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Belmont (Purple Express, Brown, Red)
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I think this place has gone downhill since they expanded. Why, in my day, they didn't serve mixed drinks, and the service was faster! We walked to school barefoot through the snow! etc. etc.
Seriously, though, I don't go here very much anymore because I hate waiting fifteen minutes for a table, ten minutes for the server to show up, twenty-five minutes for an order of potatoes, ten minutes for a refill, and however long for the check. I really got spoiled by the awesome staff that was there six or seven years ago. It isn't really the fault of the people who work there, all the time--as a former waitress I know there's no good way to work eight tables at once. Being understaffed is a management issue. Maybe it's changed since I was there last, a few months ago, but for now, I only go back for the North Shore potatoes since Pick Me Up is a quick walk away and almost never has a line to be seated.
Funny story: several years ago I was sitting by the window and saw a huge rat outside. I thought it was a dog at first, and it looked like it was trying to steal a bicycle.
People thought this was:
More like Barfe's.
You might find a hair in your food, you might find a piece of plastic in your water...but you'll definitely find terrible service and crappy food.
I live a block away and drink heavily on the weekends, but I still can't bring myself to go in anymore.
Standard diner fare.
City's BEST people watching.
(That "she" is a "he")
People thought this was:
Oh Clarke's...how I wish things between us would've never changed but like most things in life they did and I can't say I'm sorry for leaving you a drunken, slutty mess.
Like most, I've had my good and bad times here. When I think about it though, most of the good weren't because of the service but because of the people I was there with. The bottom line is that thier wait staff is horrible. The food is sub-par and the utensils? Don't even get me started on how dirty they are. Why do I come back? Nostalgia, but over the years I see myself here less and less.
One time, like most times here, I had bad service and there was a hair in my turkey burger so guess what? I didn't leave a tip. My waitress walked up to the table we had just vacated and lifted every plate and napkin to look for a nonexistent tip. She then followed us outside and gave us hell over it. She said I gave you my undivided attention and you didn't leave me anything? Her attention was far from acceptable and everytime we needed something we had to ask the busboy so guess who was handed a tip? She then went on to say that we should go to a fast food joints so we wouldn't have a chance to stiff the waitress. hahaha Note taken.
Looking for a quick dinner on Saturday I wandered into Clarke's at about 7pm. My friend and I stood with a group of three people who had come in before us. Clarke's wasn't very busy, but it still took awhile for the hostess to come to the front to seat us. She asked them how many people were in the party in front of us, seated them, walked away, and never came back. We waited about ten minutes, and left. Seriously Clarke's, it's not 2am, you can't treat people like that yet.
People thought this was:
This place is just OK overall. No complaints about the food (it's hard to mess up pancakes and waffles) but as others have noticed the service is... glacial. Also, be warned that the lock in the men's bathroom is broken. It looks like part of the door was eaten by a small animal so there's no way to secure it. It's one of those with a urinal and a toilet and the toilet is pretty far away from the door so that can be problematic. If forced to use the toilet, probably best to talk to yourself constantly in a loud voice or cough often so nobody comes in.
People thought this was:
I don't care what anyone says, I like this place.
I think the food here is pretty good...I love that it's open 24hrs and b/c I have such a soft spot for diners I can't possibly hate this place no matter how slow the service is...if you're in good company, who cares?
Okay. So Clarke's gets major points for being on a cool side of town, having a vegetarian friendly menu, and being a fun place to hang. On the other hand, with a cool side of town comes annoyingly drunk folk, overpriced food, stressed out servers, and music loud enough you can't talk over it. Eh. It is what it is.
Clarke's is a good place to grab a bit when I'm on the other side of town late at night, which appears to be fairly often. The food is hit or miss. I had the nachos two days apart and one day it was awesome, the other it sucked. They ran out of guac and forgot to put the veggie chili on it, etc., etc. so I think it depends on the night. Clarke's is about on par for the area, but prices are cheaper in Ukrainian Village at night. Oh well, maybe I should stop partying in Boystown, then, right?
People thought this was:
It's 1 o'clock in the morning, it's cold and raining and the bar thing didn't work out as planned, so we're hungry. What to do? Answer: get off the red line at Belmont and there has to be something there that's open. That's how my wife and I ended up at Clarke's. So, considering the circumstances, I can't complain too much.
