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Blakes On Telegraph - CLOSED
Categories: Arts & Entertainment Music Venues Nightlife Music Venues Nightlife Bars Music Venues, Bars [Edit]
2367 Telegraph Ave(between Channing Way & Durant Ave)
Berkeley, CA 94704
Neighborhoods: Telegraph Ave, UC Campus Area
(510) 848-0886
- Good for Kids:
- No
- Accepts Credit Cards:
- Yes
- Parking:
- Street
- Good for Groups:
- Yes
- Price Range:
-
$$
- Outdoor Seating:
- No
- Music:
- DJ, Live
- Best Nights:
- Tue, Fri, Sat
- Happy Hour:
- Yes
- Alcohol:
- Full Bar
- Smoking:
- No
- Coat Check:
- No
- Noise Level:
- Very Loud
- Good For Dancing:
- Yes
- Has TV:
- Yes
- Wheelchair Accessible:
- Yes
272 reviews for Blakes On Telegraph
Review Highlights
"This place had some yummy sweet potato fries."
(in 7 reviews)
"...them and getting a nice little basement show out of it."
(in 46 reviews)
"2 pitchers: humboldt hemp ale + new belgium fat tire."
(in 4 reviews)
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272 reviews in English
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Review from Matt E.
11/4/2011 1 photo
I can only speak for my one and only experience at Blake's On Telegraph. Saw RX Bandits play a 21 and over show (extremely rare for them) back in November of 2002 down in the basement.
The show was fucking amazing. No stage...just the band standing on a small platform mere feet away from me. I literally had to dodge Chris's trombone slide.
Really wish I had the chance to come out and check out more shows at this venue. But due to its nostalgic value, this place marks pretty high for me.Listed in: The Day The Music Died
-
Review from Justin S.
Castro Valley, CA
11/2/2011
The first and only time I had the opportunity to purchase heroin!
At least thats what I think the shady looking guy in the bathroom said. I was more interested in not being in front of the urinal and in the same room (let alone building) with him... -
Review from Toni M.
2/11/2011
Inspired by Eric B's review, here's mine. When I started at UC in 1962 Larry Blake's was the place to go. When I moved into the dorm the second semester and for the following two semesters it was where I ate my Sunday dinner, since the dining hall didn't serve dinner Sunday nights. My dinner invariably was a large plate of the signature salad, a generous portion for $1. I liked it when it had been sitting in the dressing for a while and was a little soggy w/ it. Not gourmet but what I loved. It remained one of my favorite salads and Alan and I introduced Tam to it when she was little. As for the rest of the food, I remember it as being pretty good, but in those days there was plenty of good food around campus. Kip's Hamburgers made excellent, rare burgers. I was astonished at how bad they were when I tried them 25 years later.
Downstairs the Rathskeller was a dark and cool place to hang out and listen to music. It was also where the bathrooms were. Like Eric, I'm sad that this iconic place of my youth has gone dark, even though I haven't been there in years. Telegraph Avenue at night isn't as safe or comfortable as it was in the early 60s, when I could walk back to my dorm alone in the dark in complete safety. -
Review from Dorothy C.
El Cerrito, CA
2/13/2011
And my review to follow Toni's.
My last visit to the Rathskeller was probably forty plus years ago. At the time, the Piccolo had become the Mediterraneum..La FIesta was *the only* Mexican food joint on the Avenue and Robbie's Cafe was where you could get a pitcher of beer without showing an ID.
Larry Blake's was where you went when your parents needed to be shown around the campus. (And had agreed to pay the bill.)
So, I am not surprised that Larry Blake's has closed. I certainly have not spent much time on the Avenue during the past half century. Too grotty, too dangerous, too well...boring.
I am sorry to see yet another Berkeley institution bite the dust, though. I'm hoping that someone, somewhere made a last UTube tribute to the place before it closed. HIstory, you know. Like so much of Telegraph Avenue. -
Review from Eric B.
2/11/2011
While goin' the road to sweet Cal-y, hurroo, hurroo
A stick in me hand and a drop in me eye
A doleful damsel I heard cry,
Larry I hardly knew ye....
After 71 years of serving the Blue and Gold (including me), Blake's on Telegraph has closed. I enjoyed the music, thought the food was OK, and am sad that this Cal tradition has bitten the dust. -
Review from Mike L.
2/8/2011
Heard in the news recently that Blakes had closed permanently, and decided to write a short little blurb on them in memory of college days.
Back in college, Blakes was one of the handful of places my friends would get drinks at. Getting tables usually wasn't a problem, and the drinks were pretty cheap. For poor college kids, that's probably the most you could ask for. The crowd was mainly fellow students, and the basement would either feature a live band, or a DJ that would play hip-hop music. In fact, it was probably one of the few (if not only) places near campus that would actually have an area for people to dance. But then, there was always SF...but I digress.
