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Categories: Adult Entertainment, Dive Bars
Neighborhood: Poncey-HighlandMon-Sat. 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 a.m.
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I have been twice. Once on a date, and a 2nd time I took a Euro-trash friend there.
The first time was on the weekend. loud music, mix of Emory students and many odd types. Overall a fun vibe and cheap drinks. We saw Blonde and the Little Red Riding hood.
The 2nd time, upon entering at 9pm on a Wednesday I noted the place looked like the bar in the first Star Wars movie. Yes, that one.
I ordered a couple of Ying Lings. I then mentioned to my Euro-Trash friend that the girl on stage (Blonge) is rumored to have AIDs. He immediatley walked out before having a drank. I finished one of the beers and soon followed to head to a more respectable place with my European compadre. Sleazy, dirty bathroom, cheap, good first quarter spot. Check.
Finally made it out to Clermont Karaoke... had a blast.
It's definitely less people there (it is on Tuesday night, after all), but it's got a decent crowd of i'd say 30 people? Only 3 or so strippers working the stage since Karaoke is the main draw.
The Karaoke selection is impressively extensive, and the karaoke hosts are very funny and entertaining. To be honest, I expected the singing to be a bunch of train wrecks but I would say 50% are very good singers, 25% are not that bad and just can't hit all their high notes, and the last 25% are just bad. But for 75% of your karaoke singers to be decent, that's pretty good for the Clermont.
I would recommend Clereoke night for anyone who likes strippers, dives, and karaoke. Who doesn't?
Also, side note... the last 3 times I've come here, i've noticed that the Clermont has incorporated new talent... maybe 4 or 5 new strippers, and all of them are not train wrecks. I think they're all under 35 years old, and two of them are legitmately cute. What the hell is going on here!?!?!?!?
I had heard about this place many many times but I was skeptical the first time I was dragged here.… Read more »
Clermont Lounge looks like a really shady establishment so I had to go. The cover charge is $10 on a Saturday night. The joint is small but actually have a couple of securities inside. After walking around like a couple of lost souls, we found a tidy corner in the back of the bar and got a good view of the dancers. The notoriously Blondie approached us and said "We like Asians here!" YAY! Then, someone paid her $20 for a lapdance. She proceeded to slap a guy with her boobies seductively.
I think this place is pretty fun and unique. The dancers are really friendly and the place is pretty lively.
Oh yea, you might want to come around midnight or earlier or face a wait because the place is pretty small and gets packed.
The Clermont? Yeah, thats not much more that can be said. I have two Blondie beer cans. Well worth the 10 dollars.
Tuesday night is Karaoke night. I totally karaoked with one of the umm..dancers...lets just say that was interesting.
There are some places where the normal laws of the world no longer apply. Some places transcend time and space and throw physics and indeed common sense out the window. The Clermont Lounge is such a place.
It is always interesting to learn how people hear about the Clermont. I would assume most people hear about it from word of mouth or from going to organized events like this last weekend. There are always those that actually stayed at the Clermont Hotel and happened to go to the basement to see what was going on. Those people are probably best avoided.
At some point they raised their price to $10 which seems a little high. I guess that is just a sign of the condition Social Security is in. At least the drinks are cheap.
So you may ask yourself, what is the Clermont? Well imagine a place like the Cheetah, which is a strip club in Atlanta. Now imagine taking the people that worked at the Cheetah and hiring them in the same profession about thirty or forty years later. THAT is the Clermont: where strippers go to die.
It is well hidden in the basement of the hotel and you have to enter in the back, which is an appropriate analogy. It was actually very very crowded when we went too. Inside is a full bar with a stage inside. I guess they need a barrier to protect the girls from something. There are always a couple guys really really into it too. They are either sitting there smoking with one hand under the counter or getting a lap dance, or as I like to say, preventing the stripper from falling down with your lap.
The girls: Girls may be an inappropriate word to use here. Seasoned citizens might be more accurate. This might be the cellulite capital of the world, and they are not afraid to show it off. Some of the girls have on some interesting outfits, one of which looked like Dorothy's blue dress from The Wizard of Oz. A warning to those of you thinking of going: there are some things in life that cannot be unseen. Maybe not as bad as Tubgirl, but close.
The rest of the place is okay, they have a dance floor where you can get away from the show and forget what you just saw. The bathrooms are very weird with the guys having a giant shared urinal basin and one stall with no door. I heard the girl's has curtains instead of doors. They also do not allow any cameras and are very strict about it. I am guessing it is more about protecting your camera than anything else and they just do not want to have to buy you a new one when it breaks.
If you go here sober you will regret it, and if I go again I will be wearing more layers of clothes, perhaps a HazMat suit.
What the what!?
I actually had the amazing experience of going to this place completely in the dark about what it was all about. Someone local in the group just made the decision and so off we went. You mean, this bar, right here, that is next to this sketchfest motel? Ok! Flash the license, head in the door... and BAZOOM!