The place was dark and grimy looking and feeling, but the food was hot and greasy. Pretty much hit the spot at that moment. I had the patty melt, which was pretty tasty. The meat seemed of a better quality than fast food, but nothing special either. The bread was tasty and crisp while adding that proper bit of sourdough tanginess. My wife was pleased with the burger she ordered. The fries were also nothing special in terms of taste, but they were thick cut, piping hot and otherwise sufficient.
The service was fine until our waitress got a little overwhelmed by a large group that came in towards the end of our stay. We had to wait far too long for the check, but we probably could have flagged her down a little faster if need be.
I think the place is a little too pricey for what you get. Together, I think my wife and spent about $24 after tax and tip. Closer to $20 seems like where this place should fit in.
All in all, for 24-hour diner food, I can't really complain. I won't be back regularly I'm sure, but it's also nice to know it's here when it's needed.
A couple friends had recommended Clarke's to me and I supposed I just had to give it a try based on their word, even though the restaurant didn't look too appetizing from the outside (I know, don't judge a book by its cover!) and the menu didn't look anything out of the ordinary to me. But it was fairly busy and in a great location/area, so I thought, why not?!
I stuck to my usual safe bet of ordering an omlette and it did nothing to impress. It was edible and service wasn't bad either. Other than that, I've been to many other brunch locations that will statisfy my craving for some great omlettes, french toast or other creative dish! But if you're starving and need a quick fix, Clarke's is just the ticket!
What?! It's what time? You're hungry because you've been down the street living it up? And now you want to go somewhere to get something to eat, anything...well, darn it, the only place open that's kind of decent is this place called Clarke's and by-gosh, let's go.
Friday night was my first time here and it probably won't be my last considering I go out in the area quite a bit. The food was not that fantastic, but come on, it's a 24 hour diner that caters to those of us who forgot to eat before we drank. My spinach artichoke dip was ice cold, but the server did go microwave it for me, so...
It's okay, not great. It is what it is. For breakfast all day, sandwiches, and appetizers, all in the middle of a fun night, Clarke's does it for me...
People thought this was:
The service is always terrible, the wait is always unnecessarily long, and the food has made a major decline since 2001 when I would eat there every weekend after going to shows at the old Bottom Lounge (R.I.P.) The last time I went there (hungover) I ordered the pancakes and they were so cold and disgusting I actually barfed. Sorry to paint such a vulgar picture, but this place is such a bummer. I miss the old Clarke's.
People thought this was:
Good God, why didn't I read the reviews before coming here? I last visited this place in 2001, and at that time, I remember it being cozy with good music and all sorts of pie.
Now it's a strangely-lit dump with sub par diner food and only one shitty pie (Cherry tonight). Blech. I had a horrible time hearing the people I was with because of the crappy loud music.
Definitely won't be back.
People thought this was:
Decent diner fair, made much better with intoxication.
Totally satisfying as long as you stick to the normal diner stuff. Tacos? No no. Grilled cheese, burger, shake, fries? Yes yes. You have been warned!
And fyi there are a ton of 24 hour places in this neighborhood. Lots of people like Pick Me Up and Melrose, though Clarke's is probably (by a narrow margin) my favorite out of the bunch.
I would prefer to eat butts out of the ashtray in front of Berlin than ever set foot in this overpriced, pain in the ass, waste of time again.
The "bar" attached is extra hilarious. Sit there for 15 minutes and stare at the bottles sometime. You'll love it too.
People thought this was:
OK, it's not like you're gonna get the best eggs benedict in the world here, but that's not why you come here. Good food, short distance from the Vic and other bars/clubs. they have a full bar, and dance music playing at night. you almost forget that you're in a restaurant.
People thought this was:
Out of the Three Clarke's I've been two (Evanston ,Lincoln Park ) this one has the worst service. I don't think any time I've ever been here I've had a good experience with the staff.
That aside, food is good.
Big big portions worth their price.
I like Clarke's because of their "One egg" special. It's Egg (scrambled or fried), toast and potatoes for $2.99.