In the years afterwards, it was pretty apparent they were on the slide. Even towards my last year, there were times where the crowd would get kinda sketchy, and you would wonder where some of these people were coming from. That is, assuming there were even people there. A while back, a couple of buddies and I found ourselves in the neighborhood and decided to drop in to grab a drink or two. In total, there was maybe a half dozen people or so and we were probably the youngest people there. Just to make it worth walking through the door, we grabbed one quick round and left as soon as we had sat down.
In a way, I'm kind of sad to see Blake's go...but then again, no, I'm not. -
Review from Manny V.
San Pablo, CA
12/21/2010
I HEART Blake's!
Can anything beat their drink specials on Wednesday nights? Is there anything cooler than techno lights? I love my Cob Salad, my beer selection, and the cheap drinks downstairs when the party starts. I'll never be too old for Blake's! I may get be too old for the fun downstairs, but Blake's will always be my go to place.
PS- snobby kids you are in the wrong zip code my friends. SF is further West! -
Review from denis A.
Berkeley, CA
2/12/2011
Can't help but say that I for one will NOT miss this place. IT was a haven for trouble and compared to all the other pubs nearby, there was always trouble here. To me it was all entertaining, but i can see why this place shut for good.
That being said, Berkeley- UC Campus, has a shortage of places to dance, and venues for small band concerts. That is where I will miss this place, but not enough to want it back.
The same week that this place closed there was this girl fight outside, and i saw the bartender jump into it like superman and he got his head hit a few times with a cell phone. I remember thinking that the guy was always kind of a jerk.
Goodbye to Blakes, but honestly.. GOOD RIDDANCE -
Review from Krystie M.
12/21/2010 1 photo
Oh, Blakes. It's a Berkeley establishment but it's really not that great. I've been here a couple of times and it's usually against my will.
ATMOSPHERE
It's such a grungy bar, but it's definitely cleaner than Kips and a lot less creepy. I usually sit at the high tables and get a few drinks with my girl friends (but only during happy hour). The service is whatever and you have to wait a long time at the bar.
The basement is gross and the floors are sticky. I don't know how people dance in there without getting dirty. The only bright side is that it's pretty spacious and my friend DJs on Tuesdays and/or Thursdays.
The upstairs dance floor is tiny... I don't even know why it's called a dance floor because it's awkwardly shaped and there's not much room to dance.
NOTE: If you don't like dealing with punk/emo/annoying teenagers from the local high schools, then make sure you figure out which days are for the 18+ crowd.
FOOD
I've ordered their CAJUN FRIES, which are good. They come with a side of ranch and ketchup.
My friend always gets their CHEESE QUESADILLA and NACHOS, but stay away from the salsa; she said it's really gross.
Their DRINKS are a hit or miss. Sometimes they're too strong but sometimes all you can taste is juice. They're really only worth it for happy hour ($3).
Overall, a grungy college bar swarming with gross locals. I personally don't like Blakes, but at least they're nice about event planning (it's free to reserve the space as long as your guests buy roughly $200 worth of drinks/food). -
Review from Nina Y.
12/22/2010
Birthday Fun.
We started off here because it's closest to my apartment since it was supposed to be raining. I started off with a strawberry daiquiri. It was decent, kind of strong for a mixed drink, but then again my roommate requested it strong so I would get drunk faster. FUN STUFF.
Rum sours were decent. A "shot" of tequila was a good 2 shots.
The music downstairs sucked, but that's whatever. All I wanted to focus on was drinking.
FREE BIRTHDAY DRINK. -
Review from Amy L.
11/19/2010
Closest dancing club around Berkeley campus and I suppose it can be convenient when you are lazy to make the trip into SF. However, I swear you get the most rando people there--you got your high schoolers, homeless people, Cal students, Oakland residents...
The bouncers are nice! worked with them a couple of times for a fundraising event there, and they are super chill and funny.
The bar is pretty empty, but the bartenders are friendly. Really quick with drinks and if you order a jager-bomb, they will give you a lot of Red Bull. And, lots of Red Bull is always good in my book.
The dancer floor downstairs is dark, lots of pipes on the ceiling, awkward side room, ill-placed techni-colored light ball that blinds your eyes if you are standing at the wrong place, convenient bar and bathroom, okay music (can sometime disappoint though). -
Review from Miles H.
Fresno, CA
1/17/2011
Blakes on Telegraph is one of three primary drinking spots on the UC Berkeley Campus Southside, along with Kips and Raleighs. While the other two are decidedly student bars, I've never seen masses of UC Berkeley students crowding into Blakes. Blakes is local sports bar, catering to locals in the Berkeley/ Oakland area. It can be a great place to watch a sports game, or to have an afternoon beer.
Their food is generic pub grub, with no extras or unique flavors. They have a solid bar with good booze/beer, good bartenders, and good waiters.