Go with a sense of humor and leave your timidness at the door. Drink a lot, have fun, and swear on Jimmy Carter that you will never get old.
I can't say that I'd frequent this spot due to the crowding and the smoking inside, but it's certainly a fine Atlanta institution that deserves to be experienced at least once by anyone. They say that the Clermont is where old strippers go to die, but considering how great some of those strippers are looking, I'd have to say they aren't going anywhere anytime soon. For a business that doesn't serve food, they sure do give a lot of peaches and cream! You can also watch Blondie perform her infamous trick of smashing PBR cans with her boobs for a price - and oddly enough, it's well worth it to pay for the show.
If you're going to go, I'd honestly recommend not going on a Friday or Saturday night. They charge to get in, it's over-crowded, and you'll rarely see anything through the smoky haze in the room. Try a Monday night if you want the whole experience. Just remember that this place is 21+, so sorry to those of you who don't yet qualify for this eye-opening experience! Also, no photos! This includes keeping phones equipped with cameras out of sight - it'd be a little shameful to be arrested at the Clermont for taking photos, wouldn't it? Your friends would certainly wonder about your taste in women...
A must do! It's becoming too much of a hipster hangout, so it's lost a bit of it's edge. But, doesn't really matter. The drinks are cheap. The "dancers" add an uncertainty to the evening. A words of warning: It is a smokefest inside, and poorly ventilated. Dress/breathe accordingly.
A must for friends from out of town.
WARNING REVIEW RATED R
OMG lol how did I ever end up here to be able to give The Clermont a review. Somehow, my friends talked me into going to their "last" night in business which wasn't really true. However, I abide and I can't decide if it was the best night of my life or by far the worst. I have to review this place because it's a beverage place so I have a reason to lol.
As I walk into the entrance of The Clermont, I looked towards the bar to see the best entry to get a drink quickly as it was really crowded and it was only a Tuesday night. However, to my disgust, there was a naked pot bellied woman on stage dancing with her legs wide apart. PUKE
It was rather interesting because they had karaoke and adult entertainment (is that the correct choice of word?) going on at the same time. I didn't get a chance to get a drink when my friend ended up bringing me a kamikaze shot with a can of PBR lol. And so the night starts. PBR?!?!!? Oh well, it started to do its job.
As I looked around, the crowd was interesting. There were all types of people there but the worst of all were the old and novelty strippers walking around flaunting their extra amount of cellulite. PUKE
The night continued with me drinking gourmet PBRs out of a can when we finally got a table that sat all of us. After we sat down, we started talking to each other when some guy approached me and asked me if I had a f*cking problem. HAHAHAHA, too bad they didn't have glass bottled beers (I'm not implying anything). Later on that night, one of his buddies tried to steal one of my friend's purse. We got it back and he said, "my bad" lol but we weren't there to get into a fight. What a crowd.
So going on, my friends that I hadn't seen in months decided that it would be funny to buy me a lap dance from the infamous can crushing breast Blondie. OMG. I didn't even realize they did it until it was too late. I tried to pull a ninja move to run away but she was bigger than me and I was quickly knocked back down in my chair. Here is where I began to poop my pants because if you haven't met Blondie, she's this big scary (pardon me) black woman with bleach blonde hair and a lot of extra weight.
Before she begins, she takes her towel/shirt/bra/whatever it was and lifted her breast and wiped off the sweat. PUKE I didn't know what to expect so I was scurred. She comes up with one breast in each hand and just starts to beat the crap out of me with them. Thank GOD I managed to keep her off my lap. After a few seconds of being hit by golf balls filled breast I told her to move onto one of my friends and she starts beating on him and of course I had her beat the guy who bought me the "dance" as well. After she was done crushing our faces with her rocks she picks up an empty beer can and crushes it with her breasts and autographs it for me. I didn't know if it was safe to touch or not but I kept it.
After about five minutes of being face crushed, all of our faces started to itch and burn. I think we caught the herpasiphilidagonerrialaps from her. My face continued to burn the next day!
Anyway, we stayed there until about 4 in the morning. When I got home, I used a whole bottle of AXE soap to try to rid myself of the smell with no success. Okay, I don't even see where I am going with this review.
But I gave this place 3 stars because it gives me really fun memories but at the same time I now have nightmares. It is a must go! lol
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Last Sunday a plan hatched. One of those plans that gets devised after one too many vodka tonics. The Clermont Lounge had been the topic of a few late night conversations between our little group. I was regaled with stories of legendary strippers with names like Blondie, Peekaboo Porsche, and My Little Pony. Their talents ranging from crushing beer cans betwixt flapping titays, flashing a bit of kitty (while clad in a Little Red Riding Hood outfit), to slapping a bit of thigh, bottom and kitty so hard that a resounding "clap" would echo throughout the establishment. Cuckoo indeed! I howled at these stories, these horror stories of old (50-60), overweight strippers dancing for a diverse crowd of patrons. The buzz that night during our conversation was that this landmark venue was going to be torn down in the near future. My companions decided it was imperative that I see it before that occurred. Once they found out I had never even been to a strip club, it was a done deal. They felt obligated to be a part of my first Clermont experience.
