toasted one yet!
Crap.
That's what they do.
Crap and make lots of noise.
When I moved to Austin 13 years ago, I hated these oily noisy birds.
Nuisance! I thought.
Now I admire their tenacity, their raucous perches.
They crap everywhere. Make a lot of noise. Are opportunists.
I decided they are a lot like poets.
Yes the evil grackle aka Quiscalus quiscula. They shit everywhere and scavenge wherever you seem to be and are the filthiest thing bested only by the Cockroach.
But beyond the damn bird, what I hate more is the few afternoons a year that the University of Texas decides they want to shoot off air guns to scare away the birds. For hours you hear the blasts around the university area. I'm no gun nut, but maybe some live ammo would better help eradicate the population.
With feathers shining gloriously iridescent, grackles are the blue collar working class heroes of the Austin avian pest scene.
When something needs to be pecked or pooped upon, grackles don't hesitate. When some sparrow steps out of line and needs to be corrected, there's always a grackle there puffing up massively and shrieking. They do what needs to be done. Quietly and without recognition.
Some might think that grackles merit a one or two star review. Oh, you've experienced better? You mean you've experienced a better inedible pest bird? Where? Certainly not amongst a flock of vacuous pigeons.
And who are we to criticize the coarse, yet authentic, grackle birdsong as mere noise? Who are we to force our perceptions of beauty on to an animal that is really trying hard with the whole singing thing? Remember, that one Yelper's cacophony is a grackle's heartfelt ballad.
These guys have been keeping Austin weird since before that was cool Five stars.
These oily little fuckers lurk inside the oak tree that shades the Bouldin Creek Coffeehouse patio area. They squaaaawwk high up in the tree then dive bomb at the heads of customers. They land on our tables and try to eat our food. They shit at will. They strut around on the ground and fly at our dogs and babies. They are bullies. Sociopathic bullies. It's no different here than anywhere else...except for last night.
Last night, one of those little fuckers, for once, empathized with me as it watched me struggling with my taxes. I couldn't believe it. So I just wanted to say thank you here to the grackle who shat on my 1040 last night, restoring my sense of humor and balance to the universe. You're a-ok in my book!
Get the eff out of my yard.
Quit walking....no, quit STRUTTING in my grass you cocky little bastards.
Go back to Mexico where you were born.
You don't even have a green card.
The GRACKLE-WAXWING War of 2002
(The only weapons I ever bought or borrowed in my life were a high- powered slingshot and a BB gun after the following scenario played out in MY kingdom. This is the first time in my life that I have shared this story with another human being. Please enjoy.)
One bright and sunny perfect spring cerulean blue-sky-ed day in my backyard paradise, I watched a large-fat-bossy-entitled GRACKLE turn to a sweetly chirping little WAXWING next to him on the cantilevered branch of a centuries-old oak tree. Cut to Backdrop... amazing view of park-sky-downtown, Peter Pan Golf off to the right, angelic tenor monks singing in accapellic harmony...
In SLOW
MO
TION
.
.
.
the GRACKLE, large, ominous
luminous neon yellow
eyes and
black and
blue feathers
.
.
.
turns slowly
.
.
.
to sweetness
and joy
.
.
as
.
If
.
To
.
SPEAK
.
.
.
And
.
With his
.
Beak
.
Smashes waxwing repeatedly until waxwing falls to freshly mowed lawn. DEAD.
I realize nature must do what it must do in my backyard, that alpha dogs dominate and aggressive, loud, big and mean always has the upper hand.
I have FEELINGS about grackles and none of them are life enhancing.
Poop on my car a thousand times, will you? Well played, dirty birds. Well played.
Gather in downtown trees and power lines just to make everyone nervous? I'll park 3 more blocks away just to keep away from your perch.
Yeah, you better fly away before I shake my fist again.
One of my favorite grackle memories was fresh after a big hail storm that totalled my car they had shat on the day before. The Trudy's North Star parking lot was full of dead grackles. Literally hundreds of them.
I laughed maniacally for a full minute. Ice: 1 Grackles: 0
While writing this I see the multiple choice below;
Good for kids: Yes (5 votes)
Hah!
Remember that day when for some weird reason all the grackles downtown spontaneously DIED overnight?
