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Baja Beach Club
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7 reviews for Baja Beach Club
For the uninformed (or non-Baltimore locales): This place has been shut-down since March 1, 2008.
This was one of the first clubs I ever visited. Unfortunately, I don't remember much of it - besides that there were lots of sleazy guys trying to get some ass and admission was free for me on Thursday nights.
Essentially, it was fun when I just hung out with my girlfriends; but the sleaze balls really don't take "No" for an answer.
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Baja was my introduction to Baltimore nightlife. Or, well, nightlife in general. My senior year of high school and freshman year of college, this was THE place to go on Thursday night.
....oh god, just writing that makes me realize how desperate my friends and I really were.
Baja is full of fake tans, short skirts, and sweaty minors trying to pick up gross pieces of ass for the night. Just think of 'Girls Gone Wild' in a Baltimore club setting. Sounds appealing, right? Back in high school I just couldn't wait for Thursday night to roll around.....now I avoid this place like the plague.
And please don't be surprised if you walk out of this club with herpes.
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This place can't possibly still be around. I remember neon day-glo and black lights everywhere with cellulite-ridden bikini girls serving high-priced beers. If you were looking for a fight this was the place to go because there were quite a few bolt-neck, knuckle-dragging, roid-heads (including bouncers) scoping the place for inncocent pencil neck geeks to rage on. Scumbag alley. AND the bachelorette parties, oh man. "Some poor bastard is marrying that skank" my friend said as we watched the bride-to-be drink a frothy alcoholic beverage off some over-tan guido' abdomen. This place is the New Jersey Douchbag bar. See http://www.hotchickswi... for an example.
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Holy white trash! Bachelorette party with penis ballons and stripper dancing up the crowd! Cheesy models licking whipped cream off each others nipples with oral insinuation! Tanned gurrls in tropical bikinis dancing next to big tubs of cheap crappy beer! Cell phone charging maching in the corner! Guy dropping his trousers and exposing his smooth ass to be whipped red by waitress dressed in good girl/bad girl outfit that was rejected from Hooters! At least there wasn't a cover.
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So when I went out in Baltimore on a Wednesday night I really wasn't expecting much at all, trying to simultaneously escape the traditional tourist fare and my grumpy ole father who had missed his nap and was in the middle of a diatribe on why he hated cities so much. I asked a few city workers where the clubs were at I was sent to strip club row. Note to self: be specific in my requests. Not exactly what I had in mind, as I tend not to frequent "gentleman's clubs" without a female escort (it just seems to makes the experience so much more enjoyable.)
Eventually a door guy pointed me in the direction of this fine establishment, which shares the name with an equally cheesy establishment in Orlando (or was that Zuma Beach club?) Anyway maybe it was the four scotch & salad dinner I had or the excitement that Coronas were only 3 dollars but I ended up having a pretty good time. Upon later thought the exact details are a little fuzzy, drinking, dancing and waking up floating around the Baltimore harbor in a rubber dingy. Here's a tip, if your trying to start an outboard engine, make sure you use the key / safety switch otherwise you'll just tire yourself out pulling the starter rope and pass out. Bonus points for not falling over the side & drowning.
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This place has it's niche. That niche is ridiculously drunk young (17-23ish) people rubbing up against each other and trying to find someone to take home for the night. At least in my experiences. The drinks are cheap, and they've got dancing, and it's a nice change from the usual Irish pub or Fridays, but you really have to be in the mood for it. Go with a group of friends (or a wingman) and have a good time, but take it for what it's worth.
aside from the 25cents beer night, i can't say anything good about this place. or maybe it's just not my type of place.
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