We sat and formulated the plan. We would go on the following Saturday night. I would be going to this legendary strip club with seven of the most Fabulous men I knew. Not a bad way to pop my strip club cherry.
On the drive up I was being "warned" left and right in what to expect. Some of my companions could hardly contain themselves, eager to see my reaction upon entering. I kept being prodded to hurry up and come inside. Sadly there are no cameras allowed inside. I did manage to get a photo before entering the club.
After paying the $6 cover charge and entering I could not stop laughing or tear my eyes away from the performers. It was like watching a gag reel with the clear emphasis on "gag". All the star performers were there and I was sitting ringside drinking beer from a can while others downed potent drinks only costing $3! Quite the juxtaposition from moments ago from the lavish restaurant we had just come from!
While my boys kept encouraging me to tip the ladies, I found there are somethings this girl simply could not, nor would not do! An hour of said amusement went by and departed the Clermont. I had seen the line up perform all there tricks. From the beer can crushing to the awkward high leg kicks, my eyes will never be the same.There was absolutely no one I would have rather experienced it with than the delightful group of men I came with.
Would I go back? You bet your pasties I would.
I have seen Blondie crush a beer can with her boobs and received a lap dance from Portia.
After traveling abroad, living in the nation's capital, feeling the love of family and friends, graduating from college, and winning the spelling bee in 4th grade; at nearly 25 years old I can now say that my life is complete.
Does your city have an institution? You know, a place where you absolutely must take all out of… Read more »
What can I say that has not already been said about the Clermont? Rumor has it Charles Bukowski once was a patron I am not sure if it's true, but this place has Buk written all over it. Where else can you see your husband and his friend get their face flogged with beer crushing tatas, all while being called a "cracker a$% M*&^%$ F%$#&*? " Where else can you see "unconventional" dancers who don't care what you think shimmy on the back of the bar to Warrant from the jukebox? If you are into dive bars, this is the ultimate. .
There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man.
It is a dimension as vast as space and timeless as infinity.
It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition.
It lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge.
This is the dimension of imagination...
It is an area we call the Clermont Lounge.
Doodie, Doodie... Doodie Doodie...
I couldn't pass up the chance to write a review on the historical Clermont Lounge. It has a history that speaks for itself really. Once you walk into the doors of this establishment you're pretty much changed forever. You'll learn those really tough lessons in life like don't order the mixed drinks since...well having an open cup means as the bartender prepares your drink something might just, well, um drip into it. Also you'll learn how to pee in front of an audience since all it takes is a slight wind draft to blow the curtain enough for all the world to watch your mad squatting skills.
Ah, but I love this place. How could I not give it 4 stars or really more. I have never walked in and not had an unforgettable evening. I've danced for hours. I've talked to people from all over the world that just had to come to the Clermont Lounge when visiting.
I put this place on the top 3 must see locations when visiting Atlanta.
So, here's the thing....
PBR's for 2.50.
A pocket full of dollar bills.
Blondie and her magic beer crushing titays.
Pink backing it up to monster hip hop jams from the 90's.
George T. and Kathleen M. getting masterful lap dances from senior citizens.
The glow of neon.
Best going away shindig of all time.
Hands down.
We all pass judgment, we all joke and laugh. I just think it is hilarious, that I hear the same phrase pass each woman's lips. "I could do that".
Come in early and grab a seat at the bar. They are the best seats in the house, after all. Not only will you have front row seats to the dancers, but you also have first hand access to inexpensive drinks and a sassy bartender.
I have been here on two separate occasions and I am not going to lie. It is raw, dirty and gritty. Where else would you put up with a naked woman dangling her junk over your drink, while she reaches for waving dollars?
There are two things that come to mind from my first visit. The first, being the fact that the toilet in the restroom is privatized by a curtain. I had been drinking and confused by the curtain and found myself yanking open the curtain, only to expose some poor unsuspecting woman relieving herself. I am only thankful it was not Angela Y., after she dropped her Blackberry in the toilet. I doubt I would have lived to tell the tale!
The second thing that comes to mind was the overwhelming feeling of guilt over the giggles and laughter that exuded from me, as I sat at the bar with friends and waved dollar bills at the dancers. I had fun at the time, but driving home I just felt really awful for laughing at the women that danced.
The second time I came to The Clermont, I found that not only had a door been added to the toilet, but I also had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Portia in the loo. She was laughing and running her hands through her mound of cash, as we chatted. It was a surreal sight, seeing a woman (reportedly) in her 60's, dressed in a Little Bo Peep costume, false lashes and kinky, platinum hair.