And the police were like, "ummmm... I hope this was not the work of terrorists... GRACKLE-HATING TERRORISTS!" and they were trying to do tests to see if it was something the birds ate, or if some crazy homeless person with a B.B. gun had a fun evening, or if a power line zapped them or what.
They never figured out why all those grackles died.
Let's go over some of the highlights of my interaction with the grackles in Austin:
Sitting on a balcony at Congress and 7th street. A grackle shits on me.
Walking to Trudy's north in the parking lot, under the trees out front (you know the trees I'm talking about). A grackle shits on me.
Having drinks at Shady Grove. A grackle shits in my beer.
Shoal Creek Saloon. A grackle shhh, Oh you get the point.
One of these days grackles... I'm going to shit on you.
I can't forgive you assholes for stealing my beagle's food right out of his food dish. Then you stole him.
How were those Alka Seltzers, bitches?
Dear Grackles,
Please stop looking at me that way. I would also appreciate it if you would stop stealing my food whenever I try to eat outside.
By the way, where's your other leg?
Allison
I like their beady yellow eyes.
So I'm sitting outside of Freebird's munching on a burrito. There is a couple sitting at the table next to me. The girl gets up and goes inside to probably throw up the first half of the burrito she'd just eaten. The guy is yammering on his cell phone. I'm watching the grackles play in the water of the parking lot.
In a bold move, one of the grackles risks his life and jumps up on their table and steals a potato chip from the girl's plate and hauls ass back to safety. I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. The girl comes back and the jerk doesn't even tell her that a grackle was rummaging around in her food. I bet she has lice now, or rabies.
Grackles rock! Yes, they may be LOUD and MESSY, but so is rock n' roll! I've rediscovered my love of grackles since moving back to Austin and seeing them everywhere. I think they kick the cardinal's ass.
Edit: Just discovered that Great-Tailed Grackes are from Mexico, which means that some people will hate them even more, but makes me like them even more. Yes, they follow "disturbed environments" - and who is doing the disturbing? You suburban humans!
Here ya go, Jack...now as limerick -
I once met a bird 'twas a grackle
Whose caw was a sick sort of cackle
You ate half my food
Which was -- frankly -- rude
Which is why, with my french fry, you were tackled.
There is this bar.
Behind this bar, there is a patio.
Shading this patio, there be a tree.
Up high in this tree what do I see?
The dapple of afternoon sun.
The hazy green of summer.
The simple beauty of nature-
a single bird's nest.
and then.
sinister
watchful
hungry-
the red, baleful eye
of the grackle his handiwork
splashed artlessly
across our table.
Wow, I'm totally in the minority here, but I think grackles are cool.
That awesome, iridescent, so-black-it's-blue (or is it, so-blue-it's-black?) color on the male's feathers is beautiful. And I love how they get all puffed up and make that throaty courting noise when they're hitting on those grackle chicks.
I mean, they aren't cardinals, or mockingbirds, or peacocks, but at least they're not pigeons.
3-1/2 stars in my book...I'm bumping them up a 1/2 star because I always stick up for the underdog.
My dog is slightly delusional. He THINKS he is a great hunter like his beagle ancestors. If allowed, he would spend all his time sitting... and waiting... and watching.......for the prefect moment to attack and win his prize grackle.
In real life, Murphy is a teeensy bit overweight, and usually a few seconds behind you.
But.... not today dear grackles. Someone let their guard down, and today was Murphy's victorious day. I dunno how but he got one of you suckas!
So first lemme say EW and then lemme say thanks a freakin pant load, for making ME the bad guy. I had to take away and dispose of his special catch that he was so proud to show me.
Next time your about to drop into our yard and annoy the crap outta everyone, you might wanna make sure theres not a chunky butt beagle hiding in the shadows.... watching.... and waiting......
The Good:
:: they eat cigarette butts
The Bad:
:: they eat cigarette butts
The Ugly:
:: they eat cigarette butts
:: they poop cigarette butts
Would I pet one? Definitely not. I prefer to take my meals sans rabies, bird flu, or ebola. I would, however, like to squish one with my angry fist. Yes, please.
This shit is OUT.
Dear Grackles,
Stop flying 2 inches from my head inside Whole Foods.
And never take my biscuit again you flying rat.
I hate you,
Jaye
Their feathers are kinda pretty. You don't see that blue-black color every day.
But seriously, if we had rats running in the streets, eating our food and stealing our babies like these jerks, there'd be riots.