In addition, they have a event room downstairs which might be worth checking out if you're into music. They have the venue booked most nights out of the week with local bands, some of which put on good shows.
CAUTION: the crowd at Blakes isn't your college friendly drinking buddy. The crowd's average age is much older than the college demographic, with many old-timers. To be honest, it's the last place I would ever consider taking a girl for drink. I took a few of my close girlfriends there a while back, and so many guys made comments to them that they felt uncomfortable and we left. In addition, the crowd outside is often a mixture of locals, students, and vagabonds, and should be avoided. Someone was stabbed last week just outside Blakes: http://www.berkeleysid... -
Review from Michael K.
San Francisco, CA
9/1/2010
Brief summary - Bartender could not verify my authentic CA driver's license for no good reason and proceeded to give me attitude about it. I am 27 years old as of the writing of this review.
Details follow, if anyone cares:
I still get carded from time to time, and I couldn't care less about it.
A friend (Berkeley resident) and I (transplant from LA) were hanging out in Berkeley, and we randomly stopped by Blakes a few nights ago.
So the bartender, whom I do not know by name, (my best description of her is an approximately 5'4" asian female) comes over to help us.
I asked about a vodka on the wall I had never seen before, she shows it to me, and I decide to order it (on the rocks, with a slice of lime).
Before serving me, she asks for ID. No problem... I give her my CA driver's license, which is in pretty good condition. Never had a problem before, never had a problem since.
She starts bending it, twisting it, holding the ID up to the light, poking it, prodding it, grumbling about it... then she starts looking around, possibly for help, but doesn't find anyone.
So I find this mildly amusing, being 27 years old and being suspected of using a fake ID.
I say "you know... it's one thing to check my ID, but to not believe that it's real... is pretty 'out there'".
She continues the bending and twisting, and utters half a sentence, "hmmm.... it doesn't have the ... "
I casually asked if she had a UV light (which obviously would have revealed that it was authentic). No response.
More twisting and grumbling... I'm waiting for her to look at my face and just *realize* that I am well over 21, but she is just too absorbed in her detective work to be bothered to look up.
This must've gone on for a good minute and a half. She keeps twisting, bending, and grumbling, and occasionally looking around for help. Still doesn't find anyone.
Jokingly, I ask if she would like to hear about my PhD that I finished recently.
Without looking at me, she responded: "If I wanted to hear about it, I would've asked you."
Whoooooooaaaaa there... did I say something to offend you?? Get over yourself.
I held out my hand, took my ID back, and told her I didn't feel like drinking anymore, which was true. Walked out of there and never looked back.
I hate to do a one-star review just because of the behavior of one employee, but when you're a bartender and you're working an evening shift, you really represent the face of the entire establishment.
I have no problem that she wanted to verify the authenticity of my ID, in fact, I think the UV light is pretty standard at a lot of bars now and have come to expect it. Just the other day, a place swiped the magnetic strip of my driver's license to verify it.
There's really no excuse for your attitude when YOU are the cause of the delay. It's not my fault if you can't even identify a real CA driver's license when you're working at a CA bar.
Here's a suggestion for how you can be courteous (or at least, you know, **moderately** civil) to your customers:
"Excuse me for a minute while I check your ID with the manager" might have been an appropriate thing to say. I would not have protested.
I would be happy to return to Blake's and give a real review, as long as she's not working there. -
Review from Austin W.
Berkeley, CA
3/26/2011 5 Check-ins Here
Food here was never that great. Burgers are dry, not flavorful, and their "damn good sauce"... is only ketchup. What gives? The fries that they serve are a bit on the dry side so you'll definitely need to use a lot of ketchup to make them edible. Not too surprised they closed...
The "dance floor" downstairs is the nasties. The air is bad, the floor is dirty, the music is meh, and the place is just overcrowded in general. The place is also so dimly lit there's a lot of shady stuff that goes on here. Drink prices are pretty standard. I suppose this is the closest "club" that under-21 Berkeley students can go into, but I would avoid going even if you're curious. Not worth the time. Also, I guess not possible any more since the place is closed. -
Review from Dmitriy S.
San Diego, CA
8/15/2010
21st Birthday Alcohol Run - Bar #3:
The night is getting pretty late. The street lights are starting to become a slight blur. I start hugging people I randomly meet on the street that I haven't seen in ages. However, Blake's is still open, and I can't pass that up.
I've been to Blake's before, but only for club parties. Tonight was gonna be different. Blake's was packed with people, which is also a good sign. The first thing I discovered is that you get a free birthday drink, but only after you buy your first drink. Not what I was expecting, but hey, it's still free alcohol. We had a long island, which barely had any alcohol in it. Pretty much a disappointment.
