- Restaurants |
- Nightlife |
- Shopping |
- Movies |
- All
Buckeye Park
- Good for Kids:
- Yes
One review for Buckeye Park
1 review in English
-
Review from Kim D.
6/20/2011 1 photo
My good friend, The Ham Burglar invited me to a party at this petite neighborhood park, where she was co-hostessing a joint birthday for her delightfully precocious daughter + bestie, both turning four.
"You should totally come," she said, "there will tons of food and the Feisty Russians will be there too. Bring the Cadet!"
I paused, perhaps for just a beat too long, because she quickly added, "The men are going to barbecue - AND we hired a balloon artist - she can make you a funny hat!"
I RSVP'd to the affirmative for two and laughed out loud. You had me at barbecue, babe.
Though I am a parent and come from a large family, when I'm out, I typically do not dress in a manner that would be described as "child friendly" and skew towards creations that would come from the Couture Division of Mainway, Inc. Bonus points to any fans of Classic SNL fans who "get" the reference.
I think that in a few decades, I will have completely forgiven my [then] infant Niece for projectile vomiting onto a silk my Marc Jacobs I wore for Easter. I may never forgive Blondie #2 for feeding the Niece and asking if I would like to hold her.
Truly, I adore children (Tiffinie T. and the Ham Burglar can attest to this) though statistically speaking, I won't like yours, despite how "gifted" they may be. In fact, I GUARANTEE I will despise you and the precious fruit of your loins if we're on the same international flight without some Benadryl.
Aside: I always carry antihistamines and will offer you one with a no-nonsense "Give this to your kid - STAT!" - an understanding, but utterly mirthless smile upon my face.
In the event that some of the kidlets might be intrigued, sticky-fingered, and "grabby" I decided to attend Kimcognito: sans chapeau, and don appropriate Saturday in the park attire.
There was one accessory I did contemplate seriously: an incontinence product. Said party had a drop-in window from 11am - 2pm. One quirk about me: I am absent my left kidney. Unlike a portion of the young attendees, I AM potty trained, but one quirk about this park is: there are NO BATHROOMS.
This lush, seven acre park is discreetly nestled in a very family oriented neighborhood and the lack of facilities is probably a subtle "eff-you" to those of us who must drive a bridge and struggle to find parking in this suburban enclave.
There is a tiny, Stevia-sweet play structure rendered in thick plastic, conspicuously close to the single, well-carbonized BBQ stand and stationary metal picnic table that are furnished by the park. This, I also found to be tremendously ironic and struggled not to guffaw at the brilliant Civil Engineer who put the rubber stamp on the configuration.
The Feisty Russian told me that this is an alcohol-free park, which makes sense, because you wouldn't want to have your buzz on, tending an open flame just a few yards from the mini playground, right?
Second degree burns, anyone? I will have three fingers of Guffaw, neat, please!
One of the dutiful husbands was dispatched to arrive at 0545 - that would be the ass-crack of dawn to you civilians - to call "dibs" on the park, as reservations are not accepted and only ONE group can occupy it at a time, with no lower limit, I was told by the Ham Burglar. Apparently, another faction had shown up just after 0600, only to be disappointed as the park was spoken for.
To my knowledge, there was no hitting or crying exchanged between the adults, nor did anyone end up in the corner for a Timeout because of name-calling.
The party was fun - it was great to see some friendly and familial faces and to make new ones as well. I was actually warned not to write this review, so if I don't make it to 300, send a search party to the park with a cadaver dog - that's where my shallow grave will be discovered.
All morbidity aside - Buckeye Park is clean and a viable venue for a get together.... provided you've got an insomniac willing to play gatekeeper, attendees who live in the 'hood with a loo and/or a case of Stadium Pal Party Favors.