I say we call in the Pied Piper of Grackles to rid Austin of this menace.
Now in haiku!
grackles fill the trees
their cries assault my senses
damn them all to hell
You stole cheesecake off my friend's plate at Austin Java. You routinely fly into my H.E.B., perch on the sign above the Salty Snacks aisle, and swoop at the heads of folks below. You have pooped on me -- twice -- and once was en route to a job interview.
That said: two stars because you do look cool. Also, you've managed to evade my cat. He's quite the bird murderer (birderer), yet somehow he's never managed to catch one of you. It's impressive.
I love grackles. In Austin, they are great tailed grackles, and contrary to what has been said here earlier, they are native to this region. Climate change just has them moving further and further north into parts of the country that have never had the pleasure of having their fast food french fries stolen while they are momentarily distracted. The grackle: doing its bit to fight childhood obesity in Texas.
The calls the males make are wild. There's the machine gun. The car alarm. The FM static noise. The grinding wheel. The loud clicks, and the loud whistles. All the females seem to say are "MEH!" I have noticed that the females seem to be the most courageous, flying to the same table you are sitting it at Whole Foods and staring you down as if to say, "as soon as you leave, that roll is mine!" I've even seen them take my dog's food, and drop it in his water bowl to soften it up before eating it.
They are very smart and provide me with hours of entertainment.
personally, i DIG them.
here is my first intro to them. (copied from a post in a thread)
semi-funny grackle story.
i was in Dallas on business a couple years ago. i was exhausted and went through a drive-through.
i suddenly see what looks like a scene that would have TOTALLY one-up'ed "The Birds". the guy takes my money.
i say to him in an abnormally steady tone "do you see that?" and nod towards the 2 million birds on the telephone/electric (i don't know) wires.
him "yeah".
Me "that doesn't concern you?".
him "no".
Me "oh cool!!! well i'm from Florida and that scared the shit of me!!!"
my first intro in Austin was almost a year ago when i was visiting to scope it out here. it was Thanksgiving weekend. i would watch them from my 8th floor room at the Driskill. they would cover the buildings below and then would fly in formation. it was gorgeous. but i love those sort of things.
Dear Grackles,
GO bird Flu!
Go back to California you bastards - and take your people with you! (OK, some of the people are alright - but let us pick and choose)
You are the single best argument for genetic modification and/or viral attacks that I can think of.
Other than that you guys are fine.
GO Bird Flu!
The love child (bird) of Edgar Allen Poe's "Raven" and Hitchcocks's "Birds"
Don't every say, "I don't see what the problem is.... I've been at UT for four years and haven't been shit on yet."
Seriously... within 60 seconds I was just another "I'd hit that" to some pervy grackle
Greasy grimy birds
Rats of the sky
Annoying patio diners
Crapping on cars
Kidnapping small dogs
Legs sometimes missing
Eye(s) always beady
Still...a part of Austin
They're not supposed to be here (boat-tailed grackles aren't native to Austin).
They steal eggs out of the nest of songbirds. Many of which, by the way, are becoming endangered.
The shit on everything. Your car. Your food. Your head.
They are apparently afraid of nothing.
And anyone thinks these creatures are a good thing??
stealing my kiddos fries at Central Market then trying to grab the grill cheese.
I swear I should bring a freakin bb gun and shoot as many as I can
but that would be bad
dead, creepy birds all over the CM playground...
*sigh*
I hate you all!
damn youse!
Grackles exist solely as objects for my amusement and disdain. They rule over the other birds and squirrels of the UT campus like vicious barons. I've seen them punk out every other species for food, including good ol' homo sapiens. Their sheer gall delights me.
They lose a star for failing to take me up on my repeated challenges to fight while we stare at each other.
Dear catch-playing funny-looking puppies,
Thank you for playing catch with me at Thunder Clouds. If I toss up a piece of my sandwich, you can always catch it mid-air. It's quite impressive.
However, you were seriously encroaching on my territory the other day when I was trying to have a picnic. Not cool, dudes. There's a time and a place for playing catch, keep-away, and other puppy games.
Sincerely,
Meredith
PS - You kinda freak out my kitten. Work on that.
Me (looking apprehensively out of the window, across the street, to the large flock that landed in the neighbor's tree): Hmmm, I guess the UT cannon is working...
Boots (covering her ears and rocking herself in the corner of the room): now we must move, now we must move....
