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El Gran Burrito

3.5 star rating
based on 97 reviews

Category: Mexican  [Edit]

Neighborhood: Hollywood
4716 Santa Monica Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90029
(323) 665-8720
Price Range:
$
Accepts Credit Cards:
No
Parking:
Private Lot
Attire:
Casual
Good for Groups:
Yes
Good for Kids:
Yes
Takes Reservations:
No
Delivery:
No
Take-out:
Yes
Waiter Service:
No
Wheelchair Accessible:
Yes
Outdoor Seating:
Yes
Good for:
Late Night
Alcohol:
None
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97 reviews for El Gran Burrito

Review Highlights   

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"24 hours, reasonable prices, and fresh salsa bar." (in 27 reviews)
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"…is huge filled with your choci of meat, beans, onions, cilantro and salsa…" (in 7 reviews)
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"…of downtown Los Angeles from its location atop Vermont and Santa Monica…" (in 4 reviews)
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Sort by: Yelp Sort | Date | Rating | Elites'
Photo of Marc D.

 

10

51

Marc D.

Costa Mesa, CA

3 star rating
10/13/2009

it's just fine

but the salsa bar is 5 star

and you can get it at 4am

que beuna

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Photo of Merkin M.

 

48

14

Merkin M.

Tustin, CA

4 star rating
9/17/2009

One, two, hunger's coming for you...
Three, four, order the al pastor (burrito)...
Five, six, the perfect late night fix...
Seven, eight, nothing left on plate...
Nine, ten, tomorrow do it again.

.

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Photo of Caleb B.

Elite '09

175

495

Caleb B.

Los Angeles, CA

4 star rating
8/13/2009

El Gran Burrito...

Because sometimes you want a good taco and an "experience."

_C$

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Photo of Nancy Y.

Elite '09

696

394

Nancy Y.

Los Angeles, CA

2 star rating
11/8/2009

Ditto some of these two star reviews; tasteless meat.  An extra star for big portions, convenience, and the prices, $3.50 for a burrito, $1 for a taco.  Plus the salsa bar is pretty good, and there's a parking lot.  Have to say it again, the meat is pretty bland. Plus nothing on the taco except the tasteless meat.  Definitely wouldn't go out of my way for this place.  2.5 rounded down, a turn off in general.

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Photo of Jenny M.

 

0

9

Jenny M.

Panorama City, CA

2 star rating
11/9/2009

It's pretty good for something sooo cheap. $4 dollar burritos?!?! Crazy. But not the best. It tasted kinda dry, especially the tortilla was kinda hard too. Not soft and moist. I much prefer the tacos. And I also have to say, there salsa bar was pretty impressive when I saw it. But it was pretty much ok. I was also pretty disappointed they had no horchata.

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Photo of Jorga H.

 

1

16

Jorga H.

Los Angeles, CA

4 star rating
10/31/2009

I've been going to this place for years.  I even went back after getting food poisoning.
The food is passable and a great deal
The carnitas - muy beuno
The birria - skip it
Flautas - pretty good, they even have papas

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Photo of Zuby M.

 

0

5

Zuby M.

Los Angeles, CA

3 star rating
11/16/2009

They're okay

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Photo of Misty M.

Elite '09

9

90

Misty M.

Tacoma, WA

2 star rating
7/21/2009

Well.

I'd be tempted to give it another star purely based on Hollywood Video employee late night antics that took place here between my fellow coworkers and I, but I will refrain.

The place is cheap and open all the freaking time, which is what gains one of the stars. The other star is for the fact that I can only stomach the food when I'm too drunk to walk. It's tasteless for the most part and there are many places open 24 hours with better food, however, if you're in the area and need a place to sober up, this place does nicely.

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Photo of Hae A.

 

32

63

Hae A.

Los Angeles, CA

3 star rating
6/9/2009

We got the carne asade, lengua and carnitas tacos and the quality of the meat was pretty bad. I don't even think I tasted lengua. I thought it was all fat. The carnitas wasn't too bad though. You definitely get what you pay for here.  

The wet burrito's red sauce was a bit sweet.

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Photo of Ryan C.

 

28

125

Ryan C.

Los Angeles, CA

2 star rating
4/26/2009 2 photos

Back in the day.... from 95'-00' to be exact, El Gran was the main spot for a satisfying massive $2.50 asada burrito and 65 cent tacos. It USED to be good and would've deserved a perfect rating.  Now.. you can forget about it.