For the free drink, I was contemplating how to top off a great night. Tory L. suggested: "Hey why not take a blowjob shot?" As ridiculously homo as that sounds, it tasted really good. The bartender even decided to do it with us after realizing he's never had one before.
The dancefloor here is underground and pretty legit. They always have good DJs and it's pretty packed most of the time. That mixed with the down to earth bartenders who drink on the job with you made Blake's a great way to end one of the best nights of my life. Thank you To Tory L. and Elaine M. (if she ever starts Yelping) for a drunk night that I surprisingly still remember very well. I guess I didn't get shitfaced enough. -
Review from Pat P.
1/6/2011
This is a bar that's very close to campus and I think that's why it gets patronage - its proximity. Otherwise, there's really not a whole lot that's going to impress you about this joint.
The beers are okay and the food is too pricey for its quality. It also has a basement that hosts quasi-clubbing nights every now and then. This place is also way too anal about ID's, even for Berkeley standards.
I'd hit up other places in the area; there are much better alternatives. -
Review from Rick C.
Berkeley, CA
1/7/2011
The only thing that Blakes has going for it is that it's close by to campus so I can spend more money on booze rather than a taxi cab home, I'm serious!
I've been here a few times for some quick lunches and dinners. The food ain't that half bad, seriously. Burgers, fries, and other appetizers are pretty easy to do and aren't that half bad. However, I have to say, what the hell are you guys thinking with the mozzo sticks? It's literally five or six good chunks of mozzarella covered in panko bread crumbs and fried. It was really weird when I was expecting the traditional ol' bar fare mozzo sticks. Bonus points for offering a discount on food for Cal students and being smart enough to realize that we needed our drinks refilled without being interrupted from our chats!
The people at the bar have always been pretty cool, if a bit alternative (read: typical Berkeley). While I generally hate the music that they have downstairs, it's still a pretty good place to jump by, even if it's one of many stops on a nightly bar run! -
Review from Patti F.
11/28/2010 1 Check-in Here
We just stopped in for drinks on a Friday night. Being from out of town, it wasn't obvious there were two entrances - one for the show, one for the restaurant/bar. If you're just having drinks/food - make sure you go into the right entrance ;-)
I have to say, I didn't love it - though the waitstaff was friendly, and efficient (even though they once brought me vodka/soda, instead of vodka/tonic - but who complains about that really?).
I recommend sitting in the back if you'd like to hear the show, but don't want to pay the cover. You'll hear the music, and still be able to get a little food.
Bathrooms are downstairs (where the show is), which I thought a bit weird since they want a cover for the show. Then I realized there's a bathroom-bouncer that won't let you do anything but hit the can and walk back upstairs.
Overall, not bad - I'm sure the music scene/nightclub is probably fun though - it was packed. -
Review from Jerico P.
6/17/2011
i will miss blakes on telegraph.
i was hopeful when they redid the place. it looked so much better than it did before. i know many people don't like partying at the basement but c'mon now- if there are no parties up at frat row and nobody is throwing a kick back at their house, this was the place to go.
yes it was dark, it was sweaty, and it was crowded... but the music was good and it was always there when you needed a place to party. good ol reliable blakes... or at least it use to be.
until next time
cheers! -
Review from Sarah W.
6/11/2010
2.5-3 stars. This was my first visit in all my years at Berkeley. I didn't go because NOTHING about Blake's stands out as welcoming or enticing, not even the 15% for Cal students discount or $5 Thursdays in the underground part. However, for an after work happy hour organized by the late yelper John B., I was convinced to go.
Great steals for meals? Maybe. The guys in the group thought so since they ordered multiple happy hour specials. It's only $1 for a chicken taco or tostada, fries, or onion rings. $2 for a slider or fish and chips, or mozzerella sticks. I myself tried the fries, slider, and mozzerella sticks. Things I shared with my beau.
Mozzerella sticks: They give you two, which are nicely fried, but unfortunately paired with watered down marinara dip.
Slider: Gross, salty, rubbery. Enough said.
Fries: They give you like 20 or fewer fries. A good deal. Fries are fried in a crumbly batter, giving each fry some rough texture. I liked.
In terms of beer: I disliked the beer....$6 pitcher for PBR...$8 pitcher for Sierra Nevada. Great deals, but not worth consuming.
+ Their name is misleading since they're located b/t Durant/Channing and Telegraph NOT the street Blake. Tis hilarious.
+ Service was great. They DO check your IDs here.
+ Crowd was diverse and different than Beckett's and other campus bars.
+ They have 3 screens so you can watch yo' sports here while getting a nice drink or meal. There were a group of husky men who came the same time as us and got a bunch of pitchers of beer and hamburgers. It was cool.
I'm sure I'll return for another after work happy hour. It was nice with the company. -
Review from Ashley M.
San Jose, CA
1/16/2011 1 Check-in Here
Went here before a football game, and was rather disappointed.