She was a delight to speak with and I realized that my first impression had been incorrect. These women were not something to be pitied, but were fun-loving women making a good buck. I may have been laughing it up at the bar, but I am pretty sure Ms. Portia was laughing all the way to the bank.
I'm not quite sure what I can write that's not already been written before, nor do I claim to be nearly articulate enough to have the words to fully express the experience at the Clermont Lounge.
Really, it's everyone on Ponce, hookers, crack heads, college kids, grandmas, deciding to all meet under one roof in love and harmony.
Blondie was doing her thing and the crowd was loud and rowdy. Several other nameless gals were also plying their trade, and we were lucky(?) enough to experience a lap dance inches away from us, given to the gentleman sitting at the table beside us. We had the pleasure of seeing her crush *my* PBR can between her ample butt cheeks.
The shirtless DJ was bangin', leaving his booth every song to come down to affectionately gyrate and thrust his crotch at random patrons.
The PBRs were "aflowin'" and a good time was had by all.
You can't go home again.
For most of my adult life, the Clermont was... not a well-kept secret, but a sort of talisman or charm that could be used to ward away the unwary. It was like admission into a secret society - you'd been THERE and you'd seen BLONDIE and the BEER CANS and oh my god it was the awesomest/weirdest/craziest place you'd ever been. And that's how it worked for a long time. You go down into the Stygian depths, drink the foul PBR swill, and wait for Chuck Norris to drive a pickup truck through the wall and start whipping asses - it was that kind of place.
But like I said, you can't go home again. I took an out-of-town friend by just to show the place off, Initiate him into the Mysteries, if you will. There was a concert going on. At the Clermont. Some awful hipster band playing ironic covers of Lady Gaga while Emory kids flopped and jerked in what I presumed was enjoyment. The hell is wrong with you kids? You come to the Clermont to see women of ...let's say unconventional beauty standards doing their thing. You come for a massive dose of vintage sleaze, not for some herky jerky irony-mongering indie rock garbage. First they had dance night, then they added karaoke, and the indie rock shows are kind of the final straw - the Clermont isn't really a sketchy-ass dive bar anymore, it's a groteque lurching self-parody of itself. There's no sense of danger or even really of transgressiveness - how can you be awed by Portia's unique talents when there's some spastic mustached jerkwad on the other side of the room drowning everything out with his awfulness? It feels like it's stopped being about screwed-up weird insanity and now it's just MJQ with ironic sagging breasts.
I don't know when it happened, but either the Clermont got old and fat and boring, or I did. Ten years ago, the Clermont was an easy five and a must-see. Now? It's a three-and-a-half, less on any given theme night. I guess that's the problem - I got old, but the dumbass college kids stayed the same age. It's no longer the kind of bar that 1986 Chuck Norris would break into and fight crooks, it's the kind of bar that 2009 Chuck Norris would go into as the guest of honor at a 80s Nostalgia Kitsch Festival. This is not my beautiful Clermont Lounge, this is Clermont™-Brand Novelty Dive Bar Experience Product. Enjoy it in good health!
You can't go home again.
Our first night in Atlanta, I went to the Clermont Lounge with my girlfriend and her friend, both of them from Atlanta but all of us new to Clermont. We went in not knowing what to expect...
Diversification is living large in the Clermont lounge, in all ways. This looks like a dive bar, but it's selling t-shirts and hats. In one part of the bar, a skinny blonde girl is karaoke-ing Erykah Badu-- and she was Calling Tyrone unexpectedly well. The black guy that took the stage after her sang a country/blues song with decent twang. In the other part of the bar, behind the long, curving counter, a stripper is dancing bravely along to whatever the karaoke singers decide to put on.
I've never been to a strip club, and you don't need to be comfortable in a strip club environment to be comfortable here. Definitely not.
The well drinks are 3.25 and the bartenders are friendly, or smart-ass in a friendly way. If I spent every night for the rest of this trip in the Clermont Lounge, I wouldn't feel I missed out on a thing.
Ladies, Clermont is not only the place to go with your out-of-town friends, but it's great for an ego boost. I got instant serving of confidence after seeing these 60 + women dancing around naked as if their bodies haven't dropped ten inches. Thank you old gals!
Go there if you don't mind smelling like a Camel Ciggy when you leave or you if can ignore the fact that your feet will stick to the floor. The cheap drinks and laughs are worth the grime. Yes!
I saw things I should have never seen and probably will never see again within my lifetime.... a 60 year old grandmothers dressed up like storybook characters flashing her 60 year old stuff will forever be etched into my mind .(and not in a good way!!) Bouncing implants galore,a vintage dressed Dita Von Teese look a like tipping the "dancers" with excitement, and I even got a few one's shoved down my top from a dancer adorned with glow in the dark finger nails! Trust me you will find every type of person here enjoying the delightfully disturbing gyrating antics that take place right over the bar by the way! ( is that hygienic?)