I've probably been back maybe a handful of times since then and its just not the same. The burritos are made just as I remembered except the rice is extra hard from being under the heat lamps for way too long and the minced asada comes with a ridiculous amount of gristle that is usually unpalatable.

Back then, the full salsa bar was a another good thing about this place, but now if you think about it.... you probably should avoid it because of the fear of catching hepatitis.

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Photo of dodus d.

 

13

23

dodus d.

Los Angeles, CA

2 star rating
6/15/2009

One star for the redonkulous salsa bar, which could easily be a meal unto itself (as long as you disobey the polite sign posted above it addressing said sketchy maneuvers), and another star for the hyperbole-deserving prices, which are at least $2-3 dollars cheaper for comparable choices at most other taco stands.

Other than that, EGB's a little bit over-hyped.  I'm glad my girlfriend didn't accompany me to retrieve our dinner, because after watching the process that poor gristly meat went through in order to become her burrito, I doubt she would have eaten it.  The meat's dry and tasteless across the board, and comprises about 10% of a burrito otherwise full of what can only be described as the most prison slop-like rice and beans I've crossed paths with.  

Like others have said, if I'm drunk and broke and it's the only place open, I'll probably come back.  Lacking any one of those conditions, I'll be hitting up one of the better options in the area.

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Photo of Richard K.

 

0

3

Richard K.

Glendale, CA

5 star rating
10/24/2009

best 24 hour food place in the greater hollywood area.  $3.50 for a burrito thats good size and taste great, what could be wrong?
the meat choices are good, carne asada is always good, but i like the carnitas.  and their breakfast burrito for a dollar more is actually great too.

quick fast and tasty, and open 24 hours.  its not an award winning burritos, and its not unique, but El gran is all about perfection in the execution of their mission, cheap delicious mexican food any time you want it.  for that, 5 stars.

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Photo of Pepper M.

 

29

54

Pepper M.

Los Angeles, CA

2 star rating
8/7/2009

the best part: the people watching.
the worst part: the people watching me. i went back and waited in the car.

the food was mediocre (what the hell was with the salsa verde? tasted BAD!), the girl at the register didn't know the answer to a simple question (what sort of tamale do you have) and the pastor was meh in flavor and in quality.

i did enjoy the signs in the lot that read "PARKING FOR COSTUMER ONLY" because, well, as a costumer, i felt appreciated.

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Photo of Gin-Chong T.

Elite '09

233

189

Gin-Chong T.

Westwood, CA

4 star rating
1/15/2009

Alrighty:

      - Thursday.

      - 3 a.m.

      - Tired.

      - Drunk.

      - Hungry as a mofo (as I digested my Brasa meal a couple of hours ago).

This is how my brain functions during aforementioned conditions:

      Walk up to counter.

      "Tacos.  Lalalalalingua."

      "Nachos.  Asada."

I'm pretty sure that's what happened, as I ended up with nachos on my face this morning.  

Saving a star for when I return sober.  And for when I find out where the lengua went.

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Photo of Byanko S.

 

2

83

Byanko S.

Los Angeles, CA

1 star rating
8/7/2009

Way over rated by many .....I tell you cause I try my competition

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Photo of Joe D.

 

69

107

Joe D.

Los Angeles, CA

2 star rating
12/22/2008

My roommate used to swear by this place and I never got it. I was always disappointed with what I got.

Everything really just tasted like sandpapery beans with no flavor. The salsa bar is pretty extensive. This is great because then you can make your food taste like salsa and other bells and whistles instead of nothing but calories and sandpaper.

Are carnitas supposed to taste cinnamony? I like cinnamon but in my carnitas? I know this may sound good in theory but it tasted like a Wrigley's big red gum burrito! Did one of the cook's wrap this up with his mouth slightly open? Is this an ABC gum burrito? Let me know!

It is open 24 hours but in this neighborhood, your 24 hour taco trucks are commonplace.

This just tastes good enough to be better than the Burrito King on Sunset and Alvarado and that is sort of like being the tallest pygmy.

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Photo of Dave K.

Elite '09

78

110

Dave K.

San Francisco, CA

4 star rating
1/9/2009

Why was I here at 2am? See previous post.

I love the outdoor seating.

I love the fast service, notably helpful to impatient drunken hungry carnivores.

I love the self-serve salsa bar and the portable self-serve napkin dispenser, notably helpful for sloppy drunken hungry carnivores.

I love that both the person in front and behind me were sloppier than myself.