Food: pretty gross.. we were there for brunch/lunch time, so some of us had brunch food and others had lunch food. The potatoes with the eggs I ordered were cold and had the texture of cardboard. It was pretty bad. The drinks were expensive, and not that good.
Ambiance: Overall, Blake's is kind of dirty. The bathroom downstairs was disgusting. The upstairs area (where we sat) had dirty carpet and the tables were mismatched--some being plastic. The bar downstairs was DirTy DIRTYYY and the shot we had was practically ALL juice, NO alk.
Service: our waitress was really slow and acted like she didn't know what we were saying when we were ordering. It took a good twenty minutes to get our drinks. Okay, if Blake's was crackin, and all the tables were filled, MAYBE it would take a bit to get our drinks. but HEY, it was practically empty! C'MON!
Price: Not worth what you get.
Overall, I don't plan on coming back here. gross gross grosssss. -
Review from Melody L.
Irvine, CA
2/3/2011
Typical bar food - very oily and fatty. BUT sometimes, that's what I'm in the mood for, and they do oily&fatty well. I like to get sandwich+fries! Their drinks are made well and they definitely give a fair portion of alcohol.
It''s kind of hard to eat at the restaurant, since it's set up to be so obviously a bar, so I tend to take my food to go. -
Review from Jennifer W.
San Francisco, CA
6/5/2010
I should have known better...$1 happy hour really is too good to be true. The portions are TINY ($1 taco = 1 taco, $2 slider = 1 tiny slider, etc.) and everything was generic tasting. nothing special - i probably could have mirowaved some frozen sliders to get the same quality of food. to even feel full you will have to order enough items that make it more expensive than an avg meal at blake's.
when things seem too good to be true, they are. lesson learned! -
Review from Diana L.
San Francisco, CA
11/20/2010
Ugh, I really don't like Blakes. I'm reviewing about their nightlife scene, not the food that they serve here during the daytime. The crowd is really ghetto and young--just not my scene. This is really the closest thing to a club at Berkeley though, so I can understand why some people would want to come here. Their drinks are pricey too, just like the club. Thursday nights are free for everyone (except sometimes they make people give donations or whatnot to some causes). I haven't been here in awhile, but I don't think it could have gotten much better, if any, at all.
Their upstairs is definitely a lot more chilled and laid back, and attracts an older crowd. I like it more. -
Review from Daniel C.
Oakland, CA
9/20/2010
Im pretty sure Tim Armstrong has something to do with this place, and I hate Rancid. Plus, its expensive, the basement is like some Gilman St. wannabe (which isn't saying much), and the staff is pretty horrible. Your usual clientele is between the annoying college bros trying to pick up on the bartender, the nice people trying to have a dinner and a few drinks, and the pretentious scene kids standing out front wearing an ill fitting t-shirt with a terrible metal/pop punk band on it.
Your better off going to a liquor store down the street, getting hammered and then going to fat slice... and then make your way to Blakes to laugh at all the people. -
Review from Amanda N.
7/14/2010
I've been to Blake's for different occasions...club event, happy hour/dinner, and late night drinks. I'd rate it average to below average for all of the above.
One plus for Blake's is it's 18+ to get inside during dinner time / happy hour, so it's good when you are on the cusp of turning 21. The club events are your basic student-club events...they are held on the upper floor & there is music playing & whatever. For happy hour/dinner, the food & drinks are pretty mediocre & not particularly cheap. I drank at the bar one night when Blake's was the only place open at 1am during finals week...the mixed drinks were really bad & way too strong. I'd just stick to ordering beer. Also, for some reason, I find a lot of homeless people wander in and do weird things like yell or sit at your table...but the staff is nice & helpful (i.e. will escort the homeless person away from your table...)
Overall, I probably wouldn't go to Blake's unless someone else really wanted to go. Not horrible, but not good.Listed in: Go Bears!
-
Review from Mace E.
Berkeley, CA
6/22/2010
This is a review for the club/bar, not the food.
Upstairs gets 3, downstairs gets 1 star.
Downstairs is dark, packed, sweaty and grimy. It's a mix of creepy guys and freshmen who haven't realized that getting felt up is not the best way to meet guys. The downstairs bartenders were more condescending than friendly and my drink tasted like water.
Upstairs is a fairly standard bar, nothing special. The bartenders there are more friendly and attentive, and they didn't screw up my drink. But overall, just skip this joint and either check out Mannys, Thalasa or Kips. -
Review from Christopher L.
Oakland, CA
5/29/2009 ROTD 7/4/2009
From the street stained sidewalk that leads you to the dingy pearly gates of Berkeleys heaven.
To the midnight marauders that stand in it's presence....there's a place where the young man who runs away from the fields of Iowa comes to go. There's a sound that brings the rock sister from the taverns of the Midwest.
There is a place that is generational and common to you and I. A place where the first beer will always be the last one remembered.
