Alamo Park Basketball Court

 

8

14

Chad F.

Austin, TX

Worst.  Sideline Reporter.  Ever.

Sideline Reporter: So, Alamo Park, tell us - how do you feel after a game like that?

Alamo Park: Uhh, sorry, are you talking to me? What do you mean? I'm the basketball court. I just sit here while people play their basketball.

Sideline Reporter: Right. Ok. Well, what do you think really did it for you at the end? That last shot was amazing. How did you get it off?

Alamo Park: Seriously? You're going to interview the basketball court after the game? Shouldn't you be doing a meaningless and uninformative interview with one of the players?  They're all sitting on the bleachers over there. I think there are a few by the water fountain, too.

Sideline Reporter: Let's talk about the conditions today. The asphalt here is great - very few cracks or other irregularities. The backboards are stable, and the cloth nets are in great condition. Plus, this high metal roof kept the sun out in the afternoon, and the lights kept the place perfectly lit at night. How did you make that happen?

Alamo Park:  Is this some kind of joke?! Did the Hike & Bike Trail put you up to this? That lame hippy facility is really starting to piss...

Sideline Reporter: What about your decision not to substitute in the last 2 minutes - some question whether that was the right call. Also, do you give 110% on every play, or something less? Is it about the money, or about respect?

Alamo Park:  Am I awake? Is this really happening? All I do is hold up the six hoops, the roof, and the bleachers for them to sit on. I'm not actually part of any team. I really don't think this is that complicated.

Sideline Reporter: Will you go on the record and tell us whether or not you took steriods?

Alamo Park: I'm done here.

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