I love the Mexican Jerry Springer show they always have on TV (I don't know his name).

I love how they're not scared to give you too much meat.

I love the burrito, maybe the biggest around town, mucho carne, seasoned with a good flavor, notably satisfying for sloppy drunken carnivores.

I love tacos.

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Photo of J. V.

 

3

29

J. V.

Los Angeles, CA

3 star rating
1/18/2009

It's more like "El So-so Burrito", the tacos are much better.  Al pastor, carnitas, and chicken tacos are pretty good, pour some of that avocado salsa over 'em, and have at 'em.  Stay away from the "torta cubana" that is about as Cuban as sushi is...  The rice and beans aren't very flavorful, either.  

That said, it's cheap, and open 24 hours.  Without a doubt, the strangest floor plan of any place I've ever eaten in...

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Photo of Kat B.

 

2

10

Kat B.

Los Angeles, CA

5 star rating
1/28/2009

"El So-So Burrito?" Seriously, man are you kidding me? You will NEVER find a better late-night authentic Mexican place in all of Los Angeles.

First off, the ambiance is absolutely the most ridiculous of any restaurant I've had the pleasure of dining at.  A rule of thumb: the later you come, the crazier the experience. Flamboyantly gay Latinos, kiddie ride-on merry-go-round, telenovelas blasting from TV's, the sizzle of the grill, the chatter of the patrons---it's all part of the experience.

The salsa bar is incredible. Being a sauce lover, I generally order a veggie burrito and pile on the lime, onions, cilantro, avocado sauce, and whatever salsa I can get.

Chimichangas are awesome, as are the flautas. I haven't tried the tacos yet, but I'm not a big meat person.

I've never been disappointed by the food. It's cheap, so don't expect to be bowled over---I think this is why so many people have knocked EGB. You're paying $4 for three chimigangas, rice, and beans. This isn't a snazzy place; it's a roadside stand.

And as roadside stands go, it doesn't get any better than EGB.

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Photo of Brian T.

 

1

10

Brian T.

Los Angeles, CA

3 star rating
11/26/2008

Salted and cooked within an inch of its life, the meat is best consumed when drunk, as most of these reviews will attest. Fresh salsa and onions and such....The birria is top notch... i've had some of the most brutally satisfying binges at this place. fifteen tacos please! They do a brisk business in late night drunken chuck-scratching. Lines of fresh dressed party people rounding out the home stretch with some good old donkey meat (the carne asada is definitely grade ? - the pastor is yum) before they go pass out or do coke in the hot tub or whatever it is party people do after 2AM. Good place to oggle wasted Latinas. Though i've heard it's a transgender hangout at certain hours, so homophobes beware.
You can vomit here and they will just aim the hose at your feet. they'll even let you finish your tacos...

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Photo of Derek Z.

Elite '09

179

259

Derek Z.

Los Angeles, CA

3 star rating
7/7/2008

I guess the food here tastes better when you are drunk. I was on my way home sober when i decided to stop by and grab some tacos. You pay at the outside counter, get your receipt, show it to the man behind the "meat" station, and he makes up your order.

As usual, i try to order a few different tacos and compare them to Verdugos my fav spot. The tacos didn't come close (buche, al pastor, asada,  lengua, tripe) they all lacked flavor and tasted a little mushy. Even after adding some red and green salsa they were average at best. An inexpensive meal, but i wouldnt drive out of my way to eat here again even if i was drunk or sober.

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Photo of Justin M.

 

53

84

Justin M.

Los Angeles, CA

5 star rating
5/28/2009

Epic tacos, reasonable prices, a huge amount of outdoor seating, 24 hours 7 days a week.  This isn't useful or funny or cool, you'll just have to trust me on this one sans hyperbole. This is one of my favorite cheap-eat Mexican spots in town, and just consider the strong competition when I say this.

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Photo of Matt C.

 

6

96

Matt C.

North Hollywood, CA

4 star rating
4/13/2009

ive had better. but honestly for the price and location and hours of operation. this place cannot be beat.

EGB FTW!

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Photo of Dan O.

 

4

24

Dan O.

Los Angeles, CA

3 star rating
4/16/2009

Poor mans food. $3 for a burrito and $1 extra for extra mean... Great deal! Not the best taste (unless your super drunk) but a VERY good size portion! If your looking for flavor over price.. Try el matador truck on western.

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Photo of JAY M.

 

27

21

JAY M.