Alternative guitar players and grunge fired super stars. University students gone rogue..if only for the night.
Beautiful women more animated then digital google lust.
More conversation then a Yelp thread-a-thon.
The reverb is bringing my liquid glass to the edge of the bar, and only the one who's staring at me notice's it.
Best friends met for the first time that night. Relationships put on hold, at least till the music stops after last call.
She wore a red dress with black boots, he wore a pair of jeans fresh from the rack that afternoon.
The magnetism brought their eyes upon one another....the looking orgy begins. She wonders if he'll ever come to her...he wonders if she'd ever wait for him, wait for the courage to say "hello" to set in. All the while the musicians with no name plays a song that will one day be famous, one day be remembered.
Every year the lively seek refuge from the dull drums of despair, every season or two, you can find em in a place....a small wonder called Blakes. -
Review from Herra Chink y.
San Francisco, CA
9/21/2006
Ahhhhhh Blakes. Despite your scuzziness and whoredom, you and only you allowed me to basically drink away my last six months in college.
I was a senior. I was so over "Berkeley" and all the Azns and Greeks and the "college" scene. But I went to Blake's one last time, to see one of my favorite East Bay bands, the KGB. Little did I know that the KGB also attracts teenie-bopper suburban girls ages 17-19. Man, isn't that always the case?
Anyways, my friends Z, Brian, and I arrive there early. We get properly trashed in the downstairs sweat-soaked bar, and set up shop near the stage. The show was great - the KGB always puts on a good show, and there was this huge 300 pound rapper dude called Diesel that rapped over the KGB horns, guiters, instruments, etc. Diesel rocked, of course. He was very "Lyrics Born."
There was a stupid blonde girl behind me, and she kept on pushing up on me cause she wanted to be where I was, and OMFG what the hell is she doing, is she throwing elbows? WTF, dumb ho. Towards the end, she got a little more feisty, and started pushing up on Z as well. You see, I'm the type that has a calm temperament and I can handle other people's blatant trashiness. Z, however, is NOT.
The last song ends, people start filing out of the basement. I look at Z and she is giving the girl THE LOOK. Oh crap. I grab Brian and we literally start holding Z back, cause she's about to throw some elbows of her own.
Dumb Blonde Girl: "You want some of this, huh?"
Z: "Ed, Brian, seriously, this bitch is going down."
Brian: "Z, stop!"
Me: "Seriously Z, she ain't worth it. We're holding you back."
Z: "Ed, let go of me!"
Me: "Z, it ain't worth it. She's below you. She's just suburban white trash from Walnut Creek looking to suck some KGB cock!"
DBG: [shocked] "What did you just say?!"
Me: "Excuse me, did I STUTTER?"
I love that as I'm holding Z back, I'm starting some shit of my own. We grab Z and haul ass out of the bar. I get Z a fat slice and some water.
Z: "I'm heated, Ed. Where is that bitch, I'm gonna trip her."
Me: "Just eat your pizza, Z. Drink more water."
Who do we say come out of Blakes at that moment? Why, Diesel of course.
Z: "Diesel! You're a-frickin-mazing! I'm so heated right now, this god-damn white ho was all up on me, she's gettin thrown. Imma cut her!"
Diesel: "Hey baby girl. Man, it's all good, stop trippin. These two big niggas here gon' be watching your back."
I look at Brian, who is very Chinese, is 5 foot tall, and weighs all of 100 pounds.
Me: "Big niggas? Is he talking about us?"
Brian: "Yeah, I think so."
I stood up a little taller, and have had a little pride in my step from that day on. Cause Diesel called me a "big nigga." And that's how I roll.Listed in: Thizzel Juice Dispensers, I Like Me.
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Review from Trina M.
San Francisco, CA
3/1/2009
The crowd here has totally changed since the last time I came here....and for the worse. =/ Came here for their night life last weekend on Friday, cover was only $7 and the crowd was small !! It was so bad that even the DJ spoke through the mic " alright no one's dancing what cha wanna hear ?" there was dead silence 0.0 poor guy THEN he said " did someone fart on the dance floor or shiet ? why aint anyone dancing? " My friend Evan and I cracked up the whole night about it. It was good entertainment just watching the crowd that was all near the bar and how there was only 5 girls in the whole place including myself !! SAUSAGE FEST !!! I swear OMG !!
AND stupid me thinking i'll give this place another shot last night in hope that it was just a bad night last week BOY ! was I wrong !!! sorry 1 star =/ and the cover was $15 ? never again~ -
Review from Michelle S.
Brookline, MA
Updated - 4/6/2009
So, a buddy of mine had a gig here last weekend. Upon learning this, I thought to myself, "Good thing you're both talented and good-looking because I #@$%ing hate Blake's." After a show there, I will give it a little more credit.
