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Bally Total Fitness
- Nearest Transit:
-
Washington/Wells (Orange, Brown, Purple Express, Pink)
Clinton (Pink, Green)
Washington (Blue, Red)
- Good for Kids:
- No
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2 reviews for Bally Total Fitness
Hey Ballys, Dnde estn mis pantalones?!?
I am in the gym after my workout, mindin' my own. Take off my gross gym stuff and heading back from the shower. And then--I notice--WHERE ARE MY PANTS? I start digging through my locker, still under-toweled and dripping. Bag? Check. Wallet? Check. Ipod? Yup. Everything is in order, but WHERE ARE MY PANTS? I get redressed to begin the search: my short work polo shirt now attractively paired with tight puma stretch pants. I start looking through empty lockers, on top of the lockers, anywhere pants like to wander when left unattended. Nope.
I take my stretch-panted butt upstairs to talk to the two Britneys at the front--they ask if I'm sure if I brought the pants in the first place (hmmmm? Did I forget to wear pants to work today? No, no, I'm pretty sure I didn't. It would have been brought up in a memo at least.) They tell me to ask housekeeping, so I scamper back downstairs. "Have you seen any pants?" I ask the woman with the mop. "No hablo ingles," she says, bored. "PANTS?" I plead, pointing to the area that pants would sit on my body, were I wearing any. She shrugs, "No hablo ingles," and I think I detect a smirk.
Now, look, I'm bleeding liberal in my veins, and I respect cultural differences as much as anyone, but C'MON. Don't tell me you don't know what in the world PANTS means. If a kindly old man in a sombrero and poncho and no pants came up to me and asked, "Donde este Pantalones?!", I think I'd somehow manage to piece the situation together. Instead: the smirk. I respond with a glare. She is now pant suspect #1.
I go back to my locker for a final half-hearted sweep of the area. The girl next to me asks, "What's wrong? Lost your pants?" This makes me wonder, is this a common occurrence? Part of the human experience? Why aren't we seeing Dateline Investigative Reports, "Betrayed In The Locker Room: One Girl's Terrifying Ordeal!"? By her size she's obviously not the thief, and when I groan that I'm going to have to go home in a dress shirt and glorified spandex, she sympathizes. "You look fine!" she says, "People dress like that on the bus all the time!"
Ok, true, but...? That doesn't make it right. Other folks move to the rear of the bus when that person steps on. They think, "Please don't sit by me, weird clothes combo person!" They assume that when someone goes this particular fashion route, an accompanying strange odor is involved. And they are right, of course, because these are my workout pants post-workout, and are none too friendly. I hate that person. I am that person.
I slink back up past Britneys, and they tell me to check back in to see if anything turns up. Like my pants are going to call from the shelter, saying all is forgiven and asking to come pack home. They know and I know it: it's over. Time to let it go. And walk (puma fast!) to the bus stop.
***Please To Note: This is actually a chronical of my dumb ass somehow losing a key component of my wardrobe in a confined area. This is not an indictment of Bally's, their uber blond employees, or their legally not-responsible for lost or stolen items locker rooms. This review can be, however, used as a legitimate excuse for skipping your spin class tonight. ~Jessica Walden-Morden
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This review is a few years late. However, I feel the need to warn people who want to become Bally's members. If I can give zero stars, I would. Someone stole my watch from this Bally's. When I was running, an employee came up to me offering to be my trainer. I thought it came with my membership. I asked him if it was free, he said he would charge me $15 every training session. I was not sure if he meant $15 cash so he can make money "off the books" or if I had to sign another contract. I did not stay long enough to find this out. I said no, I did not need his services, finished my contract with Bally's and NEVER came back to this place again.
Warning to people thinking of becoming Bally's members: If they don't want you to bring home the contract so you can read it before signing, DO NOT COMMMIT TO A MEMBERSHIP HERE. I read the fine print of my contract and the "membership" is actually a "loan" you'll be taking out. There are clauses for the "trial period". Unless you go to the gym a specified # of times within the trial period, you cannot back out of this "membership". Why would a company FORCE you to stay with their services? It is your right as a customer to find the best service at the best price and not sign a contract with a health club that's overcharging you. You are better off being a member of your local park district gym.