Glendale, CA

3 star rating
11/12/2008

For BIG $3 burritos that taste great this is the place. I personally do not recommend the meat it looks dirty as it hangs freely in the open la smog and will put you on the pot for a spell.  If you have an iron stomach go for it.
take the metro  it drops you off right in front.

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Photo of John R.

 

642

62

John R.

Hancock Park, CA

4 star rating
2/3/2009

Heart attack tacos.... salty and greasy... the perfect place for the fat addicted masses...  I had 6 asada tacos, 1 Lengua all meat burrito and some nachos w/asada.... sooo good.... fuggin good... I made sure I was with my bud Darrell... He's a paramedic by profession....

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Photo of Billy b.

 

2

32

Billy b.

Los Angeles, CA

4 star rating
12/10/2008

Un carne asada burrito ... Mas  carne! con total. y dos tacos de carnitas(or Al pastor,lengua ,cabeza, depends on how faded i am )  con total  para EE-VAR ... i get looked at like a PRO when i order that !  this place is 24/7
and the salsa bar is actually well kept during peak hours. .. and the salsa game has been stepped up . .. quality as a whole has  been rising instead of sliding downward as it was a decade ago  .. If all you have is 3 bucks to your name ...a burrito here will do you proper  . some of the best rice ive ever had in a burrito has happened here quite few times..

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Photo of Cynthia R.

Elite '09

19

114

Cynthia R.

Chatsworth, CA

3 star rating
5/18/2008

was summoned to El Gran Burrito by friends who decided to eat here at 2AM.  What we encountered was completely surreal (could've been the 4 drinks I had beforehand).  The parking lot was HOPPING.  There was a cook with a flashlight directing us!  Okay, maybe he wasn't a cook, but that's what it felt like.  We parked in a little parking lot close to the place and found ourself in the middle of about 100+ guys in full after-clubbing mode (aka stumbling, yelling, etc).

Once I realized where I was in the city, I understood they wanted no part of my va-jay-jay, and felt a little safer.  I must say, watching your guy friends eat a giant burrito while wondering if that chick in the rubber dress was a dude or not was quite a sight!

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Photo of M J.

 

1

11

M J.

Los Angeles, CA

4 star rating
12/2/2008

Hand's down - Best Horchata!
The burrito is huge filled with your choci of meat, beans, onions, cilantro and salsa. I usually get mine without beans and eat it with the green verde salsa.
The tacos are OK for a buck. The tortilla is kinda thick ..
The salsa bar has two types of marinated carrots (spicy and cool), three types of salsas (red, green and avocado), cilantro and onion, and limes.
There is outdoor and indoor seating with two places to order. Late at night there are about 5 places to order haha.  

If it's a hot day and your craving horchata, El gran is the place to get it for 2$ (:

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Photo of Trevor M.

 

0

3

Trevor M.

Los Angeles, CA

2 star rating
6/10/2009

To tell you the truth, this place doesn't really deserve as high a rating as it's received. Although I only tried the bean burrito, it wasn't very good and one of the most unnerving things about it was the fact that the cheese wasn't even melted. I absolutely hate that. The salsa bar was great, however.  It had a pretty good selection of salsas and pretty big wedges of limes, which I love.

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Photo of Aram D.

 

2

6

Aram D.

Los Angeles, CA

4 star rating
6/7/2008

I'm a fan.

Like many have said, nothing comes close as far as after-midnight mexican is concerned.  The burritos are average.  Sometimes oily, sometimes not.  The continuity isn't there, but hey, it makes it interesting.  Even the horchata tastes different every time (varying sweetness).  The workers are great, particularly the cashiers.  They smile lots.

I get the Burrito Vegetariano with eggs.  No crema.  Rice, beans, lettuce, tomates:  $4.  Not terribly bad for you, and class.

Also, I wish they'd use more practical ladles for the salsa bar.  Really hard to fill the little cups with what's basically a big flat spoon.  Last gripe:  no black beans.  Just pints.  I'll live...

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Photo of eric t.

 

7

138

eric t.

Playa del Rey, CA

3 star rating
8/17/2008

Great late night spot that definitely soaks up some alcohol. I'm not sure until what time its open til.....stick with the Carne Asada burritos. The chicken is pretty gross...nachos are a bit weak but the burritos and tacos is where its at.

the salsas are good...lots of pickled veggies there too.

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Photo of Harrison G.

 

12

173

Harrison G.