It is actually a kinda fun place to see a show. I'm not sure if it is $10 cover charge fun; but it is still fun. However, if a cover charge is paid to get into a part of the bar, then that minimizes your chance encounters of homeless dudes getting all up in your business and sniffing you as happened in my previous review. However, the bums are in BRUTE FORCE by the door. Prepare yourself.
The bartenders could be a little faster.
The bathrooms downstairs are scary. One of the toilets has written on it "You have AIDS." I'm not kidding. So, um, on that note, I would like to tell the staff of Blake's the following:
"I know that Sharpies are supposedly "permanent markers." Guess what gets that $#@% off! 70% ethanol (alcohol) gets it off. Trust me. I have to wipe a lot of Sharpie off at work. If you have Bacardi 151 at the bar, it is 151 Proof or 75.5% ethanol. Try it. I don't want to pee in a toilet that tells me that I have AIDS."
On the other hand, for 75 cents, you can also get a pleasure pack in the bathroom: condom, climax control gel, stimulator ring, and something else that I forgot....don't think for one second that I didn't almost buy one. ;)Listed in: Allow me to entertain you...., Take this job and shove it
1 Previous Review: Show all »
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2/16/2008
You know, when I was an undergrad, and Dani and I (co-captains of the Cal Poly Chem Dept. Drinking… Read more »
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Review from Stephanie W.
Arlington, VA
1/3/2010
This was our first stop for the evening on the boy's birthday during his visit to Berkeley. I'm not pretending Blakes is good, neither of us were. But he used to work there and wanted to catch up with a few people on our evening out.
I remember going to Blakes during my freshman year of college for one of their club college nights in the basement. I remember it being full of creepy men, dark lights and bad music in a very poorly ventilated room. I remember the food looking very unappetizing and I remember not feeling any compulsion to go back.
Upon returning to Blakes, I discovered that things have indeed changed. Though I did not try the food, it actually looks appetizing now. The drinks are strong and we started the evening with a very nice lemon drop. There is space but the issue with Blakes is that it doesn't quite know what kind of bar it wants to be. It has strong drinks at the bar, counter service food and a rave in the basement? Overall, pick a theme and stick with it.
But until then, it's still not bad for an inexpensive Seabreeze or nice lemon drop.Listed in: Oh Alcohol I Still Drink To…
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Review from Sierra V.
Castro Valley, CA
12/30/2010 1 Check-in Here
Went on a Wednesday for Womp, or whatever. I'm not a huge fan of electronic music, but I thought, "Why not? They allow ins and outs and I want some goddamn Top Dog around 11pm."
The line to get in was ridiculously long, though I'm not surprised because it was 18+. A bunch of kids wearing plastic beads and furry boots isn't exactly my scene, but once again I said to myself why the fuck not?
And, well, after saying that at least twenty times to myself I devised a list of reasons of why I'll never return:
The "bouncers" are total dicks. They say they allow ins and outs, but they hassle the crap out of you when you try to get back in. The same guy who saw me walk out with my wristband visible, I showed him because I didn't know when I had to confirm the fact I paid $5 to get groped, ended up freaking out because my wristband situated itself under my sleeve.
Someone got stabbed in the head. I frequent the Tenderloin so I suppose this shouldn't surprise me, but for Christ's sakes I'm on Telegraph with a bunch of Cal kids smoking American Spirits.
The crowd was lame, for lack of a better word. I think I'll just wait to go to bars and clubs when i'm actually 21.
However, the beer selection looked good! It's not like a drank anything, but I was definitely creeping on the bar. -
Review from Art O.
San Francisco, CA
2/18/2010
Just like others said, these guys exemplify poor service.
It started out alright - the hostess/waitress actually noticed me and sat me at a somewhat clean table. I have to say that the place looked a mess. Even though I arrived in the off hours (3pm-5pm) there's no excuse to have multiple tables unbussed.
I ordered 3 chicken adobo tacos that were plain boring. No real care was put into making them. I also ordered small chili cheese fries and was charged for and given the large. The waitress even acknowledged the mistake but still overcharged me. And to top it off, it took quite the effort to get someone to finally get me the bill. The waitress that ended up finishing the bill, however, was very kind and competent.
I remember I would go to Blakes back in college for fun shows but never really ate there til now. Now I know that I didn't miss much.
It's so sad to see Telegraph in worse shape these days but this kind of service seems to explain the situation down there. -
Review from Rae'esah N.
Antioch, CA
6/3/2009
I had a blast dining here!
We turned our girls loose in Wet Seal (across the street) and stepped into Blakes for something to drink and some people watching.
After a round I called the our girls who informed me "they were going to be a while" we decided to have another drink and some food.
We both ordered burgers - mine was better b'cuz I had them hold the special sauce - really fresh bread, tasty burger and big.
David and I shared our fries - he had the garlic and I, the cajun - both were yummy!
