Clarion Laguardia Hotel

Elite '08

50

95

Kim P.

Newtown Square, PA

*That picture is NOT of this hotel.  Unless they gave me the ghetto floor.

This has got to be the nastiest dump I have ever slept in.  Seriously, shithole.  I'd like to give it no stars.

I had to stay near LGA for 1 night for a meeting I had at the Marriott Courtyard in the morning.  The Courtyard was outrageously expensive, other places were booked, but I got a room at the Clarion at an airline discount (for the bargain price of $140) and I SO regretted not forking over the extra dough.

From the outside I was a little worried.  It looks like they tried to paint over bad stucco and it's obvious.  But when I walked in, the lobby wasn't THAT bad.  Typical for a budget hotel, with the complimentary breakfast area.  I asked the front desk if there were refrigerators or minibars in the rooms, as I had some food that needed to be kept cold, and was told they are "upon request and an extra $10."  Uh, ok.  Where do I park?  The lot is next door.  It's $8 per night.  Uh, ok.  This isn't THE CITY,  So I paid $175 (including taxes) for a fleabag.  And I got a DISCOUNT.  I would have been livid if I'd paid full price.

So...onto the room.  I began to lose faith when I left the lobby area.  The hallways on the first floor are weirdly sloped.  The carpet is loose, severly stained, and littered with debris so much so that I find it hard to believe it's been vacuumed in the past month.  Seriously.  And the first floor is spiffy compared to the second, where I ventured for some ice (to put in my nasty dirty ice bucket.  Luckily I was just chilling some wine.)  That carpet is even looser and more stained and more dirty.  I'm not even kidding.

The room itself made me curse for not packing socks.  Because there was no freaking way I was walking around there barefoot, I had to settle for sliding on flip flops whenever my feet left my bed.  (Which I immediately removed the nasty dingy old faded bedspread from before i even touched it.)  This place holds the honor of being the first place I've ever actually lifted up the mattress to check for bedbugs.  Even the luggage rack was dingy.  The furniture looked like it had been purchased at another hotel's going out of business sale.  It was all beaten up.  

I travel for a living and so have slept in a zillion hotel beds - this one was towards the bottom rung.  It wasn't the worst, because I didn't wake up needing a chiropractor.  But it was probably one step away from that.  Give the ratty old mattresses a few more months and they'll be there.

Don't waste your money at this hellhole.  I usually fly into JFK and so stay at the Sunrise Executive Hotel, which gives us a nice airline discount.  Those rooms are clean, recently renovated, have a fridge and microwave, free highspeed in the rooms, and don't charge for parking.  I'll drive the extra 15 minutes and stay there next time.

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Elite '08

951

976

Michelle B.

Seattle, WA

So ghetto, oh so ghetto.

I simply needed a place to sleep since I had an early flight in the morning. I don't need anything fancy, and I've stayed in plenty of budget hotels, so I didn't really have a high expectations.

I didn't care that the place was tiny, or that the furnishings were a bit shabby. The odd lighting, and the uneven sloping corridors could certainly be overlooked. The lukewarm shower without water pressure could also be forgiven. However, the horrible smell, something akin to urine, was not really something I could simply ignore, yuck!

And if that wasn't bad enough, I was woken up multiple times throughout the night by people arguing outside of my room. Yelling such compelling arguments as "I'm sick of your ass." Plus, I think that there was a fireworks display nearby, or was that popping sound gunfire? I'll stick with fireworks.

Seriously, do not stay here.

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