Los Angeles, CA

2 star rating
8/17/2008

I feel bad giving this place a bad review because it seems like it's really good and could be really good if I go back a couple times.

I'm on a never ending quest for the best breakfast burrito.   I was biking by and saw this place and the sign said "breakfast served all day" so I figured I'd check out their burrito.  The decor is sparse but I didn't expect much (there's a nice little outdoor area next to the parking lot).  There were flies buzzing around inside.  I notice fly tape (or whatever it's called) hanging from the ceiling.  I'm normally not one who cares about bugs too much as long as they're not in my food but i thought i'd let you know.

The burrito was reasonably priced.  I got it quickly.  The place was almost full even though it was 3pm so it seemed popular.  I sat outside and dug into the burrito, only to find out that it was nearly flavorless.  All aspects of it were sub par.  The eggs had no taste.  There was no salsa (even though I asked for some).  The rice, an interesting addition, was bland.  Even the bacon didn't provide extra flavor.

I want to like this place if for no other reason than that it serves breakfast all day.  I will probably go back sometime and try and different dish because it seems popular and lots of people like it.  Perhaps it was just not a good time to get a breakfast burrito.

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Photo of stephy s.

 

3414

2474

stephy s.

Los Angeles, CA

4 star rating
5/9/2007

What do you get when you mix several tequila margs, 2 jack and cokes, a shot of jack and a few sips of corona?

A) A hangover
B) A drinking problem
C) Hungry at about 2am
D) All of the above

The answer is definitely D, but for this review's sake, it is mostly about C. So after a marathon night that started at Malo, then headed to 4100 and Safari Sam's, 2 dudes and I ended up here and yay, am I glad we did!

Open 24 hours and packed, this place served up a really tasty pork and grilled onion burrito loaded with cheese and sour cream and just about everything in between. And it was cheap! It was a big burrito and while it was no SUPER BURRITO (http://www.yelp.com/bi...), it was definitely more than I could finish and that means it was big, dammit!

Now, I am having a constant debate with that Antonio A character about really big burritos in this town, but unless you are some super-sized burrito aficionado or weigh everything against the infamous El Tepeyac burrito (http://www.yelp.com/bi...), which I have yet to try, then I think it is safe to say that this will hit the drinking spot for you and will beyond fill you up and hopefully you will avoid A in the process :)

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Photo of Mike L.

Elite '09

779

910

Mike L.

Norwalk, CA

3 star rating
1/29/2007 1 photo

I can understand it's cheap and the place open 24 hours. Probably every Cheech and Chong wannabes out there on a munchy run will make a stop here.

This place reminds me of Albertacos back home at Cypress. Cheap, but not necessary the greatest food out there. Whereas I got violently sick from Albertacos, I was able to live to tell about it with this place.

The unique about the place was that it has two different ordering spot within one restaurant. You can order it on the inside or on the outside. The inside has the subway sandwiches lunch table look, complete with the salsa counter.

On the outside, picnic benches with a TV televising soccer games in Spanish. The ambiance is perfectly described by the first reviewer as a "county fair" vibe. Honestly, it's more like a Mongolian BBQ kinda feel to it. You got the cook out there cooking away out in the open. It's a man show with the efficiency of a Japanese auto plant where he just knows the perfect combinations of the right amount of meat in a burrito. You should see how this guy perform under pressure where there's three guys lining up waiting for their orders.

What you need to do is order what you want and pay the cashier. She'll give you the receipt, take it to that cook and watch him perform. The menu on the inside and outside is the same. I guess at the certain time period, the cook would retired and you will only have the inside to order from.

I ordered the "Weekend Burrito" which was only $4. Nothing fancy or spectacular to rave this muncher. You can also order the cheap little tacos or enchiladas. But it's the weekend burrito everyone comes for on a weekend. Try to imagine this burritos as Del Taco's Macho Burrito with the beef well cooked, rather than the taco meat they put in Del Taco.

A plus on that, but not really a big deal. Like I said, it fill the spot, but only a tad higher in quality than a conventional roach coach.

If Harold & Kumar got lost on their way to White Castle, this would be the place you can find them at during the weird hours of the night. Yeah, you'll definitely see people from all walks of life in this joint.

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1

16

German S.

Los Angeles, CA

2 star rating
10/7/2009

this place was good about 10-12 years ago. now its ehh. i'll make my way there once maybe twice a year. i have to say that for the past 2 years or so el gran burrito has gotten better. its open 24hours the food is ok, the meat is ok at best. nothing really to rave about. its decent mexican food. if you are there i recommend the chimichangas or the breakfast burrito wich pretty much a regular burrito with egg. the salsas are good though.