If you like your southern style corn beef hash.. you know, all greesy, unhealthy and oh so good.. they have it here :)
In my college days we used to come to Clarkes for birthday dinners. It's open late and they have this AMAZING Charlie Brown brownie Sunday that makes even the biggest chocolate lover cry tears of joy.
Oh, and I like their pancakes too. Good pancakes = good diner.
For the best service check out the Clarkes in Lincoln Park. Evanston is good too but it's usually packed and takes forever to get seated.
People thought this was:
This place used to be awesome, but it past three years I've been coming here it has been really going downhill. The food is still the same, just higher prices. I wouldn't really mind the price increase, but at least have good customer service to go along with it. I've never come here for the service, but I will leave because of it.
It is not okay to watch me as I write out the tip and sign the receipt!!!
People thought this was:
High prices and mediocre food. Screwing up the order and check wrong was just par for the course.
People thought this was:
My husband really wanted to keep drinking and I really wanted greasy food. A place that serves both without all the jerks trying to get laid yelling in the background! The food is typical diner-esque. There's really nothing special, although I ordered a salad and was really impressed with how fresh the greens were for midnight on a Friday. The food is probably only a 2 star, but you don't come here in the middle of the night for the culinary masterpiece. You come here because you want something greasy and hot (and perhaps more to drink). The drinks were strong and our wait staff served us promptly, then let us alone to eat/drink (I hate waiters that ask me every 30 seconds how I am doing). They also have a patio, which would make this place pretty good for the morning after your night of partying instead.
im givin it four stars all you people that rated it less than 3 stars i dont think you know what the hell your talking about. I went in there before goin out with a friend for the 1st time and the food was pretty good i thought the prices were average for the area. Try the place out once and if u dont liek it dont go back but i have a feeling u will be back
People thought this was:
Diner of Lakeview
Your food and shakes make me twitch
Just don't start to bitch
I wanted it to be better, but even drunk off my ass, I could tell this place wasn't quite cutting it. The food was quite forgettable (especially the hashbrowns, which is tragic because I love hash browns) and the ambiance was kind of sketchy. I mean, at 3 am, what was I expecting, right? But for a place that's open 24 hours a day, I would hope that means they've got something good 24 hours a day. But if drunken, ever-so-easy-to-please Brandon isn't appeased, that's a bit of a let down.
People thought this was:
I've been here numerous times and every time had good food. Also, every time i've been here, have had bad service. Rude and slow. They have gotten my order wrong a few times as well. The music is too loud and before the whole "no smoking" law happened, you couldn't breathe for the life of you.
Although they have many bads, the 3 stars are for the good food. Good quesadillas, veggies burgers, spinach dip. Affordable and tasty.
Whoah people are rough on this place. C'mon now....24-hour diner when all you need is substance to stop your head from spinning so you can fall somewhat flat into a drool-filled drunk coma somewhere near your actual bed. It ain't that bad. The vegetarian options are ok, and they are especially ok when it is 3am and your fridge got nothin but some rotted oj and shriveled up ice-cubes in the freezer. I'm not sure if this is a "go-to" place for a regular meal, but I think it is PUrrFect for the wee hours. They have an enormous menu that proves to be difficult to navigate in drunken states, but they will bring ya something if you just say, "egg". The ambiance and decor are like a run-down Denny's off a rural highway. Ahhh...a 24-hour diner in Chicago is a BeaUtiFUL thing.
People thought this was:
What? Why does everyone have to be down on Clarks?
We've all been here a million and half times and yeah its not the best food on the entire earth, but man do they know how to cure a drunken bar fight self at 2am or nurse your hangover the next day.
I have always found them to have sandwiches (ie burgers, monte cristos, clubs) and they have some egg-celent skllets. MY fave really.
But seriously what doesn't have more character than this place... its got everyone and their mother there all day long so there is no people watching in all the city than this place. You can't deny transvestite knife fights just outside at 4am ... I feel like that trumps all other atmospheres and this gets a 5 because its near and dear to my heart because its one of the first 24 hour diners I have started going to "downtown" when I was a wee one out in suburbia lookin' for adventure. Now I live around the corner and couldn't be happier about that.
Also breakfast.... ALL day. Ain't no denying that being an awesome thing.
