Bronx County Courthouse

Elite '09

212

327

Peter K.

Bronx, NY

9/7/2008 1 photo

I dread taking the subway sometimes.

Often I see the NYPD stopping random people for a bag search and I vehemently feel apprehensive because I know I'm going to be selected for this unwanted lottery. I automatically feel guilty as my NorthFace backpack is full with school books, gym clothes and lunch (some dinner leftovers over a few nights, mixed into a pig's trough and prepared in Tupperware). I plan on making smalltalk with the officer, asking about career paths and exciting job design. Bomb or not, I am always guilty.

I get stopped every time but I am used to it.

Jury duty automatically conjures illicit feelings of indignation. Why me? How dare they? Don't "they" know:

a) I have an important job!
b) I have better things to do - Maury is on!
c) I bought tickets to Spamalot!
d) some other bullsh-t complaint you can think of.

There are several courthouses in the Bronx. Today the New York State Supreme Court of Bronx County handles civil cases only (there is a new building for criminal proceedings). It is located at Grand Concourse and 161st St.

This past June, I served jury duty for the 3rd time, serving two days this week in the Boogie D. Near Yankee Stadium, I was jealous of the folks who went to the day game on Monday. It ruined my plans for grabbing a beer at lunch.

Upon arrival, you have to empty your pockets and walk through metal detectors. Not as bad as the TSA, since you get to keep your shoes on and you can bring in beverages. Cameras and recording devices are not allowed, but cell phones with cameras are ok; don't be smart and take pictures, even if you see hot chicks.

Within the juror selection room, aka room 212, you sit and hear the general orientation spiel and watch a video. If you are not called, then guess what, you will be playing the "waiting game" as your jury duty service.

The "smoking room" which I enjoyed in 2001 is now a computer room, with about 40+ decrepit Dell laptops. Strangely only 5 of them operate with internet access.

The bathroom stalls have the one-ply sandpaper-like toilet paper. There is one mirror and the sinks have those rusty faucets that require one hand to get the water out.

In terms of jury duty advice, here goes:
* As far as appearance, a t-shirt and jeans work. I did see "no shorts" explicitly on the juror summons.
* Bring a book or a video game system or something that will keep you busy for at least 5 hours a day. You'll thank me later.
* For lunch possibilities, anything on the strip ie, pizza, McDonalds, and Burger King are poor choices. The Feeding Tree [http://www.yelp.com/bi...] is a better option. Joyce Kilmer Park is also wonderful.

As far as juror selection goes, I don't know either. It's up to the type of case and lawyers. Do lawyers want folks to be sympathetic and get the best possibly jury to decide in their favor? I think so. In three stints I've been in voir dire only four times and have been excused. I went undrafted like Priest Holmes.

Most of my experience here involved sitting on my hands, reading and playing a little Nintendo DS. One of my fond experiences was taking a break, going to the TV room and watching Maury. In a peanut gallery of 3 elderly women, I overheard lovely conversations discussing the good old days when "there was no remote control. Children were the remotes and changed the channel." In addition, I sat in horror as these oldies discussed their aspirations of being strippers and dominatrices (thanks to Mr Springer's televised circus). Double barf, but it was memorable.

Each time I walk through the metal detectors, I think aloud:

a) Who is going commando today?
b) How many people here have nothing better to do?
c) The five losers hogging up the laptops can't be on myspace all day, can they?
d) I imagine that this is the closest I will get to experiencing prison.
e) I wish I was at work.
f) The dude who picked 'e' is under the influence. Clearly!
g) These people around me are fugly.
h) http://www.yelp.com/to...
i) Is Yelp a dating site? I think so. http://www.yelp.com/bi...
j) I'm a great f--king catch.
k) http://www.yelp.com/to...
l) Time for some Jello, Mr Shill Cosby? I'll settle for a pudding pop.
m) I should start a show - the ghetto practice
n) http://www.yelp.com/to...
o) Ok, I am not the yellow Brad Pitt. Dave Chappelle maybe?
p) http://www.yelp.com/to...
q) I wish I had a Buffalo Bill ice cream bar. I want to just eat the gum nose.
r) If I could clone myself I would.
s) I hate the beach. Why is there sand in my shoe?
t) When will the Mc Rib make a triumphant return to McDonald's?
u) all of the above
v) none of the above
w) a, b, d, f and q only
x) sometimes
y) always
z) never

IFHTP 3+

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