Lap dances and PBR's made their rounds to our group of yelpers that night,and perhaps maybe one too many for me and a fellow yelper who were some of the last of our group to leave. I don't recall much after I stumbled back to my car...but maybe that's a good thing!
Kid Rock has visited it. Bubba Sparxx wrote a song about it. Yelpers can't help but mention it every thread post. At this point, I am sure you have heard about this Clermont Lounge.
I will give you the full rundown because I visit every other day. Some things you have heard are true and some aren't. I drive all the way from OTP on my lunch break to visit.
Is this a strip-club? Is this a strip-club where older strippers go to retire?
Well, I don't like the term strip club. It implies some dark, nasty, wooden laden shack on the side of some Texas highway. Clermont Lounge is mostly a bar and every so often women dance topless, clothed and sometimes full nude. There is actually two dance areas, the bar dance area gets used the most. It actually is situated on this large circle bar area. Imagine a large bar with about 20 seats situated around it. The bartenders are nice older ladies that love to server PBR in a can.
The dancers can be older or not. I hear mention of Blondie, older black lady that likes to dress up like Tina Turner. She is a favorite. I don't see her work that often because I think she works the more prime time hours (Late night, Sats?). The others seems to make more rounds. Portia is an older (60+) lady that dresses like Dorthy from the Wizard of Oz. If you think that is something that will turn you on. Let's just say if it does, you are a sad soul. There are some other younger offerings. My Little Pony is a full tattooed dancer that is around 30 years old. Give or take 10 years in the upward direction. And they have other younger women that may make an appearance. There is one young girl, I can't remember the name. She is on the pudgy side, but it was very American, very normal. She would have certainly been turned away from working at Oasis but we are human beings and just like the site of flesh, we aren't so picky as to turn our eyes away. So, there is a chance that you will see women that are younger than 50.
You see all kinds of patrons at the Clermont. Black, white, young, old, poor, Emory student rich, male and female. Because there is only that bar area, it can be crowded. This isn't like a dance club or any other club where you have a large spacious environment or patios.
This place is pretty surreal. They blared heavy metal, slung dirty cheap beer from behind a filthy counter whilst an assortment of entertainers danced on the stage. When I was here they had one dancer that I'm pretty sure was a she-male, another that was an art student with hairy legs and hairy pitts, another that was straight out of Gummo, and the final that was I swear the girl from Welcome to the Dollhouse. Anyway, the next time I'm in Atlanta I'm going back.
Supposedly there's also a hotel upstairs, Christ himself couldn't make me spend a night there.
Alright, this place is NOTHING like the Pink Pony.. BUT definitely a "Must-See."
There sure are plenty of great reviews on the Clermont already.. but I need to add a little something.
The first time I went to the Clermont, I was with 2 friends. One who had not been there, like I, and the other who had been there.
Since we were Clermont-virgins, our friend who had been there bought us a lap dance from Porsche (I don't think she gets the credit she deserves, being outshined by Blondie all the time). Porsche started out with some conversation.. she told us about her grandkids and mentioned "I'm the oldest gal here! I just turned 60 last month."
So, Porsche gave us a lap dance.. and there are just not enough words in the English language to appropriately describe those few moments.
Porsche was wearing a "Little Red Riding Hood" outfit which conveniently had elastic around the neck - for easy flashing - which Porsche took advantage of. Then she lifted up her skirt and said "Look at my peach cobbler, all you need is a spoon and some ice cream!"
(I am 100% serious.. not exaggerating.)
Anyway.. Porsche is forever ingrained in my mind and I have a great story for the rest of my life. Definitely a good time.. and I've been back several times since then! No more lap dances for me, though ;)
In addition, I've seen Blondie, who of course crushes beer cans with her boobies.. and I've seen another young lady who will light your cigarette with her nipple.. seriously.
In addition to the group of lovely ladies at the Clermont, there is karaoke occasionally.. and of course a full bar. The Clermont Lounge is located at the bottom of the Clermont Hotel, in the back. You have to take a big set of stairs to get down there.. I'm not sure if there's any other way.
During the week, there is not always a cover, but on the weekends, there is a good chance you will have to pay $5 or $10 to get in.
I try to take all my out-of-towners to Clermont because it's sure to provide some great memories..
The Clermont is fun for a one time visit or to traumatize out-of-towners. It's an Atlanta must-see and "where strippers go to die." If you go on the weekend then you will most likely find a huge crowd of young people shelling out cash to the lovely women of the Clermont. It's funny and depressing at the same time, but definitely unique!
Memories from my last trip to the Clermont:
Extremely inebriated couple sits next to me. They fight. He accidently gives one of the dancers a $100 bill. He falls out of his barstool and can't get up. For several minutes. She asks me to make out with her...
A graphic performance piece is forever carved into my brain. Everytime I close my eyes...
A friend from out of town who came with us practically begs us to leave. I tried to tell him...