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46

119

Jon J.

Los Angeles, CA

5 star rating
4/30/2007

So it's 4am. Lord knows why you're still awake. The bars are long closed. A lot of the late-night diners are also closed. And yet you have an almost delirious desire for a burrito - greasy, hot, and slathered in sauce. You could risk one of the "roach coaches", those beyond sketchy mobile taquerias, or you could flip over some couch cushions, scrounge together three bucks, and head over to El Gran Burrito and indulge in some tortilla-wrapped goodness beneath the stars. (And don't worry, it's got a big "A" hanging in the window, so you can eat with some measure of safety!)

Yeah, it's not the best Mexican out there, but the usual late-night/early-morning patrons aren't exactly looking for a culinary masterpiece. They want some grub and they want it NOW.

And by "now", I really seriously mean it. Last time I was here, I had my horchata in hand from... I dunno, somebody... before the waitress even managed to count out my change. Drink service is equally matched by the speed of the cook who, upon receipt of your... uh... receipt, will crank out your asada-infused brick of delicious faster than you can say, "Woh, that was fast."

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Elite '09

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99

Rick R.

Riverside, CA

4 star rating
12/23/2007

Orale... the grub's pretty good for the price!
Unless you get a lunch special somewhere or are hauling around coupons like June Cleaver you probably won't find a cheaper price in town for the quality here.  

I had the carnitas burrito and the taco de pollo.  While the burrito came with beans and rice, the taco was simply chicken on two small warmed tortillas.  Even your local taco truck will put onions and cilantro on there for you. Jeez.. The chicken was moist and tasty though, and the carnitas were slightly crispy around the edges and tender throughout the way I like 'em  While the condiment bar was nice: salsa roja, salsa verde, avocado sauce,  cilantro/onion mix,  radishes, and escabeche, I don't like having to unroll my burrito to add all the extras to it. I couldn't imagine doing this if i was tipsy and wobbly. But once I did, the flavor was great. The flavors meld together perfectly. I will definitely stop by here again.

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Elite '09

94

188

Frank K.

Los Angeles, CA

5 star rating
7/24/2007

Best 2AM food after a long night  of dirty martinis and even dirtier dancing. I love the irony in its name: the great little donkey. And I adore how warm and tasty and delicious the pork is in its warm and tasty and delicious tortilla filled with warm and tasty rice and delicious beans. A nice salsa bar with an A-Z of condiments, toppings, salsas, etc. Always long lines, but there are two ordering/eating areas because of the drunks stumbling in from all directions, so quick, impersonal, EFFICIENT service! Well, there's no table service, you line up like you're getting gruel, but you're actually getting the best carnitas burrito ever (or whatever you like).

Mind you, it's a bit ghetto. Interestingly though, it is sparkled with fruits and their respective flies. Whatever the scene, everyone's here for a gran burrito, even straight boys.

Cash only. Cheap. I had $8 in cash, and it was enough for a burrito and a Coke, with change to spare for the needy (like yours truly).

Aire libre! Eat outside under a tent! Which is good esp. when you need fresh air and you're about to topple over because you're too drunk to prop yourself up. Note: This hasn't happened to me. That much.

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Photo of Gerry K.

Elite '09

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Gerry K.

Los Angeles, CA

3 star rating
12/31/2007 1 photo

Allright kids,

It's time for uncle Gerry to get real.

Sometimes your uncle eats things that aren't good for him.  Eats things, not because they build his muscles, or give him energy, but because they make him feel full and loved.

Now don't judge him.  Maybe, someday, when you're pushing 34 and you realize that even though you did your laundry and cleaned your house, you still haven't even begun to work on your income taxes and you probably have spent so much time dickin  around on your computer doing meaningless stuff that you'll never catch up and fulfill on your sparkling potential- the purpose that you were put here in life- and you are going to seek comfort.

Comfort in an enormous log of stretchy flaky buttery carbohydrate.  A cylinder of forgetfulness that will melt all your troubles away.

Perhaps you will combine said log with aforementioned crispy fried plantains replete and swirling in their heavenly crema.

Who knows, chickadees, if you will stuff in slabs of fiery hot crunchy carrots from the salsa bar to create the most soulful burrito ever eaten?

It costs five bucks.
Don't judge your uncle Gerry.
He loves you.
Now get me some napkins.

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