People thought this was:
Well i guess i cheated on IHOP. Now that i've gotten older and tried new things ihop doesnt seem so great so clarke's took it's place. It is decent edible food. Not to long ago it was a lot more fun to pull the famous "i've been drinking all night lets waste the last of the money!" you could smoke, the juke box was loud everyone was a lot of fun. With IL passing no smoking in public law kinda killed that. juke box isn't so noticeable and they are under new management and the staff isn't so much fun anymore. Haven't been back in awhile but i do the the breakfast pretty much all i eat at little diners. It's most alive after 10 pm chill during the day.
My blood pressure rarely rises when i dine out. It is very rare that i have such a bad experience that I am going to write a place off forever. I am very close to writing this place off forever after my dinner last night.
1) We waited 14 minutes without being acknowledged by anyone. I understand that the place was busy and I expected the wait to be a little longer. At least acknowledge us for God's sake.
2) I ordered coffee and once again I waited way too long for it. I was seriously thinking about going in back and pouring my own.
3) Lara ordered the honey mustard chicken sandwich. What she received was a plain old chicken sandwich
4) We had a coupon for up to $6 dollars off. I go to give her the coupon and she tells me to come back tomorrow? WHAT? HUH? I don't want to come back tomorrow. Now I don't want to come back ever again. I guess she could not use our coupon because there was no manager there?
People thought this was:
Went here for a quick dinner. We chose this place because it was close by to where we were going and… Read more »
I am not a hard person to please. However, when I am paying for service, I expect the following to occur:
a) Acknowledge my presence promptly - say within a few minutes. Don't just show up after we've been sitting there for nearly 15 minutes being COMPLETELY ignored, and then say "you know what you want to order?" At the very least, be apologetic about the fact that you kept us waiting for so long.
b) When a customer orders coffee, bring it promptly. Don't walk past their table three times with a pot without stopping and filling it the first time. Also, come back and refill it from time to time.
c) When a customer's order is wrong, you should notice this before you bring the food to the table - not just plop the plates down along with the check and leave.
d) When a customer has a coupon that is valid on the current date, find a way for them to redeem it. If you dont know how to ring it up, find a manager or somebody who does.
e) Smile at least once.
I now understand why this place has such a bad reputation for service. It was atrocious. I might be convinced to come back on a weeknight when they're not busy, but never again on a weekend. It was the worst, and the closest I have been in a long time to ditching the check & stiffing the server on a tip. (She was lucky that Dave was tipping instead of me.)
People thought this was:
I was expecting Clarke's to be just terrible based on some reviews & general reputation among my… Read more »
Horrible service, horrible food (but the portions are large) lame atmosphere. Stay away!
Don't you hate it when servers tell you they can't split a check? WTF? Why? Is it really that difficult. "I would have to void your order and start over" Okay, well do that. I usually wouldn't yelp or complain, but my co-worker and I need to keep our receipts for our expense reports. Sure, we should have said something up front, but this is 2009, learn how to use the computer.
Seriously, FOOD BLOWS!
Do they even have a manager? A friend of mine left something of his there a while back and every single time he would go there they would tell him to come back another time because it was in the safe and the manager wasn't there. He eventually just had to go buy a new one of what he had left there because they kept telling him different things.
The food is alright, the sweet potato fries are the best thing on the menu but it's five dollars. The service is also mediocre. For a diner with decent food I would rather go to Melrose or Nookies.
After helping some friends move we were starving and checked out Clarke's. As soon as we were seated they asked about drinks. I ordered hot tea. When the waiter came back he brought a pot of hot water and a big wooden box. I'm like "ok"? Opened the box and found tons of tea bags. LOL. Different flavors and such. I thought it was funny. I was freezing and the tea wasn't helping because it got cold pretty quickly. I realized the fan was on too high and was blowing cold air. We asked the waiter if he could turn them off. He was so kind and said "sure".
Ok so after laughing at my giant tea box and almost freezing my butt off I decided on what I wanted to eat. I ordered a veggie burger with swiss cheese and veggie chili. Everyone else ordered breakfast...meh. I don't like breakfast food. I get my chili first. I was ok. Very thick and paste-like. tons and tons of beans.