So, yes, visit the Clermont at least once. It's completely offensive and I can't believe I have been more than once, but it's never a boring time.
I have been here a couple of times; both times I believe I was a little drunk.
This is a great place for a fun loving group.
I will admit I was a little hesitant in wanting to come here. I am very glad that I did.
And yes I have seen the infamous Nanner Pudding!
Drink PBRs when you are here.
Cheap cover charge.
Bring cash.
Bring sanitation soap.
Bring your best friends who have never been.
The Clermont is NASTY, but it's an Atlanta institution. You have to go there at least once. My college friends and I always referred to it as "the place where old strippers go to die". In a city known for its insane number of strip clubs, the old dancers have to go SOMEWHERE. If you want conventionally attractive dancers, go to the Pink Pony. If you want dancers that are even remotely fit or young and have the ability to, well, dance, then go anywhere but here. If you want fun and an authentic "Dirty South" experience, then go here at least once.
Of course, the most well-known dancer at the Clermont is Blondie. In case you have never heard of her, she's old, she's large, and she is In Charge. She is known for crushing beer cans with her boobs (with a resounding CRUNCH!), but she will also slap you with her sweater kittens if you do anything to make her unhappy. My friend's boyfriend once got a bloody nose from a Blondie Slap.
It's been a long time since I've been to the Clermont any night but Saturday... back in the day that was the only night that most of the more "mainstream" Atlantans would show up there. On Saturdays, expect an astounding mix of people from Emory fratboys and sorority girls to hipsters and everything in between. DJ Romeo Cologne (of Star Bar fame) spins funk and it's a lot of fun. It's hot as heck in there no matter what the time of year, and you may have to wait in line for a while to get inside.
It's worth it, at least once. But it's nothing like your average bar. Oh, and the mixed drinks can kill you (strong and made with the cheapest liquor in existence), and they only take cash. So don't say I didn't warn you.
This is the the place to be! I always have a good time here.This is the must see place when you come to Atlanta.The beer is cold and cheap! The women are big here. Be careful if you get a lap dance.I've been coming here for 13 years.Every time is a new and exciting adventure.
I have lived in the ATL for 11 years and never been to the Clermont. Now, thanks to my fellow Yelpers, that wrong has been righted. Where to start....okay walking down several wooden steps and around the back of the building where you are greeted by what could be described as biker/punk types who check your ID and collect your cover charge was in keeping with my initial expectations. And when we entered, it was everything I had been told - divey, dingy, and a blast. We were there in time to capture seats at the bar and well, let's just say the next few hours were enlightening. (Did I just use the word "enlightening" to describe my experience?) As Angela said, "the economy is poor and we must support our seniors".
There was a diverse crowd and as the night went on more and more people piled in. I would never have thought this was a "go to" place to hang out, drink and dance aside from the "live entertainment".
Although I tried to hold out going to the bathroom, too many beers had been pounded and I had to acquiesce. Yikes, totally did not want to touch anything and it was left to the imagination what follies go on in there. Ending on that note, I can now proudly declare I have been to the Clermont Lounge.
I am an expert on Camp. Why? Because I am from Baltimore. There is a reason that John Waters films there. Hell, I've run into Mr Waters in Fell's Point and Tracy Turnblad's house in the movie Hairspray was literally a block away from where I went to grade school. (I'm talking about the ORIGINAL movie now, kiddies - not the musical... filmed in Canada?!! What an insult to Charm City... but I digress)
I had no idea really what to expect from the Clermont. I'd heard some things, but was still pretty cloudy about it. So when I finally entered the place I was pretty shocked.
Not in a bad way though. Shocked because I had never been to a place like that ever before. It's kind of like... if a Baltimore Club, and a John Waters movie made sweet, dirty love and had a baby... then that baby crawled into a basement and unexpectedly exploded... yup, you'd have the Clermont.
After having written that sentence, I can see why some people do not and will not enjoy the Clermont. Some people think they have a sense of humor, but they are too timid to actually experience humor. And I'm not talking about going to a comedy club (which, for what they are, are awesome); I'm talking about finding humor in not only the mundane, but also the absurd, the extravagant, the visceral, and the dichotomy of reality and pseudo-fiction. Dig? The Clermont is an education in humor.
I'm hesitant to actually write about the contents of the Clermont, simply because I don't want to spoil the surprise. I went on a Saturday night, prime time. Sufficed to say that there is an amazing mix of people there, and EVERYONE is there to have a blast. Music (DJ was spinning when I was there, and actually for an older white dude, could mix one song into another without throwing off the beat... impressive), dancing (guys, there are a good amount of attractive ladies there as customers), and the hilarious other things that I'll let you discover for yourself.
I'm not one to label places "a must see at least once". But I guess I just did.