Probably far better than the food are the people of Berkeley.
In the hour we were there we experienced:
firetrucks pull up right outside the window (which caused me to race over to Wet Seal and check on my girls) turns out a vendor was getting mouthy with another vendor and somehow threats were made resulting in a call to 911 police and fire
same mouthy blonde vendor getting into shouting match with a lady in her car driving down the street
a jewelry vendor came in ordered a "brooklyn" which he explained is my long island only hold the ice - (that would make it room temp yuck) - but on the upside he said if I came over and purchased any of his wares he'd throw in a dime bag of smoke. I'm not kidding.
Man & wife get into arguing match over the amount of tip to leave the bartender - wife storms out.
People watching here is the absolute best! For 40.00 we had lunch and quite a show!
Berkeley has not changed one bit since I used to stomp here as a teenager 25 years ago. *choke*
Blake's bathroom is located downstairs. It's deserted and spooky down there as you wind your way through the sound equipment and dust.
I did find a Ms. Pac Man game to play while I waited for my girls to "go"! -
Review from Devora L.
2/29/2008 1 photo
So last night, a friend and I decided that we wanted to engage in some girly chat over some girly cocktails. Since we were in the campus area, we thought we'd roll on over to Blakes. Little did we know that over the next hour, we would get hardcore macked on all night, thus completely obliterating our plans to have our girly chat. So we ordered our drinks, grabbed a table, and the arrival of the suitors commenced.
We had what my friend called The Frat Boy, The Racist Guy, The Tool (which actually came in a pair), and The Skater Boy approach us, which were all kind of awkward, yet hilarious exchanges. Keep in mind that these are probably all college students.
So last night was the first time that I had ever been for just drinks. All the other times that I've been there were for shows downstairs, which is decent, though there are other venues that I'd rather be at.
This bar is by no means any place to go out of your way for, but ladies, if you're in the area and you wanna get macked on by college guys, this is totally your scene ;)Listed in: Late Night Eateries and…, My "Oh Hell No" List
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Review from sandy t.
Monrovia, CA
5/24/2009
I met up with a out-of-town friend because she wanted to buy incense from some street vendor on Telegraph. There aren't too many eating options in general on Telegraph if you're trying to avoid the cheap college food kind...
So we settled on Blakes because it looked decent...not too grimy looking and the food seemed ok. A step above fast food but no where near decent restaurant food. Its more like fancy bar food.
My side salad was soggy and I was a little hesitant to finish it...because I could foresee myself with a upset tummy...the ranch dressing looked a little suspicious. And the restrooms downstairs is just disgusting. Lots of graffitti and one of the toilets was broken. Broken, used toilet =gag reflex. -
Review from Meg T.
12/10/2008
I have friends in the music business.
And by business I mean they have bands.
And by friends... I mean several guys I know through other people.
They play here sometimes.
And by sometimes, I mean I have gone to see them once, when they were both playing.
It should be noted that this was prior to dating the singer of one and after becoming good friends with the singer of the other.
What can I say, apparently I have a thing for guys who can sing.
Blake's downstairs has a Uncle Ted and Aunt Kate's Rec room vibe to it. It's dark and basement like. It kinda looks like a good place for a dungeon or some secret millionaires sex party.
I ordered a beer from the downstairs bar (which every good sex party should have) and some nachos, which weren't very good.
I'd come back. Mostly because as a friend of the business, I'm obligated to show my support.
It's either that or deal with the whining. -
Review from Mikey U.
6/15/2009
[Bar/Restaurant review]
I probably hadn't been to Blake's in *cough* years; I had fond (but maybe misplaced!) memories of the place being a lil bit more character'd and bric-a brac... you know, like a *proper* college bar.
We stopped in here for a beer or two to primer ourselves for the afternoon in Berkeley before the India.Arie concert.
The place looks a little more upscale than I recall (or that could have just been the effect of daylight... and sobriety). At the same time, it seems the establishment has lost some of its collegiate charms; most of the walls are devoid of anything eye-fetching, just plain neutral walls from floor to high ceiling. The bar area looked particularly barren, feeling somewhat like an unfinished redecorating project. Still, for a sidewalk view of Berkeley street-life and eccentricity, its a prime locale.
The menu has changed a little bit from what I remember, still offering stepped-up versions of bar food and casual eats, burgers and the like being the staple of the kitchens offerings. And, thankfully, there are more than a handful of vegetarian or pescatarian options.
It might not be among my first dozen choices of places to eat, but for a drink on busy Telegraph, sho'nuff.
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I have fuzzy memories of sweaty, rowdy concerts here,
but for the life of me, I can't remember who I saw. -
Review from Ana B.
San Francisco, CA
2/15/2008
Puke.
I have three zits popping out of my forehead to prove that their food is a greasy pile of puke.
