Babies R US the Baby Super Store

Elite '09

227

174

Chris L.

Portland, OR

8/3/2009

On August 3rd, 2009, D Christopher "Twisted" Lister's wild and debaucherous mojo passed away due to the sudden onset of incurable baby daddy adulthood.  Chris was 37.  His mojo was 22.  

Close friends say his desire for debauchery fought hard to the very end, but knew maturity was inevitable once he willingly signed up for a Babies R Us rewards card.  Family members say that towards the end he was actually making frequent trips to the 82nd avenue location, and seemed at piece with his impending fate of evenings spent shopping for car seats, crib mattresses, baby monitors and the all important breast pump.  When 15% off coupons for diaper bags, sippy cups and strollers brought measurable joy to his life, his mojo was officially declared dead.

Best known for all night acts of depravity and Hunter S Thompson impersonations, his departed mojo is survived by single friends, Hefner's stamina, Kate Moss' nasal passages, Courtney Love's liver, Magnum P.I.'s mustache and David Duchovny's libido.  Known for its philanthropist side, Chris' mojo made regular donations to the college funds of Sapphire, Cinnamon and Fantasia, while local brew pubs and organic growers of medicinal herbs were frequent beneficiaries of his generosity.  

In lieu of flowers, Chris asks that you please make donations in the memory of his mojo to strippers' G-strings, dive bar jukeboxes and your local free health clinic.

No funeral is planned as Chris' mojo is being placed in cryogenic storage, to be thawed out in 1 month and 18 years.  Frequent memorials will be scheduled for immediate friends and family, where Chris will remember the "good old days' spent with his mojo and lamely try to revisit them through interpretive dance & binge drinking.

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