Without question one of Atlanta's landmark drinking and entertainment spots. But, like the movie Gremlins, there are three things you must never do here:
1. Never come sober.
2. Never drink anything here other than PBR
3. Whatever you do - never come here on a Friday or Saturday night.
Here are my 3 favorite Clermont stories:
1. First time I was here, my buddy fell asleep in a chair. Blondie ( and Christ, this was about 12 years ago) did not like this and approached him. She took one of her large pendulous breasts and slapped him on one side of his face with it. He stirred. Then she took her other breast and slapped him on the other side of the face with it. He shook his head and was awake. Then she uttered the immortal phrase " that'll be a dollar please"
2. Sometimes I have been there and I a see a bunch of corporate types in for a bit of alternative entertainment, and I sneer at them under my breath from my perch right at the apex of the U of the bar. Then I remember the night I brought about 25 corporate types in from a training class I was running. Very interesting. Half of them thought that it was magnificent, authentic, original and fun and enjoyed it. The other half hated my guts for years afterwards because they don't get out much and this one night was their only chance to see some naked females and they wanted to go to the Gold Club or Cheetah 3.
3. Another buddy was leaving the bar when he was approached by a clean cut, polo wearing chinos wearing frat type who immediately asked him: "Hey - would you like a BJ?"
"sure " my friend said " but from who"
"From me of course"
I love that story, but my buddy was less than amused.
Go there and savor it and dine out on the stories all around you there.
PS Yes - the only strip club my wife allows me to go to
PPS - the only strip club she has been to herself- and it was my brother who took her there....
WOW! what can i say about the infamous Clermont Lounge. everyone pays 3 bucks to get it-including the strippers...no seriously, they gotta pay too. you get drunk on cheap PBRs and watch fat, gelatinous women with stretch marks and bullet wounds and grannies skip around naked. Then you have the famous Blondie, crushing beer cans with her boobs. If you want a lap dance, you must pay $20...but seriously, would you really want a lap dance from what I've just described? I love going because the dancers teach me moves :-)
This place is hilarious. As the yelpers say its a great place to take an out of towner for the shock value alone.
Only night I frequent this place is for karaoke every once and a while which happens on Tuesdays.
It used to be pretty low key but the last few times we have been its been packed. I guess the popularity is spilling over from the weekends.
If you haven't been here, what are you waiting for. If anything you will have a good story to tell your friends about what you saw, which usually cant be unseen.
Ah, the Clermont Lounge. Legendary, and it should be. It's the sort of place that I'm embarrassed to tell friends about (and the number of times I've been), and yet I HAVE to take visitors there...it's just such an Atlanta landmark.
The scene? Strippers. Well-aged strippers - some have worked there since before I was born. Most seem very nice, and most have a good sense of humor. I mean, you kind of have to when you're 55 and dancing in front of a mirror and hanging onto a pole. There are a few 20 somethings who dance as well, but somehow, they're not as amusing to watch.
And then...there's Blondie. The woman crushes beer cans between her bosom, what more is there to say? If you get a chance to actually have a conversation with her, do so - - she's an intelligent and interesting woman.
Be prepared for smoke, cheap, strong drinks, and a whole lot of shakin' of everything going on. Always a good time.
They have a door on the women's bathroom - never thought progress would ever hit Clermont Lounge - I like to get my buzz on over at The Local and then head over to Clermont to dance - don't wear much clothes cuz it gets pretty hot over there on Saturday nights and pee before you go - only one stall ladies and we have to share it with the strippers. Smooches
They don't accept credit cards though - the top review is wrong.
Oh, lawdy, where do I begin? What do you say about an infamous, oldest-running, saggy lady abounds kind of ATL strip club? You just take your hat off, put your hand on your chest, and (tears streaming down your face) say the Pledge of Allegiance. And God Bless America!
It was my first night in the city and my friend was on a mission to introduce me to Hotlanta in the dirtiest, stickiest way possible. She scored. The place had a mixed clientele: bros, fratties, rockabilly, kinky older couples, and gawking out-of-towners such as myself.
My favorite part of the Clermont has to be the woman's one toilet...and that toilet being separated by a dinky curtain. No door. And the line for the bathroom is also the dressing room for the dancers. Hello, long line...hello, conversation with dancers while they change! I met some nice ladies, and they told me how there were no bouncers and their manager is shitty and people throw quarters at them. It made me sad. This ladies need to be treated better! And they need their own dressing room.
Such is the Clermont Story. The U-shaped, blacklight bar is flattering for those women "of a certain age." I say more power to 'em! My friend bought a lap dance from a 62-year-old Little Red Riding Hood. She looked like Paula Deen's older sister with a sandblast of makeup and fake lashes. Mad props, my friends. Mad props. Also keep an eye out for the Mother/Daughter duo.
The drinks are cheap and strong. And you get shots in a Dixie Cup! What more can I say? The best people-watching to be had. But bring your dollah bills--these ladies deserve them.
Let me explain...
I give the Clermont 4 stars because I was not disappointed. The Clermont lived up to it's reputation and everything I thought I was going to get, I received that and then some.