Next was my burger. It was pretty sweet. Big and stuffed with veggies as well and fries on the side. Nice. Onions, tomato, lettuce, and extra mustard on a wheat bun. Just veggie burger love. I liked this lil diner. Great place to just talk and eat food at a reasonable price.
People thought this was:
I used to go here at least twice a week. Smoke up, coffee, friends, and ruckus 'til sunrise.
But ever since the smoking ban, the new renovations, and fresh crop of waiters/waitresses - it's been anything but worth my time for a 24 hour diner.
Admittedly, a select few staff veterans improve my experience there, and the food is consistent for a diner in this area. But I rarely see the veteran staff (those who know what they're doing and stop by more than twice), and I only order what has always been good for me, a Clark Burger.
So I couldn't say my opinions are a fair assessment, but I gotta say. Clark's just isn't what it used to be, and not the rehabbed bar area(what used to be the smoking area) nor a handful more of flat screens on the ceiling corners will save them. I've been in and out for the past few years, and lately - it's been significantly less.
There's definitely better diners out there in the area. It's the worth the walk in my opinion.
There's not much new I can say that hasn't already been said . . .
Poor service, mediocre food, overpriced, they love to squeeze large parties into small booths, etc.
I'll eat here in the Summer as it is the only place around with outdoor seating.
And what is up with the bathroom? Why is there a lock on the outside? Do they plan on holding me hostage?
I really want to like Clarke's on Belmont. I really do. I love a good diner and the whole diner experience. Since it's very close to my house, I have dined here often. I actually waited to write this review, hoping any of the poorer experiences were simply on accident.
Not so much.
The food is adequate and the portions are big. Notice I said adequate. Nothing special. I'd rather smaller portions and better tasting food. The service is slightly less than adequate, as on multiple occasions I have been seated and then waited more than 10 minutes before anyone even comes over to ask if we want water. The prices are decent, but when the service and food is sub-par, what's the point? Especially when there are far tastier options (i.e. Ann Sather) right down the street.
So in conclusion, one star for food portions, one star for the fact that they're open late-late-late, so if you've been out drinking and want to close out the evening with food, Clarke's on Belmont is always open.
I have a soft spot for diners. Something about them just makes me want to sit and stay for a while. It was around 10pm on a Thursday night and so I'm not sure the "drunk crowd" had stumbled in yet. We were greeted and seated quickly, our water glasses were filled, and drink orders taken on the spot. We got a booth by the window (prime people watching spot for those inside AND outside). We all ordered types of sandwiches. When I go to a diner the only thing I want is a burger or a club sandwich, that's just the way I roll. I would rate my club sandwich as 2.5/5. All our orders came exactly as we roded them and with all of the necessary extra condiments needed (My pet peeve is when I ask for a side of ranch or something and they don't bring it out with my food so I have to wait while everyone else starts eating and my fries get cold). One of us ordered some cheesy broccoli soup, as a cheesy broccoli soup connoisseur, I would say it was a 3.25/5. There was also a salad of some sort that was ordered, pretty fresh ingredients for 10pm I'd say. Service was quick and friendly. Menu seemed to have a lot to offer. We stayed a while and "girl talked", they left us alone. Fairly large portions. Nothing fancy, not overly impressive. It's a diner, what do you expect? Oh, and they have booze!
24 hour diner in Chicago. Close to boystown...makes for interesting 4-5am trips.
If it's not crowded, it's great, the service is fine and food is decent. if not, well then, it turns into a shitshow.
PS: Their sweet potato fries are bomb. especially for drunk munchies. Definitely beats the 7-11 across from Roscoe's. You know what I'm talking about. (:
People thought this was:
My girlfriend and I headed over to Clarke's and I can honestly say, I didn't expect much. My expectations were correct.
I ordered a simple grilled cheese. After 25 minutes of waiting, it was finally served and once I attempted to eat it, I could smell fish coming from the sandwich. It clearly smelled like it was cooked on, or right next to seafood. Upon complaining, the waiter said that's impossible because there is no seafood on the menu. I searched the entire menu and found 3 seafood dishes. The grilled cheese was not replaced, rather it was "zapped" in the microwave (the plate was extremely warm and cheese was oozing out of the bread). Again, I complained.