My first strip club experience and man was it an experience.
The outside looks shabby and run down and the inside does not disappoint. The interior is just as dusty and dingy as it's exterior.
If I was grading on what I saw once I entered the hot, musty doors of the Clermont, I would have to roll over into the negatives. Although the lap dance I witness was good entertainment, it was also gross on so many levels, =( I saw WAY too much of some the women there, and honestly stripping passed a certain age should be illegal.
I give the Clermont 4 stars because I had a great time (once I dug out my eyes, and remembered that I have a mind eraser at home), if you haven't experienced it yet, you definitely should...but honestly I'll never go again.
OMG how in the world have I recommended this place on yelp a ZILLION times and not written a review for it? Really?
I love this place. Saturday is my favorite. DJ Romeo Cologne (a.k.a. Star Bar on Tuesdays) spins funkadelic funkyness for all to enjoy. It's so hot in there you'll need to peel your clothes off of you after the place closes-but you'll be glad.
Blondie is stil there. They still only take cash. If you're nice to the door guys and the bartenders they'll be nice to you.
Holy Moly this place is as good as it gets for dive bars! The person who took me here- an Atlanta native described it as where strippers go to die and I think that was quite accurate. The best part is that it isn't the typical dive bar crowd. OK that isn't the best part- there are sooo many good parts. The crowd is not the group you would expect to see at a geriatric strip club. Generally a clean group with a few crazies mixed in for fun. The drinks are pretty cheap and I loved the delusional old stripper who really thought she was Lil'Kim. I gave her 5 bucks to do the ultimate party trick- which I will not mention here.
Everything you've heard about The Clermont (a go-go dancers' graveyard, the bar where strippers go to die) is true and yet still inadequate. It all became (embarrassingly) secondhand to me years ago, but I still remember my first visit. For you L.A. Yelpers, it was an experience replicated the first and only visit I had to Jumbo's Clown Room.
It's in the basement of the Clermont Motel and there is wood paneling on the wall disturbingly like your parents' basement. The drinks are cheap, the women are cheaper. Indeed, if arousal means the occasional C-section scar, you're in the right place.
Possibly apocryphal, Dave Attell, comedian and former host of The Comedy Central show "Insomniac" was once asked during an interview "Where the best place in America to be drunk?" His answer? "The Clermont Lounge." When asked, "Where's the worst place to be sober?" he answered, "The Clermont Lounge." This bar routinely shows up in men's and lad mags' "Best Bars in America" lists.
Blondie is there most nights (though as she gets older, she's been taking more time off) and for a $5 fee, she will do the beer can thing. For more money, she will give you a lap dance where she pummels you with her breasts. It is not a pleasant experience. Alas, I know now I've piqued some person's curiosity out there, in much the same way a person will voluntarily smell sour milk after you've just exclaimed, "SWEET JESUS, I think the milk went bad!!" For those of you, make sure to compliment Blondie on her poetry (yes, she's a recognized poet) or better yet, buy her a Jaeger shot. Maybe she'll take it easy on you and you won't walk away looking like you've spent the night with Ike Turner.
The jukebox is not there for you to use. It's for the dancers. That's why many of them carry spare change in a fanny pack they wear even while on stage in an attempt to mingle the practical with the erotic, much like imagining Martha Stewart in a thong.
There is one toilet and a trough in the men's room. If you must #2, may God have mercy on your eternal soul. Not only is there no stall door (or stall for that matter) I don't seem to remember much in the way of a toilet seat either.
If you go in the summer, the temperature will be somewhere between "unbearably hot" and "ditchdigger's ass." Dress accordingly.
Final instructions: step in and enjoy, but keep moving. If you block the doorway, the doorman will yell at you. Cameras are verboten (and really, some memories aren't meant to be re-lived.) Yes, the dancers have AARP memberships. Don't be a douche bag though. The dancers have feelings too.
With Romeo Cologne and his traveling disco/funk show, Saturdays are the preferred night to go for most. I think of it as amateur hour, when all the OTPers invade to gawk and be able to tell their co-workers they've been. But it's one thing to go on a Saturday night; it's a whole other thing to go on a Wednesday afternoon. That said, even I'VE had fun dancing there on a Saturday.
Now that you're prepared, the wonders of the Clermont beckon. Go forth and enjoy....ish. However, take the time to cherish the Clermont as the last of a dying breed. Unapologetically, almost celebratory in its diveyness, places like this are fewer and farther between. So fight on, Clermont Lounge! Rage against the dying of that gentrifying light! Stay around to frighten a whole new generation of young boys into manhood. For as long as you do, you'll always have a place in my heart.
Atlanta, GA
Category: Local Flavor
Neighborhood: Midtown
Category: Adult Entertainment
Neighborhood: Downtown
Category: Adult Entertainment
Atlanta, GA
Category: Adult Entertainment
Atlanta, GA
Category: Adult Entertainment
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