At this point, I asked for a manager. They told me there was no manager on duty. I then asked who was in charge, and the waiter told me he was. He further explained he was in charge of just his section. So basically, no one was working as management. I told him I just want to not be charged for the sandwich and he said no because I had taken a bite of it already! He then brought another waitress over to try to explain to me that they could not refund me, and after I disagreed, she ran away all pissed off.
To make this story come to an end, I left not eating anything. I was lied to about there being no seafood on the menu and that there was management there, neither being true. The waiter then had the nerve to tell me since I was so unhappy, I shouldn't come back.
I would LOVE to speak to the management of Clarke's who amazingly, are never available day or night when you call. If anyone has information about who they are, please message me.
The waiter's name is Eddie (Edy) and the girl waitress who came over had red-orange hair and her name is Nicole.
I am from New York and I have been to many diners and have never experienced the rudeness, ignorance, and just overall lack of courtesy and customer could ask for. A credit card dispute has been filed since I was forced to pay.
Stay far away from this hell hole.
People thought this was:
This horrible place gave me the worst food poisoning of my life. Actually, the ONLY food poisoning of my life.
When I called and spoke to the manager she didn't seem surprised. "Yeah, the FDA recalled the veggie burgers, but said they were OK on Thursday, so we put them back."
WTF. ever.
People thought this was:
Clarke's is one of those places that so many Chicagoans know about that any review one could write would also be found in another review because so many people have been here and I'm certain that my review will likely look like a mixed-up amalgam of several other reviews you've probably already read.
That in mind, Clarke's On Belmont is summed up in one word: "Average."
I'm only in my mid-twenties and have only lived in Chicago for about 7 years, but Clarke's just keeps reappearing in my memories. The strange part is that the memories are never about Clarke's itself - just about the events that happened there or before/after being there. Clarke's just always happens to be in the right place at the right time, because I've never thought, "I want to go to Clarke's," but somehow I keep ending up there.
The decor is an average compilation of every cheesy diner (but this one knows it's a cheesy diner so it pokes fun at itself, which makes it cheesier). The food wants to be tasty "greasy spoon" kind of food, but it never really makes it there. I think of "greasy spoon" as something not classy or clean but it satisfies you better than a four-course fancy-schmancy dinner ever could. This food is just - average.
A lot of the time, it feels like they're just not trying.
The waitstaff really give off that air. You can sometimes be standing at the "Please wait to be seated" sign for several minutes before someone takes notice and takes you to a seat. It's then a while longer before they'll take your order, and about a 50-50 chance that they'll even get it right. Sometimes even when you're lucky and they get something right, they'll somehow screw it up later. The last time I was there, they forgot the cheese on my date's cheese fries and while they managed to get us both our Diet Cokes, somehow at the refill point, they decided we'd wanted Cherry Cokes, because that's what we were brought.
The buns on the burgers really aren't great. A normal restaurant would do SOMETHING to them - toast them, grill them, at the very least, warm them. These tasted like they were freshly grabbed from a not-so-fresh bag o' buns and had burger ingredients slapped on 'em. The fries? Good fries don't feel like they're filled with bland potato-ish mush. That usually happens when they're not cooked properly, or long enough, or made from poor-quality ingredients. I think it's obvious we weren't served "good fries".
The price? We shelled out $8 for an appetizer of chicken tenders and what we got were four small chicken strips that tasted like they were microwaved and bought bulk at a very-discount grocery store. It's sad when you can drop about $40 for two people to eat - and you're both hungry again about 20 minutes after leaving.
Still, we keep winding up back here. Drunken after a night of clubbing. Going on a first date. Randomly stopping for a meal after shopping The Alley. Celebrating an anniversary. Clarke's happens to be at the right place at the right time, and while it never deserves to be remembered for its food or service or prices or decor - it still will wind up in your memories.
But if you try to think about it, you'll probably come up with that same one word: "Average."
People thought this was:
Neighborhood: Lincoln Park
Category: Diners
Neighborhood: Lakeview
Category: Breakfast & Brunch
Neighborhood: Roscoe Village
Category: Restaurants
Neighborhood: Lincoln Park
Category: Restaurants
Neighborhood: Lakeview
Category: American (Traditional)
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